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User avatar #367 - totsandtaters (06/28/2013) [-]
Stereo-typical joke time!
A Jew and a Czech were walking in the woods, when a bear came out of no where and attacked the two men. The Czech was eaten but the Jew escaped with his life. He then ran to the nearest town and went to the sheriff for help. The sheriff only had to ask him one question: "Was the bear a male or a female?" The Jew said "It was a male" So the police force searched the woods and found two bears, a male and a female. So they caught the male, cut him open, but found no human remains. The female bear ran away and the murder case was never solved. Moral of the story? Never trust a Jew when he says "The Check is in the mail"
User avatar #494 - slimtotheshady (06/28/2013) [-]
What's harder than nailing a baby to a wall?

My dick while I'm doing it.
#424 - yunnie (06/28/2013) [-]
MFW i see the comments below
#385 - brokenboulevard (06/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Q: Why did sally fall off the swing?   
A:  She had no arms.   
   
-Knock-Knock.   
-Who's there?   
-Not Sally.
Q: Why did sally fall off the swing?
A: She had no arms.

-Knock-Knock.
-Who's there?
-Not Sally.
User avatar #370 - sharksloveme (06/28/2013) [+] (2 replies)
What's the difference between a nipple and a dickhead?

Nothing, according to my three month old son.
User avatar #319 - umadbroseph (06/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
My sex life
#298 - tmdarby (06/28/2013) [-]
what do Mexicans and cue balls have in common?   
   
the harder you hit them, the better English they have.
what do Mexicans and cue balls have in common?

the harder you hit them, the better English they have.
#269 - wings (06/28/2013) [-]
whats the difference between a bunch of jews and a bunch of boyscouts?   
   
   
boyscouts come back from camp.
whats the difference between a bunch of jews and a bunch of boyscouts?


boyscouts come back from camp.
User avatar #257 - superbigfupa (06/28/2013) [-]
A black boy walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, “Look Mama, I’m a white boy!” His mother smacks him and says, “Go tell your Daddy what you just said!” The boy finds his father and says, “Look Daddy, I’m a white boy!” His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, “Now, what do you have to say for yourself?” The boy replies, “I’ve only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!”
#216 - pikininja (06/27/2013) [-]
What's red and smells like blue paint?




Red paint.
User avatar #52 - hairymanbeast (06/27/2013) [-]
What is the difference between a baby and a sandwich? You don't **** a sandwich before you eat it.
What's the difference between a baby and a refrigerator? The refrigerator doesn't cry when daddy puts his meat in it.
What goes Waaaah *crack* waaaaaah *crack*? A baby getting fisted.
User avatar #12 - dirtyheron (06/27/2013) [-]
How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?



its not hard
#496 - hubajuju (06/28/2013) [-]
So Jesus and Moses are hanging around at a beach in heaven. Its been a long day and they're both bored so they decide to have a miracle-off. Moses turns to Jesus and says "I got this Jesus, check this out." And he turns, spreads his hands and the water in front of them parts. Jesus scoffs "Yeah, I've seen that one before. It's good but check this out." Jesus walks down to the lake, takes one...two steps on the surface of the water and then falls in. Jesus swims back to shore and says "Crap, sorry, give me another shot at it." This time Jesus walks down to the lake, takes one...two...three steps on the surface of the water and falls in. Again Jesus swims back to shore and says "Ok, give me one more try." Moses agrees and Jesus walks down to the lake, takes one...two...three...four steps on the surface of the water and falls in again. Jesus makes his way back to Moses and says " **** , you know what it is? I didn't have these holes in my feet the last time I did this."
User avatar #426 - crazybastard (06/28/2013) [-]
What's the difference between a dead baby and a sports car?

I've never been inside a sports car
User avatar #350 - JMF (06/28/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Knock knock.
Who's there?
George Zimmerman.
George Zimmerman, who?
Good, you're on the jury.
User avatar #328 - plasmaballs (06/28/2013) [-]
A man was ******* a girl and he said, "turn over, i want to **** you in the ass." she then said, "that's pretty presumptuous of you." The man replied, "presumptuous? That's a pretty big word for an 8 year old."
User avatar #98 - mrsteamer (06/27/2013) [-]
What do you call a 6 year old with no friends?
A sand hook survivor......
User avatar #34 - exitus (06/27/2013) [+] (1 reply)
What´s the difference between a baby and a toaster?

The toaster doesn´t screem when you stick a fork in it.
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