Anger Management. not OC, don't know if people have seen this before on here EDIT: Top 80 on a repost... I am ashamed. Anger Management When you occasionally ha
Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search

hide menu

Anger Management

not OC, don't know if people have seen this before on here
EDIT: Top 80 on a repost... I am ashamed

Anger Management
When you occasionally have had a really bad day, and you lust need to
take it out on someone, don' t take it out on someone you know, take it
out on someone you don' t know, but who really deserves it!
I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I' d forgotten to
I found the number and dialed it.
A man answered, saying 'Hello.'
I politely said, 'This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?'
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear: 'Get the right l'** ing
number!', and the phone was slammed down on me.
I couldn' t believe that anyone could be so rude.
When I tracked down Robyn' s correct number to call her, I found that I
had accidentally transposed the last two digits.
After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again.
When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled ‘You' re an ',
and hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my desk drawer.
Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad
day, I' d call him up and yell,
You' re an asshole!‘
It always cheered me up.
When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop.
So, I called his number and said, 'Hi, this is John Smith from the
telephone company.
I' m calling to see if you' re familiar with our Caller ID Prgram?'
He yelled 'Nol' and slammed down the phone.
I quickly called him back and said, 'That' s because you' re an
asshole!', and hung up.
one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited tor.
I hit the horn and yelled that I' d been waiting for that spot, but the idiot
ignored me.
I noticed a ‘For Sale' sign in his back window, so I wrote down his
A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial), I thought that I' d better call the BMW asshole,
I said, 'ls this the man with the black BMW for sale?'
He said, Yes, it is.'
I then asked, 'Can you tell me where I can see it?'
He said, Yes, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax.
It' s a yellow ranch style house and the car' s parked right out in front.'
I asked, 'What' s your name?'
He said, 'My name is Don Hansen,'
I asked, 'when' s a good time to catch you, Don?‘
He said, Tm home every evening after mm.'
I said, 'Listen, Don, can I tell you something?‘
He said, Yes?'
I said, 'Don, you' re an asshole!‘
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too.
Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea...
I called asshole M.
He said, 'Hello.'
I said, ‘You' re an asshole!‘ (but I didn' t hang up.)
He asked, 'Are you still there?'
He screamed, 'Stop calling me,'
I said, 'Make me,'
He asked, ‘who are you?‘
I said, 'My name is Don Hansen.'
He said, 'Yeah? Where do you live?‘
I said, ‘Asshole, I live at 34 Oratree Blvd, in Fairfax, it' s a yellow ranch
style home and, I have a black Beemer parked in front.‘
He said, Tm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers.'
I said, Yeah, like I' m really scared, asshole,' and hung up.
Then I called Asshole #2.
He said, 'Hello?'
I said, 'Hella, asshole.‘
He yelled, 'lfl ever Md out who you are...‘
I said, ‘You' ll what?'
He exclaimed, Tll kick your ass,'
I answered, 'Well, asshole, here' s your chance. I' m coming over right
Then I hung up and immediately called the Police, saying that I lived at
34 Oratree Blvd in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover.
Then I called Channel T News about the gay war going down on
I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax.
I got there lust in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of
each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter, and
surrounded by a news crew.
Now, I feel MUCH better!
Anger management really does work!
Views: 21027
Favorited: 174
Submitted: 07/04/2011
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to johnbender E-mail to friend submit to reddit
Share image on facebook Share on StumbleUpon Share on Tumblr Share on Pinterest Share on Google Plus E-mail to friend



Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Top Rated Controversial Best Lowest Rated Newest Per page:
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#7 - tomhefailin (07/04/2011) [+] (3 replies)
i dont want to reward your bad behavior but that repost is hilarious
i dont want to reward your bad behavior but that repost is hilarious
User avatar #52 - djChives (07/05/2011) [+] (1 reply)
I just read the whole "real wincest" post. I'm not going to read this. It's also a repost.
User avatar #97 - BigJords (07/05/2011) [+] (4 replies)
i cant be ****** reading that after wasting 20 min of my life on the wincest post
#70 - zetsumeitaka (07/05/2011) [+] (2 replies)
I don't care if it is a re-post, this is hilarious.
I don't care if it is a re-post, this is hilarious.
#5 - brononymous **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#78 - tunneyb **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#71 - sickearth (07/05/2011) [-]
#66 - ilovepurpleyeah (07/05/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#9 - Petrolbomb **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
#90 - buttwhipe (07/05/2011) [-]
Your're really a high leveled asshole
#40 - danmonkfish (07/05/2011) [-]
related Demetri Martin quote:
"I called this number once and said, 'is Steve there?' and a lady answered 'No.' I said, 'Good, i'm avoiding him.' Steve is such an asshole."
#92 - brawndotheseadrago (07/05/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Does anyone know how old this story really is?

I'd say 2007 at least.

Picture Unrelated.
#89 - CisForCookie (07/05/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#65 - xxxsonic fanxxx (07/05/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #60 - blboy (07/05/2011) [-]
oh my god.. this has been posted so much still thumbed yeh bro i liked to be refreshed of the story
#32 - ilikepornalot (07/05/2011) [-]
Reading turns me on.
Reading turns me on.
#29 to #28 - johnbender (07/05/2011) [-]
Submitted: 10/08/2010

Leave a comment
 Friends (0)