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#1908 - wedgie
Reply +1
(06/29/2014) [-]
I plan on buying a fleshlight tomorrow.
#1682 - mcstorms
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I made myself dumber so i could happier like all the idiots i saw in highschool. it worked for the most part.
#1658 - stankybutt
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
My butt isn't actually that stanky
#1557 - bighairyfart
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I was phone.
#1466 - jacobomexicano
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
I'm a highly functioning sociopath who would gladly tell his girlfriend to **** off and the only reason he doesn't is that he thinks she will kill herself, making him responsible
#1473 to #1466 - gramernazi
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
Wouldn't you not care?
#1477 to #1473 - jacobomexicano
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
I wouldn't, but I don't need to go to jail for manslaughter
#1482 to #1477 - gramernazi
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
I don't know why I'm trying to talk you into making your girlfriend kill herself, but I'm pretty sure you wouldn't be held responsible. Don't be so hard on yourself buddy!
#1484 to #1482 - jacobomexicano
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
lol thanks. here's a gif of a fox
lol thanks. here's a gif of a fox
#1491 to #1484 - gramernazi
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
**gramernazi rolled image** You're welcome. Here's something too!
**gramernazi rolled image** You're welcome. Here's something too!
#1343 - aviators
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I would be playing Dark souls 2 right now but i'm waiting for my cousin to get up and shower so i can spy on her.
#1211 - dinonator
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
i think admin is a huge faggot. im scared hell ban me so ill anonymously say it
#1241 to #1211 - thasuperpimp
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
You're not anon buddy
#1206 - RlCK
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
**RlCK rolls 79** I can believe it's not butter..
#1201 - zamka
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#1212 to #1201 - dinonator
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
#1127 - killermuffin
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I'm not really a killer muffin... I'm a cupcake without frosting.
#993 - atma
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
sometimes at night I like to put pillows in my shirt and pretend I have huge tits
#1005 to #993 - rangotherabbit
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I'm not the only one then.
Didn't think so.
On a related note what pillows do you use?
i find that two small pillows are too hard to manage, one big one doesn't give a very good shape but is easy to work with.


#1020 to #1005 - atma
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
Eh, flip back and forth to experiment, I have these two "memory foam" sorts of pillows that are just the right size to fit side-by-side so those seem to work the best  :B
Eh, flip back and forth to experiment, I have these two "memory foam" sorts of pillows that are just the right size to fit side-by-side so those seem to work the best :B
#955 - sparkyoneonetwo
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I"m addicted to stealing things. I take things from my friends houses and then return them like a week later just to see if they notice
#950 - smuph
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
One summer I spent three weeks (like every day or two within those weeks) masturbating by shoving a chocolate bar known here as "Boost" up my ass and jerking my rubber chicken. Boost consists of one layer of chocolate, caramel and then some nougat. At the anus was growing hair like there was no tomorrow. Thus afterwards I would shamefully hose my ass down to get rid of the caramel sticking to my butt pubes only to repeat the process two days or so later.
#973 to #950 - anon
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
HEATHEN, boosts are ******* delicious...
#977 to #973 - smuph
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I didn't say I didn't eat them afterwards...
#782 - higaphix
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I still love my ex and sometimes pretend she's still staying in the guestroon at my house
#762 - iprochaosangel
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I accidently made a kid become crazy, attempt suicide, put into a asylum, and now i dont even know where he is.
#774 to #762 - mrlego
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
"accidentally"
#964 to #762 - Gandalfthewhite
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
how the **** can you do that accidentally?
#1424 to #964 - iprochaosangel
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
well he wasnt stable in the first place so i guess it was like i was the final straw... its too long and a rather boring story
#572 - omglolwtflmao
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I faked all of my orgasms.
#414 - ishitniggers
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
it wasnt colonel mustard. i did it
#400 - zocard ONLINE
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
I mastered lucid dreaming a year or two back, and I've done so many ****** up and twisted things that I wouldn't be able to list all of them If I spent the next week doing so...

Example A: I would go out to the mall and try to remember as many faces as possible and then **** every single one of them in my dream I even gave a few of them some fetishes I thought they might have. such as bondage, incest, and rape. Near the end I could remember around 50 - 75 different people at one time but would soon forget the majority the morning after unless the sex with that one was really good, and then if it was really good I would remember them and kinda have them develop their own personality I would make for them

I don't do this particular thing anymore but I still lucid dream a lot.
#979 to #400 - Gandalfthewhite
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
tell me how, i came so close to lucid dreaming the other day and i really need to know how
#1143 to #979 - zocard ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
eventually after about a week how long it took me idk if it's different for other people you should be able to start lucid dreams at will.

P.S. time can either be a lot slower in dreams or a lot faster. eventually after about like a year you can kinda control which, but it's pretty difficult and can give you headaches in the morning. : I
#1139 to #979 - zocard ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
How to control it? It's not really that hard, It's mostly just an act of willpower and paying attention to your surroundings / knowing things like, giant monsters do not attack me in particular in real life or that building just turned into a cat, barked and proceeded to fly into the sunset and that's weird. basically just pay more attention to your surrounding when awake and you will do it in your dream and increase the chances of it becoming lucid.
#465 to #400 - darksideofthebeast
Reply +1
(06/28/2014) [-]
That's normal for lucid dreaming.
#490 to #465 - zocard ONLINE
Reply 0
(06/28/2014) [-]
That was one of the calmer ones of the bunch unfortunately...
#236 - sksyslses
Reply +1
(06/27/2014) [-]
I cheated on my girlfriend when she was away.
#155 - krynax
Reply +1
(06/27/2014) [-]
I'm straight