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User avatar #417 - iaskedformustard (08/15/2012) [-]
Last night my girlfriend came home earlier than she ever has and caught me, naked, watching porn, and stroking it with a mask and snorkel on.
There's not really much to say at that point. She walked right past me and went into the bedroom. I quickly turned the porn off, put on some pants, and took the mask and snorkel off. Five minuets later she came out of the bedroom and asked how my day was... it was like she didn't just catch me throttling myself with a mask and snorkel on. The rest of the evening went as normal. We had baked chicken and green beans for dinner, and then watched the simpsons.
I don't really don't know what else to say.
#428 to #417 - anon (08/15/2012) [-]
Thank you for the story. It was very bold and seems like it would be frontpage worthy if you take this hint before anyone else does, make it into OC, i'd love it.
-2
#434 to #428 - gobnick has deleted their comment [-]
#464 to #417 - satexas (08/15/2012) [-]
I am very confused by that story.
#448 to #417 - zzjames ONLINE (08/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#433 to #417 - froglordy (08/15/2012) [-]
It's obvious, you defied all logic and reason, and since women can't comprehend logic and reason, you just invented the perfect camouflage.
It's obvious, you defied all logic and reason, and since women can't comprehend logic and reason, you just invented the perfect camouflage.
#313 - cheezyman (08/15/2012) [-]
but will it blend
#321 to #317 - cheezyman (08/15/2012) [-]
wait of course not that was a stupid question wasn't it
wait of course not that was a stupid question wasn't it
User avatar #267 - iliekcereal (08/15/2012) [-]
And then the guy who got shot used the same phone to call 911.
User avatar #1014 - mikaelkid (08/15/2012) [-]
**mikaelkid rolls 232**

User avatar #1015 to #1014 - mikaelkid (08/15/2012) [-]
**mikaelkid rolls 2**

Three become a 2!
#1016 to #1015 - mikaelkid (08/15/2012) [-]
mfw im a wizard harry
User avatar #1030 to #1016 - likeaperuvian (08/15/2012) [-]
**likeaperuvian rolls 771,414,475**
User avatar #1028 to #1016 - likeaperuvian (08/15/2012) [-]
**likeaperuvian rolls 175**
#161 - fuckingtrolls (08/14/2012) [-]
This image has expired
It went through the nokia. That must have been one tough bullet.
#855 - tailzboobs (08/15/2012) [-]
Invincibility
#549 - satansatan (08/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#248 - stainunderyournose (08/15/2012) [-]
dosnt look like it did much stopping of the bullet..
(pic somewhat related?)
User avatar #261 to #248 - yutakenusername (08/15/2012) [-]
Probably slowed it down.
#241 - devilmay (08/15/2012) [-]
<MFW I'm actually from Syria, and I see this **** everyday...
#1003 - insanoex (08/15/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#304 - anonymusmus (08/15/2012) [-]
**anonymusmus rolled a random image posted in comment #141 at PC>Mac **
#324 to #304 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
By the way apple adding a zero at the end of your price-tag doesn't make it better...
User avatar #155 - rubixium (08/14/2012) [-]
if it was the original it would still work
User avatar #66 - abesimpson (08/14/2012) [-]
The old nokia would've deflect the bullet and kill the gunner
User avatar #36 - notsain (08/14/2012) [-]
Ive been gone for a while...what's up with these...item things...
User avatar #37 to #36 - derangedberger (08/14/2012) [-]
Basically you click an item and enter the captcha to get it (you have to be fast).
Eventually, pinkie pie will make some kind of fj store where they can be used in some way to buy stuff.
User avatar #39 to #37 - notsain (08/14/2012) [-]
Has it been said if it is...real world things or just online stuff?
User avatar #41 to #39 - derangedberger (08/14/2012) [-]
I think it's just online, stuff like colored text. More info here:
funnyjunk.com/text/3974602/Item+Discussion/
User avatar #43 to #41 - notsain (08/14/2012) [-]
Thanks Rainbowdash, I appreciate your help.
User avatar #594 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
First to roll trips gets a 2000 point pie free!
User avatar #670 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 519**
User avatar #674 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 115**
User avatar #679 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 352**
User avatar #683 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 084**
User avatar #687 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 947**
User avatar #595 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 638** CMON PAPA NEEDS A NEW PIE
User avatar #657 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 428**
User avatar #653 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 068**
User avatar #655 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 627**
User avatar #656 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 763**
User avatar #692 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 113**
0
#851 to #594 - agoddamntruck has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #931 to #594 - strawhatandrews (08/15/2012) [-]
**strawhatandrews rolls 165**
User avatar #933 to #931 - strawhatandrews (08/15/2012) [-]
**strawhatandrews rolls 619**
User avatar #935 to #933 - strawhatandrews (08/15/2012) [-]
**strawhatandrews rolls 854**
User avatar #937 to #935 - strawhatandrews (08/15/2012) [-]
**strawhatandrews rolls 391**
User avatar #940 to #937 - strawhatandrews (08/15/2012) [-]
**strawhatandrews rolls 460**
User avatar #665 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 964**
User avatar #661 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 254**
User avatar #652 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 349**
User avatar #597 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 202**
im giving me 3 more tries
User avatar #651 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 594**
User avatar #689 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 223**
User avatar #650 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 756**
User avatar #685 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 084**

I WANT THAT ******* PIE
User avatar #649 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 733**
User avatar #681 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 373**
User avatar #648 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 567**
User avatar #676 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 200**
User avatar #647 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 241**
User avatar #672 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 659**
User avatar #646 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 220**
User avatar #668 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 175**
User avatar #645 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 177**
User avatar #663 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 068**
User avatar #644 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 152**
User avatar #659 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 608**
User avatar #643 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 046**
User avatar #972 to #594 - memealert (08/15/2012) [-]
**memealert rolls 398**
User avatar #973 to #972 - memealert (08/15/2012) [-]
**memealert rolls 842**
User avatar #974 to #973 - memealert (08/15/2012) [-]
**memealert rolls 144**
User avatar #975 to #974 - memealert (08/15/2012) [-]
**memealert rolls 502**
User avatar #976 to #975 - memealert (08/15/2012) [-]
**memealert rolls 098**
User avatar #642 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 231**
User avatar #596 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 379** now?
User avatar #628 to #594 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
**loodee rolls 109**
User avatar #631 to #628 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
It appears you have hit the limit as well
User avatar #634 to #631 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
Yes D:
User avatar #690 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 596**
User avatar #627 to #594 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
**loodee rolls 486**
User avatar #688 to #594 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
elitekillionare and rummler, you two have hit my 5 try limit as mention far below
User avatar #626 to #594 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
**loodee rolls 578**
User avatar #686 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 154**
User avatar #625 to #594 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
**loodee rolls 604**
User avatar #684 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 353**
User avatar #698 to #684 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
recently i have had a huge sequence of numbers stuck in my head the first part of it is "7 12 15 >>>353<<< 42 2 10...it goes on but it does scare me to keep seeing this number in particular.....
User avatar #624 to #594 - loodee (08/15/2012) [-]
**loodee rolls 584**
User avatar #682 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 970**
User avatar #623 to #594 - dfahl (08/15/2012) [-]
**dfahl rolls 830** last try...
User avatar #680 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 539**
User avatar #622 to #594 - dfahl (08/15/2012) [-]
**dfahl rolls 230**
User avatar #678 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 341**
User avatar #620 to #594 - dfahl (08/15/2012) [-]
**dfahl rolls 314** third times a charm
User avatar #675 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 717**
User avatar #617 to #594 - dfahl (08/15/2012) [-]
**dfahl rolls 831**
User avatar #673 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 513**
User avatar #614 to #594 - dfahl (08/15/2012) [-]
**dfahl rolls 286** chicken pot pie. those are my three favorite things
User avatar #671 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 921**
User avatar #609 to #594 - tonythai (08/15/2012) [-]
**tonythai rolls 570**
User avatar #669 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 104**

elitekillionaire

this is a distraction so i can get it
#608 to #594 - anon (08/15/2012) [-]
**anonymous rolls 196** 3.14 apple pie
User avatar #667 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 159**
User avatar #605 to #594 - llortemageht (08/15/2012) [-]
**llortemageht rolls 417**
User avatar #607 to #605 - llortemageht (08/15/2012) [-]
**llortemageht rolls 302**
User avatar #664 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 303**
User avatar #677 to #664 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
you have hit the 5 try limit
User avatar #603 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
DAMN YOU ROLLING GODS!!!
User avatar #662 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 846**
User avatar #602 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 312**
User avatar #660 to #594 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
**elitekillionaire rolls 283**
User avatar #601 to #594 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
5 try limit only
User avatar #658 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 066**
User avatar #599 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 356**
User avatar #654 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 950**
User avatar #598 to #594 - alphajesus (08/15/2012) [-]
**alphajesus rolls 448**
User avatar #691 to #594 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
**rummler rolls 555**
User avatar #694 to #691 - elitekillionaire (08/15/2012) [-]
Well done Good Sir, Well done
#697 to #694 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
&gt;didn't read the 5 try limit
>didn't read the 5 try limit
User avatar #701 to #697 - resbiansrock (08/15/2012) [-]
I feel terrible for laughing but i have a 200 point prize for you anyway if you want it...
User avatar #703 to #701 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
you are a good man
#702 to #701 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
yes please...
yes please...
User avatar #693 to #691 - rummler (08/15/2012) [-]
YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

can i have my pie now resbiansrock?
User avatar #33 - ramsswimmer (08/14/2012) [-]
i have the same phone....not that anyone cares
User avatar #45 to #33 - heraske (08/14/2012) [-]
Oh, and you're sitting inside your house on FunnyJunk. You could be saving lives with that thing!
#13 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
ehm, if it stopped the bullet why is there a exit hole?
#47 to #13 - knuckleheaded (08/14/2012) [-]
MAy have been said before, but the article indicates that it did not exit, as supposedly the owner was filming with it up to his face and is perfectly fine. Also, since the nokia was dense, hard plastic, bullet could have been lodged in what looks like an exit hole on the battery cover, and fallen out when they took it apart.
#58 to #13 - anon (08/14/2012) [-]
what the **** are wrong with u people he asked a plausible question and got attacked by a group of ********* who dont even know what they're talking about
User avatar #14 to #13 - bitchplzzz (08/14/2012) [-]
Lessened the blow..
#15 to #14 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
so like the bullet wasn't stopped entirely by the phone but continued into the flesh of this person and then lost all of the blow?
#25 to #15 - daroke (08/14/2012) [-]
he didn't die you stupid ****
User avatar #46 to #25 - ascian (08/14/2012) [-]
That was uncalled for.
#26 to #25 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
Shut the **** up you worthless piece of disgusting crap
User avatar #27 to #26 - deadmice (08/14/2012) [-]
you are an idiot... the bullet, whilst it did leave the phone, had been slowed down enough that it hurt the person, but didn't have the speed left to do enough damage to kill them.
#30 to #26 - anon (08/14/2012) [-]
-9
#28 to #26 - daroke has deleted their comment [-]
#35 to #28 - anon (08/14/2012) [-]
#31 to #28 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
If you were twice as smart, you'd still be stupid
-8
#32 to #31 - daroke has deleted their comment [-]
#34 to #32 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
I love you <3 :)
#52 to #34 - anon (08/14/2012) [-]
Why does it lok like he is a dickicorn?
User avatar #18 to #15 - bitchplzzz (08/14/2012) [-]
Look. It entered the phone, got slowed, bounced off and left the guy with only a skin wound. Better than being put down and the bullet is still in you..
#16 to #15 - uniquereposts (08/14/2012) [-]
why is that so important? An apple iPhone could never do that, in fact the person with iPhone would more likely be dead..
#17 to #16 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
are you seriously suggesting that nokia phones save more lives than iphone?
User avatar #19 to #17 - deltaspace ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
Nokias are effectively indestructable
#20 to #19 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
iphones have gps and and better connections. I'm sure alot of lives are saved because of this, alot more than people that are saved by nokias
User avatar #21 to #20 - deltaspace ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
It's more along the lines of if that nokia was switched with an iPhone it wouldn't really have saved him as well as the nokia
#23 to #21 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
youtube _com/watch?v=Db7pKjUrNXQ here, this iphone took one 9 mm bullet
#22 to #21 - samyea (08/14/2012) [-]
you don't know that
User avatar #24 to #22 - deltaspace ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
It's pretty easy to say..
You can throw a Nokia around as much as you want without any damage but an iPhone breaks easily.
iPhones also have a more slender build compared to a Nokia, therefore there is less material for the bullet to travel through.
It would lessen the blow by a bit but not as much as a nokia.
#1029 to #24 - uniquereposts (08/15/2012) [-]
I thought it was kinda obvious, phones today are so think and the screen is so big that its way to easy to break, i dropped mine on the floor once, the glass was broken, my old nokia, i threw as hard as I could into the floor, pieces flew everywhere, but I just put it back together like nothing ever happend, not even a scratch.. nuff said
User avatar #76 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
This clearly did not stop the bullet. the hole in the back indicates that the bullet when throug the touch screen first and going out in the back, no matter which gun he was shot with(handgun) the hole is too big to assume that the bullet stoped at the back case of the phone (the baterry seems not pirced trough bot the back case does that means that the bullet went trough and this post is wrong. good day
User avatar #84 to #76 - Zeratul (08/14/2012) [-]
The owner was recording a video though, so it went through the back. I didn't see a picture of the front so that ****** up in the air..
User avatar #85 to #84 - Zeratul (08/14/2012) [-]
So it *probably* went through the back.
User avatar #90 to #76 - lolfire (08/14/2012) [-]
It slowed the bullet down enough for it only to cause a very, very small bruise.
So in all effects, it stopped it.
User avatar #91 to #90 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
nooooo...such a big impact that left that hole clealry penetrated into the victims body quite allot
User avatar #92 to #91 - lolfire (08/14/2012) [-]
-.-
This is a well known story.
And I repeat it caused a very, very small bruise.
You are a ******* idiot.
User avatar #94 to #92 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
well maybe the story is ooow i dont know FAKE then?
User avatar #95 to #94 - lolfire (08/14/2012) [-]
No, no it's not.
Stop grasping at straws.
User avatar #100 to #95 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
no no no no no....no this story is FAKE because what it saying is that it "STOPED THE BULLET", you are telling me that it left a bruise and I AM TELLING YOU THAT THIS STORY IS FAKE. ITS FAKE! BEACUSE THE HOLE IN THE BACK IS WAYYYY TO BIG TO JUST LEAVE A BRUISE. FIRST OF ALL: IT SAYS THAT THE BULLET WAS STOPED BY THE PHONE, SECOND OF ALL THE BATERRY IS NOT PENETRATED AS THE BACK OF THE BACK CASE OF THE PHONE IS SOOOOOO IN CONCLUSION THIS STORY IS FULL OF FAKEEE
User avatar #1038 to #100 - fakeee (09/02/2012) [-]
oi leave me out of this
User avatar #102 to #100 - lolfire (08/14/2012) [-]
Ok you're typing in caps so I'm not going to read whatever ******** you just wrote.
**** you and have a nice day.
User avatar #107 to #102 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
all im saying is its FAKE at least watch youtube(dot.)com(/)watch?v=uULn_Jul43Y
#109 to #107 - Xaytor (08/14/2012) [-]
youtube is not a legitimate source
#113 to #109 - slobiscuit ONLINE (08/14/2012) [-]
mythbusters is
#114 to #113 - Xaytor (08/14/2012) [-]
Mythbusters don't actually do proper tests.

(It's TV science)
#127 to #94 - anon (08/14/2012) [-]
Mother ****** , English! Do you speak it!?
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