World Economic Model. Unit: Cows
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You have 2 cows. You give one to your neighbor.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and gives you some milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and sells you some milk.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both and shoots you.
You have 2 cows. The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other and
then throws the milk away
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies and
the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
You have 2 cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk
of four cows. Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has
Enron Venture Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company
using letters of credit opened by your at the bank, then
execute a debt/ equity swap with an associated general offer so that
you get all four cows back, with tax exemption for five cows. The milk
rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman
Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
report says the company owns eight cows, with and option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United states,
leaving you with nine cows. No balance sheet provided with the
release. The public then buys your bull.
Andersen Model Capitalism
You have 2 cows. You shred them
You have 2 cows. You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads
because you want 3 cows.
You have 2 cows. You redesign them so they are l/ l o the size efan or-
binary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create a
clever cow cartoon image called 'Cowdemon‘ and market it worldwide.
You have 2 cows. You revengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat
once a month and milk themselves.
You have 2 cows, but you don' t know where they are. You decide to
You have 2 cows. You count them and learn that you have S cows. You
count again and learn you have 42 cows. You count again and learn you
have 2 cows. You open another bottle of vodka.
You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you. You charge the
owners for storing them.
You have 2 cows. You ahve no people milking them. You claim that
you have full emp you full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reports otherwise.
You have 2 cows. You worship them.
You have 2 cows. Both are mad.
Everyone thnks you have many cows. You tell them you have none but
they don' t believe you and bomb the shit out of your country, You still
have no cows but at least you are part ofa democracy
New Zealand Capitalism
You have 2 cows. The one on the left is looking pretty sexy.
You have 2 cows. Business seems good. You close the office and go for
a few celebratory beers.