Top 10 one liners part 4 QUOTES, fixed.. Sorry but this one is the fixed version. is the website. Part 3: funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2148001/Top+10+one+liners
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Top 10 one liners part 4 QUOTES, fixed.

Sorry but this one is the fixed version.
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Part 3: funnyjun...more »

Sorry but this one is the fixed version.
You need to login to view this link is the website.
Part 3: funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2148001/Top+10+one+liners+Part+3/

crop 10 Cr? ire LI? ,
Epii;
10. So I wish I could play little league naw, I' d
kick some ******* ass.
9. Fish are always eating other, fish. If fish
could scream, the Mean would be loud as **** .
You would not want to submerge yaw head,
nothing but fish going "Arhh, **** ! I thought I
looked like that rack!"
8. Check this joke out', If you wanna talk to me
after, the show I' ll be... ******* ... surprised.
I' m ganna have to have some liner notes far
that joke like, "During that joke, he points to
the back." So people get the full experience.
I' m ganna do a bunch of jokes that require
actually seeing me. Then the CD will piss people
off.
7. When I was a boy, I laid in my
bed and wandered where my brather was.
as I don' t have a microwave wen, but I do
have a clock that occasionally cooks **** .
5. I had a parrot, The parrot talked, but it
did not say "I' m hungry," so it died.
4. I adder the club sandwich all the time, but
I' m not even a member, man. I don' t know how
I get away with it,
3. I' d like to make a vending machine that
sells vending machines. It' d have to be real
******* big!
2. An escalator, can never' can only
become stairs. You would never' see an
Escalator, Temporarily Out Of Order" sign,
just "Escalator, Temporarily Stains, Sorry far
the convenience. We apologize far the fact
that you can still get up There."
1. On a Traffic light green means W and
yellow means yield, but an a banana it' s just
the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow
means w ahead, and red means where the
hell did you get that banana ...
beds: Theillestvillan (far giving me the
idea), and of causse Mitch friedberg.
Nam: 50 thumbs far mare, I found mare.
Second Now: If anyone has any ideas far
mare, please camment with a sample if
yaw doing a Comedian,
Bonus: Typing about a mare advanced
subject can get really ******** really
fast, Take the phrase 'black hale far
example. If you leave the 'L' out of either,
ward, it can TOTALLY change the
of a sentence,
Dedz: violinistbyspirit, website in
description,
...
+1562
Views: 61968
Favorited: 395
Submitted: 05/24/2011
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Comments(345):

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+2
#355 - UekiKousuke **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#352 - shaboogamoo (05/25/2011) [-]
Mitch Hedberg video = 5 thumbs....  some of his crappier quotes = front page  
  
Derp derp derp
Mitch Hedberg video = 5 thumbs.... some of his crappier quotes = front page

Derp derp derp
User avatar #346 - dirtynipples (05/25/2011) [-]
LOOOOL DIDNT READ
User avatar #345 - GrayStar (05/25/2011) [-]
If you guys want some more.

P.S. I'm not thumbwhoring, this post is old as **** so you can't even thumb it anymore, just trying to spread the love.

http://funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/1002689/One+Liner+King/
User avatar #344 - germanji (05/25/2011) [-]
capitalization is important too. it can be the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse or helping your uncle jack off a horse.
#351 to #344 - umadbru (05/25/2011) [-]
Punctuation not capitalization. You killed the joke.
Punctuation not capitalization. You killed the joke.
User avatar #356 to #351 - germanji (05/25/2011) [-]
go on. explain your reasoning.
User avatar #358 to #356 - umadbru (05/25/2011) [-]
One sentence is supposed to have a comma before and after Jack, while the other one doesn't.
User avatar #362 to #358 - germanji (05/26/2011) [-]
no jack is capitalized in one sentence and not in the other. no commas are needed because it interrupts the flow of the sentence.
+2
#343 - mackhiavelli **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #349 to #343 - jetjaguar (05/25/2011) [-]
Dude ive watched that special on netflix like four times, funniest **** i've ever seen.



WHAT ARE YOU? A FAG?!?!
#341 - sphincter (05/25/2011) [-]
The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire but i'm just not close enough to get the job done"
#350 to #341 - underu (05/25/2011) [-]
Or in German, "I want to werf some flammen all over that guy."
User avatar #340 - hezzian (05/25/2011) [-]
what does a clock do when it's hungry...?
it goes back four seconds!
0
#339 - drhoffable has deleted their comment [-]
0
#338 - drhoffable has deleted their comment [-]
0
#337 - drhoffable has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #336 - natedagreat (05/25/2011) [-]
i read all of these in the voice dane cook uses during crazy ass stories..
0
#335 - drhoffable has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #334 - personface (05/25/2011) [-]
Did you guys know I am an ice sculptor? I make cubes.
#333 - sportzdude (05/25/2011) [-]
lmao mitch hedburg is hilarious, my text signature is "listerine pisses off my mouth!"
User avatar #332 - thndrchckn (05/25/2011) [-]
These cannot be appreciated without Mitch Hedburg's stoner-voice. It makes them even funnier.
#330 - sphincter (05/25/2011) [-]
Have you noticed that most of the women who are against abortion are women you wouldn't want to **** in the first place? There's such a balance in nature.
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