MEN AND WOMEN. . You knew that beek Men are trom Mars, Wemen trom Venus? Well, here' s a prime example that. This assignment was actually turned in try two of m kill kyle
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MEN AND WOMEN

Tags: kill kyle
You knew that beek Men are trom Mars, Wemen trom Venus? Well, here' s a prime example
that. This assignment was actually turned in try two of my English students: F! ejecta (last
name deleted] and Gary (last name deleted).
First, the Assignment:
English
SMU
Creative Writing
Prof. Miller
Assignment for Wednesday:
Today we will experiment with a new ferm called the tandem story. The process is simple.
Each persin will pair oft with the persin sitting to his er her immediate right. Cine you will
then write the turst paragraph a short story. The partner will read the turst paragraph and
then add another paragraph to the story. The turst person will then add a third paragraph,
and en back and few. Remember to rebread what has been written each time in order to
keep the story coherent. The story is ever when beth agree a conclusion has been reached.
And now, the Assignment as submitted by Rebecca & Gary:
F! ejecta starts:
At turst, Laurie couldn' t decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be
her favourite fer lazy evenings at home, now reminded her tee much of Carl, whe once said,
in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all cysts, keep her
mind oft Carl. His possessiveness was sufficating, and if she thought abaut him tee much
her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out m the question.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over
Skylon 4, had more important things to think abaut than the neuroses an bareheaded,
asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night ever a year age.
AS. Harris to 17," he said into his transatlantic communicator. "Pelaa orbit
established. No sign resistance so far..." But befire he cerld sign oft, a bluish particle
beam flashed out newhere and blasted a hole through his ship' s cargo bay. The Jolt trom
the direct hit sent him flying out his seat and acre's the cockpit.
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but net befire he felt one
last pang of regret tor psychologically brutalising the ene woman whe had
ever had feelings fer him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless
hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4.
Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel",
Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited
her and bared her. She stared out the window, dreaming her youth ""
when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to
read, no television to distract her trom her sense of innocent wonder at
all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lese one' s innocence to
became a weman?" she pondered wistfully.
Gary:
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands miles above the
city, the Anu' Adrian mothership launched the turst of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-
witted, wimpy whe pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through
Congress had left Earth a defenceless target fer the hostile alien empires whe were
determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage the treaty, the
Anu' Adrian ships were on course fer Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverise the
entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan.
The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his tep-
secret mobile submarine headquarters on the wean aloot" eff the cehst Guam, felt the
massive explosion which vaporised Laurie and 85 million other Americans.
The President slammed his llst en the conference table. "We can' t allow this! I' m going to
veto that treaty! Let' s blew 'ern out the sky!"
F! ejecta:
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery literature. My writing partner is a violent,
chauvinistic, adolescent.
Gary:
Yeah? Well, yeu' re a , tedious neuritic whise attempts at writing are the literary
equivalent Valium.
Asshole.
Gary: Bitch.
...
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Views: 40813
Favorited: 65
Submitted: 12/07/2009
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Comments(203):

[ 203 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#33 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
LOL gary...

pondering over tea is for the weak!
#25 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
its like stephenie meyer vs tom clancy.
#176 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Holy crap, Rebecca is a good writer, but it's so freaking boring >.<... Gary's was so much better: "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" Laurie pondered wistfully....Little did she know, she had less than 10 seconds to live.

GO GARY!
#103 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
now i wana know how it ends
#120 to #103 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
a sammich was made by rebecca and given to gary, almost immediatly afterward rebecca was killed by a lithium fusion missile
#83 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Aliens are way more exciting to read about than some chick and her drama, we have drama in real life, we don't have aliens now do we.
User avatar #132 to #83 - Shiny (12/08/2009) [-]
And thus, Syfy Channel gets over 9000 times as many views as Lifetime.
#108 to #83 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Ya damn right.
User avatar #91 to #83 - cyborgjunky (12/08/2009) [-]
not unless your a scientologist!
#94 to #91 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
:l omg.................................LOL LMAO ROFL
#117 to #91 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
they ARE aliens
User avatar #114 - kezdak (12/08/2009) [-]
gary deserves a medal and a sammich made by rebecca.
#101 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
I thought it was pretty badass!!
User avatar #71 - Ruler (12/08/2009) [-]
Christ, I was starting to get into Gary's story.
#84 to #71 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
rofl me too.and i still dont know wtf that bitch was writing about...tea and growing up GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
#123 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Gary's way better.
User avatar #104 - CrazyWhiteGurl (12/08/2009) [-]
Any girl who writes sh*t like that should be slapped in the face... it reminded me of that retarded Twilight drabble.
User avatar #206 to #104 - cyborgjunky (12/02/2013) [-]
I want to read more of Gary's stuff
#80 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Rebbeca sounds like a total boner killer. captcha: rival
#19 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Although I suppose the contrast in the two stories is moderately amusing, Rebecca's opening paragraph for the joint story is absolutely hilarious. She starts out describing how Laurie's camomile tea reminded her of her ex-boyfriend who like camomile tea. What can you say - a career path in writing is probably not in this woman's future.
#50 to #19 - Messengerman (12/08/2009) [-]
eh she could right them stupid books like my gf is always reading
#11 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
tbh gary is a reli good writer
User avatar #24 to #11 - Sonos (12/08/2009) [-]
i know rite? i wanna hear more about this war
User avatar #92 - Shiny (12/08/2009) [-]
Gary's story was actually pretty damn good. I want more.
User avatar #205 to #92 - cyborgjunky (12/02/2013) [-]
Shame they still haven't updated. It's like game of thrones up in here.
#98 to #92 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Me too.
#118 to #98 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
wat shiny said, epic story i wanna know how it ends :D

cap: fresh, yes the story is
#14 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Damn. I'm a girl but this makes me wish I was from Mars...

PS. Sammiches are on the table.
#15 to #14 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Good job bitch. Now go do the dishes.
#18 to #14 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
#14 you have made me the happiest man in the world, Will you marry me?
#32 to #18 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
psssst number 14 isn't a girl
+1
#37 to #32 - SingForAbsolution **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #16 to #14 - SgtTonnerre (12/08/2009) [-]
Finally! A girl that isn't whining about all that sexist crap and that appreciates Sammiches jokes. You ma'am are a pure winner!
#21 to #16 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
pfft.
I post half of the sexist sammich and kitchen jokes on here; and I am a female.

I think it's funny.
Chill the **** out; not that rare.
#113 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Wow....that chick sounds like the next Stephenie Meyer about to write another book about some mopey, conceited girl who's just sad she can't get any.
User avatar #173 - ILAUGHATFAILS (12/08/2009) [-]
how does each person partner up with the person to their right?
#177 to #173 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
exactley what i was thinking
#87 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
(O-O) Attack squadrans? Transgalactic communicators? Particle beams(that are blue)!? Lithium fusion missiles!? Damn you Rebecca! How dare you finish the story!?!?!?!!?!?!?

Captcha: Lykes. I lykes Gary's story. HIS STORY LIEK TOTALLY PWNS REBECCA'S WIMPY EXCUSE FOR A STORY.
#93 to #87 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
gary finished the story you douche
#96 to #93 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
he means rebecca stopped contributing to the story
#28 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
i signed up to lead, not to read
#8 - anon (12/08/2009) [-]
Gary = Win
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