The Egg. worth the read. This was uploaded in response to the "things to ponder" that have been gaining popularity. this was posted a while ago on her
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The Egg

worth the read. This was uploaded in response to the "things to ponder" that have been gaining popularity. this was posted a while ago on here but i do not know who the op was (if you are, and show me proof, i will give credz or delete if you would prefer)

The Egg
By: Andy Weir
You were on your way home when you died.
It was a car accident. Nothing particularly
remarkable, but fatal nonetheless. You left behind a
wife and two children. It was a painless death. The
tried their best to save you, but to no avail.
Your body was so utterly shattered you were better
off, trust me.
And that' s when you met me.
What... what happened?" You asked. "Where am
You died," I said, . No point in
mincing words.
There was a... a truck and it was skidding..."
Yup," I said.
Yup. But don' t feel bad about it. Everyone dies," I
said.
You looked around. There was nothingness. Just you
and me. "What is this place?" You asked. "Is this the
afterlife?"
More or less,'' I said.
Are you god?" You asked.
My kids... my wife," you said.
What about them?"
Will they be all right?"
That' s what I like to see," I said. "You just died and
your main concern is for your family. That' s good
stuff right there."
You looked at me with fascination. To you, I didn' t
look like God. I just looked like some man. Or
possibly a woman. Some vague authority figure,
maybe. More of a grammar school teacher than the
almighty.
Don' t worry," I said. "They' ll be fine. Your kids will
remember you as perfect in every way. They didn' t
have time to grow contempt for you. Your wife will
cry on the outside, but will be secretly relieved. To be
fair, your marriage was falling apart. If it' s any
consolation, she' ll feel very guilty for feeling
relieved."
Oh," you said. "So what happens now? Do I go to
heaven or hell or something?"
Neither," I said. "You' ll be reincarnated."
Ah," you said. "So the Hindus were right,"
All religions are right in their own way," I said.
Walk with me."
You followed along as we strode through the void.
Where are we going?"
Nowhere in particular," I said. "It' s just nice to walk
while we talk.''
So what' s the point, then?" You asked. "When I get
reborn, I' ll Just be a blank slate, right? A baby. So all
my experiences and everything! did in this life won' t
matter."
Not so!" I said. "You have within you all the
knowledge and experiences of all your past lives. You
just don' t remember them right now."
I stopped walking and took you by the shoulders.
Your soul is more magnificent, beautiful, and
gigantic than you can possibly imagine. A human
mind can only contain a tiny fraction of what you are.
It' s like sticking your finger in a glass of water to see
if it' s hot or cold. You put a tiny part of yourself into
the vessel, and when you bring it back out, you'
gained all the experiences it had.
You' been in a human for the last 48 years, so you
haven' t stretched out yet and felt the rest of your
immense consciousness. If we hung out here for long
enough, you' d start remembering everything. But
there' s no point to doing that between each life.''
How many times have I been reincarnated, then?"
Oh lots. Lots and lots. An in to lots of different
lives." I said. "This time around, you' ll be a Chinese
peasant girl in 540 AD."
Wait, what?" You stammered. "You' re sending me
back in time?"
Well, I guess technically. Time, as you know it, only
exists in your universe. Things are different where I
come from."
Where you come from?" You said.
Oh sure," I explained "I come from somewhere.
Somewhere else. And there are others like me. I
know you' ll want to know what it' s like there, but
honestly you wouldn' t understand."
Oh," you said, a little let down. "But wait. If I get
reincarnated to other places in time, I could have
interacted with myself at some point."
Sure. Happens all the time. And with both lives only
aware of their own lifespan you don' t even know it' s
happening."
So what' s the point of it all?"
Seriously?" I asked. "Seriously? You' re asking me for
the meaning of life? Isn' t that a little stereotypical?"
Well it' s a reasonable question," you persisted.
I looked you in the eye. "The meaning of life, the
reason I made this whole universe, is for you to
mature."
You mean mankind? You want us to mature?"
No, Just you. I made this whole universe for you.
With each new life you grow and mature and become
a larger and greater intellect."
Just me? What about everyone else?"
There is no one else," I said. "In this universe,
there' s Just you and me."
You stared blankly at me. "But all the people on
All you. Different incarnations of you."
Wait. I' m everyone!?"
Now you' re getting it," I said, with a congratulatory
slap on the back.
I' m every human being who ever lived?"
Or who will ever live, yes."
I' m Abraham Lincoln?"
And you' re John Wilkes Booth, too," I added.
Tm Hitler?" You said, appalled.
And you' re the millions he killed."
And you' re everyone who followed him."
You fell silent.
Every time you victimized someone," I said, "you
were victimizing yourself. Every act of kindness
you' done, you' done to yourself. Every happy
and sad moment ever experienced by any human
was, or will be, experienced by you."
You thought for a long time.
Why?" You asked me. "Why do all this?"
Because someday, you will become like me.
Because that' s what you are. You' re one of my kind.
You' re my child."
Whoa," you said, incredulous. "You mean I' m a
No. Not yet. You' re a fetus. You' re still growing.
Once you' lived every human life throughout all
time, you will have grown enough to be born."
So the whole universe," you said, "it' s just..."
An egg." I answered. "Now it' s time for you to move
on to your next life."
And I sent you on your way.
...
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Submitted: 06/20/2011
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Comments(346):

[ 346 comments ]

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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#120 - nry (06/21/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Morgan Freeman should narrate for the God part
#79 - HunterAsesino (06/21/2011) [-]
oops
+23
#263 - funnylookingpichu **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#273 - TheTurnbull (06/21/2011) [-]
So watching porn is watching you **** youself
#33 - PhenomenalPancake (06/21/2011) [+] (7 replies)
Except the narrator.
THIS IS NOW THE OFFICIAL RELIGION OF FUNNYJUNK!
#117 - lulz (06/21/2011) [+] (1 reply)
This brings a whole new meaning to "go 						****					 yourself" to me.
This brings a whole new meaning to "go **** yourself" to me.
#232 - bbbobbobbb (06/21/2011) [+] (1 reply)
im justin bieber
im justin bieber
+14
#216 - Maracuchos **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#352 - trollsaurus (06/21/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Crazy part is this is more convincing then any religion I've come across.
#294 - aergo (06/21/2011) [+] (1 reply)
#233 - icecweiner (06/21/2011) [+] (1 reply)
So if I am everyone

does that mean when i have sex, I'm technically having sex with myself
+11
#371 - taintedivine **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#288 - klondikemonster (06/21/2011) [-]
"GO **** YOURSELF!!!"

already done, lol
#362 - anonymous (06/21/2011) [-]
so wait forever alone is the **** yeah guy too
User avatar #188 - hoovy (06/21/2011) [+] (5 replies)
In the end, the point of life is to grow. Whatever religious belief or idea helps you sleep at night is fine with me as long as there is one rule you cannot break. That rule being you can't stop the growth of another person, I.e. Kill, mentally or physically harm them in any way. If there is no form of afterlife in a spiritual way there still is in a physical way. You will decompose, time will go on and you will become part of the ground and whatever accomplishments you made in life will continue to effect the future. People are afraid of death because they are afraid of the unknown. If you are a good Christian you will go to heaven. If you are an atheist you will be dead and...well be dead. People don't understand the concept of not existing so for some it's scary. In the end, if you went to church, if your religion made you a bit nicer, it didn't hurt anyone. If you didn't then hopefully you were a good enough person in life. In the end, no one knows for sure, so shut up about it. Find yer path, offer it to others but don't force it on them, and live your life. That is what I believe.
User avatar #68 - niggles (06/21/2011) [+] (2 replies)
So everytime he ****** someone he ****** himself
#69 to #68 - xxXDarkfireXxx (06/21/2011) [-]
Well if I looked like this, I'd sure as hell **** myself.
#215 - anonymous (06/21/2011) [-]
So its okay to jack off to child porn because its yourself
User avatar #160 - EvilSquiggly (06/21/2011) [-]
Lol from 4chan thread..
"LOL EVERYTIME YOU ****** SOMEONE YOU ****** YOURSELF"
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