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Comments(175619):

[ 175619 comments ]
Latest users (1): StewieGGriffin, anonymous(25).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#193065 - anaphase (7 hours ago) [-]
May shave head. Will look decent or no? I think my features are too soft/round for it
#193069 to #193065 - plantain (54 minutes ago) [-]
**plantain used "*roll picture*"**
**plantain rolled image****plantain used "*roll 1, 1-99*"**
**plantain rolls 30**
Just trim your hair a bit. Your face works better for a medium-length hairstyle.
User avatar #193068 to #193065 - dragondust (1 hour ago) [-]
A buzz would look better
#193067 to #193065 - anon (2 hours ago) [-]
you will look amazing
#193061 - anon (10 hours ago) [-]
There's this girl I've been friends with for a while and I've slept with a few times. We've always said it was just sex which suits as we don't talk or hang out that often. However recently she's wanted to hang out more and do date stuff like lunches, dinners and such. I'm not interested in dating her and up until recently I thought she felt the same. We're meeting up tomorrow, is it best to drop hints that I'm not interested or just flat out tell her?
User avatar #193062 to #193061 - captainfuckitall ONLINE (10 hours ago) [-]
Don't flat out tell her as you don't want to humiliate her, but don't be so subtle she might not pick it up. Be overt, but not toward her. Make it about something else; "Oh, some girl tried hitting on me the other night but it seemed like she wanted more. I'm just not ready for that kind of stuff, you know?" Something like that.
User avatar #193059 - ishallsmiteyou (10 hours ago) [-]
Major storm's rolling through. Got a lantern and some highly refined lamp oil just in case the power goes out. That kinda shit safe to burn indoors? I can't really open a window or something since Poseidon's shoving his dick in my face.
User avatar #193053 - radianteclipse (12 hours ago) [-]
So for some reason, Chrome wont load up Webms for me. Not all of them, but there are some that wont play. Is there any way I could be able to fix that? I'd appreciate any help.
0
#193052 - humpaba has deleted their comment [-]
#193048 - lordneoify (13 hours ago) [-]
I can't believe to ask this, considering their own customer care is absolute shit

So, I'm trying to purchase something off Walmart. Nothing interesting, right? I'm a Britbong. There. Alarm bells to them.

They do accept my foreign moneys, but with some stuff (like putting in your entire address in line 1 but having a murrican delivery destination). Let's look past that though, as the thing being purchased is a code for delivery by email.

So, I've got everything set up. E-mail destination, address (mine + some randomly generated american adress which isn't needed), paying via paypal...

There was an error.

Ok, let's try just paying straight from card. Success. Ok.
Wait half an hour... and email. Oh boy, the code's here- NOT. It's an email saying they've cancelled my order due to problems with my fucking card. The only thing that's wrong with it to them is it's from tealand.

Is there any way to bypass this shit? I've tried getting giftcards but that's somehow not working either. I can't go anywhere else, as it has to be purchased from Walmart. Nowhere else.
User avatar #193054 to #193048 - sineztro (12 hours ago) [-]
What is it?
User avatar #193055 to #193054 - lordneoify (12 hours ago) [-]
I find what I am purchasing is irrelevant. The concern is walmart not accepting my card.
User avatar #193056 to #193055 - sineztro (12 hours ago) [-]
Get someone from the US to purchase for you and then email you code?
User avatar #193057 to #193056 - lordneoify (12 hours ago) [-]
Trust me, I've been trying that. So far none of them don't even have paypal for me to pay them back.
User avatar #193058 to #193057 - sineztro (12 hours ago) [-]
What if I find the thing you're looking for
#193044 - anon (14 hours ago) [-]
I don't know if this is the right place for this, but I'm slowly approaching the period where I have to choose what I really want to do in college and what degree to go into. For the past years of my life, I've always told myself and others that I was going to go in computer scientist and I wanted to become a programmer, and see where that leads me later on in life. However, I recently started really thinking about it, and asking myself questions on what I actually want to do. Now I love computers and programming, but I realized that there are other things that interest me too. I would love to do something with chemistry, biology, engineering, or even history later on, but I have no idea what college programs I could go into for that or what jobs would be available in those fields. Are there any jobs that are interesting and pay well that have to do with any of those subjects, or should I stick with programming and computer stuff? I know this may be a slightly vague question and not really precise, but any help would be appreciated.
#193045 to #193044 - anon (14 hours ago) [-]
I'd say try a few different classes to see which on you like working with the most.
I always thought I was going to be a physical therapist but after taking a welding class, I found I like doing that a lot more. You really need to experience each one and find out what you enjoy personally. You might hate programming and love biology.
#193037 - anon (15 hours ago) [-]
broke up with my ex and a year after they're calling me tell me to take them back

(they were flirting and I broke up with them and then 1 week after they found a new person and then broke up with them or they dumped them, who knows. I had a feeling they were cheating but I found out after I broke up with them)

Of course I'm not but, how to do I get them to piss off? I told them twice to cut it and they don't, along with that they just keep talking about stupid shit to in efforts to piss me off. Do I ignore them next time or do something else?
User avatar #193043 to #193037 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (14 hours ago) [-]
Are we talking multiple women here because you're saying they're?
User avatar #193047 to #193043 - whathaveyoudone (13 hours ago) [-]
they were siamese
User avatar #193031 - joshualegitsky (18 hours ago) [-]
I've thought about the same person everyday for the past three months. Is that a bad thing. I don't try to, it just happens and its only for a up to around 40 seconds but it has been months of that.
User avatar #193050 to #193031 - joshualegitsky (12 hours ago) [-]
A friend that's a girl
User avatar #193039 to #193031 - headlessmamii (15 hours ago) [-]
Who is this person to you? EX, Friend?
User avatar #193051 to #193039 - joshualegitsky (12 hours ago) [-]
A friend that's a girl, I might have feelings for her
User avatar #193064 to #193051 - supahsayin (8 hours ago) [-]
Analyze the situation. Ask yourself, what is my actual relationship with this person? An aqcuaintance, a friend? Then ask yourself how many successful, funny, or pleasant moments you've had with this person? How many things in common you have with her? Do you actually KNOW her?( ive asked myself what shit I got in common with a girl and realized I don't know what the fuck she does. Saved me some grief.)Then, finally, AFTER you've asked the prior questions, do you have the charm to get into a relationship with this person? Do you have what she wants? Usually, it's someone with confidence, 'presence' in the room, signs that you're well off, and that you take care of yourself and are more than capable of taking care of someone else.
That's a basic checklist.
User avatar #193066 to #193064 - joshualegitsky (3 hours ago) [-]
Thanks, well done advice right there
User avatar #193030 - mcdonaldsexplain (19 hours ago) [-]
somebody spare a webm of the guy riding a lawnmower pointing a gun at police?
User avatar #193014 - brownskin (23 hours ago) [-]
Ordered lotr extended edition box set because I lost mine when I moved in with my gf. (Ps professional movers aren't the best idea) But Amazon fucked up my order so bad that they gave me free one day shipping and $20 off on my next order. So, fj. Dubs decides what I buy. Must be on Amazon and no more than $30
User avatar #193028 to #193014 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (20 hours ago) [-]
**StewieGGriffin used "*roll 1, 00-99*"**
**StewieGGriffin rolls 44** $30 worth of cheetos.
User avatar #193032 to #193028 - brownskin (17 hours ago) [-]
You cheeky fucker
User avatar #193049 to #193032 - braveblue (13 hours ago) [-]
Better fucking deliver, I'll be waiting.
User avatar #193029 to #193028 - braveblue (20 hours ago) [-]
Damn dude you should have done something that would have been so useless to him instantly. No ones gonna eat 30 dollars worth of peanut butter in a day its gonna take this motherfucker only a week to eat his 30dollars worth of cheetos
User avatar #193042 to #193029 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (14 hours ago) [-]
I know he won't eat it within the expiration time, im evil.
User avatar #193020 to #193014 - braveblue (22 hours ago) [-]
**braveblue used "*roll 1, 00-99*"**
**braveblue rolls 01**
30 dollars worth of peanut butter
User avatar #193022 to #193020 - brownskin (22 hours ago) [-]
Can you buy peanut butter on amazon?
User avatar #193026 to #193022 - braveblue (21 hours ago) [-]
Yeah.
User avatar #193012 - misscleoisotaku (23 hours ago) [-]
Is it normal to feel addicted to a certain person? Like, you get very moody and depressed when they're not around. All you can think about is this person.

It also sucks because this person is currently in a long-distance relationship, and basically uses you as a glorified sex toy. Supposedly the partner is okay with this person doing physical things outside of the relationship, since it IS long distance, as long as no emotional stuff develops.

I just want it to be.... more. But I won't try to destroy a relationship.
So I'm sitting here being conflicted, begging for these stupid feelings to go away so I can be content. Not really asking for advice, because I know it'll be along the lines of "cut off all ties". I know that already. I'm trying. It just hurts to do so.
#193025 to #193012 - anon (21 hours ago) [-]
If this person is in a relationship with somebody but uses you for sexual reasons, that person is a trashy person and you shouldn't feel bad

But I'm familiar with the feelings of addiction, and the feelings of being in love with a slut.
User avatar #193015 to #193012 - durkadurka (23 hours ago) [-]
It's all chemicals in your brain. There's not much you can really do about that.
#193006 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
eeeey
#192977 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
Lol. Honestly man, racial harassment and just straight up cunty ass people on here are getting out of hand and Mods do not care because they usually are a part of it. Yeah you clammy white guys probably don't care because all you guys care about is my little pony but fuck sometimes i just want to go on fj with out people being racist towards me. That would be dope.
User avatar #193033 to #192977 - thematthew (17 hours ago) [-]
you know what they say "when a hole bunch of people start acting like idiots, sooner or later they will have actual idiots join them.

don't let it bother you
#193027 to #192977 - anon (21 hours ago) [-]
they're just mad that their white women cheat on them for big black cock
#193011 to #192977 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Then leave?
We don't need wetbacks, chinks, niggers, kikes, redskins, polacks, krauts, crackers, brownies, sandniggers, slantyeyes, frogs, sheepfuckers, or anybody else on this site. All this site needs is admin.
#193005 to #192977 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Not trying to blame you here, but why do you keep coming back if it's this bad?
User avatar #193004 to #192977 - sugoi (08/02/2015) [-]
Have you tried blocking literally everyone?
#193000 to #192977 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
S-STOP RACIAL HARASSMENT PLS :'( M-MUH FEELINGS
Soft cock. How have you lasted for so long on this site nigger?
User avatar #192996 to #192977 - braveblue (08/02/2015) [-]
I'm not racist but you're a nigger welcome to Funnyjunk.
User avatar #192980 to #192977 - alexanderburns ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
have you tried not being black
User avatar #192978 to #192977 - dreygur ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
Honestly that's kind of the thing with this site. Any insult towards race is usually just a joke, and you'll spot when they're actually serious about it. Always been like that, always will be.

If you want to find sites with stricter rules, try finding certain subreddits to your interest.
User avatar #192979 to #192978 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
Nah shouldn't have to deal with that shit. Knowing your average fj user, danmegaflakes was jealous of my big black cock. Lolololol. I don't even know this guy, but everytime soemone finds out my race they feel the need to:
(1: Block Me
(2: Send me a message that usually says nigger or just some stupid ass unoriginal insult about my race.
(3: Randomly start rambling off at me about poverty in Africa when i could give less of a fuck.
Honestly just tired of fucking socially awkward losers on this site who get bullied at school so they come on funnyjunk and say stupid ass shit to people. Most insecure people ever are on funnyjunk. Seriously wonder why i even like/use this site but i am just as addicted as any of you other fuckers.
User avatar #192983 to #192979 - icefried (08/02/2015) [-]
quit being such a faggot
#193016 to #192983 - durkadurka (23 hours ago) [-]
Autism levels off the fucking charts.
User avatar #192984 to #192983 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
Lol okay man. If calling someone a faggot makes you feel better about not getting laid, than ok.
User avatar #192985 to #192984 - icefried (08/02/2015) [-]
Annoying little cunt, ain't you?
I really don't get how you could be on this site so long and still be this fucking clueless.

Probably because you're a brainless nig nog, i'd wager
User avatar #192986 to #192985 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
First off, i am 6 feet tall and weigh 170, i'd break your ankles in 10 seconds if you played me in a pick up game. On top of that, you probably a fat mother fucker who plays call of duty all day in ya mom's crib. Also my accumulative gpa is 3.8 and i made honor roll at my community college twice. If anybody is annoying it's your lame ass. You probably got bullied by a black person in high school for being a pussy so instead of doing something about it you went on /pol/ and started saying stupid racist shit. Yeah there are a million other helpless cunts just like you who have no social life. You just another fish who won't accept the water.
User avatar #192987 to #192986 - icefried (08/02/2015) [-]
gahahaha

My god do i not care, you dimwitted ape. Are all niggers this stupid and insecure?
User avatar #192988 to #192987 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
I ain't insecure. I Have a lot more values than you, and i am not talking about physical things. I have a baby on the way and when he comes of age i will have to explain to him about folks like you who are insecure on the inside so instead of getting help or manning up they go around calling people faggots, niggers, apes, etc. You are no different than any other dude on funnyjunk. Honestly don't know why tf i go on this site, i just like to post content i don't really like to get involved with all the stupid comments people make but sometimes i have to.
User avatar #193036 to #192988 - awesomerninjathing (16 hours ago) [-]
ay ma dude since when do you have a baby on the way?
User avatar #193038 to #193036 - xxkosukexx (15 hours ago) [-]
NAH I LIED TO MAKE HIM FEEL GUILTY MWAHAHAHAHA
User avatar #193041 to #193038 - awesomerninjathing (15 hours ago) [-]
lmaooooo fantastic
User avatar #192989 to #192988 - icefried (08/02/2015) [-]
Man i hope your kid will have thicker skin than you do, because holy shit are you a whiny little bitch.
User avatar #192990 to #192989 - xxkosukexx (08/02/2015) [-]
I am a "whiney little bitch" because I can't share my race or heritage on funnyjunk with out someone making stupid comment about my race. I used to think racism was barely even a thing until I started seeing the shit FJers say.
User avatar #192992 to #192990 - icefried (08/02/2015) [-]
Niggerz Bop   DuckTales Theme Song
m..kay
I honestly couldn't care less about your plight.
The only reason why i'm even replying is that it's fun reading your moronic reactions.
So please do.

Oh, and have this.
User avatar #193035 to #192992 - awesomerninjathing (16 hours ago) [-]
jesus christ you're stupid
User avatar #193002 to #192992 - welliguessitsaname (08/02/2015) [-]
"The only reason why i'm even replying is that it's fun reading your moronic reactions."

okay buddy
User avatar #192991 to #192990 - youngneil (08/02/2015) [-]
Do you actually legitimately care about things strangers on the internet say?
#192993 to #192991 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Most of the time, no. When it comes to something vital and sensitive like my race, fuck yeah i do. It just makes me mad how white folk are all lovey dovey and nice to your face but once yall get online you guuys feel free to go around saying racist, sexist, pretty much just offensive shit and it is mostly (pretty much only) white people who fill the need to express views like that. ~ xxkosukexx
User avatar #193003 to #192993 - welliguessitsaname (08/02/2015) [-]
Nah, that's not how it is. You only see it on the internet because those people don't go outside.

Source: I sit in my mom's basement and say mean things to people over the internet all day.
#192982 to #192979 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Nigger
User avatar #192953 - gypsydude (08/02/2015) [-]
I meet a girl on tinder and shes coming to my place tomorrow for a movie night and might sleep in my bed with me. Should I get condoms just incase? I never got condoms, before and dont know what size i need or how to put one on. Can anyone give me advice?
User avatar #193034 to #192953 - delphine (16 hours ago) [-]
Definitely. ESPECIALLY if you're hooking up with a girl on you just met on Tinder. Don't be silly, protect your willie. Besides, if she is expecting it, she will also probably expect you to have them.
User avatar #193013 to #192953 - brownskin (23 hours ago) [-]
She might sleep in your bed and you aren't sure if you'll need a condom? Did you meet her on tinder or on christianmingle.com ? She's probably expecting to plow bruv
#193007 to #192953 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Yes but only use it if you need it. Also, put it somewhere in the room and not your wallet.
User avatar #192994 to #192953 - assyria (08/02/2015) [-]
go with normal size, and she'll probably put it on.
i haven't put a condom on in probably six months, my girlfriend always does that.
i dont know if i still can put one on
User avatar #192961 to #192953 - dreygur ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
Hold the small tip with your fingers so there's no air in it before putting the condom on. After putting it on the tip of the sausage, just roll it all the way down gently.
#192972 to #192961 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
What happens if you leave the air?
User avatar #192974 to #192972 - dreygur ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
Higher chance of the condom not doing its job properly, I've heard.
User avatar #192955 to #192953 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
As long as your weiner is within 5-7in you should just get the normal condems that don't say small or large on them because you're within the average. Also always get condoms when a girl is staying over, just remember foreplays important too.
User avatar #192958 to #192955 - gypsydude (08/02/2015) [-]
Thanks
#192952 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
I am really shit with conversation, probably because i've spent most of my life alone in my room not talking to many people.

ive had a decent number of guy friends in the past buy really i havent had a single girl that i could call a friend ( im a guy btw )

but yeah even with guys i can hardly converse well.

any tips?
User avatar #192995 to #192952 - assyria (08/02/2015) [-]
if you feel the conversation going down, change the topic. to anything.
if you say "it's a really nice day out " and she says "hahah yeah", say something like "i just saw a huge fucking spider holy shit"
something interesting that will spark a response
it works every time
#192981 to #192952 - minutes ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
It's really no different than any other skill. Practice and experience my friend. Go out at any occasion, leave your comfort zone once in a while and always try to talk to new people. It will be hard of course, you'll feel like an idiot from time to time cause you fuck up, but in the end you'll only get better through mistakes.

User avatar #192945 - sideism ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
recently I read that semen is good for your skin, does anybody have experience with this and can give me advice before I do it?
#192971 to #192945 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
even if it was true would you put cum in your face?
User avatar #192975 to #192971 - confusedasian (08/02/2015) [-]
It actually is. Semen (not the actual sperm. Just the liquid part.) has a lot of stuff that can help clean your skin and shit, but lemons can be just as effective if not better from what I've researched.
User avatar #193010 to #192975 - sideism ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
but semen is free tho
User avatar #193021 to #193010 - confusedasian (22 hours ago) [-]
its weird tho.
#192944 - Metallicock (08/02/2015) [-]
My gf is way more sexually and socially (parties pretty much) experienced than me and it makes me feel really inferior. I never got to do any of those things and she says shes kinda glad I didn't. I know getting shit faced and having blackout drunk nights aren't fun, but I still wish I had those experiences. She also swears that I'm the best she's ever had and the only one who ever even got her close to orgasm, but that doesn't really make me feel any better.

Why does this bother me so much?
#193008 to #192944 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
The past is the past and the now is all that matters.
#192960 to #192944 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
replied to the wrong one, mah bad.
User avatar #192954 to #192944 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
It bothers you because I think she really likes you and you don't think you're good enough for her. It shouldn't bother you, but just because it does, that doesn't mean you have to change. It seems like she likes you as is, not all girls like bad boys.
#192959 to #192954 - anon (08/02/2015) [-]
Your girlfriend is more "experienced" than you. It's sort of a cuck for lack of the better term. You two aren't on the same level sexually and historically and it really bothers you, what is really going on is that you are both settling, except you are settling harder than she is and you know that. You got the former slut, the one who wants to "settle down" because that part of her life is "over." You aren't her wild animal fuck, you're the husband and provider who she chooses when her wild days are over. Well the past may be the past, but it's always relevant. It's definitely not a non-issue and a persons past will ALWAYS be important.

Honestly, you are living my nightmare. That being said, please for the sake of my sanity just dump her. Least she was honest with ya though. Gotta give her props for that.
User avatar #193024 to #192959 - Metallicock (22 hours ago) [-]
Nah, thats not it
#192940 - murrlogic ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
Usually I am not the kind of asshole to ask the standard question "What is the meaning of life? Why are we here? what is our purpose? is everything random and meaningless?

I like to interpret it as "If you find a niche you're good at then that is your purpose and you found it on your own which further proves the point."

The two things I have realized I am experienced in are "Being a foster parent." and "Creating comics and artwork w/ friends and business acquaintances"

So that is what I have boiled it down to and simplified to my understanding. The boundaries of this? Everything else

To fight them is but a mere factor of survival and endless waiting. For there is no way to win but a 100 ways to lose.
#192935 - alucardhellsing (08/02/2015) [-]
>me
>have the bad habit of always getting sleepy when reading
>nighttime
>can't sleep
>open a book
>actually turns out to be really interesting

So what do I do? How do I get myself to sleep?
User avatar #193017 to #192935 - brownskin (23 hours ago) [-]
Have you ever seen the movie "Saving Private Ryan"? There is a scene in it where Casey Affleck's character says that in order to fall asleep faster, he lies in bed, in the dark, and holds his eyes open and tries to stay awake as long as possible. He is asleep withing minutes, he says. I figured it was bullshit but I tried it a couple of years ago and it's been my go to method ever since. Works 100%
User avatar #192956 to #192935 - StewieGGriffin ONLINE (08/02/2015) [-]
Read the terms and services.
User avatar #192938 to #192935 - supahsayin (08/02/2015) [-]
Read either a slightly boring or informative book. I uh, indefinitely borrowed some extra workbooks from my high school before I graduated, and I'm just working through old courses before I (try to) go to bed.
User avatar #192939 to #192938 - alucardhellsing (08/02/2015) [-]
It's not working man. I just... Don't know anymore. I'm damned.
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