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User avatar #19 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
>Biology Class
>something around 9th grade (im from germany)
>teacher tells us to microscope our saliva
>one girl starts yelling
>"OMG somethings moving here!"
>teacher goes there
>looks at it
>"yeah thats defiantly definitely a living sperm cell"
>girl wasn't seen the next 2 weeks
#23 to #19 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
Hallo mein name is Daniel, ich komme aus Australien. Ich bin ein austauschuler in Deutschland, ich kann nicht gut Deutsch gemacht weil ich habe null 3 monaten heir gewohnt. Ich möchte sage dass, ich leibe Deutschland es ist so toll.
#26 to #23 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
no, were not burning the jews again, stop suggesting it
User avatar #208 to #26 - truebell (04/11/2013) [-]
dude really. Du bist ein blödest amerikaner
#140 to #19 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
Where's defiantly when you need him?
User avatar #156 to #19 - rockamekishiko ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
i've seen that joke every time someone reposts this
#166 to #19 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
did that happen? did it really?
User avatar #177 to #19 - ImsoObvious (04/11/2013) [-]
couldnt be anymore ********
User avatar #29 to #19 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
God damn it. I want this to happed to my school.
Who am I kidding. We already did saliva. ******* dry maths and words.

BUT CUTTING UP A PIG EYE? SURE THING.
Still grossed out.
User avatar #113 to #29 - capinsquiggles (04/11/2013) [-]
In my 12th grade Biology class last semester we dissected piglets, there was a kid in the middle of the class that cut off it's head, then sliced down it's stomach and turned the piglets body inside out, then he put the head back on the inside out body... it looked ****** up
User avatar #135 to #113 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Serious?
User avatar #152 to #135 - capinsquiggles (04/11/2013) [-]
Yea, my teacher didn't care because she was pretty awesome, a few weeks before we had cow hearts and she asked if anyone in the class knew how to juggle, someone raised their hands so my teacher tossed the girl 3 cow hearts and told her to juggle them, as she started to juggle the teacher said "WAIT! Let's go outside of the cooking class and gross them out!"
User avatar #211 to #152 - octaviano (04/12/2013) [-]
**** , I want a teach like that.
User avatar #81 to #29 - burningsmurfs (04/11/2013) [-]
Aw all we got to do were the frogs and sheep brains.
User avatar #83 to #81 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
BRAINS?
User avatar #87 to #83 - burningsmurfs (04/11/2013) [-]
Yeah it was quite boring, it looked like a long cauliflower and all there was to do really was look at the folds and what few different areas there were. We ended up playing with ours and then someone at our table smacked it off our table into a girl at the next table's leg and what ensued was much more interesting.
User avatar #88 to #87 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
How high did she scream?
#94 to #88 - burningsmurfs (04/11/2013) [-]
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
Oh god, she looked down at the brain, stared for at least 5 solid seconds then just pointed her mouth at the heavens and wailed like a banshee was escaping her. She just screamed while people covered their ears and jumped thinking someone must have died or something and I just watch her turn all kinds of funky colors and then she just shuts her eyes and face plants into the ground with the brain right under her stomach. I have no idea how we managed to convince them it was an accident but this was pretty much our faces the whole time.
User avatar #102 to #94 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
So she did the flop before it was cool?
That's a brainy hipster!


Jokes aside, I would probably go "GOD DAMN IT, JO, WHAT THE **** . I KNOW YOU LOST YOU BRAIN, BUT YOU CAN'T DROP ANOTHER ONE!"
User avatar #115 to #102 - burningsmurfs (04/11/2013) [-]
Nah we didn't shout anything stupid because our teacher told us if there was any ******* going on in any way this day we would regret it because the **** was expensive and etc. We didn't wanna **** with him because he was good at pranks and chemistry and probably would have made our underwear explode or something for messing around so we somehow managed to act like it was an accident.
User avatar #33 to #29 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
i hated the pig eye-part. i wasnt really that grossed out but all the girls in class were all crying and one was even vomiting.
User avatar #35 to #33 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Your class was a pussy class.
I was the most pussy person out of them all, but I was able to look.
THE DARKNESS INSIDE THE EYEEEE.
User avatar #36 to #35 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
yeah it was a pussy class, we were 8 guys and 20 girls.
User avatar #37 to #36 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Wow. Too much pussy.
We got 9 girls and 14 guys over here.
Anyways, what else did ya cut up?
Up to now, only Pig heart and Pig eye. (Me and my partner got a FRESH eye. Dead since less than a day. And hard as **** to cut.)
User avatar #38 to #37 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
just the eye. and that's the only thing we ever did in biology that wasn't just writing stuff or watching silly documentations. that's why i never liked biology class. chemistry and physics were more interesting.
User avatar #41 to #38 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Bitchdontgetmestartedaboutchemistyandphysics.
The last Semester, FFS.
Chemistry and Physics? DRYBONES IS A WET SEAL IN COMPERASITION.
Writing down, writing down. Meep.
(Chemisty was meh, poor teach. We only screwed around pretty much. Some even openly played iPods. Funfact: I got a better grade than the kid that I bet 50€ on that he buys his grades or his dad (another teach) buys them.)
My new Math teacher... got from an university. That ****** thinks we understand everything in an instance.
Easy things are alright, but seriously, we had to do every test TWICE we had with him because our grades got so bad.
Dude. The averange on a test about ROOT MATHMATICS was 4.25. One had a 2 (Same kid from above. I tell you, he somehow always gets an All-Grade-1 at the end of the year.), there was one 6, and rests were 4s and 5s.
That's what he gets when being in the middle of parable and writing a tests about pythagoras and getting the test about roots just the day before.
User avatar #44 to #41 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
well, i had such a math teacher once too. basicly the same happened as you said. no one understood like a single word he said.
i'm from northern germany but lived 1.5 years in south-west germany, went to school there and it's pretty different there. in the north, we made more experiments in chemistry and physics, was pretty fun and i had some pretty cool math teachers there but in the south... holy **** man, poor guys going to school there.
User avatar #45 to #44 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Well, we DO understand stuff.
But he expects us to know 3 subjects at once and know everything by heart after a homework that was READING THREE PAGES FROM THE MATH BOOK.
GOD DAMN IT, HIS NAME IS EXPEHNSIVE. WITH AN H. (Translated to german.)
Center-Germany here, and I'm going to a school where my parents have to pay roughly 120€ per month so I can go there. Because the next Gymnasium (not as in Sport-Gym, but you are german, you know the term.) is only reachable by train. FFS.
My old Math/Geology teacher maybe was a bit too strict, a bit of an asshole, and slightly bully-ish/sexist-ish, but only slightly, it was amusing, and god damn it. He drilled it into our heads, if you liked it or not. This new guy? Pft, he expects us to use four drills by ourselves and blindfolded.
I'm also rather a solo-guy. Not THAT many friends, but that might be because everybody is an unrespectful CoD-kiddy that somehow is girly enough to be disgusted if you didn't wash your hair in a week. (I'm lazy at that, yes, and these babyfaces want me to shave my 'stache.)
This entire school is just ***************** .
But my Latin teacher is nice.
GOOD TEACHERS, BAD TEACHERS, GOD DAMN IT. COMPLICATIONS HNNGh.
User avatar #49 to #45 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
im going to such a school too, because i dropped out of school (long story) and i got bad grades n stuff on my graduation (realschulabschluss) that i wouldn't get a real job which i could enjoy. the guys in my class now are all also girly cod-kiddies, but still respectful.

most of the male teachers were all just horny old men. show some cleavage and you get an A. like in sports, the girl with the biggest tits who also happened to show a lot of cleavage (who'd have thought that?) and always wore tight stuff in sports WAS AFRAID OF THE ******* BALL when we played volleyball all the time. she got a ******* A, what the **** man.

and my history teacher was some kind of nazi, not the kind that hates foreigners but the kind that wants old values like discipline, obedience and stuff back.
User avatar #57 to #49 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
Wow, that IS extreme.
Kinda glad we don't have these horny old men here. Otherwise, that girl who usually only writes 4s or worse would have an A. Even when, by eye, she seems like she got two Cs-ERHEM WHEREDIDWELEAVEOFF.
Anyways, in German, we once read Willhelm Tell.
To sum it up:
Write what happened in a chapter, write character biographys, and impressions about "HOW SOME PROBLEMS STILL EXIST NOW".

God damn it, that **** was ******** to read, I barely even understood the characters.
FANTASY ROMANS WERE BETTER THAN THAT. I KNOW IT'S 300 YEARS OLD, BUT STILL.
History is still interesting. And we once (had?) this silly old teach.
In a nutshell:
"What's 5x21?"
-student puts up hand- "Yes, anon?"
"Uhm, 105..."
"You can answer in full sentences, can't you?"
-all students roll their eyes-


I also don't really understand why german is teached, and why we have to do every single sentence with the latin vocabulary and blablabla.
I mean, the Abitur in the end is just IMPRESSION AND WRITING OVER A TEXT. IT'S NOT ABOUT THE LANGUAGE. IT'S ABOUT DOING A WRITTEN PRESENTATION WITHOUT POWERPOINT.

By the way, we pretty much ONLY do Powerpoint-stuff and movie-watching with our other Teach in Geology. WOO, SUPERVOLCANO.

I actually want to go to an University and meet other people. Only f'cktards around where I live.
User avatar #65 to #57 - huszti (04/11/2013) [-]
we had a lot of these answer-in-full-sentences kind of teacher.
yeah german class is kind of dumb. learned more about german in english class, had a teacher there once who explained english words with old germanic languages and how it developed into english and german. that was actually pretty interesting.
User avatar #67 to #65 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
I'm Acing more Tests in English class than the british guy, really.
Thank the internet.
Besides, I learn more about anything in History class than anywhere else.
#79 to #33 - samanthasky (04/11/2013) [-]
How funny I actually had to do this today. I had to cut the pig eye OUT of the dead baby pig and then dissect it. One girl started bawling saying it was murder and she couldn't do it. I only gagged twice but it's still pretty disgusting. Tomorrow we're hog-tying it and opening up the digestive system. Great.
User avatar #93 to #19 - lieutenantpansy (04/11/2013) [-]
Lüge.
#15 - iamjohngalt (04/11/2013) [-]
This sure became quickly relevant.
User avatar #183 to #15 - swedishviking (04/11/2013) [-]
I WAS TRYING TO FORGET THAT FROM YESTERDAY, SCREW YOU MAN SCREW YOU!
#21 - pocketjunk (04/11/2013) [-]
MFW eating plain yogurt
MFW eating plain yogurt
#89 - CXJokerXD (04/11/2013) [-]
That's a question you save for Google.
#24 - lolfire (04/11/2013) [-]
but...but....the spooky ghost...
#73 - vivapinatapro (04/11/2013) [-]
I took microbiology in college, and it seriously made me terrified of sex when we started going over STDs. Like, there are super motile STDs that can go through/around condoms, and they're becoming more and more prevalent in Western countries. Do not want.
User avatar #132 to #73 - Metallicock (04/11/2013) [-]
No picking up bar skanks then
User avatar #80 to #73 - azraelthemage (04/11/2013) [-]
... **** it. I guess I'm becoming a wizard.
#165 to #80 - DJstar (04/11/2013) [-]
to become a wizard, you also can't masturbate.

i think we all failed the wizard test
#97 - pianoasis (04/11/2013) [-]
Semen is largely made of zinc and water, so theoretically it would taste like mineral water.
Semen is largely made of zinc and water, so theoretically it would taste like mineral water.
User avatar #101 to #97 - pianoasis (04/11/2013) [-]
by theoretically I mean I tried it and yeah that's what it tastes like
User avatar #118 to #101 - tylosaurus ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
It changes according to your diet, so..
#40 - grimmwaters ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#22 - bitchplzzz (04/11/2013) [-]
Just straight up tell them you sucked your own man juice
User avatar #43 to #22 - somedumbcomics (04/11/2013) [-]
How do you know it was a guy telling the story?

Guy telling story: gross

Girl telling story: AWESOME
#68 to #43 - vivapinatapro (04/11/2013) [-]
>girls on 4chan   
Is this your first time on the internet?
>girls on 4chan
Is this your first time on the internet?
User avatar #91 to #68 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
>timestamps
#99 to #91 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
hi gary
User avatar #100 to #99 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
ohey
#103 to #100 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
it's me
User avatar #104 to #103 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
me who
#105 to #104 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
hasbro
User avatar #106 to #105 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Why the account deletion? <:c
#107 to #106 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
done with FJ
gave all my other accounts away last night
User avatar #109 to #107 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Are you sure this is a good idea? what provoked you to quit?
#110 to #109 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
only thing I did on FJ was sometimes go on friendly board when I was that bored. I got banned and blocked so **** this site.
User avatar #112 to #110 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Really.notdashie can me an ass sometimes, he banned me for BS reasons on rolling too. can't you go on another account and ask them to add you back? they shouldnt have blocked anyone.
#114 to #112 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
blocked on all alts
User avatar #119 to #114 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
to take you back i mean
User avatar #116 to #114 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
wha.....?

no, that's not right. over the course of what time did you ask them to come back?
#120 to #116 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
Stick your cock in me Gary, make me a man.
#121 to #120 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
that's not me .-. gtg
-hasbro
User avatar #122 to #121 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Hey, come back. i asked about you on friendly and they said you should be added back by now...

comment on my profile sometime alright?
#124 to #122 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
my account's deleted...
User avatar #126 to #124 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
Just i dont want you to leave forever because of 1 butthurt mod.
User avatar #125 to #124 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
What about your alts? what about a new account?
User avatar #128 to #122 - chickenz (04/11/2013) [-]
this is my only alt left
User avatar #130 to #128 - garymotherfingoak ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
how many times did you roll on friendly overall?
User avatar #129 to #128 - chickenz (04/11/2013) [-]
blocked by them
#186 - brenton (04/11/2013) [-]
>Freshman year Sex Ed
>Gargantuan black man as teacher, can't even fit knees under the desk
>Teaching about protein in semen
>Says in booming voice, "Man, you got yoself a regular protein shake right there!"
>Bimbo in back, "Sure doesn't taste like a protein shake!"
>"WHOA WHOA WHOA! Shut the hell up! I don't need to know that **** !"
>His loud black voice attracts neighboring teachers and some students
>Explains the entire story to them in front of everyone while laughing

Girl never shows an ounce of remorse or embarrassment.
User avatar #196 to #186 - itsmedturner (04/11/2013) [-]
This is all a lie. You implied a black man has a job.
User avatar #209 to #196 - brenton (04/11/2013) [-]
He's actually now the assistant principal in charge of discipline at the school.
A black man was working AND getting a graduate degree!

... and he was quite scary when he yelled.
#189 to #186 - invalidcupcakes (04/11/2013) [-]
His face when she said that
His face when she said that
#191 to #189 - brenton (04/11/2013) [-]
Actually, it was more like this
#193 to #191 - invalidcupcakes (04/11/2013) [-]
Oh you make me lawl
#199 to #193 - skysailor (04/11/2013) [-]
Allow me to present you with this gif good sir, if you don't already have it.
Allow me to present you with this gif good sir, if you don't already have it.
#200 to #199 - invalidcupcakes (04/11/2013) [-]
Very funneh
#202 to #191 - datgermanguy (04/11/2013) [-]
Or like this
Or like this
#78 - craazhy (04/11/2013) [-]
the teacher's fw
the teacher's fw
User avatar #133 - alucord (04/11/2013) [-]
because the sweet taste buds on your tongue, not the back of your throat.
#139 to #133 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
The different types of taste buds in different places thing was disproven I think.
User avatar #146 to #139 - alucord (04/11/2013) [-]
maybe so, but thought it was mildly clever.
#147 to #146 - John Cena (04/11/2013) [-]
I thought it was a little more than mildly clever, I just felt the need to point that out.
#25 - anonymoose (04/11/2013) [-]
Mine tastes salty.
#55 to #25 - pulluspardus (04/11/2013) [-]
....same here
....same here
User avatar #31 to #25 - lolfire (04/11/2013) [-]
This may seem like a strange question..
But is your name Marley ?
User avatar #32 to #31 - anonymoose (04/11/2013) [-]
T'is not.
User avatar #34 to #32 - lolfire (04/11/2013) [-]
Ahh nevermind good sir.
Your self portrait just looks a lot like a guy I know from town called Marley.
User avatar #42 to #25 - flusteredmoose (04/11/2013) [-]
Ummm, did you taste is by accident or on purpose?
#144 to #25 - Pompano (04/11/2013) [-]
How do you know that?




How do you know that?
User avatar #71 to #25 - ZoeZamboni (04/11/2013) [-]
Eat less sodium, and more fruit. It will taste better.
#74 to #71 - anonymoose (04/11/2013) [-]
MAYBE I LIKE IT SALTY!
#76 to #74 - ZoeZamboni (04/11/2013) [-]
Have it your way then
Have it your way then
User avatar #98 to #71 - mythichyphen (04/11/2013) [-]
Can you tell me the science behind this by any chance? Not calling you out as a *********** or anything, just curious.
User avatar #143 to #98 - anonymoose (04/11/2013) [-]
Salt makes things salty. Fruit makes things tasty.
User avatar #207 to #98 - ZoeZamboni (04/11/2013) [-]
What you eat greatly affects what your semen tastes like. Fruit and sugar will make is sweet, sodium makes it salty, and so on. I'm not entirely sure why, as I'm not a doctor, but I know that a lot of meat makes it taste really gross. Source: experience.
User avatar #85 - phudgepacker (04/11/2013) [-]
>biology class freshman year
>sexual education part of the class
> teacher says we can write anonymous questions on a index card and she will answer them
> write" i havent had my period for 2 months. Does that mean im pregnant?"
> all girls look at each other in horror
User avatar #192 - apellon (04/11/2013) [-]
if you don't wash your fap sock for a while it starts to smell sweet
#203 to #192 - misticalz (04/11/2013) [-]
I...eh..What?
I...eh..What?
User avatar #206 to #203 - apellon (04/11/2013) [-]
yeah dried semen smells, and probably tastes, sweet. I know because I use the same sock and never wash it. the sock holds it's shape now
#72 - missfit (04/11/2013) [-]
Don't like the taste of semen? Then make a semen cocktail! jezebel.com/gag-me-semen-cocktails-are-now-a-thing-471364806   
   
You're welcome.
Don't like the taste of semen? Then make a semen cocktail! jezebel.com/gag-me-semen-cocktails-are-now-a-thing-471364806

You're welcome.
#75 to #72 - Kaellnx (04/11/2013) [-]
**Kaellnx rolled a random image posted in comment #44 at Good guy Pringles ** i dont even want to know
User avatar #82 to #72 - kingarturi (04/11/2013) [-]
i laughed at splooge sangria.
#86 to #72 - zombiesnipertwo (04/11/2013) [-]
I work as bartender...

mfw if some order one of those
#96 to #72 - decoyoctopus (04/11/2013) [-]
This image has expired
Sounds tasty...I'd gladly wash one down with a nice big helping of semen pudding!

www.amazon.com/Natural-Harvest-collection-semen-ba
User avatar #90 to #72 - pianoasis (04/11/2013) [-]
thumb for Chowder
#5 - Tatou (04/11/2013) [-]
You can't taste the sweetness because the part of the tongue that detects sweet is at the beginning, and not at the bottom of your throat.
You can't taste the sweetness because the part of the tongue that detects sweet is at the beginning, and not at the bottom of your throat.
User avatar #7 to #5 - punnyjunky ONLINE (04/11/2013) [-]
except if you've ever watched porn you'll notice it doesn't go straight from the dick down their throat, it goes into their mouth. Unless
the dude is a douche
#10 to #5 - trickytrickster (04/11/2013) [-]
That's been disproven. There are no specified areas for taste buds. They are spread throughout your mouth.
User avatar #28 to #10 - octaviano (04/11/2013) [-]
But there are parts that have more taste buds of one kind than on a different place, right?
(If that's not true, my waxcurl of a biology teacher is a dumbass.)
User avatar #13 to #10 - derpityherpity (04/11/2013) [-]
woah really? oAo
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