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User avatar #526 - comicallymorbid (06/29/2013) [-]
So I was talking to my girlfriend about nicknames the other day, and I say, "You know what? I think I'm gonna call you Bambi."
"Why is it because of my beautiful eyes?"
"No, because I killed your mother."

How to you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender.
How do you get them out again? DORITOS

Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? She had no arms.

Why don't Jews shower? They aren't falling for that one again!

What's the difference between a group of boy scouts and a group of Jews? The boy scouts came back from camp.

Yesterday, I told my friend that I wanted to ride that thing from Harry Potter.
He said "What, the broom?"
"No, Hermione."

My son's school phoned the police because I was recording the school nativity play with a video camera. How was I meant to know It's illegal to film the kids in the changing rooms?

The Mccann's are trying to relieve themselves from there grief with a holiday in Las Vegas. Gerry Mccann forced a shy smile and quipped to reporters as he got on the plane "What goes on in Vegas, Stays in Vegas"
Yes Gerry and apparently what goes to Portugal stays in Portugal.


#489 - modernclassmusic (06/28/2013) [-]
how many babies does it take to paint a house red...   
   
depends how hard you throw them
how many babies does it take to paint a house red...

depends how hard you throw them
#343 - DoktorHax (06/28/2013) [-]
whats do you call a baby with a broken jaw?



Deepthroat
User avatar #322 - alltimetens (06/28/2013) [-]
How do you circumcise a hill-billy?




You kick his sister in the jaw.
User avatar #321 - afrosquid (06/28/2013) [-]
What's the best thing about an Ethiopian blowjob?
She always swallows
User avatar #293 - bighairyfart (06/28/2013) [-]
If two Asians have a retarded baby, what do they name it?

Sum Ting Wong
User avatar #281 - nighthawxx (06/28/2013) [-]
where did the little girl go when the bomb went off?
everywhere
#274 - queefquizzler (06/28/2013) [-]
What do you call a lonely student?   
A survivor of Sandy Hook Elementary School.   
   
What do I call a girl that can run faster than me?   
A virgin.   
   
How do you get a black man down from a tree?   
Cut the rope.   
   
What do you do when a 			********		 bleeding out on your front lawn?   
Stop laughing and reload.   
   
What do a Jew and a Ferrari have in common?   
They both scream when you turn on the gas.   
   
Why are the palms of 			********		 hands white?   
There's a little bit of good in everyone.   
   
These are mostly racist not brutal
What do you call a lonely student?
A survivor of Sandy Hook Elementary School.

What do I call a girl that can run faster than me?
A virgin.

How do you get a black man down from a tree?
Cut the rope.

What do you do when a ******** bleeding out on your front lawn?
Stop laughing and reload.

What do a Jew and a Ferrari have in common?
They both scream when you turn on the gas.

Why are the palms of ******** hands white?
There's a little bit of good in everyone.

These are mostly racist not brutal
#203 - starrk (06/27/2013) [-]
How do you know your sister is on her period?

Your dad's dick tastes like blood.
#189 - johnnygat (06/27/2013) [-]
Not really a joke but...
#158 - akatsukipain (06/27/2013) [-]
womens rights
#38 - ceratosaurus (06/27/2013) [-]
How do you make a baby float?

take your foot off its head
User avatar #372 - ThickMcRunFast (06/28/2013) [-]
What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

******* .
User avatar #360 - scotlandhome (06/28/2013) [-]
A baby seal walks into a club...
User avatar #310 - masterfaps (06/28/2013) [-]
What breaks if you give it to a four year old?

Her pelvis.
#306 - tmdarby ONLINE (06/28/2013) [-]
what do you call an empty beer can in the ditch
an indian artifact

what do you call a full beer can in the ditch
a RARE indian artifact
User avatar #160 - Kaelus (06/27/2013) [-]
Why do black people only have nightmares?


Because we shot the only one who had a dream.
#126 - ctenop (06/27/2013) [-]
A woman has a baby, after several hours of not being allowed to see it, the doctor comes in. The doctors says "We have some good news, and some bad news". "Well, tell me the bad news first" the woman says. The doctor replies "Bad news, your baby is ginger, good news is that it's dead"
#105 - ariusbrightwing (06/27/2013) [+] (2 replies)
How many babies does it take to paint a house?
Depends how hard ya throw 'em.

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?
You take your boots off to jump on a trampoline.

HOOSTA GOOSTA YA HOOHAMS.
#95 - dameush (06/27/2013) [-]
why did suzy fall off the swing? she didn't have any arms.
knock knock? Who's there? not Suzy
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