Anti Jokes Part 2. Thanks for my first post to get 2000+ thumbs and 1000+ favorites!<br /> I love you guys<br /> 1000th Comment Get's something spec
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Anti Jokes Part 2

Anti Jokes Part 2. Thanks for my first post to get 2000+ thumbs and 1000+ favorites!<br /> I love you guys<br /> 1000th Comment Get's something spec

Thanks for my first post to get 2000+ thumbs and 1000+ favorites!<br />
I love you guys<br />
1000th Comment Get's something special

Anti Jokes
Part 2
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I have a gun
Get in the van
What did the homeless man
get for Christmas?
Nothing.
How do you make a plumber cry?
You kill his family.
Three head lice are drinking
beer on someone' s scalp.
They are then killed by high
strength medical shampoo
Doctor, Doctor! I feel like I
have a fever!
That' s the least of your
worries, you' got AIDS.
A man walks into a bar and
orders 6 shots. The bartender
says "rough day, eh?" The
man replies "yeah, very rough.
He then goes home and
hangs himself.
What is a Vampire' s favourite dessert?
Vampires aren' t real.
How did the fat guy survive
the plane crash?
He didn' t, he died like
everyone else.
What' s red and smells like
green paint?
Red paint.
Why did the chicken commit
suicide?
To get to the other side.
Knock Knock
Who' s there?
Tom
Tom who?
Tom breaks down into tears
as his mother' s alzheimers is
getting so bad that she
doesnt even recognize him.
Why did the waiter put rubber
bands in the soup?
Because he is retarded and
doesn' t even work at the
restauraunt.
for more!
If you want in the third Anti
Jokes, post them in the comments and
I' ll try to get most of them in.
Thesodacan
...
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Views: 79365
Favorited: 1160
Submitted: 02/05/2011
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Comments(1061):

[ 1061 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #120 - freakaleak (02/06/2011) [-]
Roses are grey
Violets are grey
Because Im colorblind.
#140 to #120 - gavoman (02/06/2011) [-]
Stolen from WoW
#144 to #140 - freakaleak (02/06/2011) [-]
Actually it was told to me by one of my friends.
#223 to #144 - gavoman (02/06/2011) [-]
Who heard it on a game. So it was


Stolen from WoW
+1
#637 to #223 - thegriff **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #124 to #120 - doomfish (02/06/2011) [-]
are you undead?
#322 - Nerrrd (02/06/2011) [-]
A man came into a bar.
Wait, no, it was a horse.
So a man came into a horse...
#151 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
knock knock

come in
#54 - mnieh ONLINE (02/06/2011) [-]
A man jumped off a tall building ad survived...
...until he hit the ground.
#44 - carnivoroushippy (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because it was dead.

Pic unrelated
#190 to #44 - CarbonSpikernew (02/06/2011) [-]
That joke was on The Proud Family
#238 to #190 - carnivoroushippy (02/06/2011) [-]
really? damn
#55 to #44 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

it was stapled to the first monkey
#67 to #55 - MarioBrotha (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the third monkey fall off?

Peer pressure
+9
#259 to #67 - BlueWaffles **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #390 to #259 - zelyx (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the fifth monkey fall off the tree?

It thought it was a game
-5
#559 to #390 - CorporationCat has deleted their comment [-]
#632 to #559 - tombrady (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the 6th monkey die?

I killed the ************
User avatar #1044 to #632 - Nickish (02/06/2011) [-]
And the doctor said "No more monkeys jumping on the bed!"
User avatar #884 to #632 - bannon (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the plane crash?

There was a monkey flying it
User avatar #807 - CaptainAwesome (02/06/2011) [-]
A cockroach and a beetle walk into a bar...


The health inspector sees this and shuts down the bar until further notice.


+23
#780 - lolomghaharofl **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#660 - Ohaithar (02/06/2011) [-]
*Knock Knock*
*come in*
#692 to #660 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
#166 - freefan (02/06/2011) [-]
But...I did survive the plane crash...
#185 to #166 - pepismax (02/06/2011) [-]
They were all dead anyway
#805 - TheHolyRabbit (02/06/2011) [-]
What about the fat guy dying in the plane crash?
+19
#677 - tonightyoudinealon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#609 - aeroxotl (02/06/2011) [-]
How many PETA members does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because PETA can't change anything.
#614 to #609 - swimteampie (02/06/2011) [-]
No, you're thinking of FEMA.
#621 to #614 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
I still got blue tarps from Katrina
#616 to #614 - aeroxotl (02/06/2011) [-]
Both.
Both.
#615 to #609 - homesliceg (02/06/2011) [-]
I don't get it.
#335 - Poor (02/06/2011) [-]
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Hand over the piss
Or I will kill you
#344 to #335 - jacksdiner (02/06/2011) [-]
Here's another one.
#247 - AnObeseCat (02/06/2011) [-]
Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

Because he suffered from a rare brain disease called Acute Disseminated Encephalomyelitis and then proceeded to have long painful seizures until death.
#136 - thinkle (02/06/2011) [-]
there's a jew, a black, and an asian standing on the sidewalk   
what a nice example of a well- intergrated community
there's a jew, a black, and an asian standing on the sidewalk
what a nice example of a well- intergrated community
#793 - PrincessSparrow (02/06/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#1000 - fenders (02/06/2011) [-]
what do i win?
#1013 to #1000 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
***** I mad.
#1046 to #1013 - Bourky (02/06/2011) [-]
You're an anon :) It wouldn't have counted anyway ^_^
#1015 to #1000 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
NOTHING!
#1018 to #1000 - TheInsaneCookie (02/06/2011) [-]
Yes,you win a circumcision  
  
the tables have turned
Yes,you win a circumcision

the tables have turned
#1025 to #1018 - fenders (02/06/2011) [-]
Too bad I already have 2 circumcisions
#1031 to #1025 - TheInsaneCookie (02/06/2011) [-]
LOL ...wait ...wut
#1035 to #1031 - fenders (02/06/2011) [-]
I have had 2 circumcisions which has caused a great deformity. But at least it is still long.
#1011 to #1000 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
this picture
#1014 to #1011 - fenders (02/06/2011) [-]
Sweet! it is just what I wanted!
+2
#1033 to #1000 - TheSodaCan **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#1038 to #1033 - fenders (02/06/2011) [-]
can it be a shamwow?
#689 - newtoast (02/06/2011) [-]
a horse walks into a bar and asks for a grey goose on the rocks.
the bartender realizes how silly this is and wakes up from his dream.
he nudges his wife to tell her about his weird dream, but she ignores him and goes back to sleep.
he then starts crying, realizing his marriage is in shambles.
User avatar #691 to #689 - NorthAmerica (02/06/2011) [-]
thats beast :D
#700 to #691 - newtoast (02/06/2011) [-]
i actually got this joke from some post on here a long time ago.
just saying that cause there's gonna be some serious faggotry about it later, probably
User avatar #702 to #700 - NorthAmerica (02/06/2011) [-]
oh ok. yeah i was like "this jokes seems to well-put together to have been made up on the spot.
#703 to #702 - newtoast (02/06/2011) [-]
what about like..

two muffins are baking in an oven.
one muffin turns to the other and says nothing.
because muffins can't talk.
User avatar #712 to #703 - NorthAmerica (02/06/2011) [-]
haha thats preety good too. how about:

A man says good morning to his dog laying on the ground.
For a second he thought his dog was dead, but it turns out he wasn't because the dog soon began barking, "SHH you damn dog" says the man, but the dog wouldn't stop, so the man goes into his kitchen to grab some coffee. Inside the kitchen is the body of the man. Next to the body of the dog.

:D
#717 to #712 - newtoast (02/06/2011) [-]
hahaha,

michael j fox walks into a bar.
the bartender says, "what'll it be today mr fox?"
fox replies, "doesn't matter, im just going to drop it anyway"
User avatar #719 to #717 - NorthAmerica (02/06/2011) [-]
haha wow. that seems slightly ****** up.
#722 to #719 - newtoast (02/06/2011) [-]
ftw
User avatar #330 - seratyo ONLINE (02/06/2011) [-]
Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says "Why the long face"
Horse replies "My brother just died...




Also I am A Horse"
User avatar #545 to #330 - lonerebel (02/06/2011) [-]
"Actually, I'm a broom."
#337 to #330 - anon (02/06/2011) [-]
Horse walks into a bar
Bartender says "Why the long face"
Horse replies "My brother just died...




Also I am Sarah Jessica Parker"
User avatar #230 - sookmaybowls (02/06/2011) [-]
how do you fit 6 million jews in a car?


you can't it's phyisically impossible, dumbass
#236 to #230 - hakuoftehdance (02/06/2011) [-]
...I disagree my good sir, you burn them in an oven... the ashes should fit if you stuff them correctly
[ 1061 comments ]
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