Uncle Bob. Cool, front page. =]. The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The
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Uncle Bob

Cool, front page. =]

The teacher gave her fifth grade
class an assignment: get their
parents to tell them a story with
a moral at the end of it. The next
day the kids came back and one
by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father' s a
farmer and we have a lot of egg-
laying hens. One time we were
taking our eggs to market in a
basket on the front seat of the
pickup when we hit a bump in
the road and all the eggs went
flying and broke and made a
mess."
And what' s the moral of the
story?" asked the teacher.
Don' t put all your eggs in one
basket!"
Very good," said the teacher.
Now, Lucy?"
Our family are farmers too.
But we raise chickens for the
meat market. We had a dozen
eggs one time, but when they
hatched we only got ten live
chicks. And the moral to this
story is, don' t count your
chickens until they' re hatched."
That was a fine story Lucy.
Johnny, do you have a story to
share?"
Yes, ma' am, my daddy told
me this story about my uncle
Bob. Uncle Bob was a Green
Beret in Vietnam and his
helicopter got hit. He had to
crash land in enemy territory and
all he had was a bottle of
whiskey, a machine gun and a
machete. He drank the whiskey
on the way down so it wouldn' t
break and then he landed right in
the middle of 100 enemy troops.
He killed seventy of them with
the machine gun until he ran out
of bullets, then he killed twenty
more with the machete till the
blade broke and then he killed
the last ten with his bare hands."
Good heavens," said the
horrified teacher, "What kind of
moral did your daddy tell you
from that horrible story?"
Don' t **** with Uncle Bob
when he' s been drinking."
...

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#4 - squeaky (01/09/2011) [-]
< Uncle Bob
#5 - unideer (01/09/2011) [+] (1 reply)
<<<<<<< Johnny's Uncle

I killed them all, Johnny

I killed them all.
#27 - ahmer (01/10/2011) [+] (2 replies)
that damn Uncle Bob got a 100 killstreak
#136 - lincolnparkrapist (01/10/2011) [-]
Uncle Bob

<-------
#179 - TheShortbusDriver (01/10/2011) [+] (5 replies)
Worst "Nam" stories to hear from your uncle.
#131 - xDMICHAELxD (01/10/2011) [-]
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks &quot;Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?&quot;.  
His teacher replies &quot;NO&quot;  
Johnny moans and says &quot;But my mummy lets me&quot;.  
&quot;OK then, just for tonight&quot; the teacher replies.  
Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks &quot;Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger&quot;.  
She again says &quot;NO&quot;.  
&quot;But my mummy lets me&quot; says Johnny again.  
&quot;Well I suppose it's OK&quot; replies the teacher.  
Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming &quot;THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON&quot;  
Little Johnny replies &quot;It aint my finger either&quot;.
One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you tonight ?".
His teacher replies "NO"
Johnny moans and says "But my mummy lets me".
"OK then, just for tonight" the teacher replies.
Johnny jumps into bed with her and asks "Miss can I please play with your belly button with my finger".
She again says "NO".
"But my mummy lets me" says Johnny again.
"Well I suppose it's OK" replies the teacher.
Things are silent for a few minutes until the teacher leaps up screaming "THAT'S NOT MY BELLY BUTTON"
Little Johnny replies "It aint my finger either".
#171 - umopapisdn (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
aww... i thought i was gonna get to do my walk...
User avatar #80 - BrokenXbox (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
this is ****** awesome, i spent all week with some nam vets and, i heard some very heartfelt stories. just made me think, and just want to take a minute to thank all the men and women who served in the armed forces

all gave some,
some gave all.
#12 - bluebeard (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Uncle Bob is one of my aliases.
#22 - cavalessandro (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
#39 - skittlezzyfz (01/10/2011) [+] (5 replies)
I like helicopters
#3 - avengesevensuns **User deleted account** (01/09/2011) [-]
Comment Picture
#96 - Mcnichs (01/10/2011) [-]
<-------Uncle Bob
#101 - scroteyoats (01/10/2011) [+] (2 replies)
don't 						****					 with lieutenant dan when hes had both legs cut off
don't **** with lieutenant dan when hes had both legs cut off
#233 - rainydog ONLINE (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
Uncle &quot;Chuck&quot; Bob
Uncle "Chuck" Bob
#11 - westly (01/10/2011) [-]
kill 100 enemy troops while drunk...
#196 - dhruv (01/10/2011) [-]
...I learned that the hard way
...I learned that the hard way
#62 - nuuuuuuuuu (01/10/2011) [+] (3 replies)
but he couldve broken the bottle of whisky after he drank it and used it as a weapon after his machete broke
User avatar #107 - AngelPwnz (01/10/2011) [+] (1 reply)
My uncles name is Bob
I am proud
User avatar #115 to #109 - Nekatroz (01/10/2011) [-]
My neighbor wife is named Bob, I'm shocked
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