description. bitch, post some weird facts. and roll dubs. do both bitch.. degree urge to genie mine middle: -I the night willie mama else is test esteem and jus notfeels


description. bitch, post some weird facts. and roll dubs. do both bitch.. degree urge to genie mine middle: -I the night willie mama else is test esteem and jus

bitch, post some weird facts. and roll dubs. do both bitch.

Tags: notfeels
degree urge to genie mine middle: -I
the night willie mama else is test esteem and just
wait: places and to be swam alone and entirely
dedicated ts your
my are sun many people munching me
This is my you don' t wait: armed In the we of the night
  • Recommend tagsx
Views: 63157
Favorited: 148
Submitted: 10/20/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to mrfumbles submit to reddit


What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#7 - josieabby (10/20/2013) [-]
You said to post weird facts...

The blood from a human erection has enough blood to keep 3 gerbals alive.

If you eat a polar bear liver, you will die. Humans can’t handle that much vitamin A.
If you eat a portion of a polar bear liver, you will most likely wish you were dead.
#49 to #7 - dharen ONLINE (10/20/2013) [-]
holy **** , i looked that **** up on youtube and found the lovechild of Freaky Fred coward the cowardly dog and the stranger from the walking dead game D:
#52 to #49 - berojin (10/20/2013) [-]
Coward the cowardly dog.
#75 to #52 - dharen ONLINE (10/20/2013) [-]
Courage the Cowardly Dog!
dont hate me
User avatar #32 to #7 - Encarna (10/20/2013) [-]
Possibly only 2 gerbils.
User avatar #54 to #7 - tomahawkit **User deleted account** (10/20/2013) [-]
**tomahawkit rolls 77** and to roll dubs
User avatar #55 to #54 - tomahawkit **User deleted account** (10/20/2013) [-]
lucky 7s bitch
#82 to #7 - garnichtgut (10/20/2013) [-]
**garnichtgut rolls 3** how many gerbils my erection could keep alive.
User avatar #4 - syntheticdoll (10/20/2013) [-]
I don't walk around at night. I run to the bathroom with my door wide open for light then sprint back faster then Usain Bolt so the creatures of the night won't kill me.
I'm extremely afraid in the dark, I even have a small lamp next to me that is lit up all night long.
#29 to #4 - ifsaz **User deleted account** (10/20/2013) [-]
I assume you have glasses? Light when you're asleep makes you myopic.
User avatar #85 to #4 - crimsontyyde ONLINE (10/20/2013) [-]
I feel ya', I had part of my cheek bitten off by a Rottweiler when I was like seven and since then I cannot be in the dark alone, I hear growlin' and it just scares the **** out of me.
User avatar #115 to #4 - thornberry (10/21/2013) [-]
#142 to #4 - anon (10/21/2013) [-]
I'm 17 and still afraid of the dark. I use the blue light on my laptop charger as a nightlight. It's bright as **** .

In relation to the content, I love walking in the middle of the night.With street lamps and cars I can't be afraid. And if I walk for a little while, I can go downtown and watch the fountain change colors.

>Afraid of the dark.
>Not afraid of getting mugged/raped/murdered downtown in the middle of the night.
User avatar #40 to #4 - timmity (10/20/2013) [-]
i can divejumo 3 meters in a situation like that
User avatar #71 to #4 - greedtheavaricious (10/20/2013) [-]
Know that feel all too well. Constantly afraid a zombie or something is going to burst through my door.
User avatar #74 to #4 - klaes (10/20/2013) [-]
One day just turn off all lights in the room, block out the windows so the moon can't shine in, cover any small lights that may illuminate the area you're sleeping in. Then just sit on your bed/chair in complete and total darkness for about 10-15 minutes. Don't play music, just sit there and think about whatever you want to think about.

I was scared of the dark until I did this. It's nice to not have to sprint to my front door when it's late at night any more.
User avatar #146 to #74 - syntheticdoll (10/21/2013) [-]
Unfortunately I have a very vivid imagination, that's the reason i'm afraid but I will try it
Also, the only time I'm not afraid at all is when my boyfriend is sleeping with me.
User avatar #150 to #146 - klaes (10/21/2013) [-]
That's exactly why you should do it, though! Just let your imagination run wild and you'll find that the eeriness of the dark is replaced by a strange kind of warmth. The warmth of knowing that the only thing that will ever be cocooned in a shroud of darkness with you is someone you love, and that will always be the case. Face your fears head on and you'll also find there's a charm to stumbling blindly through a pitch black room, using your hands to guide you across the walls and your stubbed toes to warn you of furniture. When you reach a door and open it to a wave of light, you might just close the door to search a little more.

After all, if your imagination is so vivid, you might find something interesting in the darkness, no?
#45 to #4 - mcniggertoast (10/20/2013) [-]
but if you are in the light, the creatures of the dark can see you
but if you are in the light, the creatures of the dark can see you
User avatar #50 to #45 - furiousmarshmellow ONLINE (10/20/2013) [-]
Maybe they burn up in the light.
#61 to #50 - mcniggertoast (10/20/2013) [-]
#62 to #61 - furiousmarshmellow ONLINE (10/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#96 - bootyman (10/20/2013) [-]
**bootyman rolls 33**
User avatar #118 to #96 - thornberry (10/21/2013) [-]
Ay bootyman you aight
#23 - tailsx (10/20/2013) [-]
#47 to #26 - redflame (10/20/2013) [-]
Soooo... This is how he looks?
#64 to #48 - Loppytaffy (10/20/2013) [-]
Bitch is that a titan?
#66 to #64 - tailsx (10/20/2013) [-]
Berserk horse
I had to crop this image so I don't get banned
#72 to #69 - tailsx (10/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#77 to #73 - tailsx (10/20/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#16 - proffesionallurker (10/20/2013) [-]
I regularly go out for night runs because there's less traffic and pedestrians to deal with. So if you would are worried about safety, here are some tips:
1) Stay in your local area where you are familiar with both the area and people around you (in case of an emergency).
2) Bring a cell phone just in case (losing it to a mugger is less important than being stranded).
3) Try to run in a loop of no more farther from home than you can get back to without having to rest.
4) Never bring any food. (It can attract dogs)
5) Wear reflective gear, or light colors if you don't have any.
6) Stay in well lit areas, preferably street lights.
7) Face oncoming traffic unless going directly up a steep hill or blind turn where traffic has less than 100 feet to see you.
8) If you listen to music, keep it low enough to still hear your surroundings.
9) Even if a car comes in the other lane, get off the road.
10) If you get tired, walk. Don't stop because it makes you a seem like an easier target if someone is nearby.
11) If you see someone else coming in your direction, keep an eye on them; but don't turn your whole head. (It makes you seem suspicious)
12) Do not openly acknowledge other people unless they do so first, and even then limit it to just a straight-handed wave.
13) Don't panic every time you hear something, because it's usually just nothing. If you hear it multiple times, just do a quick look around and leave it at that.
14) Always have a back up route or destination in case something prevents you from going back the way you came.
15) Don't push your limits. Even if you are training, nighttime and darkness are never the safest time to go farther than you know you can.
16) Don't carry any pack, bag, or other excess carrier. If it doesn't fit in your pocket, you probably don't need it.
17) Make sure to drink water and/or use the bathroom before you leave. Stopping for those needs during the run is not safe.
18) Try to stay in a populated are if at all possible.
#93 to #16 - anon (10/20/2013) [-]
You go out for night runs? Haven't you ever read "The Smiling Man"?
#111 to #93 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
It's just fiction and if you follow common sense, you'll be fine 99.9% of the time. Of course anything can happen at anytime to anyone, and if we believe in horror stories then we would be afraid of anything; but the vast majority of danger is as exaggerated as it is unlikely. For every one bad thing that happens to a runner at night, millions of others are completely fine.
User avatar #104 to #16 - loonquawl (10/20/2013) [-]
I'm out a lot in the middle of the night, usually wearing black and walking in the shadows so the cops don't see me... I'm not out committing crimes or anything, I just like to go out at night and the cops are ******* dicks about it.
#109 to #104 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
It would be safer just to carry your ID (or any substitute). Provided that you don't have any outstanding warrants, you should be fine. You're better off getting stopped by an officer than hit by a driver that can't see you. Also, wearing black and trying to seek around the cops only makes you look more suspicious and they are even more likely to stop you. Running on public property at any time of night as a legal adult is not against the law and they can't punish you for it. I know they could possibly be a harassment, but they usually wouldn't pay much attention to your average joe walking by. They ought to be much more concerned with doing their jobs.
User avatar #113 to #109 - loonquawl (10/21/2013) [-]
I carry an ID, I wear black cuz the mostly black jacket happens to be the current favorite I own... As for avoiding the cops, it's because they're bored and generally harass everyone. Doesn't matter that I've never done anything wrong, or that my nightly walk is typically to the gym and back, I'll still have to sit on the curb for 30 minutes while one looks me up because I'm carrying pepper spray.
Also, I'm a 5 foot tall female, the police shouldn't be the biggest problem I run into on the street, but sadly, they are.
#116 to #113 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
Unfortunately, we can't control the action of others. I understand that it's your favorite, and I'm not trying to deprive you of that; but in the issue of safety, your general well-being is more important and you, nor I, nor any driver would want a potentially fatal accident to happen because of poor visibility. I would personally suggest reporting the officer for harassment, but that's just me. You could try slight deviations to areas the police patrol less often, but that too has it's own risks. I sympathize with the frustration, and I wish that you didn't have to deal with it, but the truth is that there job is to protect all of us, even at that expense. I hope it gets better soon. (p.s. a permit for the spray should register in the system in no more than 5 minutes, if they make you wait a full 30, then the report should be justified)
User avatar #122 to #116 - loonquawl (10/21/2013) [-]
I just felt like venting a little, I've spent too much time this month with a cop standing over me when literally the only thing I'm doing is walking down the street.
#132 to #122 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
I really do know how it feels. I've been in your position before, and felt the frustration you feel. I would really advise reporting this abuse, as it is a violation and discriminatory against you for legal actions. You deserve better treatment and time spent delaying you is time that should be dedicated to duty. A check once is obligatory, but repeated checks night after night is intrusive and unacceptable. Just call the station and explain this to them, it's within your legal rights and actions (depending on the precinct) should be taken. Either way, you've nothing to lose. But by all means, vent as much as you like. I and others like you understand. At the risk of being presumptuous, if you ever do want to talk to a friend who understands there are plenty of communities online you can go to, some even who can help you; or you can just drop me a line. I really don't mean to assume anything or offend you in anyway, I just understand how obnoxious it can be and how it can seem as though no one knows what it's like. I really do wish the best for you and hope that everything works out as soon as possible.
#38 to #16 - granmango (10/20/2013) [-]
How can you go out and run with that mindset? I would be even more scaried!
#56 to #38 - proffesionallurker (10/20/2013) [-]
It's really not so bad. You quickly adjust to it and soon it becomes second nature. Most of it's just precautionary anyway. You don't even notice it and just enjoy your run. It's a liberating experience; you'll probably not help but be able to enjoy it.
#108 to #56 - anon (10/21/2013) [-]
I never usually go out at night, but one time I really needed to get something to a mailbox which I live about one block away from. So I went out and about halfway down the block two ******* tried to jump me. I got lucky and a car drove by which make them scared so they ran away. I ran back to my house thinking nope nope nope and I haven't gone out after dark since. You've got balls to be able to run around at night like that.
#112 to #108 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
Well, if all else fails, bring a friend with you. You should try to avoid any dark alleys, openings, passages, or any area where someone can hide. Run as far to the opposite of the road as you can. If your area has a history of violence, run somewhere else. If you see someone sprinting directly towards you, whip out your phone and call the police. Shouting into the phone to the police loud enough may be enough to scare them off. Make sure that you run directly towards home as fast as you can manage. And don't ever carry anything valuable (aside from the phone) on your person.
#123 to #112 - anon (10/21/2013) [-]
Me and my friend were really drunk and we wondered from 1am to 6am at night and I was 15. I regret a lot
#130 to #123 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
Everyone does things that we regret; it a part of being human. Learn from your mistakes, but don't let shame, guilt, fear, or the like hold you back in life. Move on to better things and enjoy the time you have.
User avatar #114 to #16 - volleys (10/21/2013) [-]
You forgot the most important step!

21) Carry a gun. Criminals only like unarmed victims.
#119 to #114 - proffesionallurker (10/21/2013) [-]
Carrying a firearm or other weapon may not only be suspicious, but make you behave (even subconsciously) more reckless for confidence in security. It also will present problems with any law enforcement. I've tried carrying a knife on me before, but in all reality it's more of a hindrance than a benefit. The chance of it being useful are far outweighed by the likelihood of it presenting it's own dangers (even to the well trained). Besides, if you feel it necessary to carry a gun in the area, it's unsafe to run there anyway and you should seek out a new location immediately.
#149 to #119 - volleys (10/21/2013) [-]
Carrying a gun does not make any sane person suspicious (people who are illogically afraid of guns maybe). There is absolutely nothing wrong with me or any other law abiding citizen carrying a gun (typically this is concealed carry). Guns do not cause anyone to act more reckless, in fact it does quite the opposite. It requires dissection of each and every possible scenario, and usually resort to non-violent means. You may choose not to carry a knife or gun, but do not tell me what I can and cannot do. If I feel more secure with a gun, let it be. On the subject of a gun being useful in an incident let me pose a question. Lets suppose you are right and I happen to be 10% effective in a given scenario, adrenaline and all. That's 10% that could save my life. Now lets remove the gun. Now I am 0% effective. Wouldn't you rather have 10% chance to survive? On the subject of unsafe areas, yes those probably are the places where protection is needed the most, but the unforeseen is the whole reason why carrying is important. Bad things happen everywhere.
#43 to #16 - nylak (10/20/2013) [-]
21) Get a pair of big scary-looking dogs, and run with them. Use reflective leashes/collars or blinkie collar attachments for vehicular safety, as well.

This is my strategy for night running safety, and it hasn't failed me yet (I live in a "less than pleasant" neighborhood, and run at night frequently). I'm a shrimpy little white girl, but pretty much everyone backs the **** out of my way when I'm jogging down the street with a 75-pound pit bull on each side.

...Of course they're just overgrown teddy bears, but ****** don't know that.
#53 to #43 - proffesionallurker (10/20/2013) [-]
I'm glad that works in your case, and I'm sure certainly has it's merits as a safety precaution; but in my experience (as with others I know), having dogs with you may also attract the attention of multiple other dogs that are significantly less friendly. I'm guess that, like with all things, it has it's benefits and consequences; so I'd chalk it up to a "results may vary" status.
User avatar #58 to #53 - nylak (10/20/2013) [-]
That's a good point, actually. I have that happen somewhat frequently, considering the area I live in ( ********* let their dogs run loose quite a bit around here); it's not been a problem for me, but I see how it could be for others.

My dogs are well socialized with other dogs, and are familiar with a voraus command (run up to ten yards away to where I point, lie down, and don't move until released). Whenever a clearly dog-aggressive dog approaches, I usually just do that and leash the other dog with one of my boys' slip leads. Which, granted, is definitely not recommended for people who not familiar with working around potentially dangerous animals, and is a great way to get you started on your rabies vaccination series.
#17 to #16 - proffesionallurker (10/20/2013) [-]
Ran out of characters, but here's the last two:
19) Do not over-dress. Overheating/heat exhaustion makes you more vulnerable. Dress as if it's 20 degrees (Fahrenheit) warmer than it actually is.
20) Carrying identification may be advisable in case any law enforcement notices you and is suspicious of you being out so late. Plus, it is at low risk of being stolen because it is essentially useless to anyone but you personally.
#87 - sixtyeightplusone (10/20/2013) [-]
and today on FJ
User avatar #6 - latinotornado (10/20/2013) [-]
Nightly strolls are great. Honestly, just carry a gun, or pepper spray even. Just don't make yourself look like your up to no good because you don't wanna cop pulling you over asking what the deal is. But yea, I love cool night air, and a good song playing in one of my ear buds (I keep one ear bud out while i'm walking so I can be aware of my surroundings) it all really helps you think. Hell, it's just relaxing even if theres nothing on your mind. Just be careful
User avatar #10 to #6 - captainfuckitall (10/20/2013) [-]
Why should you have to be careful? You're the one with the gun.
User avatar #12 to #6 - datargumme (10/20/2013) [-]
What kind of country do you live in since you need to be carefull at night? North korea or something?
#14 to #12 - anon (10/20/2013) [-]
But what the ******* **** kind of rich fuzz bubble are you living in where you don't have to be even a bit careful

Murderers, rapists, gangsters, muggers exist in every country - some way more than others, some less than others- it's good to be wary when frolicking about alone at night anywhere
User avatar #15 to #12 - theodordronen (10/20/2013) [-]
I live in London currently and there are a few places you don't wanna walk at night my friend
#44 to #6 - anon (10/20/2013) [-]
Well in Canada you dont need to bring anything and you could walk up to 3 AM (cept in Montreal and places like that)

Source : I work from 6 to midnight and walk home everyday, never had a problem.
#63 to #6 - anon (10/20/2013) [-]
man i'd love to but in norway we're not even allowed with pepper-sprays
i still have a knife with me tho, even if it's not allowed, and i think it actually saved me and a friend of mine from being raped from two adult men one night
#100 - alhemicar (10/20/2013) [-]
time to get banned again
User avatar #120 to #100 - seymourg (10/21/2013) [-]
Can't tell... Which one is not fruit...
User avatar #125 to #120 - thesavagebreast (10/21/2013) [-]
It's all fruit.
User avatar #126 to #125 - seymourg (10/21/2013) [-]
But the.... the boob...
User avatar #127 to #126 - thesavagebreast (10/21/2013) [-]
I think that that is a pomegranate.
User avatar #128 to #127 - seymourg (10/21/2013) [-]
... Still fapable
User avatar #139 to #128 - Lolzster (10/21/2013) [-]
Funnyjunk, turning bowls of fruit into X rated content since 2001.
User avatar #129 to #128 - thesavagebreast (10/21/2013) [-]
#91 - neverunderstand (10/20/2013) [-]
This is what happens you walk around in the middle of the night.
User avatar #31 - manformen (10/20/2013) [-]
**manformen rolls 41** farts smell stronger when in shower or in the rain
User avatar #34 to #31 - mrfumbles (10/20/2013) [-]
isnt that because humidity amplifies smell? i remember reading that somewhere. something about the "smell of rain outside" is just everyting else amplified.
#13 - bitchesbanthymine (10/20/2013) [-]
Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and not be able to get back to sleep, so I go on a walk. I've done this many times and have perfected it to a fine art, so anybody wishing to embark upon nightly strolls listen up, I have some rules:
1) Dress warm, a jumper, a jacket, whatever, freezing your nipples off tends to put a damper on things.
2) Don't bring anything valuable, I don't give a **** if you live in a small village where the biggest danger is tripping over some daffodils, some ******* know that there are no witnesses at 3 in the morning.
3) Unless you live in a really rough neighbourhood, don't bring a knife or a gun of any kind, maybe you can't handle yourself in a fight but there's very few people looking to punch you in the face at 3 in the morning.
4) And the most important rule, go somewhere different every time, the local park or a particular road may get boring eventually, so just take a turn you haven't before, it keeps things interesting.
#65 - Schillsifer (10/20/2013) [-]
Today's Front Page:tumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtum blrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumbl rtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrt umblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtum blrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumbl rtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrt umblrtumblrtumblr
Today's Front Page:tumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtum blrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumbl rtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrt umblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtum blrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumbl rtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrtumblrt umblrtumblrtumblr
#143 - alucardthemagician (10/21/2013) [-]
**alucardthemagician rolls 44** Jack Nicholson's line "Here's Johnny!" was improvised due to Johnny Carson
User avatar #144 to #143 - alucardthemagician (10/21/2013) [-]
In The Shining*
forgot that bit
User avatar #103 - quadrilateral (10/20/2013) [-]
**quadrilateral rolls 28** A cat's penis is barbed along the shaft.
#105 to #103 - sasyboncho (10/20/2013) [-]
**sasyboncho rolled a random image posted in comment #20 at Subtitles **
User avatar #84 - spartusee (10/20/2013) [-]
I walk around at night. There are no streetlamps and the houses reside deep in the woods with long driveways. When walking down hilly roads that sink deep into the overcast night I often feel eyes staring at me but I shake it off as I tend to read unsettling stories in my spare time. But I certainly find the feeling of being truly alone extremely satisfactory.
#78 - cookiecoketwo has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 - bjartur (10/20/2013) [-]
I walked safely yesterday at 02:00 around the town because I live in the Faroes, almost nothing happens here. you'll be safe to walk around the island without a ****** jumping you because there are none.
User avatar #20 to #19 - bjartur (10/20/2013) [-]
I do it all the time*
User avatar #60 to #20 - articulate (10/20/2013) [-]
This is the one that made me laugh.
#46 - dafuckisthisshit (10/20/2013) [-]
#22 - cherokeewolf has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #124 - neoexdeath ONLINE (10/21/2013) [-]
I actually do this, it helps I'm six foot two and 235 pounds, if you're going to rob or try to rape someone, probably a good idea to go for someone a bit smaller.
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)