George Carlin. Insert Religious debate below.. Religion has actually convinced people that there' s an invisible man, living in the sky, who watches everything  Atheism

George Carlin

Tags: Atheism
Religion has actually convinced people that there' s an
invisible man, living in the sky, who watches everything
you do every minute of every day of your life. And he
has a list of ten things he does not want you to do. And
if you do any, any, of these ten things, he has a special
place full of fire and smoke and ash and torture where
he will send you to suffer and burn and scream and cry
forever and ever until the end of time!
But he loves you.
He loves you and he needs money'.
George Carlin
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Views: 37544
Favorited: 313
Submitted: 10/17/2010
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#171 - StuddMuffin (10/18/2010) [-]
Is mayonnaise a religion?
#175 to #171 - Eziolieksbrushie (10/18/2010) [-]
Is religion a mayonnaise?
#185 to #175 - Armstrawng **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#187 to #185 - Eziolieksbrushie (10/18/2010) [-]
Is mayonnaise mayonnaise mayonnaise?
#218 to #187 - porkmeister **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#262 to #218 - DoomGuy ONLINE (10/18/2010) [-]
Okay, I have a plan. No, it does not involve mayonnaise.
User avatar #243 - Damahaste (10/18/2010) [-]
i was catholic once, then one day in church, in between the aerobic exercises of sitting and standing you do i thought of something... all of these people are hoping for a man to rise from the dead and bring all of there dead loved ones back to life :-/. now iv played a lot of video games and seen a lot of movies and every single one where dead people popped out of the grave has NEVER been a good thing...
#250 to #243 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
i love your comment

i even use my energy to let you know, because i hate those captchas

#252 to #243 - Sabor (10/18/2010) [-]
You sir deserve these internets
User avatar #433 to #252 - Raze (10/18/2010) [-]
I want to print one out :P
User avatar #360 - CaptainJohnPrice (10/18/2010) [-]
Honestly. This **** isn't even funny any more. It's just playing on the
"Most people on Funnyjunk are atheists so they'll thumb it up cause they agree thing."
User avatar #331 - warlockrichard ONLINE (10/18/2010) [-]
Religion: first there was nothing escept god who made everything in 7 days
Science: first there was nothing which then exploded into everything
User avatar #354 to #331 - Slipperynuts (10/18/2010) [-]
Few things here. The original bible was mal-translated. It is supposed to be Seven periods/ages, not days. Also, you should replace Religion with Christianity.
#413 to #354 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
you know that Christianity didnt invent that right?
User avatar #361 to #354 - ICEDgrunge (10/18/2010) [-]
that would be the old testament,christians dont really follow it,its the grounds for judaism,christianity for the most part wants science involved with them to prove certain things in their religion.
User avatar #357 to #354 - armouredtiger (10/18/2010) [-]
No, the word 'days' could be interpreted as anything, our current Pope, Pope Benedict XIV, even said that we should not take the old testament to be literal. Therefore, days could mean hours, or minutes, or anything. And these days may be in god's time, which there isnt, since god resides outside of time and space. At least thats what chirstians think.
#336 to #331 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
funny, but true: on sooooo many levels:

Science: Lighting struck water, and life sprang forth
Religion: God made it

User avatar #345 to #336 - Savos Mok (10/18/2010) [-]
Actually, according to the teory of evolution, life started from mutated rocks. (No, I'm not joking)
User avatar #349 to #345 - PetroleumPinecone (10/18/2010) [-]
Yeah you are...or you don't know much about evolution. Evolution predicts how life changes NOT how it starts. There is nothing in evolution that states how it all began. Also, if you mash together all the elements present in the early earth, in water, and leave it for a damned long time, amino acids form. They are the building blocks of DNA. How life came from that no-one knows, but this mutated rock idea of yours is, frankly, ******* insane.
#368 to #349 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
My good must not know much about evolution yourself...if evolution really has no tie into the orgin of life than why is it faultly presented in high school biology textbooks. Youll see it along with the chapters presenting evolution. And the amino acids your talking about are not plausible explainitations for the origin of life being that he only came up with a few amino acids and they were evenly right and left handed. Life is made of ALL LEFT handed amino acids. Stanlet Miller who tested the theory your talking about after 50 years of research came to the conclusion that life COULD NOT have originated by chance.
User avatar #377 to #368 - PetroleumPinecone (10/18/2010) [-]
Hey mate, high school textbooks aside (you really shouldn't get your answers from them anyway), evolution is the theory that things EVOLVE. Change with the generations. It does not explain how life started. Read a book by any well respected person dealing with this (Dawkins for preference) and you will see that it does NOT and nor does it try to, deal with how life started. Also, your point about amino acids is well taken, it is ridiculously implausible that (with the information we have now) it was all a fluke. I don't, and didn't suggest otherwise. But seriously, evolution was never meant to explain how it all started, just how it continued. It's a pleasure to meet a well-read anon for a change though!
User avatar #352 to #349 - Savos Mok (10/18/2010) [-]
It's not my idea.
User avatar #362 to #352 - FenderBender (10/18/2010) [-]
Obviously it is because in any science class i have ever had, never heard that humans came from rocks.
User avatar #367 to #362 - Savos Mok (10/18/2010) [-]
I read it in a book about the theory of evolution. I did not come up with the rock idea, nor do I believe it, therefore it is not my idea
User avatar #370 to #367 - FenderBender (10/18/2010) [-]
Ok. Sorry dude. I didnt mean to come off as a douche or anything. I shouldn't have been so rude about it lol. we kool?
User avatar #374 to #370 - Savos Mok (10/18/2010) [-]
Its fine. XD
User avatar #346 to #336 - Zacman (10/18/2010) [-]
science: first there was nothing which then exploded into everything

religion: god made that big explosion
User avatar #298 - Gazzle snazzle (10/18/2010) [-]
dudes funny
i like him and im a christian
i dont like his beliefs but i give him props for being funny
User avatar #93 - Bacula [OP](10/17/2010) [-]
If you could reason with Religious people,
There would be no Religious people.

#63 - demented (10/17/2010) [-]
I was raised Christian but lost my faith. I suppose Agnostic  would describe my current beliefs. Argue for both sides of religion mostly because I hate people using crap arguments against religion. Rule one of debate: if you're going to argue something know your subject first. That's all for this mini-rant...  
...inb4 tl;dr  
Haters gonna hate.
I was raised Christian but lost my faith. I suppose Agnostic would describe my current beliefs. Argue for both sides of religion mostly because I hate people using crap arguments against religion. Rule one of debate: if you're going to argue something know your subject first. That's all for this mini-rant...
...inb4 tl;dr
Haters gonna hate.
#221 to #63 - BigMacAttack (10/18/2010) [-]
Imho, Buddhism is a pretty nice religion. It tells you that: "When desiring stops, suffering will". And I think, that all the selfish desires of people are what cause suffering in this world.
User avatar #65 to #63 - Bacula [OP](10/17/2010) [-]
I think George Carlin knows what the **** he's talking about.
User avatar #68 to #65 - demented (10/17/2010) [-]
Agreed. I'm just saying that I've heard way too many crappy arguments against it. Citing ******** "facts" and using quotes from texts completely out of context.
User avatar #69 to #68 - Bacula [OP](10/17/2010) [-]
User avatar #79 to #63 - JklnHyd (10/17/2010) [-]
Thank you. The last person I encountered on here describing themselves as agnostic just spouted some crap about how science and religion were both brainwashing and science only lets you learn what "they" want you to know. It's good to see someone who stays in the middle for lack of having ruled everything out, instead of ridiculous levels of ignorance.
User avatar #80 to #79 - demented (10/17/2010) [-]
Not a problem I take pride in being Lawfully Neutral XD
User avatar #74 to #63 - Xedan (10/17/2010) [-]
"if you're going to argue something know your subject first" that's why atheists on average know the most about the bible.
User avatar #75 to #74 - demented (10/17/2010) [-]
User avatar #76 to #75 - Xedan (10/17/2010) [-]
I did love Steven Colbert's rant on why that fact doesn't matter though xD

But I know what you mean. Too many atheists think it's enough to just know about religion. But if you're going to argue for science, you have to know about that too. I've never been more pissed then when I listened to two people near me arguing about whether or not we evolved from monkeys. One argued on science, one on religion, but the kicker is that both we sure that science said we came from monkeys. Not a common descendant, STRAIT FROM MONKEYS.

If you don't understand science, you're far more ignorant than the supposed idiot you're arguing with.
#123 - Seanxy (10/18/2010) [-]
Have you heard of this Galileo chap? He's been blabbering on that the Earth actually revolves around the sun. A bit of blasphemy in my opinion!
#173 - demented (10/18/2010) [-]
Yes, another religious argument I needed a good lul.
#82 - shittyjunk (10/17/2010) [-]
Comment Picture
#25 - adfin **User deleted account** (10/17/2010) [-]
Hey guys, any room for the agnostic people up in this bitch?
User avatar #33 to #25 - andrewzb (10/17/2010) [-]
i hope so
#150 - RoflWawful (10/18/2010) [-]
I first realized I was god when I was praying, and I came to the conclusion I was talking to myself. .
#434 to #388 - ExtremeEthelbert (10/18/2010) [-]
his response to this post
User avatar #156 - Jaaydenn (10/18/2010) [-]
One word - EVOLUTION....Bitches.
#157 to #156 - Fiffinono has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #167 to #156 - Furubatsu (10/18/2010) [-]
there is no evolution, only animals Chuck Norris has allowed to live
User avatar #174 to #167 - Eziolieksbrushie (10/18/2010) [-]
hahaha! ^ retard
#172 to #167 - Jaaydenn has deleted their comment [-]
#335 - elitedarklord (10/18/2010) [-]
#309 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
well he's talking about hell in a way its portrayed by cartoons, movies, pictures but hell can be relative to everyone because everyone has diffrent representations of what hell is (ergo their personal hell)

unless it says so in the bible
#376 to #309 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
acutally the hellfire or "torturous place" you all are refering to is not taught in the bible. it was a method used by the early catholic church as a means to fear people into going to church
#125 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
I am sorry for all the times Christians have been complete jerks - if any of us have ever made you feel like we thought you were crap in any way shape or form, we were wrong. Somebody already said, God doesn't hate fags, or America, or Muslims, or anything like that. We use God's name a lot to justify our hate, and if God hates anything, its when we do stuff like push others away. I get really hurt when people get on here and trash my God and myself for loving Him, but I can't bring myself to say the same things back.

"I like your Christ, but I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." ~Gandhi
#203 to #125 - anon (10/18/2010) [-]
User avatar #356 - FenderBender (10/18/2010) [-]
I'm jewish... let the negative comments and negative thumbs commence in 3... 2...
User avatar #439 to #356 - FizzleFazzle (10/18/2010) [-]
#358 to #356 - ZakWho **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #363 to #358 - FenderBender (10/18/2010) [-]
thanks bro
#394 to #373 - Lightninjagamer **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #410 to #394 - FenderBender (10/18/2010) [-]
I dunno... I honestly have no idea...
User avatar #402 to #394 - AccountwasWiped (10/18/2010) [-]
dunno, just came to me.

is all.
#407 to #356 - Jexus **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #106 - bfunk (10/17/2010) [-]
"Religion is like a penis
its ok to have one and be proud of it
but dont go waving it around in people's faces
and PLEASE dont shove it down my children's throats"
-dunno source
#153 to #106 - Tix (10/18/2010) [-]
lmfao i remember seeing that on my cousins computer and i cracked up
User avatar #39 - MynameisGir (10/17/2010) [-]
I'm religious but have a sense of humor,so thumb for you
User avatar #43 to #39 - Bacula [OP](10/17/2010) [-]
People like you give me faith in humanity.
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