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User avatar #930 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i'm a Satanist...and this made me laugh my ass off :D
User avatar #1171 to #930 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Wouldn't let me respond to your last post so I'm responding here.

Okay, what's the point of any of that?
User avatar #1173 to #1171 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
THAT is you getting philosophical, and THAT is all in opinion. so i cannot properly answer you
User avatar #1177 to #1173 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
No no no no ******** . I put no opinion in there. That was a question. If you cannot answer that question, there is no purpose.
User avatar #1180 to #1177 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
no, right now your asking me the purpose of life. and no one knows why life is here. it's all in a matter of opinion.

i would ask you a question as a rebuttle, but you would only say "it has no purpose" and not give any rational explanation. or am i wrong? in such case "what is the purpose of water?"
User avatar #1183 to #1180 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
If you are saying I will continue supporting the idea I have been, you are correct. Bravo. You must be clairvoyant.
User avatar #1185 to #1183 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
you see, this is why you can't argue with a nihilist. because nothing gets solved

seeing that, once more...why are you even still arguing with me? are you that bored? can you not find a single thing to do other then make an ass out of yourself?
User avatar #1189 to #1185 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Yes, this is why you can't argue with a nihilist. They will stay with their points, as opposed to regular people, who will apparently switch sides mid-argument.

Why do you care? Ignorance and idiocy bother me
User avatar #1191 to #1189 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i'm staying with my point, are you saying i'm a nihilist as well?

but there is no point to knowledge, so why do ignorance and idiocy bother you?
User avatar #1194 to #1191 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
No, I just don't understand why you're upset that I remained constant in my argument.

Human flaw. You're still not giving me a reason water or the sun matter.
User avatar #1200 to #1194 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i'm not upset at that. i'm upset that you insist that you are right, you are smarter then me, and BETTER then me in general, even though you don't give any reason WHY you are. which is ridiculous

and your not giving me a reason as to why they don't, so i guess we're in the same boat, aren't we
User avatar #1202 to #1200 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Luls. No you definitely thought I was being ridiculous for sticking with my argument.

No. We begin assuming they don't have a purpose. To assume they begin having a purpose, we would have to have a purpose for them to begin with.
User avatar #1206 to #1202 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
oh, okay. well, since you apparently own full control over my opinions, why don't you tell me what i feel next, hmm?

and i gave you a purpose, a scientific one. so, you have to give me a scientific reason as to why they DON'T have a purpose
User avatar #1209 to #1206 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
If you're really gunna bitch about it that much I can go back and find your douchebaggery and quote you. Is that really necessary?

And I asked you what the purpose of those "purposes" was. If you can't answer that those "purposes" are purposeless
User avatar #1216 to #1209 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
yes, because you insist on continuing this argument, even though i'm the only one actually putting anything into it. and the purpose of life is because we were created through the big bang, ameba's, lower life-forms, evolution. same way you are alive because your mother and father had sex

there, thats the reason. now it's your turn to give why they DON'T have a meaning
User avatar #1221 to #1216 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
"i would ask you a question as a rebuttle, but you would only say 'it has no purpose' and not give any rational explanation. or am i wrong? in such case 'what is the purpose of water?'" There, faggot. You think I'm illogical for continuing with the same point I've been arguing. Suck me.

How is that even close to a purpose? Existing does not imply we have a purpose...
User avatar #1228 to #1221 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
you did nothing to prove me wrong. i said i would ask you a question, but you'd only say it has no meaning, then i said "or am i wrong?" meaning that you COULD indeed give me a reasonable answer (which you have yet to do). then i asked "what is the purpose of water?" as a question to you. right now (and then), i'm continuing the argument that things have purpose. and no, once again, i do not think your illogical for continuing with the same point, i DO think it's illogical not to give a reasonable explanation, however. do you not understand this?

and yes, it does, otherwise we would not be here in the first place. name something that exists, yet has no reason to be hear scientifically
User avatar #1230 to #1228 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
But there is not purpose of us being here. Jesus Christ. You are just hopelessly stupid. It's 6:30am. I'm giving up on your dumbass. Continue pretending you matter. Ignorant piece of **** . I'm going to sleep. Have fun worshiping a fake God your whole life.
User avatar #1235 to #1230 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
you don't know that. your getting philosophical again, and it's all just a matter of opinion. and now your giving up because your losing? shame, i would have thought you were better then that. seeing as how you keep calling me stupid, useless, and swearing at me. i would have expected me to give up long before you

guess i'm better then you, using your logic :D

also, you say "just because it has no reason doesn't mean i can't do it" as your reason for being on funnyjunk. so why don't you kill yourself? just because you have no reason to doesn't mean to can't, right?
User avatar #1071 to #930 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
List me a few Satanist beliefs
User avatar #1090 to #1071 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
Satanists frown upon animal abuse, spiritual abuse, weakness, and ignorance. we approve of IMPROVING yourself, free will, knowledge and wisdom, and even skepticism

Satanism has a history of welcoming people with open arms (including gays, and people of different belief's) which is more then a lot of christians can say, seeing how "homosexuality is an abomination" (also, if you DON'T kill gay people, your going against god, and that means he must put you to death as well).

we also approve of history (which is also more then a lot of christians can say, seeing as how in the past, they burned temples, books, and even people who had different belief's)

oh, AND we believe in equality, which is ALSO more then christianity can say
User avatar #1094 to #1090 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Ehhhh I'm not sure you're 100% Satanist. I think you're just a liberal that hates Christianity. For example, you seem to believe in Satan.
User avatar #1100 to #1094 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
this is a common misconception since "LeVayen Satanism". only LeVayen Satanism and Theistic Satanism (i think) use "Satan" as a metephore for bettering yourself, most others (i'm from the "Spiritual Satanism" sect) actually acknowledge Lord Satan as a real being, as well as other demons, angels, spirits, and heaven/hell
User avatar #1101 to #1100 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Nooope. Most Satanist believe the notion that any type of deity exists is ridiculous. Any religion that believes in Satan is just as stupid as Christianity.
User avatar #1105 to #1101 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
oh, i see, well seeing as how your religious knowledge and experience is FAR superior then mine, even though I've been a dedicated Satanist for many years now really changes my mind. guess i'm just some poor misguided fool. i'm gonna convert to Scientology now :D

(notice the extreme sarcasm?)

and no, they don't, because the whole POINT of Satanism is to make YOURSELF a god, or raise yourself up to that status at the very least. but of course you know more then i do, right? you've been a Satanist for how many years now?
#1112 to #1105 - anon (03/28/2011) [-]
While I enjoyed your quite hilarious turn around of the bible when talking to the christian, that doesn't prove that Satan exists. Nor does your extensive research on the matter. In order for Satan to exist, god must exist. Anyone who can use their brain to think logically (and hasn't been brainwashed since childhood to believe in logical fallacies) understands that the world wasn't created in 7 days. A single mythic being didn't create the entire universe. Miracles do not exist as they are referenced today, etc..
User avatar #1121 to #1112 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i'm not trying to prove Lord Satan exists. that is what faith is about, is it not? just like Atheists have faith that NO god exists. it's the same thing. and i do believe in god, but i never said i believed in his miracles. in fact, i like to think of god's as extra-terrestrial beings, rather then people of ultimate power.

haha, but if you wish to get scientific, i can do that too. you know the two energies that collided and created the universe? they were both negative. logically, that means they were supposed to miss each other completely. but they didn't, and THAT means SOMETHING must have interfered. i don't know what that thing is, but if it's powerful enough to do that, i'd rather not mess with it
User avatar #1106 to #1105 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
I'm not a Satanist. Satanism used to seem like a decent religion, but people like you seem to water it down. Besides, while what I found of Satanism seemed to be far more logical than most religions, it was still wrong. Affiliating with a religion is stupid anyways. It implies you don't create your own opinions.
User avatar #1109 to #1106 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
oh yes, i seem to water it down, how do i do that exactly?

okay, so if you believe that, then why are you even talking to me? this is meant to be a religious debate. you asked me our beliefs and i told you, you said most Satanists don't believe in a god and i corrected you, you tried to correct me and i corrected you again with a side of sarcasm

it sounds like your more butthurt then anything else.

besides, if you don't like any religions, start your own :P
User avatar #1111 to #1109 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Oh God so many problems there. I like how you feel such a misguided sense of self-importance based on your knowledge of a meaningless religion.

Sorry to abandon the topic, but quick question. Do you believe in God?
User avatar #1115 to #1111 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i don't feel self-important, i'm simply answering you based on what you say to me. in fact, your the one who seems to think your superior because your NOT part of a religion. yes, i do believe in god, if i didn't, it would be redundant to believe in Lord Satan

also, you didn't answer my question, nor my other one. nor did i say anything that would give you a right to say "i like how you feel such a misguided sense of self-importance". the only thing i did was corrected you, and i think i have a right to do that based upon my years IN Spiritual Satanism, as well as my years STUDYING Satanism in general
User avatar #1122 to #1115 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
The arrogance is overwhelming. People like you single-handedly force me to continue being a misanthrope day-in and day-out. There is seriously too much idiocy for me to respond to. Alright, here's one for you. I'm a nihilist. Tell me why anything has any purpose at all.
User avatar #1130 to #1122 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
.....how am i arrogant? you keep saying i am, but give no logical explanation as to WHY

everything has purpose because it is here. if nothing was supposed to be here, nothing WOULD be here. THATS logic

also...(i know your not going to respond to this, or say something about how i'm arrogant or misguided, but...) if you believed there was to much idiocy in my argument to respond to me...why did you? wouldn't that be "feeding the troll", by definition?
User avatar #1143 to #1130 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Yeah, you're a douchebag left and right and at 5am I'm too lazy to pick out all the examples. Sorry.

Lololololol. That's less logical than Christianity and Scientology combined. It "exists" therefore it has a purpose? How does that make any sense? Why does existing mean something has a purpose? There is absolutely no logic involved in that argument.

I ignored the idiocy and asked you a question I knew you couldn't answer well. I want you to question the illogical BS you seem to believe in, but you're clearly beyond redemption.
User avatar #1149 to #1143 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
your just making excuses now, and insulting me, which only makes YOU look bad

can you name anything that exists that DOESN'T have a reason to be here? until you can, stop thinking your smarter then me

more excuses. if you think i'm so stupid, why do you even talk to me?
User avatar #1151 to #1149 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Our other "conversations" are even more idiotic than they were at the start, so I'm gunna focus on our almost legitimate argument.

NOTHING HAS A REASON. Jesus. How are you not getting that? Honestly, I think nothing exists at all, but we can get to that after we cover the basics.
User avatar #1157 to #1151 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
i am getting that, just not as you see it. you see nothing has a reason, i see that YOU see nothing has a reason. just because you believe it, doesn't make it right. you BELIEVE nothing has a reason, thats your OPINION, opinions can be neither RIGHT NOR WRONG. and once again, you think i'm an idiot, that much is obvious. so if you think so, why not go and do something more productive with your time? like laundry? unless that doesn't have a reason.

when you say "nothing has a reason", your talking philosophically, not scientifically. and if your talking on a philosophical level, it's all in a matter of belief and opinion
User avatar #1159 to #1157 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
But it can be proven with logic. I don't care if it's philosophy, if logic proves it, it's correct. Give me 1 thing you think has a purpose.
User avatar #1166 to #1162 - biggestmaggot (03/28/2011) [-]
Alright, what is the sun's purpose?
User avatar #1169 to #1166 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
it gives light

it gives warmth

usually, living things need to stay above freezing level to live. so it contributes to the survival of all life on earth

it also gives light, which helps us see and operate. light is used by plants and flowers as food. plants clean out the soil, clean out the air, and act as food for animals. flowers clean out the soil, clean out the air, act as food for animals, and collect pollen, which is also used as food for many bugs and honey bee's to make honey, which is enjoyed my people around the globe
#976 to #930 - karloemb (03/28/2011) [-]
HAHA! hes laughing his ass off !
of you! ;)
User avatar #984 to #976 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
funny thing about that is, Satanism (and Lord Satan) approve of free will

while god doesn't let you into heaven if you don't worship him (and he's supposedly the good guy) :P
#1024 to #984 - anon (03/28/2011) [-]
Ya realize that God whooped Satan's ass and sent him to Hell because he opposed free will right? "Lord" Satan does not approve of free will he approves of you choosing to do stupid and/evil **** so he can make you gargle his mayonaise for all eternity. Because ya make it too easy.
User avatar #1047 to #1024 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
what would happen if she ate it. FURTHERMORE, because she was kept ignorant by god, she wouldn't have known what would have happened ANYWAYS. so they were kicked out of paradise for a mistake GOD made. second, when Lord Satan gave eve the apple, he said two things. "this apple will not kill you" and "this apple will make you more like god". it didn't kill her, and the bible even TELLS you to try and be more like god, because he's "perfect". so what exactly did Lord Satan do wrong? nothing. nor did adam or eve. in fact, christians calling Lord Satan a liar is FALSE, because he NEVER lied to adam or eve, or anyone else for that matter. don't mess with me dude, I've been in more religious arguments then you could count (and won them)
User avatar #1039 to #1024 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
no, Lord Satan got kicked out of heaven because he opposed GOD.

let's look at this logically, shall we?

in the BIBLE (the book Christians WORSHIP) it states that Lord Satan TRICKED eve into eating the apple of knowledge. lets look at this right here. the reason god didn't want them to eat the apple was because it contained all knowledge of the universe and ethics and morality, this means that they DIDN'T KNOW what right or wrong was, or how the choices they made affected things. IGNORANCE is what keeps a cult going, and god KEPT them ignorant by COMMANDING them not to eat the apple. now, Lord Satan comes in and TRICKS eve into eating it. seeing as how "trick" implies the person being tricked didn't know what would happen, eve didn't know
User avatar #1008 to #984 - karloemb (03/28/2011) [-]
sus padres dejaron que usted hiciera absolutamente todo lo que quiso mientras lo cuidaron?

google translation (sorry)

your parents let you do everything you wanted when they cared for you?
absolutely everything?
User avatar #1018 to #1008 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
no, but they wouldn't throw me out of the house and light me on fire, either

if you want, i can show you every tiny bit of evidence that states how Lord Satan is better then god. be prepared for a lot of reading though. if you DON'T want that, just take my word for it
User avatar #1032 to #1018 - karloemb (03/28/2011) [-]
well... for a discussion must be prepared before.. send it !
HEY !! and you have to be prepared for a lot of reading too.. the bible..!
User avatar #1084 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
while christians, catholics, mormans and such, all have a history of DESTROYING history. such as ruins of ancient gods, temples, books. anything that opposes their own belief's, really :P

all right

your turn :D
User avatar #1080 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
all that being said about god, Lord Satan must have done some TERRIBLE things to be the "evil" one, correct? well lets see, he opposed god. he gave eve the apple of knowledge (which led to free will), and taunted jesus, oh, AND he makes evil people suffer...

i'm sorry, how does any of that reflect poorly on him? in fact, i'd say that kinda makes him the GOOD guy, considering what god's done

Satanism has been one of the most open and accepting religions out there (there are some bad sects, don't get me wrong). Satanism also frowns upon abuse to animals, abuse to spirits, ignorance, and weakness. it also acts as a safeguard to history, because Satanists respect all forms of knowledge, and thus KEEP all relics of the past.
User avatar #1072 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
Hosea 13 states that all Sumerian's are to be put to death for disobeying god (for the crime of one woman, i might add. because she disobeyed god)
Numbers 31 states that every town of people who have disobeyed god shall all die, except virgin women (who become slaves)

also, in the whole bible, god himself kills around 10,000+ people. while Lord Satan only kills around 10

christians have caused some of the biggest blood baths in history. the Crusades (killed millions), Salem witch hunts (thousands of innocent women burned), and the Spanish inquisition (millions of men, women, and children to death)

christianity (and most branches of it) have a history of being VERY closed minded, and VERY judgmental
User avatar #1065 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
Matthew 18:7-9 states that if you sin of the flesh, you must cut off that body part and throw it away. or you get burned alive
1 Corinthians 14 states that women are to be seen and NOT heard in churches
1 Tim 2 states that a woman must be quiet and learn with submissiveness, and they are not allowed to teach or have authority over men
Exodus 21:20 states that it is okay to beat your slaves as long as they don't die
Titus 2:9 states that every slave is to show complete submissiveness
Isaiah 13 states that any slave who escapes shall be put to death, but first, their children shall be killed right before their eyes
User avatar #1062 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
Isaiah 40:8 states that god's word is the ONLY word and we may NEVER disobey it
Psalm 19:7 states that the law of the lord is PERFECT
first commandment: thou shalt have no other god's before me
(if anyone does do this, you must take them outside your town and stone them to death. Deut: 17:2-7)
Deut:13:13-9 states that ANYONE who disobeys the laws of the lord must have their town destroyed, as well as their livestock and buildings
Lev. 24:16 states that anyone who blasphemies the lord must be put to death (by stoning)
Lev. 20:9 states that all who disobey their mother or father must be put to death
Lev. 20:10 states that anyone who cheats on their spouse must be put to death
Lev. 20:13 states that homosexuals must be put to death
User avatar #1060 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
Lev. 19:27. states that people who trim their hair around their temples shall be put to death
Lev. 11:6-8 states that touching the skin of a dead pig is a sin and makes you unclean
Lev. 19:19 states that it is a sin to both plant more then one crop in your field, and wear clothes with 2 different kind's of thread
Lev.24:10-16. states that the proper way to execute a sinner is to bury them neck deep in the ground and pelt them with stones until dead
Lev. 20:14 states that it is a sin to have sexual relations with in laws, and is punishable by death (burning)
Lev. 18:22 states that homosexuality an abomination upon mankind and unto the lord, and all homosexuals should be put to death
User avatar #1056 to #1032 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
all this information comes from the old testament, the ORIGINAL "word of god"

Lev.1:9. states that you should burn a bull on the alter of sacrifice, as the odor is pleasing to thy lord. anyone who objects is smitten
Exodus 21:7. states that it is acceptable to sell your daughter into slavery
Lev.15:19- 24. states that it is a sin to have contact with a women on her menstrual cycle
Lev. 25:44 states that you may possesses slaves of a foreign country
Exodus 35:2 states that anyone working on the sabbath (sunday) shall be put to death
Lev. 11:10 states that eating shellfish is an abomination
Lev. 21:20 states that it is a sin to approach the alter of god if you have defect in your sight
User avatar #975 to #930 - captainfuckitall (03/28/2011) [-]
you see, if i said "i'm a Christian...and this made me laugh my ass off" it probably wouldn't get minus 4 thumbs :P
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