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#32 - alucardshellhound
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
**alucardshellhound rolled a random image posted in comment #28 at awesome **
#52 to #32 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
Well, that really... Shook things up.
#31 - soule
+12
has deleted their comment [-]
#86 to #31 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
I live in Spain, and here, well, we may be lazy as ****,and you can call us oily catholic guidos or whatever you want, but we are happier than everyone else in the world, and the university is just awesome, american pie compared to the spanish universities is a children game.
I sometimes noted down what my teachers said, I know nobody care but its summer and i have nothing else to do, so if you like it good, if not, i dont care

Mr Quesada: He died from a blow of an axe in the head. Therefore he had a natual dead, because after a blow of an axe in the head, its natural to die

Ms Barcenas:You have to identify instantly every gothic cathedral I show you. If one day some guys come, they put a hood in your head, they abduct you, they keep you several hours in the trunk of a car, they take you out, they take your hood off and you are in the interior of a cathedral. In less than 5 seconds you have to know in what cathedral you are to call the police.

Mr Cuervo: -Somebody didnt understand it?
Silence
-Somebody understood it?
Silence again
-Ok, if nobody understands it and nobody doesnt understand it, then there is nobody here and Im leaving
(he leaves the class)

Mr Dueñas:We need to speak properly, for example we cant say to a small person that is small, pygmy or dwarfish, but that he is a ''failed verticality project''

Mr Wagner: What are you doing here?, at your age I was out there. You should be planting marihuana.

Mr Gonzalez: The greeks went to the gym, discussed phylosophy and had anal sex.

Mr Pepe: The other day i read in the radio....

Mr Gonzalez: Sirs, consumme hallucinogenic drugs as soon as possible because its the shortest way to understand modern art.
Mr Feliú:The chalice is a very coveted object, that has been seeked in every century, like in Indiana Jones. Dont laugh, Jones actually exists, he gave me classes in oxford
#94 to #86 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]

Ms Carmen: It has been proven that students only pay attention when we speak about exams or sex...today im going to speak about the exams, the rest of the year we will speak about sex

Mr Peinado: Kussara, the ancient hittite archaic capital, has not been finded yet.Note down on the side ''I will find it''

Mr Sandalio: When I was young I used to smoke camel, well, camel and what I could score

Mr Sandalio: Maslow is considered the american Freud, whereas the european freud is... eh...eh...Freud

Ms Gutierrez: Have you seen the teletubbies?, the hill where they live,Im sure its an etruscan tomb

Mr Amils: (last question of the exam)

If you were a bacteria,¿What bacteria would you be and why?

Mr Liñan:Please, silence, Imagine that you are 20 years old university students

Mr Martinez: And erotic novels started to get published, or as I call them....''novels that you read with a single hand''

Mr Lopeza: Do you see the picture of the building in fire? I designed the fire prevention system

Mr Cuesta: If you have not read the book at least you would have seen the simpsons version

Mr Tello: God doesnt exist and he knows it
#158 to #94 - bronan
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
Woah there charles dickens i didnt come here to read a novel.
#183 to #158 - soule
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#80 to #31 - fuckthehabs
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
It's a Ferris Bueller joke 90% of the time as well
#28 - Snowa
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
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#27 - narunarunaru
Reply +2
(07/05/2012) [-]
**narunarunaru rolled a random image posted in comment #1 at Animal Photobombs ** mfw my teacher tells a joke...
#23 - yettinarch
Reply +8
(07/05/2012) [-]
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#21 - MichaelDoritos
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
My teachers are ******* hilarious. Like, seriously. They are the most awesome teachers ever.
#19 - wehavecandy
Reply -2
(07/05/2012) [-]
Who else is reading through the comments hoping one of their teachers is mentioned?
#18 - winniedawho
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
I like the way Ray Liotta laugh in Goodfellas, that was really funny, as if he wasn't really laughing because it is funny, but just a fake laugh
#17 - nelsylife
Reply +3
(07/05/2012) [-]
Student 1: I can get way more girls' numbers than you!
Student 2: No way. Even so, you only get ugly girls' numbers.
Student 1: I got one girl's number at the party the other night!
Student 2: She was so drunk she couldn't even see.
Teacher: So you guys were at the nursing home recently?
#15 - TheStranger
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
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#47 to #15 - theninjakai
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
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#14 - whitebuddha
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
Senior trip to Germany (on the bus):
Teacher 1: What's the next town called? I want to find the directions on my new smartphone.
Teacher 2: Let's see... try ***************?
Teacher 1: Nope. No results.
Teacher 2: What about Poopenstein?
Teacher 1: Nope still nothing.
Teacher 2: Try anusburg.
Teacher 1: Stupid phone must be broken!

He never figured it out even when he turned around to find us pissing ourselves laughing.
#13 - carmasterzaib
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
student presentations:

Kid: ok so i will be explaining the reproductive system, specifically the human penis
teacher: ( raises hand)
kid: yes Mr.majkryzak
teacher: "is it gonna be hard"
Entire class poker face......then hysterical laughter, i miss AP bio
#10 - connorjay
Reply +219
(07/05/2012) [-]
I liked my biology teachers terrible jokes
Me: What are we learning today Mrs C?

Her: We're learning how to make a hormone.

Me: Oh...?

Her: Yeah, you don't pay them.
#176 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
Just because something has a pun nowadays means it's a bad joke. **** you man, that was good.
#89 to #10 - onemanstand
Reply +3
(07/05/2012) [-]
I Carbon what you did there


....no?
...okay....
#109 to #89 - whiteniggers
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
I don't get it.

Anyway, wanna here a sodium joke? Actually... Na!
#111 to #109 - onemanstand
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
Carbon's symbol is a C

C..... See
#113 to #111 - whiteniggers
Reply +9
(07/05/2012) [-]
Oh, I get it now.

That's ******* terrible
#117 to #113 - onemanstand
Reply +2
(07/05/2012) [-]
Thanks you for not calling me a faggot
#118 to #117 - whiteniggers
Reply +3
(07/05/2012) [-]
faggot
#120 to #118 - onemanstand
Reply +4
(07/05/2012) [-]
#116 to #113 - onemanstand
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#22 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
I don't get it.
#33 to #22 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
hormone = whore moan
#16 to #10 - awesomenessdefined
Reply +2
(07/05/2012) [-]
That joke was pretty ******* awesome
#29 to #16 - connorjay
Reply +5
(07/05/2012) [-]
I literally facepalmed when she said it.

She couldn't stop giggling.
#12 to #10 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
That's ******* hilarious. Tell your teacher she's awesome.
#30 to #12 - connorjay
Reply +2
(07/05/2012) [-]
This was in college, I'm in university now, so haven't seen her in over a year.

******* gutted, I loved her.
#11 to #10 - Natelawl
Reply +81
(07/05/2012) [-]
OH ****** wow just got that
whore, moan HA
#9 - eridan
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
One time, I was on a field trip to the Kennedy Space Center up in Orlando, and there were two teachers on my bus. When the bus stopped, one of the teachers started sneezing a lot. The other teach him asked him, "Hey, are you okay? Are you sick?". Without missing a beat, the other teacher responded, "Nah, I'm just....allergic to Cape Canaveral."

Me and my friend burst out into laughter.
#7 - anon
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
#6 - VikingDK
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
I need that shirt!!
#24 to #6 - spycheckingpyro
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
sadly, that's one of his older shirts and you'd have to eBay "the miz shirt" to find it
#5 - umaya
-4
has deleted their comment [-]
#8 to #5 - xxleoxx
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
Holy **** you made a joke about wrestling being fake lololololololol
god i bet no one knows that
Hey fj did you know wrestling was fake
#4 - monoxboogie
Reply 0
(07/05/2012) [-]
love the fact that that kid was on mtv challenges for years and now hes a ****** wrestler
#3 - hydromatic
Reply +1
(07/05/2012) [-]
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#2 - adeem
Reply 0
(07/04/2012) [-]
foolish slut