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Anti Jokes Part 2

Thanks for my first post to get 2000+ thumbs and 1000+ favorites!<br />
I love you guys<br />
1000th Comment Get's something special

Anti Jokes
Part 2
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Get in the van
What did the homeless man
get for Christmas?
Nothing.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
Three head lice are drinking
beer on someone' s scalp.
They are then killed by high
strength medical shampoo
Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I
have a fever!
That' s the least of your
worries, you' got AIDS.
A man walks into a bar and
orders 6 shots. The bartender
says "rough day, eh?" The
man replies "yeah, very rough.
He then goes home and
hangs himself.
What is a Vampire' s favourite dessert?
Vampires aren' t real.
How did the fat guy survive
the plane crash?
He didn' t, he died like
everyone else.
What' s red and smells like
green paint?
Red paint.
Why did the chicken commit
suicide?
To get to the other side.
Knock Knock
Who' s there?
Tom
Tom who?
Tom breaks down into tears
as his mother' s alzheimers is
getting so bad that she
doesnt even recognize him.
Why did the waiter put rubber
bands in the soup?
Because he is retarded and
doesn' t even work at the
restauraunt.
for more!
If you want in the third Anti
Jokes, post them in the comments and
I' ll try to get most of them in.
Thesodacan
...
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Comments(1061):

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#335 - Poor (02/06/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hand over the piss
Or I will kill you
#44 - carnivoroushippy (02/06/2011) [+] (10 replies)
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Pic unrelated
User avatar #120 - freakaleak (02/06/2011) [+] (6 replies)
Roses are grey
Violets are grey
Because Im colorblind.
#663 - FJassassin (02/06/2011) [-]
Roses are grey
Violets are grey
Being color Blind
******* SUCKS!
#322 - Nerrrd ONLINE (02/06/2011) [-]
A man came into a bar.
Wait, no, it was a horse.
So a man came into a horse...
#54 - mnieh (02/06/2011) [-]
A man jumped off a tall building ad survived...
...until he hit the ground.
#403 - RoflNuggets (02/06/2011) [-]
Knock Knock.

Who's there?

Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.
+23
#780 - lolomghaharofl **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#166 - freefan (02/06/2011) [+] (2 replies)
But...I did survive the plane crash...
User avatar #807 - CaptainAwesome (02/06/2011) [-]
A cockroach and a beetle walk into a bar...


The health inspector sees this and shuts down the bar until further notice.


#660 - Ohaithar (02/06/2011) [+] (1 reply)
*Knock Knock*
*come in*
#805 - TheHolyRabbit (02/06/2011) [-]
What about the fat guy dying in the plane crash?
+19
#677 - tonightyoudinealon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#609 - aeroxotl (02/06/2011) [+] (4 replies)
How many PETA members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because PETA can't change anything.
#247 - AnObeseCat (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he suffered from a rare brain disease called Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis and then proceeded to have long painful seizures until death.
#136 - thinkle (02/06/2011) [-]
there's a jew, a black, and an asian standing on the sidewalk   
what a nice example of a well- intergrated community
there's a jew, a black, and an asian standing on the sidewalk
what a nice example of a well- intergrated community
#793 - PrincessSparrow (02/06/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #41 - TheAngryMuffin (02/06/2011) [-]
How many jews does it take to change a light bulb?

Two, one to change it and the other to hold the ladder so the first man won't fall and hurt himself.
User avatar #387 - MysticTomatoe (02/06/2011) [-]
whats better than winning the special olympics?


not being retarded
User avatar #230 - sookmaybowls (02/06/2011) [+] (2 replies)
how do you fit 6 million jews in a car?


you can't it's phyisically impossible, dumbass
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