The European Commission have just
announced an agreement whereby English will
be the aofficial language of the EU rather than
German, which was the ether possibility. As part
of the negotiations, Her Majesty' s govt
conceded that English spelling had some room
for improvement and has accepted a 5 year
phase in plan that would be known as
In the first year, "s" will replace
the soft "c".. Certainly, this will make the sivil
servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be
dropped in favor of the "k". This should clear up
konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the
sekond year, when the troublesome "" will be
replaced with the "f". This will make words like
fotograf" 20% shorter. In the rrd year, publik
acceptance of the new spelling kan be
to reach the stage where more complicated
changes are possible. Governments will
encorage the removal of double letters, which
have always ben a deterent to acurate speling.
Also, wil agre that the
horible mes of the silent "e"' s in the language is
disgraceful, and they should go away. By the tth
yar, peopl wil be to steps such as
replacing "" with "z" and "w" with "v". During
fifa year, unecesary "o" kan be dropd from
vords "" and similar changes vud
of kors be appid to ezer combinations of leters.
After zis We yer, vil hav a reli sensual riden
styl. Zer vil be no mm truble or and
evrywun vil find it ezi understand ech ezer.