fuck the government. . Today, my weird neighbor Is ll conspiracy theorist and think the government Is trying he kill him. Sameone thought it 1. -meld be Funny h
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fuck the government

Today, my weird neighbor Is ll conspiracy theorist and think the government Is trying he kill him. Sameone
thought it 1. -meld be Funny he shine ll red laser light through his . Iwas an the stairs when he ran past,
screaming bleed? murder, sending me dawn ll flight cf steps. PML
2091 9796 it definitely does! ) - you deserved it {El I B)
92 On / ' 201 3 at 3: - inlaid - by Anonymaws - United States Or leg on) '1
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Views: 39489
Favorited: 36
Submitted: 10/15/2013
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What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #7 - spaceking ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
"Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light"
More like
User avatar #24 to #7 - infiniteduress (10/16/2013) [-]
Silly person the Government isn't alive right now.
#2 - slias (10/16/2013) [-]
He's a conspiracy theorist, but only on that particular day.
User avatar #4 to #2 - subbajubba (10/16/2013) [-]
That makes him weird. He is someone else every day...
#9 to #2 - fragman ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
My first thought exactly. But then I realized that every single fmylife.com post starts with "Today, ". So...
User avatar #10 to #9 - epicwinone (10/16/2013) [-]
i think its mandatory tht they do.
#15 - iamgriffman ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
#17 - maddawakka (10/16/2013) [-]
In my school a few years back, I got a 2 hour after school detention for having a red laser pen on me, yet other kids could bring narcotics and get less punishments
User avatar #21 to #17 - joehue (10/16/2013) [-]
You're lucky 2 hours of detendtion is all you got. When I was in middle school someone got expelled for using a laser pointer in class.
User avatar #22 to #21 - thecakeislegit (10/16/2013) [-]
One of my middle school teachers almost got fired because he used one. It took our entire class yelling at the Principle to get her to leave.
User avatar #19 to #17 - hoponthefeelstrain ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
School hardly ever makes sense, if you miss too many days of school they punish you by giving you more days to miss school.
#34 to #17 - Airmanator (10/16/2013) [-]
I hated high school. Kids would throw punches, disrespect teachers, throw things in the classroom and nothing happens, but I verbally tell some would-be chuckleheads to **** off and I get sent to the office. Totally fair.

Gotta protect a bully's self esteem.
User avatar #36 to #34 - reginleif (10/16/2013) [-]
I got suspended and kicked out a class for retelling an episode of Southpark.

User avatar #37 to #36 - mitchr (10/16/2013) [-]

My Latin teacher makes sexist jokes and insults people in class; he doesn't get in trouble because everyone knows he's not serious.

Well, except the freshman. I watched him make a girl cry once. She didn't realize he was kidding. And yeah, that one didn't go over well...
User avatar #43 to #37 - newforomador (10/16/2013) [-]
Lucky bastard, having Latin class. All my school has is Spanish, and they cancelled Latin 1 or 2 years before I could take it. And I really want to learn Latin.
User avatar #44 to #43 - mitchr (10/16/2013) [-]
There's probably some internet courses. Colleges might teach it, too, if you plan on going to one. Dunno for that second one, though.

Cambridge Latin Course is what we use. It's a pretty good textbook, good explanations, charts,crap, and it actually has a not bad story.

So many frickin people die though.
User avatar #45 to #44 - newforomador (10/16/2013) [-]
I'm not a big fan of internet language courses, and I do plan on taking it in college. I just wish I could learn it earlier.
User avatar #46 to #45 - mitchr (10/16/2013) [-]
Don't blame you. It's fun.

Plus shouting "Asinus Es!" at people is always wonderful.
Or shouting "Anus es!" then explaining that Anus is the word for Old Woman. It is ALSO the word for anus, though.
User avatar #47 to #46 - newforomador (10/16/2013) [-]
One big reason I wanna learn Latin is because it's a pretty decently large part of a book that I'm trying to write. The other reason is because I wanna be able to yell at people in a language they probably won't understand if we get in a shouting fight.
User avatar #48 to #47 - mitchr (10/16/2013) [-]
Oh, believe me, Latin is great for that. So many insults, so many words for "kill", so on.
#1 - doggstar (10/16/2013) [-]
jesus christ, doesn't he know they use green lasers because they have a more effective range
User avatar #41 to #1 - habakkuk (10/16/2013) [-]
The last time i used a government PEQ laser sight on an M4 it had a red laser and an IR laser..
#8 to #1 - Einsty (10/16/2013) [-]
That's what they want you to think.
User avatar #30 - unncommon (10/16/2013) [-]
"Today, my word neighbour is a conspiracy theorist..."
What will he be tomorrow?
Stay tuned...
#38 to #30 - dontknowmeatall (10/16/2013) [-]
The website's rules establish that all posts must start with "today" and end with "FML".
#39 - gladiuss (10/16/2013) [-]
"Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist..."

What was he yesterday?
#42 to #39 - yuukoku (10/16/2013) [-]
Oh, grammar.

It's hard to ignore the way that people can completely **** up a sentence by not using proper syntax.
User avatar #11 - flemsdfer (10/16/2013) [-]
Why was she on her neighbor's stairs?
User avatar #26 to #11 - xdeathspawnx (10/16/2013) [-]
she probably lives in an apartment.
#12 to #11 - captnpl ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
Obviously she was a government agent sent to kill him.
#13 to #12 - flemsdfer (10/16/2013) [-]
User avatar #6 - soupkittenagain (10/16/2013) [-]
I wonder what he does every other day.
User avatar #31 to #6 - trollinggenius ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
the "today," and "FML" are put in there automatically by the website because they assume everyones story occurred on the day the post was posted.
#5 - thelonegodilla (10/16/2013) [-]
Tomorrow, he'll be a murder victim
#32 - blooddodo ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
Well, you know...
User avatar #3 - dedaluminus (10/16/2013) [-]
I like pitting conspiracy theories against each other. Like when someone says that jet fuel couldn't burn hot enough to melt steel, I ask if they know what the burning temperature or acidity of the mind control chemicals in the vapor trails that all planes carry is.
#49 to #3 - anon (10/16/2013) [-]
Jet fuel burns at 1700 degrees Fahrenheit and those towers were made from reinforced steel made to withstand 2500 degrees Fahrenheit. You should google operation Northwoods where our government planned on blowing up our own commercial aircraft and using 50 caliber turrets on civillians to justify a war with Cuba. If you think that Tim Osman, oh I mean Osama bin Laden coordinated an effort to blow up those towers using a laptop in a cave in afganistan to penetrate the most protected airspace in the world. You're delusional.
User avatar #50 to #49 - dedaluminus (10/16/2013) [-]


#40 - FatherPedobear (10/16/2013) [-]
Another fake fml post I see.
User avatar #33 - unkownthous (10/16/2013) [-]
Why are there people that clicks he or she deserves it?
#35 to #33 - rotownhero (10/16/2013) [-]
She clicks so people deserve that.
#29 - anon (10/16/2013) [-]
fml things force you to put today at the beginning and fml at the end.
in case anyone was wondering.
User avatar #28 - phoenix grinder ONLINE (10/16/2013) [-]
today, my weird conspiracy theorist neighbor

grammar ************ does you even syntax
#25 - anon (10/16/2013) [-]
How is that possible when the government doesnt work anymore?
User avatar #20 - randomserb (10/16/2013) [-]
He's not usually a conspiracy theorist though.
User avatar #23 to #20 - ihatem (10/16/2013) [-]
Maybe that's what he wants you to think.
User avatar #18 - slapchoppin (10/16/2013) [-]
is he only a conspiracy theorist for today though?
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