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These Questions were posted an an Australian Tourism Website and the
answers are the actual responses by the website officials, who
obviously have a great sense (not ta mention a law
tolerance threshold liar cretins!)
tts Q: [mes it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it rain an
TN, how do the plants grow? ( UK I
tts A: We import all plants Fully grown and then just sit around watching I
tts Q: Will I be able to see Kangaroos in the street? t USA )
tts A: legends how much yau' been drinking.
tts Q: 1 want to walk train Perth ta Sydney - can I Fallow the railroad
tracks? ( Sweden)
tts A: Sure, it' s only three thousand miles, take lots at water,
tts Q: Are there any Aln/ Is, (cash machines) in Australia ? Can you send
me a list ofthem in Brisbane. Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay ?
tts A: What did your last slave die
tts Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia ? t USA)
3* A: is the big triangle shaped continent south of lolrape.
3* is that big island in the middle if the Pacific which does
not FII Oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in
Kings Cross, Come naked.
tts Q: Which direction is North in Australia ? (USA)
tts A: Face south and then tum 180 degrees. Contact us when you get
here and we' ll send the rest ortho directions,
3* Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia ? t UK )
tts AN/ ? Just use your fingers like we dc...
tts Q: Can you send me the Vienna Hays’ Choir schedule? t USA )
3* A: is that quaint little country bordering , which
is III Oh ferget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Kings Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
3* Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? t UK )
3* A: You area British politician, right?
tts Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )
tts A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of' vegan hunter/ gatherers,
tts Milk is illegal.
tts Q: Please send a list Mall doctors in Dispense
rattlesnake serum. ( USA I
tts A: Rattlesnakes live in which is where YOU came from,
tts All A autralian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled
and make good pets.
tts Q: 1 have a question about a Famous animal in Australia , but I target
its name. Its a kind at bear and lives in trees. (LISA)
tts A: It' s called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they drop out all
tts You can scare them o ff by spraying yourself with human urine before:
tts Q: 1 have developed a new product that is the fountain .
Can yau tell me where I can sell it in Australia ? (USA)
tts A: Anywhere significant numbers gather.
tts Q: lho you celebrate Christmas in Australia ? (France )
tts A: Only at Christmas.
tts Q: Will I be able to speak English mast places I gift Ufia)
tts A: Yes, but have ta learn it first