Complete Win. might be a repost. I Anonymous 08/ / % Mona" 19: 5541 Evening/ bl, I come to you tonight to share you a tale Male yttrium's Male oswin And most ma
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Complete Win

might be a repost

I Anonymous 08/ / % Mona" 19: 5541
Evening/ bl,
I come to you tonight to share you a tale
Male yttrium's
Male oswin
And most mall the almighty hates women.
Rest assure there wit be no trouble in mah neighbourhood, no moving to bet air, retelling any taxi drivers twill be
smelling them later.
Here' s where its at, about 8 months ago, January's be exact, Iwent out to the good guys (you know whail mean Ausfags}
and got myselft brand new handy cam, sitting at home by to work the tucker out, all eta sudden there' s a
knock at the door, and who else is it, but my ex, baaww' ing her eyes out, playing the sympathy card hard, so I let her in
big mistake), not tend other and we wernt on good terms but she explains to me that she thinks she pregnant cause
the cumdumpster and her boyfriend are both as stupid as one another.
I Anonymous ( Moolah 9: 53: 15 No.
She being , explains she can' t go to her rents nor any due to ultimate shame and harsh ridicule that (also not telling her
boyfriend cause he' d **** often her( as a real man would)), so as I don' t associate with furfriends dreamily she explains I am her only hope begetting
help, athest I was hoping she would ask me to punch her in the stomach, butthe wants me to take herto a clinic, posing as her old brother, being
desperate she offers to do anything.
soor as any self respecting gentleman I reply with "blow me" and in the true spirit, she does, allthough I admit it was nothing special, it
wasn' t bad either, she cleans and looks at me and says she , I lot, and she says "so are u gonna help me" andthen it dawns on me,
this bitch ****** me over hard after our break up andthey moment is a godsend, a once in a lite time chance to **** her over like never before, so I look at
her, and simply say "get the **** our she hips, and screams and yells and cries and calls me a ************ like its the only word she knows, I can' t stop
laughing, untill she drops the bomb, " going to tell everyone u raped me u shir right there andthen Ishat enough brix to great wall of china, and
she slams the door.
I Anonymous ( Moolah 9: No.‘ IAE 936446
I am ******* ****** , I pace ehwhat to do, I didn' t rape her, but who are the police gonna belive, allegations like that don' t get
cause I say, nah man, I didn' t do **** , my reputation would be ****** , right then I hear my new camera beeping, I pick it up and read the screen "low
battery"... right next to ‘REE, and my grin almost tore my cheek mi, in my fiddling around I had set it to record and hadn' t realised, great odins beard the
whole thing was on tape, the ofthe moment almost had me in tears, anyways, that night cops rocked up, as I expected, and asked me down to
the station, my parents where in shock, and I togethe police ill give me explain to my rents.
Ilold my parents about the tape andthey we' re tine, and I was going to bring the tape with me to the topshop, but then it hit me, no **** that, going to
take a ride, and went with the police without a lick of evidence, the cops we' re outraged, andl made my story sound really flawed and ****** , so
they charged me with counts of rape, assault, harrasment, all this ******** and I had to front court in the coming month, atonally came, was
in that booth bawwing and carrying on like a ************ , almost convincing on account other many years of acting lessons, shed walk back to herstal
and give me grin that i wantedto slap the **** mi her, when I togethe stand I pretender's be ******** brix and have a real **** defence,
just to bitch up, the case carried on northren court appearances or ‘IE days.
on the final day, in the morning prejudge would compile bythe end ofthe day, during my recess I told my lawyer about the tape, he
only responded tortellini me ‘you ******* sneaky bastard" laughing, I gave him the tape, andthat bitch spat on me as I went back to my seat, I turned and
waved at , which wiped her grin straight mi, my lawyer new evidence and hit the lights, and barn, up on the screen before the
whole court was berserking my dick like a little whore, andthe it was weird having my parents watching it, my dad laughing away.
the look on hamface was, to me, all the happiness in the world, the court was silent for abouta mins , obito their back room and
emerged in a blink of an eye, Iwas innocent dropped charges on my ex, accusation with intent of damaging my reputation and
wasting police resources, my legal fees had to be paid by her and her parents and boyfriend disowned her and I did not stop laughing my arse editor about
ft months, to date it was the greatest thing thats ever happended me, revenge was so sweet .... .. andno put the icing on the cake, she was pregnant.
Picrelated, its her
Views: 57682
Favorited: 64
Submitted: 12/02/2009
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #1 - Solanix (12/02/2009) [-]
I do believe that this is the original definition of epic win. This is what 4chan was made for.
#57 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [+] (4 replies)
Yeah, you LIED!
This iz all about YOU LYING to HER, the COPS, the JUDGE, your LAWYER....

You IDIOT just cost a couple of THOUSAND of ***us*** 'tax payers' a freakin LOT of money, JUST so *YOU* could NOT help a former girlfriend!!!!

Sleep well, and *I* hope YOU get what YOU derserve!
#60 to #57 - JackRussellTerrier (12/03/2009) [-]
When you OVERUSE the CAPS LOCK feature, people take your POST a bit LESS SERIOUSLY. Not to mention, *what the hell is this*?
Maybe you should take the INTERNET a bit less SERIOUSLY and stop making it too EASY for people to do annoying IMPRESSIONS of your STUPID POST that makes them look as DUMB as YOU DO.
#34 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [+] (4 replies)
What kind of sick human being would be that mean to a girl?
#35 to #34 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
I'm a girl and I think this story is bad ass!
Bitches like that deserve it.
#19 - chrispbacon **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#17 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
yeah - whether this be truth or fiction, it's entertaining
#70 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
well played sir, well played
#24 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
Epic ******* win. I am lost for words.
#53 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
this deserves +10 interwebz +5 4chan /b/ awards and +2 mudkipz.
#145 - UnderageOverdose **User deleted account** (12/03/2009) [-]
congratulations, good sir. You made a lawyer laugh.
#102 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [+] (1 reply)
*tear* so much win......

9001+ internetz
you can haz cheezburger
you earned the Medal of WIN
aaaaaaaaaaaaaand unlimited girlfriends
#92 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
this is the Alpha and Omega of WIN. You don't deserve a medal, you deserve a ******* monument
#41 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [+] (2 replies)
I just jizzed so ******* hard that it not only blew a hole in my pants but melted the floor. That was so ******* epic.
#6 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/02/2009) [-]
This guy is my ******* hero!
User avatar #21 - Paranoid Sniper (12/03/2009) [-]
wow dumb bitch. but she is kinda hot.
#154 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [+] (2 replies)
#155 to #154 - UnderageOverdose **User deleted account** (12/03/2009) [-]
she's a bitch, enough said.
#101 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
That. Was the best. Thing. Ever. Just the fact that everything turned to this guy's favour is amazing.
#59 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
this man deserves top spot on funnyjunk indefinately. well played
#51 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
you stingy bastard. you got that girl bad rep and most probably a criminal record. you are the luckiest prick to have that video camera there. bravo. bravo. quite possibly the best win ever heard ever.
#18 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/03/2009) [-]
lol'd so hard when i read i shat enough brix to build the great wall of china
#2 - xxxsonic fanxxx (12/02/2009) [-]
I've read it 10 times, It's still funny though
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