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#305 - anon (12/10/2013) [-]
>15
>new school
>first day
>get 4 numbers
>9/10 girl in math gets my #
>9/10 girl in science gets my #
>ask 8/10 in art class out for lols says yes, break up with her next day because lol
>girl from math calls me friday
>girl from science is her best friend
#306 to #305 - anon (12/10/2013) [-]
>want me to come to football game.
>ask what time what school?
>my bed 10pm(lots of giggling from both of them at this point)
>"i'll bring the football"
>*giggling continues*
>say i have to go, hang up.
>texts me address
>get ride there from friend, told him it was my aunts so he wouldn't try to join me
>meet outside, sneak inside, go to room, **** them both. leave.
#307 to #306 - anon (12/10/2013) [-]
> **** like this continued all year
alpha in the building, everybody sit the **** down
#295 - sephirothpwnz (10/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#290 - noophdelivered (10/22/2012) [-]
mfw talking to girls
mfw talking to girls
0
#288 - linkDrkguy **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#285 - optimistchime (10/22/2012) [-]
Had the same thing happen to me with a furry chick that lived under the sea, Mandy or something. Wasn't until long I found out that she was ******* a sponge. Jokes on them though, the sponge was out of date and she's stuck with the child.
#280 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
OP the next night
#279 - latinotornado (10/22/2012) [-]
STORY TIME WITH SEBASTIAN (Alpha Fail Story)   
>Texting my very attractive 8/10 neighbor   
>Parents are gone for the next 4 hours   
>Invite her to come over and watch The Grey with me   
>Things turn good, she actually asks if I wanna grab some snacks at walmart first;I have about 4-5 hours because parents just left so I say yea sure and walk to her house and hop in the car   
>*Quest added: Snack Fest*   
>Get to walmart, buy chips, dip, and some Arnold Palmers (brand of delicious sweet tea) and some Mountain Dew   
>*Quest Completed*   
>Get back to my house cracking jokes and pop the movie in   
>She gets cold (I lowered the heat before I left the house so it would be colder) We start to cuddle   
>we casually talk while the movie goes on;my hand slowly wanders to her theigh and I rub it a little to show her my intentions   
>she goes with it and we start kissing   
>*Quest Added: 						****					 bitches, get money*   
>Kissing starts getting heavier and she pulls my shirt off; I get more aggressive and get on top of her and pull her shirt off (C cup tits)   
>BONER ACTIVATE   
>she gets frisky and starts undoing my pants and giving me a hj while kissing   
>BONER ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL   
>she gets off the couch and starts giving me head (it was ok, not the greatest but she was hot so it made up for it) Boner tells brain to get even more aggressive because the big moment is coming at hand   
>I stand up and undo her pants and bend her over the couch and spanks her hard   
>As soon as my hand comes down on her ass, she rips ass; smells like hot dogs and fruit   
>I stifle my laugh but let out a really loud snort and her face is bright red saying "Oh my god I am so sorry!"   
>I try and go alpha and tell her its ok, it isent a big deal and try to bend her over again   
>she says no and keeps saying shes sorry,Shes gathering up her clothes with a bright red face   
>I waddle after her with pants around ankles asking for her to come back,She gets dressed and goes home and dosent text me for weeks   
>MFW Quest Failed
STORY TIME WITH SEBASTIAN (Alpha Fail Story)
>Texting my very attractive 8/10 neighbor
>Parents are gone for the next 4 hours
>Invite her to come over and watch The Grey with me
>Things turn good, she actually asks if I wanna grab some snacks at walmart first;I have about 4-5 hours because parents just left so I say yea sure and walk to her house and hop in the car
>*Quest added: Snack Fest*
>Get to walmart, buy chips, dip, and some Arnold Palmers (brand of delicious sweet tea) and some Mountain Dew
>*Quest Completed*
>Get back to my house cracking jokes and pop the movie in
>She gets cold (I lowered the heat before I left the house so it would be colder) We start to cuddle
>we casually talk while the movie goes on;my hand slowly wanders to her theigh and I rub it a little to show her my intentions
>she goes with it and we start kissing
>*Quest Added: **** bitches, get money*
>Kissing starts getting heavier and she pulls my shirt off; I get more aggressive and get on top of her and pull her shirt off (C cup tits)
>BONER ACTIVATE
>she gets frisky and starts undoing my pants and giving me a hj while kissing
>BONER ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL
>she gets off the couch and starts giving me head (it was ok, not the greatest but she was hot so it made up for it) Boner tells brain to get even more aggressive because the big moment is coming at hand
>I stand up and undo her pants and bend her over the couch and spanks her hard
>As soon as my hand comes down on her ass, she rips ass; smells like hot dogs and fruit
>I stifle my laugh but let out a really loud snort and her face is bright red saying "Oh my god I am so sorry!"
>I try and go alpha and tell her its ok, it isent a big deal and try to bend her over again
>she says no and keeps saying shes sorry,Shes gathering up her clothes with a bright red face
>I waddle after her with pants around ankles asking for her to come back,She gets dressed and goes home and dosent text me for weeks
>MFW Quest Failed
#297 to #279 - ludislavonac ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
oh my, well worth the read
#296 to #279 - xenochaos (10/22/2012) [-]
I wasn't gonna read at first, but sure as hell glad I did. Made my night.    
   
>gif moderately related.
I wasn't gonna read at first, but sure as hell glad I did. Made my night.

>gif moderately related.
User avatar #282 to #279 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
Holy ******* **** that's funny.
User avatar #284 to #282 - latinotornado (10/22/2012) [-]
Its sad but its true. Happened pretty recently actually, her and I just started texting again
User avatar #287 to #284 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
Yeah, well at least your moving back into the right direction.

But holy **** dude, that was hilarious. You probably shouldn't have tried to hold back the laugh, that probably was what made it so embarrassing for her.
#278 - anon (10/22/2012) [-]
>BE ME
>FROM ESTONIA
> **** LITHUANIA!
>LITHUANIA IS A PIECE OF UGLY **** .
>EVERY ONE IN LITHUANIA ARE A BUNCH OF DIRTY *******
>LONG LIVE ESTONIA! BEST AND GREATEST COUNTRY IN THE WORLD!

>EVERYBODY LOVES ESTONIA.
>MOST BEAUTIFUL COUNTRY IN EUROPE, AND VERY COOL IN THE WORLD
>LITHUANIA IS BORING, STUPID AND VERY MUCH HIGH CRIME RATE.
>PEOPLE IN LITHUANIA HATE YOU AND KILL YOU.


COME TOURISTS VISIT AMAZING ESTONIA, NOT DISGUSTING LITHUANIA.

>LITHUANIA KNOW WE BETTER.
>BE PRIME MINSTER OF LITHUANIA, ANDRIUS KUBILIUS.
>ON JUNE 2/ 2010 SAY “We have ambitions to become better than Estonians”
>COOL STORY BRO. TOO BAD THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN.

YOU ARE LAME LITHUANIA, AND YOU KNOW IT!

ESTONIAN PRIDE, REPRESENT!!!!!


-USERNAME: ESTONIANPRIDE
#272 - derpchan (10/22/2012) [-]
>kill her
>rape her
>skin her
>wear her skin
>become her
>go out with chad that cute senior jock that's been eyeing your mcnuggies
>suck his dick
>swallow
>get married
>as he becomes rich divorce him
>become rich independent woman that don't need no man
#269 - fortes (10/22/2012) [-]
>be me
>recently retired from military service
>go to art school
>never had gf since I was always focusing on the ladder of success
>sees 9/10 during orientation
>ALPHA MODE ENGAGED
>we hit it off rather shaky, but good success
>in my design class a few weeks later
>keep talking and open up a bit more, not too much for my tower of power will crumble down HARD
>She might be the one for a long term relationship
>THE TIME HAS COME
>gather the courage to ask her out
>finds out she is lesbian
>we will be friends
>MFW I felt the cold sting of loneliness once again after all these years...
User avatar #283 to #269 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
>success
>art school

Pick one dude
#298 to #283 - palestineforlife (10/22/2012) [-]
Dude i am ******* dying at your profile picture oh my God that is funny
#286 to #283 - fortes (10/22/2012) [-]
Once I get my degree, Officer Status.

Who said getting a job in the civilian world after I'm done with college?
User avatar #289 to #286 - Sinless (10/22/2012) [-]
Alright then, I take back my previous statement.
#259 - evantheboss (10/22/2012) [-]
>Talk to hot girl
>Instant monotone
#240 - onelittleindian (10/22/2012) [-]
>See girl I like
>Cum instantly

tl;dr I premature ejaculate
#260 to #240 - LSone (10/22/2012) [-]
Tiger knows how you feel...
User avatar #236 - arrowman (10/22/2012) [-]
>See cute girl in public
>You approach to ask for number
>you realize shes OP
>you run
>You run so far away
#235 - itsjustchad (10/22/2012) [-]
Dubs decides what I randomly text my girlfriend.
User avatar #276 to #235 - brum (10/22/2012) [-]
**brum rolls 31** i'm telling people to roll a number and if they get the same number twice in a row they get to tell me what to say to you.
this is one of the messages that they made.
this isn't even my message telling you at the end
aren't i such a great fiance?
+1
#250 to #235 - jgk **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #244 to #235 - jacobmurphy (10/22/2012) [-]
**jacobmurphy rolls 03** We must **** NOW!
User avatar #243 to #235 - herpderpberp (10/22/2012) [-]
**herpderpberp rolls 33** i must break up with you to be with my gay lover, mick. we've been seeing each other for a few months and even HE agrees to anal so yayy ttyl dumb bitch.
User avatar #246 to #243 - itsjustchad (10/22/2012) [-]
Oh lord. Here we go.
User avatar #253 to #246 - Scottizdaman (10/22/2012) [-]
HAHAHA
+3
#248 to #246 - andrewjo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #254 to #248 - itsjustchad (10/22/2012) [-]
Dear God. She hasn't replied yet. She's taking it all in.
+5
#255 to #254 - andrewjo **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#258 to #255 - itsjustchad (10/22/2012) [-]
Tomorrow is our 1 year. I think I annoyed her. :l
User avatar #291 to #258 - rattman (10/22/2012) [-]
She wont except your love for Mick.
User avatar #267 to #258 - joshlol (10/22/2012) [-]
this looks fake as **** , wrong font, lack of ios6, posted 16 minutes ago and time reads 10:01
User avatar #271 to #267 - itsjustchad (10/22/2012) [-]
Alright mate. I uploaded it a couple minutes afterwards, but alright mate.
#262 to #258 - evantheboss (10/22/2012) [-]
You are a 						*******					 boss
You are a ******* boss
User avatar #245 to #243 - jacobmurphy (10/22/2012) [-]
DELIVER!
User avatar #242 to #235 - brolafofbromacia (10/22/2012) [-]
**brolafofbromacia rolls 37** Will you marry me?
User avatar #241 to #235 - heroicvenom (10/22/2012) [-]
**heroicvenom rolls 06** hey honey, i want have sex with an strap-on dildo.
#239 to #235 - cragga (10/22/2012) [-]
**cragga rolls 723** dickbutt
#238 to #235 - cragga (10/22/2012) [-]
**cragga rolls 75** dickbutt

0
#237 to #235 - nopresident has deleted their comment [-]
#231 - brainteaser (10/22/2012) [-]
**brainteaser rolled a random image posted in comment #1423005 at MLP Brony Board **
0
#230 - brainteaser has deleted their comment [-]
+27
#229 - yourmomtotherescue **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#249 to #229 - supermandan (10/22/2012) [-]
Is this what women do to you to make you go away?
-2
#273 to #249 - yourmomtotherescue **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#225 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (10/22/2012) [-]
Why the **** do people give fake numbers? Why do these dense ******* teenagers find it so funny to laugh at others misfortune and crushing despair? I swear to **** , I've pondered becoming a serial killer too many times because of these kinds of people. They don't see the people they insult as a threat, or as even human. As nothing but weak and wastes of space. But when the weak fight back against them and their injustice, the weak ones are the villains. They are the bad guys. It's ******* ******** .

Let me tell you guys something: If you are still in school and some douche picks on you every day. Next time they do it, kick them in the ******* dick. Punch them in the ******* face. Show everyone you are human, you are a ******* man and that you won't stand for this ******** anymore.

I'll stop now.
User avatar #266 to #225 - travisgold (10/22/2012) [-]
Bro... I couldn't have said it any better myself. I asked out a girl after she lead me on and she gave me a 2 page text about how nice of a guy I was, I said to her BITCH **** YOU, IF I AM SO NICE Y U NO DATE.
0
#222 - kerns has deleted their comment [-]
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