Top 10 one liners part 4 QUOTES, fixed.. Sorry but this one is the fixed version. is the website. Part 3:
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Top 10 one liners part 4 QUOTES, fixed.

crop 10 Cr? ire LI? ,
10. So I wish I could play little league naw, I' d
kick some ******* ass.
9. Fish are always eating other, fish. If fish
could scream, the Mean would be loud as **** .
You would not want to submerge yaw head,
nothing but fish going "Arhh, **** ! I thought I
looked like that rack!"
8. Check this joke out', If you wanna talk to me
after, the show I' ll be... ******* ... surprised.
I' m ganna have to have some liner notes far
that joke like, "During that joke, he points to
the back." So people get the full experience.
I' m ganna do a bunch of jokes that require
actually seeing me. Then the CD will piss people
7. When I was a boy, I laid in my
bed and wandered where my brather was.
as I don' t have a microwave wen, but I do
have a clock that occasionally cooks **** .
5. I had a parrot, The parrot talked, but it
did not say "I' m hungry," so it died.
4. I adder the club sandwich all the time, but
I' m not even a member, man. I don' t know how
I get away with it,
3. I' d like to make a vending machine that
sells vending machines. It' d have to be real
******* big!
2. An escalator, can never' can only
become stairs. You would never' see an
Escalator, Temporarily Out Of Order" sign,
just "Escalator, Temporarily Stains, Sorry far
the convenience. We apologize far the fact
that you can still get up There."
1. On a Traffic light green means W and
yellow means yield, but an a banana it' s just
the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow
means w ahead, and red means where the
hell did you get that banana ...
beds: Theillestvillan (far giving me the
idea), and of causse Mitch friedberg.
Nam: 50 thumbs far mare, I found mare.
Second Now: If anyone has any ideas far
mare, please camment with a sample if
yaw doing a Comedian,
Bonus: Typing about a mare advanced
subject can get really immature really
fast, Take the phrase 'black hale far
example. If you leave the 'L' out of either,
ward, it can TOTALLY change the
of a sentence,
Dedz: violinistbyspirit, website in
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Submitted: 05/24/2011
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#36 - juanbarajas (05/24/2011) [+] (6 replies)
#10 - msgtiron **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (36 replies)
#70 - JustLMAO **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #115 - BobbyMcFerrin (05/24/2011) [-]
I haven't slept for 3 days, man...because that would be too long.

My roommate asked me if I wanted a frozen banana. I said no, but I do want a regular banana later. So...yes.

Dogs are forever in the push up position.

Rice is great if you're hungry and you want two thousand of something.

Mitch Hedburg R.I.P.
#275 - headbutt (05/25/2011) [+] (1 reply)
#3 I heard you like vending machines, so I put vending machines in a vending machine
#93 - Willhelm (05/24/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Last one: what's so immature about a backhoe?
User avatar #69 - dbzvsrvd (05/24/2011) [+] (4 replies)
*i'm not racist i make fun each race equally
*i'm not racist i hate all races equally
*i don't just hate you i just hate you more than anyone else
#72 to #71 - jrs (05/24/2011) [-]
I'm not racist, I think everyone should own a black man or two.
#31 - venemousturtle **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#240 - coldpasta (05/24/2011) [-]
Number 3.
#194 - keiios (05/24/2011) [-]
Yo dawg about that vending machine....
#92 - rockstarownage (05/24/2011) [-]
actually a red bannana means you've been playing too much donkey kong.
#268 - onezeroeight (05/25/2011) [-]
*I used to do drugs. I still do, but i used to too

You missed one. Picture kind of half-ass related. Depending on how you look at it
#260 - TheCrackerjack (05/24/2011) [+] (1 reply)
I liked the epic one-liners better than the jokes
#248 - uniquegamers (05/24/2011) [-]
I went outta town the other day and drove for 50 miles before I finally realized something was wrong. I had the emergency brake lever on. I then figured it's not an emergency brake lever, it's an emergency make the car smell funny lever.
#147 - donotlaugh **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#179 - lovetolmao (05/24/2011) [-]
You should do Demetri Martin next. Example: "When all of your friends are fat, there are no such thing as see-saws. Only catapults."
#161 - brunostaysloyal **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#135 - Absolute Madman (05/24/2011) [+] (3 replies)
User avatar #136 to #135 - feeldawrath (05/24/2011) [-]
Where the hell did you get that banana at?
User avatar #40 - osetinka (05/24/2011) [-]
i had a lot of trouble getting to sleep last night, there was this girl constantly banging on my door... so i finally got up and let her out.
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