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#1 - afewasianbitches
Reply +217
(05/02/2013) [-]
I would just scream at the top of my lungs and hopefully make everyone question their sanity.
#34 to #1 - darkcomy
-1
has deleted their comment [-]
#38 to #34 - coolcalx
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
you're God. a minute in God years isn't a minute in human years.

besides, he's probably got everyone on conference call
#16 to #1 - Kallie
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
Oh man, that actually made me laugh. Brilliant idea!
#80 to #1 - xmetalskullx
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
Thanks for the laugh.
#68 - lorkhan ONLINE
Reply +168
(05/03/2013) [-]
I would say "The atheists are right."
#221 to #68 - anon
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
man, it sure is a good thing their not
#164 to #68 - heyimgrump
Reply +4
(05/03/2013) [-]
mass confusion
mass confusion
#109 to #68 - fedexman
Reply +12
(05/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#10 - gladiator
Reply +165
(05/03/2013) [-]
raise your hands into the air to send me your energy, the fate of the world depends on it

or

dont be alarmed, right now i'm speaking directly to you and no one else can hear me, but you cant tell them because they'll think you're crazy..
#205 to #10 - kasperninja
Reply +2
(05/03/2013) [-]
#126 to #10 - ghirahn
Reply +4
(05/03/2013) [-]
TAKE WHAT YOU NEED GOKU!
#11 to #10 - lupislord
Reply +8
(05/03/2013) [-]
#17 - motherfuckingkenji
Reply +125
(05/03/2013) [-]
"You know something, Joseph... I think it's about time to crash the planet into the sun. I mean it this time! All those humans make me sick, especially the ones with vaginas.
What?
The microphone's still on?
OH SHI-"
#39 to #17 - coolcalx
Reply +9
(05/03/2013) [-]
>humans with vaginas   
isn't there a word for those people?
>humans with vaginas
isn't there a word for those people?
#203 to #39 - bateking
Reply -1
(05/03/2013) [-]
People ? Do they really qualify as "people"
#22 - theroflcer ONLINE
Reply +96
(05/03/2013) [-]
<--- How much **** would go down if I said this?
#148 to #22 - anon
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
all the **** storms
#171 to #22 - ICEDgrunge
Reply +4
(05/03/2013) [-]
#41 - ettne
Reply +88
(05/03/2013) [-]
#5 - tittylovin
+59
has deleted their comment [-]
#48 - odytoboman
Reply +53
(05/03/2013) [-]
&quot;This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy will require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you.&quot;   
   
Pause for a few seconds.   
   
“There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now. … What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”
"This is Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz of the Galactic Hyperspace Planning Council. As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy will require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you."

Pause for a few seconds.

“There’s no point in acting surprised about it. All the planning charts and demolition orders have been on display at your local planning department in Alpha Centauri for 50 of your Earth years, so you've had plenty of time to lodge any formal complaint and it’s far too late to start making a fuss about it now. … What do you mean you've never been to Alpha Centauri? Oh, for heaven’s sake, mankind, it’s only four light years away, you know. I’m sorry, but if you can’t be bothered to take an interest in local affairs, that’s your own lookout. Energize the demolition beams.”
#91 to #48 - BurntBiscuits
Reply +5
(05/03/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#42 - wazzup
Reply +50
(05/03/2013) [-]
"I'd like to play a game. Everyone around you is playing. Look how they've all paused to listen. The last man standing goes to heaven. The rest are damned to remain in hell. Let the games begin."
#70 to #42 - anon
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
this would just cause the earth to become what it already is... With more Hitlers.
#113 to #42 - anon
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
I just did math for you, be happy.
#15 - pheonixinstinct
Reply +37
(05/03/2013) [-]
wake up, this isnt real, your in a coma.

it would always bother everyone
#152 to #15 - danrmanalt
Reply +4
(05/03/2013) [-]
Oh no, not my in a coma!
#225 to #152 - pheonixinstinct
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
i know the difference...what i have i done?! im sorry...
#115 - legalloli
Reply +36
(05/03/2013) [-]
"Wake up."

"Please, you have to wake up."
#118 to #115 - lordlucifer [OP] ONLINE
Reply +5
(05/03/2013) [-]
My thoughts exactly
#155 - noutvissers
Reply +34
(05/03/2013) [-]
'Half-life 3 confirmed'
What a ********* that'd cause.
#103 - HolyDiver
Reply +30
(05/03/2013) [-]
In that minute I would just whistle and then at the end I would say oranges
In that minute I would just whistle and then at the end I would say oranges
#95 - roofeeoh
Reply +28
(05/03/2013) [-]
>be god
>walk up to athiest sitting at table outside of restaurant
>eat a french fry off of his plate
>"nobody is going to believe you"
>walk away
>mfw
#135 - IcRetoast
Reply +22
(05/03/2013) [-]
Wait, if I were God why would I have to obey a time limit? I would just keep talking for hours and tell everyone to **** themselves because I'm God bitch
Wait, if I were God why would I have to obey a time limit? I would just keep talking for hours and tell everyone to **** themselves because I'm God bitch
#199 to #135 - allion
Reply 0
(05/03/2013) [-]
I love this
#20 - derpyllama
Reply +22
(05/03/2013) [-]
I would sing Heyyeyaaeyaaaeyaeyaa ya to them all.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZ5LpwO-An4

#98 - trollmobile
Reply +19
(05/03/2013) [-]
"the next 5 million people to hurt another person, will be instaintly smitten"

>watch the whole world be really really nice, and really really carefull for weeks
#117 - sirfisticuffs
Reply +15
(05/03/2013) [-]
I'd say it's actually Wingardium Leviosuhhhh. Riots ensue.
#97 - egotistical
Reply +14
(05/03/2013) [-]
Username 100% relevant
Username 100% relevant
#116 to #97 - lordlucifer [OP] ONLINE
Reply +1
(05/03/2013) [-]
Tehe
#150 - unncommon
Reply +9
(05/03/2013) [-]
"At least I'm safe inside my mind..."

Followed by 55 seconds of heavy breathing.