Batman. .
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Submitted: 05/02/2013
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#19 - vashford (05/03/2013) [-]
I wonder how many people Batman would beat the 						****					 out of just for making jokes like that about his parents daily. Lol.    
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I wonder how many people Batman would beat the **** out of just for making jokes like that about his parents daily. Lol.

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User avatar #22 to #19 - heroicvenom (05/03/2013) [-]

#17 - neznanc (05/03/2013) [-]
sounds delicious
User avatar #16 - zzforrest (05/03/2013) [-]
But what about Alfred? He should know that **** !
#13 - atticusspc (05/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#11 - Uranium (05/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#10 - isniffbutts (05/03/2013) [-]
"Or give it to your mother Alfred Pennyworth. He knows how to do it.
#8 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
>inb4 detram says that not all people have mothers
#4 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
I hate batman so much... he's not even a real super hero. There's nothing super about him. He's just a hero. He's basically a smart ninja... are ninjas super heroes? No. Batman should not be part of the justice league. He's a ******* glorified detective. He has no super powers. He's not super human. He's a regular ninja. Call him a hero, but not a SUPER hero.
User avatar #21 to #4 - schneidend (05/03/2013) [-]
Also copypasta.
#23 to #21 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
Doesn't make it any less true.
User avatar #26 to #23 - schneidend (05/03/2013) [-]
No, but the fact that Batman and other people who have superhuman accuracy, agility, intellect and combat skills are considered metahumans in-universe certainly does make your claim entirely false. Superheroes just need to be and do things normal humans are not capable of being or doing. Batman can ignore a 2x4 breaking over his head, dodge lasers, and judo-flip Darkseid.
#29 to #26 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
He's above average... still not SUPER human.
User avatar #30 to #29 - schneidend (05/03/2013) [-]
He has superhuman intelligence, endurance, willpower, agility, and skill. His abilities have surpassed normal human limitations. He's classified as a metahuman in-universe.
#32 to #30 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
Superhuman - above or beyond what is human.

He's a smart ninja, that's all. What he has achieved is still achievable by other humans. Batman is a vigilante that fights for his version of justice.
User avatar #34 to #32 - schneidend (05/04/2013) [-]
Batman's training has pushed him past the average human, a point that 99% of humans would die attempting to achieve. He's closer to Captain America than he is to any normal person.
#35 to #34 - anonymous (05/04/2013) [-]
But there is still that 1%. He is above average.
User avatar #36 to #35 - schneidend (05/04/2013) [-]
Then I guess Wolverine is just above average. He can only do what the average mutant can do. Iron Man isn't a superhero, either, anybody could build a suit of armor. Superman isn't a superhero, because all kryptonians have the same powers.

See how stupid that all sounds? That's you.
#37 to #36 - anonymous (05/04/2013) [-]
Actually you're the one who sounds stupid making those comparisons. Both wolverine and superman are super HUMAN, that's my point. I agree that Ironman only has a suit of armor that anyone can make. A superhero is super human.
User avatar #20 to #4 - schneidend (05/03/2013) [-]
Guys! An obvious troll!
#12 to #4 - Uranium (05/03/2013) [-]
Batman has beaten the **** out of pretty much every superhero in the DC and Marvel universe (in the various cross overs). I think he has beaten the **** out of Superman atleast 3 times and left him for dead. Batman also has a contingency plan to kill the entire justice league.
#24 to #12 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
All his fights are complete and utter ******** . There's no way in hell he'd ever win any of those fights. Things always just HAPPEN to happen the exact perfect way they need to in order for batman to win. It's ******** . If it was a fair fight, 1 on 1, superman would destroy him. But Batman's fights are always staked in his favor. Superman is way too ******* fast for batman. He would knock batman's head off before Batman's human eyes even processed the information. That's how an actual fight between them would go. Batman's human reflexes can't keep up with superman.
#31 to #24 - Uranium (05/03/2013) [-]
Thats why Batman keeps kryptonite on him almost all the time.
#33 to #31 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
I understand he keeps it on him... but that's not what i'm saying. I'm saying he would ever be able to USE it. I know superman can go at least Mach 4, Which is 4 times the speed of sound. How the **** can a human even try to keep up with that? Batman will never be able to use that rock of his...
User avatar #6 to #4 - rjake (05/03/2013) [-]
didnt he take on the whole justice league and win?
#5 to #4 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
I wish you weren't a ****** Anon like me. Otherwise I'd find you. Bitch. I bet you couldn't do any of that **** . It's pretty ******* spectacular. He's a super hero. I'd like to see your punkass jump off a building.
#7 to #5 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
Superhero - any of various comic-strip characters with superhuman abilities or magical powers, wearing a distinctive costume, and fighting against evil.

Superhuman - above or beyond what is human

Hero - a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds and noble qualities.

Batman is a hero, there's no denying that. He isn't a SUPER hero though.
User avatar #9 to #7 - benjaminbutton (05/03/2013) [-]
You are a ******* moron. What makes a superhero is not what powers they bestow, but the fact that they go above and beyond the call of duty to help save the world. And besides, Batman has accomplished feats that go beyond normal human attributes. Most people can't bench press 1000lbs, and in one of the comics, he gave created an entirely different personality in case he were to be compromised. Last time I checked, these are normal human feats. Where his superpowers really lie are his mental feats. He can outwit many of the best in the league (though I don't want to sound like the guy that says he can beat every superhero ever). Having super powers doesn't make you a superhero going against the odds and putting yourself in mortal danger makes you a superhero. Batman might not have any super powers but he makes up for it in brains. Heck he is able to take down most members of the Justice League because he can out smart them.
Batman is a superhero.

Still not satisfied, well too bad, it's on wikipedia you **** .

"Normally, superheroes use their powers to counter day-to-day crime while also combating threats against humanity by supervillains, their criminal counterparts. Often, one of these supervillains will be the superhero's archenemy. As well, some longrunning superheroes, such as Superman, Batman, Spider-Man and Iron Man each has a rogues gallery of enemies. As well, superheroes sometimes will combat such irregular threats as aliens, magical/fantasy entities, American war enemies such as nazism or communism, and godlike or demonic creatures."
#25 to #9 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
No you described a hero. They go above and beyond the call of duty and go against odds putting themselves in mortal danger. A super hero does the same but also has super powers and is super human, not just above average. Yeah because NO ONE can edit wikipedia...
#15 to #9 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
If Batman is a superhero, so are James Bond and Sherlock Holmes.
User avatar #18 to #15 - benjaminbutton (05/03/2013) [-]
Perhaps, I don't know much about them but perhaps you need to do a little more research on what makes a superhero a superhero. Again, it's more than just the ability to shoot lasers out of one's eye.
#27 to #18 - anonymous (05/03/2013) [-]
No but that is what it is. they have to be a hero and also have some kind of super power. Otherwise they're just a hero. Batman is a vigilante that fights for his version of justice.
User avatar #28 to #27 - benjaminbutton (05/03/2013) [-]
Yea, but on a global scale. He has matched wits with supervillains with superpowers, and that would therefore make him a superhero. It's what he does that defines him, not the powers that he does and doesn't have. I don't know if Sherlock has saved the world on global scale, but James Bond has, and frankly pretty unrealistically. I consider people like him and Indiana Jones superheroes.
#3 - wakingeyes (05/03/2013) [-]
Should be:

"Or give it to Alfred.
He know how to do it."
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