Lets Face It. English is a stupid language. There is no egg in the eggplant, No ham in the hamburger And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple. English muffin
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Lets Face It

English is a stupid language

Tags: english | Gay | lol
There is no egg in the eggplant,
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England,
French fries were not invented in France.
We sometimes take English for granted, but if we examine its paradoxes we find that:
Quicksand takes you down slowly,
Boxing rings are square,
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
If writers write, how come fingers don' t fing?
If the plural of tooth is teeth,
Should n' t the plural of phone booth be phone beeth?
If the teacher taught,
Why hasn' t the preacher braught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables,
What the heck does a humanitarian eat?
Why do people recite at a play,
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on ?
How can the weather be as hot as hell on one day
And as cold as hell on another?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where a house can burn up as it burns down,
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!
English was invented by people, not computers,
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
Which of course isn' t a race at all.)
Th at is why:
When the stars are out they are visible,
But when the lights are out they are invisible.
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts,
But when I wind up this poem
It ends.
Let' s Face It. English Is a Stupid Language.
...
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Views: 55670
Favorited: 48
Submitted: 12/04/2009
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Comments(161):

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User avatar #70 - OneHundredandFifty (12/05/2009) [+] (3 replies)
the past tense of sink is sank
the past tense of drink is drank
so what's the past tense of wink??
#30 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (16 replies)
No, your a stupid language!
#32 to #30 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
WELL UR A TOWEL
#62 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (3 replies)
I don't see how you can say that English is a dumb or stupid language without saying or critisizing other languages as well...because just so you know...English is NOT it's own language...English derives from other languages. There is very little in the English language that is actually English when you compare it as a whole. Most of it as either Greek, German, Latin, or Spanish. So if you're going to diss the English language, you're basically dissing every other language...and by the way, that's why a lot of our word meanings have more than one meaning or may contradict itself. :)
#108 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
by your logic, humanitarian's eat humanitables? is that the answer you're after?
#101 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
Items delivered by cars are called shipment
Items delivered by ships are called cargo.
#59 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Dont forget we bake cookies and cook bacon
#121 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (1 reply)
cargo is on a ship but when u ship sumtin it is driven
#123 to #121 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
the joke is more like

Why is it that when something is carried by a car it's a shipment, but when a ship carries it, it's cargo?
#116 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
kinda ironic that it was all done in english...
User avatar #53 - RickAstleyy (12/05/2009) [-]
What the creator of this is trying to say is he failed English class and should've just moved to Spain.
#27 - antifaggotry (12/05/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Life Lesson..
Don't chirp the language of the country you immigrated to ************ !
#3 - anonymous (12/04/2009) [+] (2 replies)
Both of the above posters are gay and have no sense of humor. I am of the opinion that they should be drawn and quartered.

Sincerely,
An English Professor
#4 to #3 - anonymous (12/04/2009) [-]
Professors don't work at community college's, dooche bags with worthless English degrees do.
#162 - anonymous (12/07/2009) [-]
What's funnier than the poem is all the ignorant fools below.. this isn't pertaining to those who actually understood this, and the fact that it is a joke- not an attack on the English language, or America.. or your chevy truck or inbred children.
Christ this type of pretentious and ignorant mindset (about something so simple) that makes other countries hate America.
#146 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
these are truly words of wisdom my friend
#138 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (1 reply)
i didnt even realize it was a poem till half way through..
#134 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (1 reply)
english was invented by germans
#136 to #134 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
Partly. English is a mix of pretty much all latin derived languages, making for a pretty ****** up vocabulary and grammar base if you ask me XD.
User avatar #115 - towtruck (12/05/2009) [-]
im gonna send this to my spanish teacher... he is gonna lol for sure.

this is my reason for learning spanish. that and i live in new mexico....
User avatar #56 - LeanPocket (12/05/2009) [-]
Pretty sure english is awesome,i mean come on,we got a curse for every adjective,a slander for every noun and not to mention a **** ton of useless words that we will end up reusing til there meaning is lost...whens the last time anyone gasped at the sound of the word 'rape" eh?
#28 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
They call fingers, but I ain't never seen 'em "fing".... oh, there they go...
#22 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [+] (2 replies)
also your writing in english dumbass
#25 to #23 - anonymous (12/05/2009) [-]
An* idiot.. Victims of grammar Nazi's never forget.
#6 - anonymous (12/04/2009) [+] (1 reply)
Well at least hamburgers are named after a German town Hamburg where Americans first discovered the first form of ... a hamburger. They liked it and took the recipe back home.
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