Top 10 one liners Part 2. Part 4: Part 3:
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Top 10 one liners Part 2

Top 10
Par' T 2
10. I want to die peacefully in my sleep,
like my grandfather.. Nert screaming and
yelling like the passengers in his car.
9. Sex is mot the answer. Sex is the
question. "Yes" is the answer.
8. Politicians and diapers have one thing
in common. They should both be changed
regularly, and for the same reason.
Tthe early bird might get the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
6. Evening news is where they begin with
Good evening', and then proceed to tell
you why it isn' t.
5 God must love stupid people. He
made so many.
4. You do not need a parachute to
skydive. You only need a parachute To
skydive Twice.
3. H' s ntry the fall that kills you; it' s
the sudden stop trt the end.
2. Always borrow money from a
pessimist. He won' t expect it back.
1. You are such a good friend that if we
were on a sinking ship Together and
there was only one life jacket-. I' d miss
you heaps and think of you often.
Well, lets raise the bar this Time... 15
thumbs for more, C) and I get that these
aren' t very funny.
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#51 - LightningSaix **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#75 - Monzo (05/23/2011) [+] (2 replies)
Ever play Call of Duty?
#167 - thatmetalkid ONLINE (05/24/2011) [+] (9 replies)
I had a parrot. The parrot talked, but it did not say "I'm hungry," so it died.
User avatar #112 - njhahahahaha (05/23/2011) [+] (1 reply)
*Goes to facebook to make some of these my status*
#94 - lolzhi (05/23/2011) [+] (1 reply)
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#443 - cozaasy (05/24/2011) [-]
About the mouse one... it doesn't apply if you're this kind of mouse.
About the mouse one... it doesn't apply if you're this kind of mouse.
#375 - hooligun (05/24/2011) [+] (6 replies)
this is now my philosophy
#466 - shrike (05/24/2011) [+] (6 replies)
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User avatar #479 to #466 - fuckingtrolls (05/24/2011) [-]
there's a difference between didn't and cant
#66 - tunneyb **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #71 - sieve (05/23/2011) [+] (5 replies)
#152 - xxXDarkfireXxx (05/24/2011) [+] (6 replies)
*cough* he just searched oneliners on ******* google *cough*
Sorry I have a cold.
#536 - iheartfapping (05/24/2011) [+] (1 reply)
How can top 10 have a part 2? That means there's more than 10.
#395 - Justincredible (05/24/2011) [+] (7 replies)
Number 10 is ****** up, because thats really what happened to my grandpa. R.i.p grandpa and grandma
#401 to #399 - noblexfenrir (05/24/2011) [-]
It's a shame, should gotten grandma to stroke for him
#195 - ihatemushrroms (05/24/2011) [+] (1 reply)
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#198 to #195 - pieliker (05/24/2011) [-]
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User avatar #63 - TheIllestVillan (05/23/2011) [+] (5 replies)
"On a traffic light green means go and yellow means yield, but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means hold on, yellow means go ahead, and red means where the hell did you get that banana at..."

-Mitch Hedberg, King of One Liners. R.I.P dude...

#54 - sovietbacon (05/23/2011) [+] (1 reply)
User avatar #133 - coolfool (05/23/2011) [+] (2 replies)
This is one my dad told me :

"Here is undeniable proof that light travels faster than sound, some people may look bright, until you hear them speak!"

If you quote this, give dedz to my dad! :D
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