Dark Jokes. Some credit to sickipedia.org.<br /> HOLY ! FRONT PAGE! I JUST JIZZED OVER MY KEYBOARD! THANKYOU!. Theepictroll I got fired from my job as a t

Dark Jokes

Some credit to sickipedia.org.<br />

I got fired from my job as a train station announcer yesterday.
All I said was "If anyone has lost a small child, he has been found on platforms 3, 4 and 5."
I was following a young girl down a dark alley last night.
She suddenly noticed me behind her, so I said,
Dona worry, Tm not a rapist, Tm just walking home"
That‘ s what a rapist would say." she replied.
Turned out it was.
I saw a poor old lady fall unconscious in the snow today.
Well Tm assuming she was poor, she only had in her purse.
That‘ s all for today. Keep being
awesome. Feedback appreciated.
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Views: 54492
Favorited: 547
Submitted: 12/10/2010
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#148 - VelvetQ (12/11/2010) [+] (1 reply)
I was walking with a girl in the woods the other day. She said the woods are scary and she was frightened.

I said "You think you're scared? I have to walk back to the car by myself"
#124 - jaybwell **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (3 replies)
#30 - WINmadeofFAIL (12/11/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Rorschack would find this funny
User avatar #68 - lifealert (12/11/2010) [-]
Go to a paintball fight. Bring dye packs from the bank. Remote detonation. Kaboom!
(also the paint lasts for quite a while)
User avatar #35 - WillWalrus (12/11/2010) [+] (2 replies)
This guy is really horny, but all he has is two dollars. He goes to the nearest whore house and says to the man working there, "Look, I`m really horny, but all I have is two dollars. What can I get?"
"Well, the cheapest we have is one hundred dollars. But I`ll cut you a deal on two conditions. For two dollars, I`ll let you go down two doors on the right, but you have to wear a black condom, and leave the lights out!"

"A while later he comes back out and says "Well, the sex was pretty good but why did I have to wear the black condom?"

"You gotta show some respect for the dead!"
#181 - EpicRandomnes **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (1 reply)
#186 to #181 - swiggee (12/11/2010) [-]
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User avatar #215 - theflyingmonkey (12/11/2010) [-]
whats the difference between a sack of dead babies and a Lamborghini?

I dont have a Lamborghini in my garage.

what's worse than 10 dead babies tied to one tree?

1 dead baby tied to 10 trees.
User avatar #151 - potatomonkeys (12/11/2010) [+] (1 reply)
Epileptic Santa:

"He seizures when hes sleeping"


Why did the girl fall off the swing?

Because she had no arms.
#164 - Griketwentyten (12/11/2010) [+] (1 reply)
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#75 - Kelsenial ONLINE (12/11/2010) [+] (1 reply)
The only thing worse than ten babies in a dumpster is one baby in ten dumpsters
User avatar #18 - readyforrebirth (12/11/2010) [-]
"were gonna have sex tonight."
"why do you think that?"
"because im stronger than you."
User avatar #167 - TATTYBOJANGLES (12/11/2010) [-]
jokes from sickipedia are not meant for funnyjunk......there made for sickipedia.... and facebook statuses.... and tweets... and text messages..... and conversation.... you know what, just put them on funnyjunk
#49 - AsianInsomniac **User deleted account** (12/11/2010) [+] (2 replies)
When vitamin water is clear and three deserted islands have a treasure on them, how many tacos will it take to feed a 4000 pound irishman?

-400 because only chuck norris can divide by zero
#52 to #49 - zackryfbaby (12/11/2010) [-]
#179 - Mcchrolo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [+] (2 replies)
User avatar #243 - chaosbrae (12/11/2010) [-]

what do you do when you see a baby with half a face? stop laughing and reload.

whats the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? i don't have a ferrari in my garage.

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline? i have to take off my boots to jump on a trampoline.

how do you save a baby from drowning? a harpoon.
#225 - glade (12/11/2010) [+] (4 replies)
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#78 - AllenIverson (12/11/2010) [+] (2 replies)
Whats the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
I take my boots off when i jump on a trampoline

#29 - Hamboyten **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#11 - Vantum (12/11/2010) [-]
I was all like...
I was all like...
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