Upload
Login or register
Anonymous comments allowed.
asd
#20 - romdadon
Reply +151
(01/31/2013) [-]
oh my god    
this should be a book or a movie    
10/10
oh my god
this should be a book or a movie
10/10
#30 to #20 - GreenToxon
Reply -7
(01/31/2013) [-]
Still a better love story than twilight.
#33 to #30 - suckmyrichard **User deleted account**
+22
has deleted their comment [-]
#180 to #30 - nebuchadnezzaurus
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Gee, never head that one before.
#25 to #20 - leonstar
Reply +14
(01/31/2013) [-]
This needs to happen.
#31 - vanhoutte
Reply +119
(01/31/2013) [-]
#38 to #31 - HarvietheDinkle
Reply +10
(01/31/2013) [-]
#21 - newborn
Reply +105
(01/31/2013) [-]
what i saw
#5 - numbersixtyseven **User deleted account**
Reply +47
(01/31/2013) [-]
Worth the read.
Worth the read.
#206 - apollyonyagami
Reply +44
(02/01/2013) [-]
Hey, i just met you!
And this is crazy!
I had a vasectomy
That is not my baby.
#23 - kaslin
Reply +42
(01/31/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#29 - johnathon
Reply +31
(01/31/2013) [-]
oh god my sides, 11/10 would read again!
#74 to #29 - flutterbye
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
#50 to #29 - applepiepony
Reply +5
(02/01/2013) [-]
#52 to #50 - johnathon
Reply +4
(02/01/2013) [-]
#7 - codyxvasco
Reply +30
(01/31/2013) [-]
I would get a vasectomy for this, but I love my balls too much.
#15 to #7 - bronynexgen
Reply +6
(01/31/2013) [-]
The doctors only disable the vans deferens, which is a tube that deliver semen from your balls to your penis. It's also completely reversible if you ever realize that you made a huge mistake.

And yes, I do believe you are asleep for this procedure.
#19 to #15 - novus
Reply +3
(01/31/2013) [-]
It is only reversible up to a certain point, 10 years I think, after that it's permanent. But let's be honest, 10 years is plenty of time to decide. And if push comes to shove, you can always have them suck the sperm out manually if you're that desperate to reproduce
#18 to #15 - autoxx ONLINE
Reply +2
(01/31/2013) [-]
You aren't asleep, it is an out-patient procedure but I'm sure you could be if you wanted.
It is reversible but there are problems with the spermatozoa after that, severe mutations and birth defects are very common.
Better to freeze some man-gravy first if you are thinking you might want kids later.

*I'm probably going to have it done so I have done the research. I hesitate because I am immune to almost every biological toxin I have encountered so that would be a nice thing to pass on*
#63 to #18 - bronynexgen
Reply +4
(02/01/2013) [-]
You are immune to all that ****! Jesus ******* Christ man, start making babies right now!
#67 to #63 - autoxx ONLINE
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
I have only tried it on poison ivy, poison oak, stinging nettles, poison wood (a bad tropical plant), mosquito bites, iruganji jellyfish (most potent biological "sting" on earth), black widow spider, some kind of funnel-web spider, wasp/bee/hornet/etc.
The only thing I haven't experienced is snake venom. I have played with diamondbacks but never got hit.
The first one was poison ivy when I was 2, I was sleeping in it in Ontario when my grandmother found me. She got a bad rash just from what was on me before I had a bath.
There are others but for the most part there isn't even a mark.
I played with a stone fish in Australia but didn't get poked on that one either.
#69 to #67 - bronynexgen
Reply +5
(02/01/2013) [-]
I don't care, start reproducing! You're genes are needed!
#70 to #69 - autoxx ONLINE
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
I was at Walmart today... The wrong people are breeding.

*I did get a reaction from a jumping spider bite, there is a spot on my back I have no feeling.
#148 to #67 - akkere ONLINE
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
Wait wait wait

So let me get this straight

You could run through a forest of the ********* plants in the world, get ambushed by insects that just bite the **** out of you, fall into some pool of water filled with jellyfish, and then get pulled up from your army of diamondback snakes and stone fish?

How are you not the King of Alphas?
#178 to #148 - autoxx ONLINE
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
The diamondback venom might **** me over, I guess it's hard on your blood and that's pretty universal between people.
I do run through ****** forests, the only thing that was bad was the damn monkeys throwing **** at me.
The bug bites are a little annoying (especially wild bees) but at least they aren't itchy or painful. I pulled about 50lbs of comb out of a tree in Belize a few years ago, pulling the stingers out was slow but it's just holes. A credit card takes a lot out at a time.
I went scuba diving in Australia and ran into an Iruganji jellyfish, there was a bit of a red mark where I rubbed it against the soft skin of my forearm (that's the most sensitive skin I'm willing to test on) but it was gone in less than 15 minutes (people die in less than 3). 3 days later they wanted to turn the dive boat into shore to get the $26,000 treatment but there was no point.
I am mostly covered in scars from the stupid **** I do but nothing has finished me off yet...
#10 to #7 - mollike
Reply +11
(01/31/2013) [-]
It's not like they cut them off
#1 - knobgobblers
Reply +28
(01/31/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#113 - mrsexmuffins
Reply +27
(02/01/2013) [-]
I love it when a plan come together
#80 - sammyjankiis
Reply +27
(02/01/2013) [-]
Nice.
Nice.
#45 - Kitsune
Reply +27
(02/01/2013) [-]
As a woman, best thing I've ever read. Hard to believe that there are woman out there that are like that, but they are
#197 to #45 - wiredrage
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Hard to believe?
what?
#199 to #45 - fukkentyranitar
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
You haven't watched the Maury show, have you?
#190 - thedarkangel
Reply +25
(02/01/2013) [-]
For everyone complaining he sent it too far, she asked for it.
For everyone complaining he didn't tell her straight up of him being sterile, she didn't ask.
For everyone saying he took it too far, how would you feel if this happened to you?
If a man or woman tries to ruin your entire life through lies show no pity or remorse. Let the trap snap on the one who set it.
#205 to #190 - youarenotspecial
Reply -6
(02/01/2013) [-]
If this story is true, he wasn't exactly showing the height of morality sleeping with her again.
#207 to #205 - thedarkangel
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
Some things can and can't be justified, though on the plane of revenge there is no limit.
#89 - quentintin
Reply +25
(02/01/2013) [-]
nice.........just...........nice
nice.........just...........nice
#140 - bontzyb
Reply +23
(02/01/2013) [-]
HFW
#43 - kilgara **User deleted account**
+23
has deleted their comment [-]
#201 - wreked
Reply +22
(02/01/2013) [-]
HFW she tells him that she's pregnant
#78 - felixjarl
Reply +22
(02/01/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#81 - avatarofavarice
Reply -21
(02/01/2013) [-]
'Cos, you know...
Walking away on a woman in tears while she is due to have a baby as a single mom is totally a cool guy thing to do.
#132 to #81 - avatarofavarice
Reply -14
(02/01/2013) [-]
Oh, by the way FunnyJunk:
I HAVE AN OPINION THAT IS DIFFERENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE'S, PLEASE THUMB DOWN MY POSTS.
Have a nice day.
#135 to #132 - buttgauges
Reply +7
(02/01/2013) [-]
Well it kinda makes sense doesn't it? If you don't agree with a post, you give it a red thumb. Clearly not a lot of people on here agree with you.
#137 to #135 - avatarofavarice
Reply -5
(02/01/2013) [-]
Yeah, I know; that's why I put that giant sign up for the world to see.
Make it easier.
#152 to #132 - zedthamis
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
#159 to #81 - pepemex
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
Why the **** would you stick around after she tried to ruin your life?
#83 to #81 - DaBullshiter
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
This story is probably ********,just like most of the internet,but she properly deserves it.She literaly tries to "Trap" and make some dude miserable,to have a stable income and chill all her life.Using ******* birth to get herself comfortable.That kinda humans is the reason the world is **** man.
#86 to #83 - avatarofavarice
Reply -1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Regardless of whether it was real or not; what's the point of being a douche bag to a douche bag? Nothing was accomplished here but the birth of some lady's baby.
#92 to #86 - fuckincanuck
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
I think Its more about a reasonable person not having to be trapped by some asshole's malicious actions and causing their own amoral scheme to collapse inwards upon them and force them to suffer the consequences of being as you put a douchebag.
#91 to #86 - unknownmercury
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
And the fact that he didn't have to raise some other guy's kid for a woman he didn't really love? That should count for something.
#93 to #91 - avatarofavarice
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Yeah, but couldn't that have been done if he just told her straight-up about his vasectomy? I mean, he said himself that he had one and saved all this time, instead of leading her on and hitting right back at her.
#99 to #93 - unknownmercury
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
There was no point in telling her straight off (it didn't affect sexual performance, obviously), and she wouldn't have believed him if he'd told her after the fact.
#103 to #99 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
So, then, is there anyone with a moral high ground in this situation? Can you answer me that?
#106 to #103 - unknownmercury
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Well, now that I look at it again. Yeah, his morals were pretty grey (hot girl, easy lay, omits details), but hers are straight-up black (gets pregnant, finds guy, ***** him (maybe not even in that order) tries to extort money from him.) I would side with him over her, even if his morals are sketchy.
#109 to #106 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
In what way were his grey? She wanted someone to help raise a child with her, a child that probably ends up in an underpaid household under a(n) authoritarian parent(s). How does this guy do anything good to help in the situation? He just wanted to have sex with a girl, but when she ends up being an asshole, he decides to be an asshole, too.
Where was extortion listed, though? I keep looking down this post and I must be missing it.
#111 to #109 - unknownmercury
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
Her claiming that it was his kid, when she no doubt knew that it wasn't. She's using a lie (the child being his) to try and get him to pay her (either through marriage or child support).
#114 to #111 - avatarofavarice
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Since when does only one part benefit from a marriage? Also, if he knew he wouldn't be paying child support, what does it matter? Is there no such thing as trying to help someone? The fact that she was crying at the end meant that she knew she was going to be end up in a poor way, why can't the guy just be a sir about it; maybe even coming to realizing something good about his relationship with the girl, or something?
#130 to #114 - buttgauges
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
So he should throw away his future to marry a woman and father a child that isn't his? It's not like this woman will be living in a ditch with the kid. Single mom? You bet your ass she'll be getting government money; my mom did.

And if he did marry her and divorced her, he will be paying child support.
#116 to #114 - unknownmercury
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
Are you a male?
#123 to #116 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
What of it?
#117 to #116 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Yeah, I am. Penis, working genitals, and everything.
#125 to #117 - unknownmercury
Reply +5
(02/01/2013) [-]
I suppose this just shows how different two people can be. If this woman had done this to you, you would have ended up staying with her and supporting her.
If she had tried this with me, I would probably not have stopped at the measures this man had.
She lied to him, tried to cheat money out of him, and probably would have expected him to support her completely (i.e. not getting a job herself, using the kid as her reason.) He simply walked out on a crying woman. I would have filed for a restraining order, if not try to sue her for knowingly and willfully trying to extort money from me for some other guy's child.

Tl;dr, You're a sucker, I'm an asshole.
#131 to #125 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Well, hey, the way I look at it: in that situation, I at least make something positive happen.
Oh well.
#134 to #131 - unknownmercury
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
Hey, you wanna ruin your life to make something positive happen, more power to you. I'd rather not. Btw, thumbs up on all your comments, because you actually gave me a fair debate.
#161 to #131 - oCrAzYtOwNo
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
I read the entire argument... you have your fingers jammed so far in your ears that its starting to affect your ability to reason. She, the lying, manipulative, cheating, and extorting woman. Yes, extorting is the correct word, happens all the ******* time guy. Now **** the baby, we're not talking about that right now, I have a question for you. If you had a lying, manipulative, cheating, and extorting girlfriend would you marry her? Back to the baby, would you father a child knowing that it wasn't yours? Would you father the child knowing she lied to you, tried deceive you? She cried at the end because she got caught. %99 of men would of walked the **** out that door just like that guy. There are however, the few, gullible robotic few who would change their lives irreversibly and forever at a drop of a hat based on their own misguided sense of honor. You sir, are one of the few. G'day.
#150 to #131 - anon
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
white knight much?
#157 to #150 - avatarofavarice
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
And a proud one, too.
#227 to #157 - comicthane
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
That was the first funnyjunk debate I have ever seen that was not only grounded in logic, but also changed my opinion. I applaud you.
#242 to #103 - anon
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
I see nothing wrong in what he did.

When in a relationship you say you don´t want childrens the fact you had a vasectomy is not important to tell.

If a lady get a children from beppo lutkens she should go to beppo lutkens to talk about happy family.
#84 to #81 - Thevaultboy
Reply +5
(02/01/2013) [-]
You're stupid.
#85 to #84 - avatarofavarice
Reply -4
(02/01/2013) [-]
Thank you for your opinion. Move on ahead, sir.
#129 to #81 - wherealldadank
Reply +5
(02/01/2013) [-]
Did you even read the story?
#87 to #81 - perplexgg
Reply +11
(02/01/2013) [-]
Someone obviously didn't read...
#90 to #87 - avatarofavarice
Reply -16
(02/01/2013) [-]
I did.
All this guy did was show up, have sex with her, then lay her off in the most demoralizing and depressing way. All the while, mind, when he could've told her straight-up about his vasectomy instead of leading her on, then torturing her at the very end with the facts
Both these people are assholes, man; did you read it?
#107 to #90 - mrgilly
Reply +17
(02/01/2013) [-]
She hooked up with him, cheated on him, tried to force him into the responsibilities of being a parent when it wasn't his child and more than likely would've tried to pursue legal action to steal money from him in child support.

He may be an asshole, but she didn't deserve sympathy for trying to ruin his life.
#110 to #107 - avatarofavarice
Reply -10
(02/01/2013) [-]
How was she trying to ruin his life? What is she, Skeletor? She wanted someone to help raise a child with her, a child that probably ends up in an underpaid household under a(n) authoritarian parent(s). How does this guy do anything good to help in the situation? He just wanted to have sex with a girl, but when she ends up being an asshole, he decides to be an asshole, too.
#115 to #110 - mrgilly
Reply +6
(02/01/2013) [-]
She was trying to ruin his life by forcing a child upon him. Children cost a hell of a lot of money to take care of, regardless of whether it's direct care or indirect through child support. He wasn't looking for a committed relationship, yet she cheated and tried to make him take responsibility for the child with her.

Maybe it's just my personal bias, as I'm not one that reacts well when someone tries to force something upon me that will only end up costing me a lot versus the very little, if any, I would gain.
#146 to #110 - DoggyBouncer
Reply +4
(02/01/2013) [-]
Why would you want to raise a kid that isn't even yours with some whore that you hooked up with. It's her fault for being a stupid cunt and trying to suck money out of someone who you just had sex with.
#147 to #146 - avatarofavarice
Reply -1
(02/01/2013) [-]
He could tell that she was already pregnant or something prior to the relationship, hence the 'I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking'.
#154 to #147 - DoggyBouncer
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
So? If I have sex with a woman I'm not going to assume she's pregnant. If you stay with this woman you're a ******* sucker. White knight, pussy whipped.
#158 to #154 - avatarofavarice
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Way to go man, you insulted me over the internet!
Go hit the right arrow button and receive your trophy- just be sure to thumb one of my numerous posts down on the way out!
#160 to #158 - DoggyBouncer
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
I hope it's a gun so I can ******* shoot you for being so ******* stupid.
#172 to #147 - underporches
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
That's not what that means. A ticking biological clock is what a woman has when she knows that her body is reaching menopausal age (or in this case, either pre or early onset menopause.)
#139 to #110 - hardongo ONLINE
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
ok.. but she cheated on him.. you don't **** a band dude if you love the guy... think about how would you react to something like that... unless you're a woman which seems to be the case, based on how actively you defend her inexcusable behavior
#143 to #139 - avatarofavarice
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Nope, I'm swinging a cock 'round.
Keep reading down to get the whole story.
#102 to #90 - doodogger
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
I agree with you. But in my opinion, both parties had some wrong doing.
#104 to #102 - avatarofavarice
Reply -1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Yeah, that's what I said; both these people are assholes.
There's no moral high ground for anyone in this story.
#118 to #104 - jellyfishman
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Since when did 4chan have morals?
#121 to #118 - avatarofavarice
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
This guy, here...
Someone slap a knee for him, will ya?
#105 to #104 - doodogger
Reply -1
(02/01/2013) [-]
Oh I only read your Last comment, my bad.
#51 - rhetoricalfunny
Reply -3
(02/01/2013) [-]
I feel like that was a few steps too far... I mean, if you knew she was a selfish bitch, why would you start dating her... just to ruin her life?
#79 to #51 - anon
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
She cheated and then lied about it. She wasn't prepared for if her plan failed. Teeeeechnically she ruined her own life.
#232 to #51 - rhetoricalfunny
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Oh right. funnyjunk and opinions.

Jesus why am I still here. This... cesspool of hypocrisy.
#65 to #51 - lexivex
Reply +8
(02/01/2013) [-]
How was keeping it a secret suppose to ruin her life?
#58 to #51 - freight
Reply +11
(02/01/2013) [-]
i totally agree with you, but she brought that on herself
#56 to #51 - Kabutops
Reply +17
(02/01/2013) [-]
she tried to take advantage of him
#57 to #56 - rhetoricalfunny
Reply -6
(02/01/2013) [-]
And he knew that she would before hand, so why did he keep going. I mean to each his own, and it's done either way.
Just my thoughts...
#60 to #57 - Kabutops
Reply +6
(02/01/2013) [-]
well if I knew some bitch was trying to take advantage of me and i had all means of backfiring her plan back onto her, i'd do it.
Just my thoughts....
#62 to #60 - rhetoricalfunny
Reply +1
(02/01/2013) [-]
I just think that's pretty much sadism. He could have turned around and walked the **** away. But he chose to cause her a **** ton of pain, and relished in it. I mean, maybe it's cause I'm just a sensitive prick, but I couldn't be proud to ruin someone's life. No matter how much of a sack of **** they are.

That's probably the only reason I'm not a serial killer
#98 to #62 - fuckincanuck
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
The man was in a relationship that he felt was casual, and said he would like to keep casual. Then she tried to use the law to force him into supporting her. He was up-front about what he wanted and then she tried to twist his arm.
#82 to #62 - bromop
Reply +3
(02/01/2013) [-]
He didn't ruin her life. Maybe inflicted psychological damage, but her life is far from ruined.
#128 to #62 - telfyr
Reply +2
(02/01/2013) [-]
he told her to get an abortion and that he thought it wasn't his, he gave her an opportunity to back down. She decided instead to try to ruin the guys life.
#76 to #62 - anon
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Sadism? From 4chan? No that can't be.
#75 to #62 - anon
Reply 0
(02/01/2013) [-]
Funny thing is, we'd all like to say we wouldn't be the bastard of a story. But, if given the chance, we'd do something just as bad, maybe even worse. Oh, sure, we may regret it, but that doesn't really change anything, now does it?