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User avatar #183063 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly a year and a half now. Before we started dating, I was friends with a girl who was the first girl I loved. We never dated, but we were really close friends, and we kinda nearly dated a few times, but things never worked out. I chased her for nearly four years until I decided I had had enough. Nearly 6 months later, I started dating my current girlfriend. Me and the original girl stopped talking almost completely. That was fine with me. I wanted that because I felt I needed it in order to be happy.

So around New Years, she messaged me. We had the first real conversation we'd had in nearly a year. It didn't go well. We fought really bad. So we're really not on speaking terms now. I told my girlfriend, and she flipped out. We nearly broke up. I didn't do anything wrong, but that's what happened.

I really, really thought I was over her. I didn't start thinking of her until about a month ago. I don't know if I still have feelings for her. I don't think I do, but I don't know. Maybe I do, and it's nothing more than those feelings that everybody has for their first love. Maybe it's a bit more than that.

I don't know what to do about my relationship. I'm pretty positive I love my girlfriend, but I'm not sure if we fit in well. I don't really feel like our relationship is really going anywhere. I feel like every conversation we have is exactly similar to a previous conversation we've had. And idk. I just don't know if I really think that things are really working. No one's really done anything I guess, but I just don't know if I really see much of a future with her. And that kills me to say, because I know she sees one with me. And I really, really don't want to hurt her. I love her, and I wish that things were better, but idk what to do. I don't feel like I'm being a good boyfriend right now by staying with her. Honestly, what I feel like is I need a break for a few months. All of my life I've kinda jumped from crush to crush, and I guess I feel like I need to figure myself out right now. But I really hate the idea of putting a relationship on hold.

Idk. What do I do?
User avatar #183081 to #183063 - womanexplain (04/29/2015) [-]
In honesty, you need to accept that this crush didn't work out for a reason, block her from social media and don't talk to her. You are over her you're just bringing memories back that are confusing you. Don't allow that to happen.
As for your current girlfriend, not having much to talk about and not seeing a future are serious issues. Especially if you're thinking of someone else too. You need to have a serious discussion with her, tell her exactly how you feel and tell her what you need and how you might be able to get it together. Maybe you do need to be alone to figure yourself out, but if you can talk to your girlfriend and work it out it may be for the best. Just remember, if you don't talk it'll get worse. Relationships require good communication.
Fucking forget that old girl mayne, sides not knowing how you feel about an old love is very normal, it's very difficult to just forget about someone like that, and even if you decide to, maybe your feelings will always be confused.
I still have feelings for my ex, but I know that our relationship was fucked up and that we would never work together. I really resent him too, so even if there will always be a place for him in my heart as my first love, I can dismiss my feelings with the rationale that we would never work together, and that he doesn't reciprocate those feelings.
User avatar #183080 to #183063 - ithinkimightbelost (04/29/2015) [-]
sugoi and tikitaco gave you some pretty solid advice, and it was the same advice I'd have given you. Just thought I'd let you know you're not the only one who can't shake the feelings of your first love, even though sometimes it feels like you're the only one in the world with that problem.

I've been through what you're going through, but I made the wrong decision and let go of what I had to chase after what I thought I wanted. By doing that, I lost both and everything spiraled out of control from there, things got ugly, and it took me a long time to get myself back together.

Our first loves are special to us, and they never really fade away completely. I'm just unlucky because the person who happens to complete me also happens to be absolutely toxic to me, and me for her.

Take sugoi and tikitaco's advice, work on your current relationship. From experience I can say that more often than not, your nostalgia and reality rarely match up to be the same thing. You love your girlfriend, remember why you fell in love with her and keep building from there.
User avatar #183065 to #183063 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
You fix your current relationship instead of looking for another one.
You want to "figure yourself out" you can do it together, discuss it with her and get a second opinion, just like how right now you're asking for a second opinion from us, get a second opinion from her as well.
User avatar #183066 to #183065 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
how do you tell your girlfriend you're questioning your relationship because you may still have feelings for someone else?
User avatar #183067 to #183066 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
You don't say that for one.
You say you feel like this relationship has hit a plateau and you wanna do something to renew that spark you guys had at the beginning or something along those lines.

And serious bro you got that nostalgia vision on hard, don't fall for it.
User avatar #183069 to #183067 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
how do you know? I mean i was crazy about this girl for the longest time. seriously, from the moment i met her. i tried getting over her several times before i just stopped talking to her, but it always turned out the same way. what if the same thing is happening now?
User avatar #183070 to #183069 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
I know because I've been through it before, I've had friends go through it before, it's a thing trust me. Or not, it's up to you bruh.

Unfortunately with emotional stuff i can't exactly give you concrete textbook answers, only personal advice with anecdotal evidence at best.
User avatar #183071 to #183070 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
I know... I guess that's the hardest thing. Thanks man.
User avatar #183073 to #183071 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
Yeah it's hard, but you can do it man!
Good luck!
User avatar #183064 to #183063 - tikitaco (04/29/2015) [-]
I think that you are having nostalgic feelings for your first crush because you haven't spoken to her for a while, and all the old feelings are coming back to you. I think you should let them pass though, as you shouldn't stay fixated over this one girl (especially if you're fighting the first time you talk to each other in a long time.)

Also, If you see no future with your current girlfriend, wouldn't it the smart thing just to dump her? Why do you think you have to stay with her when you yourself potentially breaking up with her in the future anyways? I would talk to your girlfriend about how you feel, and if you can possibly spice the relationship up for the both of you??
User avatar #183068 to #183064 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
I was unclear about that. We always got along well until recently. The reason we started talking again was because she wanted to know why i suddenly stopped talking to her.

i just don't know for sure. again, i still think i want to be with her, but i'm just not sure if i'm ready for something serious right now. i really feel like me telling her these problems i'm having would honestly just lead to a breakup
User avatar #183072 to #183068 - tikitaco (04/29/2015) [-]
Hmmm, that's a tough one. I know you said you don't really like it, but possibly time off is what you need to get your life in order?
User avatar #183074 to #183072 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
I agree completely. I guess what I'm scared of is me getting things together, deciding that what I want is to get back together with my girlfriend, and not being able to
User avatar #183075 to #183074 - tikitaco (04/29/2015) [-]
I hear you dude, I really do. We have to make these kinds of big choices in life to not only make ourselves happy, but our ability to make others happy (in this case, your current gf). If you do end up making the choice of putting your relationship on hold and she does wait, maybe this girl is something more. :o

Only you can make the right choice, I wish you good luck.
User avatar #183076 to #183075 - iliekcereal (04/29/2015) [-]
thanks man
User avatar #183039 - nigalthornberry (04/29/2015) [-]
I'm having trouble reading this persons feelings
Now we've been friends for a very long time and we've had our times of really getting pissed at each other and not talking for a while. I recently got a class with her after about 6 months of not talking except for a Hi in the hall every now and then. When we first saw we had each other in a class together she was pretty happy to see me jumping around and shit I was kind of like yea fuck you though( I remembered why we stopped talking and held it to her) as the class went on it was only really me her and 5 other people who spoke English in there and so we kind of started talking again. I asked her how her day was and such and it was either its okay, she was pissed, or she was tired( although I know her well enough to know she wasn't really tired but something was wrong) we talked and I made her laugh a lot and were usually talking. It seems alright except some days she seems like she wants to talk to me alot, or she remembers all the good times we've had and how much we know about each other but then there's others where its like she can't give a shit about me and I should go leave.

I'm not sure how she feels about me its obvious there's no romantic love there but as a friendship I don't know how it is with us
User avatar #183060 to #183039 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
Best advice is don't think about it.
Don't think about where you stand, don't think about the relationship somehow blossoming into young love, don't think about how something else could happen and you'd hate each others guts forever. Don't think about any of that.

Just go with the flow, if she's chatty and you're bothered entertaining her for a bit then just chat with her and kill some time. If you feel like chatting her up then go ahead, if she's in the mood she'll reciprocate. Just keep things simple is what I'm saying.
User avatar #183124 to #183060 - nigalthornberry (04/30/2015) [-]
I get what your saying but just the feeling of her not wanting to talk makes me feel like I fucked up
User avatar #183128 to #183124 - sugoi (04/30/2015) [-]
She probably just needs some space so give it to her.
If you really did fuck up I don't think she would keep coming back.
Plus she could just be going through mood swings, sounds mean and generalizing but I had a friend that would for at least 4 weeks, tell everyone that tried to talk to her to fuck off, she wasn't actually angry with them, she was just super depressed and I guess irritable at the time.
User avatar #183130 to #183128 - nigalthornberry (04/30/2015) [-]
I'm pretty sure your right thanks man I'm thankful for you
I apologized to her at the end of the day and she said " its not you I'm mad at its __-_" she didn't seem to have much emotion behind it but I think she was more focused on the fact that she was about to get yelled at by her dad
User avatar #183131 to #183130 - sugoi (04/30/2015) [-]
No worries man.
Wish you luck through this.
User avatar #183058 to #183039 - tikitaco (04/29/2015) [-]
It's so iffy with some people when it comes to that kind of thing, so there's no way to tell for sure. Does she usually hold grudges or talk about hating someone for something they did a while ago? You will be able to tell how she feels about you guys being friends at the end of the class because if she still talks to you after that then she wants to be friends, if she doesn't then you know for sure.
User avatar #183129 to #183058 - nigalthornberry (04/30/2015) [-]
She doesn't seem to say much about the guys since she usually cuts them off completely and for girls she just never talks to them and kind of holds them against her
Sometimes she tells me shit she hates about people like it's a secret
I also think I pissed her off today
#183031 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
Is it wrong to manipulate someone into something better? now i'm not saying steal someone's woman, but the guy they are "seeing" is a total ass, just plain old abuser using a nice face.

would it be wrong to lead them away from that situation?
User avatar #183062 to #183031 - cpawsome ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
Life is just a beautiful tragedy. Everything is composed of such bad things with such a nice look. When put together they are what make up this world.
in all honesty I was just writing from the heaRt.
Everyone should be given the chance to learn.
User avatar #183061 to #183031 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
I'd recommend a one on one talk about it and leave the choice in your friend's hands.
I know it's hard to see a friend with someone you can clearly see is a jerk but there may be some underlying reasons for their relationship that you don't know of.

Just make sure they are aware that you don't approve of their partner and why, then don't bring it up again. Being pestered even if it's for your own good just makes you dislike the pesterer.
User avatar #183057 to #183031 - tikitaco (04/29/2015) [-]
I'd say it'd be better to show or find a way to lead that person to the conclusion that the person is an "abuser just using a nice face". Manipulating sounds like you're forcing them to the conclusion, or bringing them to the conclusion without the proper evidence.
User avatar #183047 to #183031 - ferrettamer ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
I don't think it would be wrong.
User avatar #183032 to #183031 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
Wow, that's a pretty huge grey area. I can see why you're a bit conflicted.

Hm.

I'd say, personally, in some cases it might be best for them to come to the realization of their errors by themselves while you encourage and support them from the side. Everyone makes mistakes in life, in relationships significantly so, but they'll never learn from their mistakes if they're not given time to discover them on their own.

That's my two cents, make of it what you will.
#183033 to #183032 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
It is a gray area, i don't think of things in terms of good or bad, but in this case, i feel like shit no matter what i chose, if i lead them away from this, i stopped them from having a relationship(even if the dude is a total dick), but if i leave them there, they will get hurt.

User avatar #183034 to #183033 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
Is she physically in danger from him?
#183035 to #183034 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
as of yet, no.
User avatar #183036 to #183035 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
Then I can understand your frustration with having to witness this, believe me, but unless she is in physical danger, your intervention would always make you "that guy" to her. She'd always see you as the one who broke up her relationship.
#183037 to #183036 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
Don't i fucking know it, and in a way it is my fault too, i said they should be more out going, that they should seek something, but karma must be a bitch because she doesn't deserve this.
User avatar #183041 to #183037 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
What happened, if I may pry? I'd like to get a better idea about her situation.
#183042 to #183041 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
she is lets say "not a 10", but she is a wonderful girl, don't get me wrong.

she has some esteem issues, but they just need some working on, but that isn't the point.

We where talking about relationships, and she said she wanted to get back into the water as it where, and of course i encouraged her, i like anyone would was there for encouragement. i just didn't thin she would find an ass like him, and i can see it starting, the way he talks, the way he acts, and sitting there is driving me nuts.
User avatar #183045 to #183042 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
Is any of this driven by pride or envy?

There wouldn't be anything wrong with that, that's very human, but if that were the case, even a little bit, then it would be up to you to realize where you draw the line of involvement with them.

It sounds like you do care about her, which is excellent, she'll always need that in you so long as you're willing to provide it to her, but let her experience this for herself, I think. She needs to feel the ups and downs of bad relationships for herself to understand and appreciate them.
#183051 to #183045 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
yes and no, would i do her, sure, but i don't need to, i have someone we're fine, all's dandy on that front.

i want to, i'm leaving doors open for her, but she is a very internalized person, she wont complain, she wont say whats wrong, she would rather try and put up with it, and i don't want her stuck there, thinking no one is going to help her.
User avatar #183028 - ilovehue ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
ok so my friend's visa is expiring very soon. Can I get in trouble for offering shelter? I'm in Canada.
User avatar #183030 to #183028 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
If their visa is expired, they are an illegal immigrant until they renew it. If you decide to shelter them, it's a felony.
User avatar #183038 to #183030 - ilovehue ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
okay thanks. seemed blatantly illegal but had a doubt. are you talking about canadian law?
User avatar #183040 to #183038 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
It's a felony in both American and Canadian law, but the sentences vary between the two countries.
User avatar #183024 - thegrungelover (04/29/2015) [-]
Hi, I need some advice. I just had sex for the first time last night and the entire time we were having sex I kept getting soft during it. She jerked me off for a little and then got soft. She gave me head for a little bit and got soft again. Even when I was penetrating her i would get a little soft. I love her with all my heart and she is beautiful, but im afraid this will hurt our relationship. What should I do?
#183104 to #183024 - minutes (04/29/2015) [-]
It was your first time, this is perfectly normal.
Happens to a lot of people. Not me though. I definitly didn't have problems getting an erection at all. I definitly didn't get soft everytime i tried to put on a condom. DEFINITLY not.
User avatar #183029 to #183024 - unforgivenfive ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
it happens to every one. don't worry about it. tell her your little brain matters more than your big one.
User avatar #183043 to #183029 - thegrungelover (04/29/2015) [-]
Thank you, I guess its from being nervous. I won't let it get to me.
User avatar #183025 to #183024 - alexanderburns (04/29/2015) [-]
stop being gay
User avatar #183026 to #183025 - thegrungelover (04/29/2015) [-]
Thanks...
User avatar #183021 - erikus (04/28/2015) [-]
due to bad planification gotta study overnight.

I'm suppossed to wake up in 5 hours.

Shoud I:

a) Try to speed-study everything, then try to get non-stop sleep.

b) Take 30 min naps every now and then until is time.

c) Don't sleep, if I don't go to bed I won't have to wake up.

d) Don't study, it's useless already, go to bed with whatever I've learned today.
User avatar #183023 to #183021 - sugoi (04/29/2015) [-]
A
Being awake and not tired and not sick is really really important during whatever you go, probably a test. Rush study at night, sleep and make sure you have enough (8 hours or something) then study till the test starts.
User avatar #183022 to #183021 - magicjesuscf ONLINE (04/29/2015) [-]
E. None of the above, procrastinate and spend all night using the internet.
#183013 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
Here is to hoping I can move out by the time I am about 20.

I don't want to stay with my parents any further into my adulthood unless absolutely necessary.
User avatar #183095 to #183013 - dudeheit (04/29/2015) [-]
I hope you can get out. I still live with my parents because the way to uni is "not so long" about an hour and a half and right now it wouldn't make sense to move out because of reasons. Find a job and save every money you earn and speak with your parents that you wanna move out.
#183020 to #183013 - magicjesuscf ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
MFW I'm twenty and I live with my dad but I still have to pay rent and go to college.
Best of both worlds. Jealous faggot?
User avatar #182992 - sineztro (04/28/2015) [-]
Hey anyone know the half reaction for H2O2 -> O2
#182989 - ajcdish (04/28/2015) [-]
Any firemen or someones who knows about it? i want to volunteer in my university but i don't know how "fit" do you need to be
User avatar #183096 to #182989 - dudeheit (04/29/2015) [-]
A friend of mine is a firemen and I would say he is about average. He is really thin but he has a good stamina.
User avatar #183016 to #182989 - youngneil ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
You need to be like professional football player level of fitness.
Like, as fit as you can possibly be.
User avatar #183018 to #183016 - shaunata (04/28/2015) [-]
This, thats why you see such huge guys in the departments, being able to do heavy athletic lifting is a nesessity simply because for picking up debris.
User avatar #182982 - magicjesuscf ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
How far does a person have to be for it to be socially acceptable not to say "bless you"? What is the ideal proximity?
User avatar #182996 to #182982 - hirollin (04/28/2015) [-]
id say a 2 mile radius is good
User avatar #182983 to #182982 - magicjesuscf ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
I'm talking about when someone sneezes of course.
User avatar #182985 to #182983 - lordbrauner (04/28/2015) [-]
I'll yell it across a room, it's no skin off my nose.
User avatar #182986 to #182985 - magicjesuscf ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
Yell across the room?! What are you insane?
User avatar #182988 to #182986 - lordbrauner (04/28/2015) [-]
Insane is a legal term, so I demand my lawyer be present before we get any further into that discussion.
User avatar #182991 to #182988 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
If you think I'm insane wait until you meet my other personalities
User avatar #182979 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
In my messenger app there's a list of people entitled people who have messenger, even though I have my ex blocked he's on this list, how do I remove the list? I don't want to see his name.
User avatar #182980 to #182979 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Never mind figured it out
User avatar #182998 to #182980 - hirollin (04/28/2015) [-]
confusedasian got it. don't worry he's there for you.
User avatar #183003 to #182998 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
I ship you and smoke cat
User avatar #183005 to #183003 - hirollin (04/28/2015) [-]
don't know what those words mean.
User avatar #183008 to #183005 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Just say yes
User avatar #183000 to #182998 - confusedasian (04/28/2015) [-]
I can help you too.
User avatar #183002 to #183000 - hirollin (04/28/2015) [-]
Do you know where my chair is?
User avatar #183007 to #183002 - confusedasian (04/28/2015) [-]
Could you be sitting on it?
User avatar #183009 to #183007 - hirollin (04/28/2015) [-]
yes that is where it is. thank you.
User avatar #182981 to #182980 - confusedasian (04/28/2015) [-]
Glad I could be of assistance.
#183001 to #182984 - confusedasian (04/28/2015) [-]
Do not deny me.
Do not deny me.
#183004 to #183001 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Smoke cat have mercy my beautiful rival
Smoke cat have mercy my beautiful rival
#183010 to #183004 - confusedasian (04/28/2015) [-]
I shall allow time to pray to your God for mercy, for I shall show you none.
I shall allow time to pray to your God for mercy, for I shall show you none.
User avatar #183012 to #183010 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Aww smoke cat you're so cute
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#182972 - muchname has deleted their comment [-]
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#182971 - muchname has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #182965 - cpawsome ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
I can seem to cum from sex.
Lost my virginity, Fucked for 20 minutes with out cumin.
Next time for 30 minutes, hadn't tapped either, no cumin.
User avatar #182978 to #182965 - drastronomy (04/28/2015) [-]
that means ur gay
User avatar #182966 to #182965 - notred ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
Generally when it's your first time it's very hard to cum. Mostly because you're nervous.

Just relax and enjoy yourself. If anything ask her to do some more so you can relax and focus on that.
User avatar #182944 - whompers (04/28/2015) [-]
Hi, how do I upvote/thumb comments posted on my profile left by nice users? Thank you.
User avatar #182975 to #182944 - ieatbengay (04/28/2015) [-]
You cant on profiles
User avatar #182942 - larsfillmore (04/28/2015) [-]
After all those applications I put in online I got 2 callbacks and at the end of those interviews I got the usual"we'll be sure to call you back for another interview once we review your application" I tried calling one store but apparently the HR is never in and the other Im waiting until Friday to call

Would it be better to go to a store where I submit an application in person? Or am I just a horrible fuckup and should an hero
#182947 to #182942 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
Online should be fine but putting it in in-person as well can only help. Be sure to keep in contact actively with your potential employers and let them know you're truly interested.
User avatar #182954 to #182947 - larsfillmore (04/28/2015) [-]
I feel like that when I apply online it just goes to a junk mail box though and do you have any idea what to say to them when I call them? Like is it something like "Hi can I talk to to the hiring manager please?... I was wondering if you have had time to review my application"
User avatar #182916 - megapepsifreak (04/28/2015) [-]
what is better to say to a girl?

you are the most beautiful thing in the world
or
you are the most beautiful girl in the world

one say that there is no thing more beautiful than you but likens them to an object,
the other is say they're the best girl in the world

inb4 tfw no gf
#183015 to #182916 - unitedabominations (04/28/2015) [-]
imo the best thing to tell a girl is that she's thicker then a bowl of oatmeal
User avatar #182970 to #182916 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
No offense but that comment is so generic, try switching it up a little 'to me you're the most beautiful girl in the word' or pick a specific feature 'you have the most beautiful eyes' maybe even a more intimate comment about her as a person to show how you know her well
User avatar #182939 to #182916 - nigalthornberry (04/28/2015) [-]
Girl
Even better would be to make something original and specific to her
User avatar #182925 to #182916 - watermelloon (04/28/2015) [-]
girl

im a girl and i definitely think 'girl' is the better option, 'thing' kind of makes me feel like I'm an object
User avatar #182926 to #182925 - megapepsifreak (04/28/2015) [-]
thanks dude
any thing you think would be better?
User avatar #182924 to #182916 - cloverhand (04/28/2015) [-]
I'd go with most beautiful girl in the world, saying thing might seem nicer when you think about it but it just doesn't sound quite right and does seem a little objectifying
User avatar #182927 to #182924 - megapepsifreak (04/28/2015) [-]
thanks dude
#182911 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
Relationship, 9 months = over
me = sad
do what?
User avatar #182930 to #182911 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Just reflect on how you feel for now and try to rationalize it the best you can, get out and about and see people too. Don't become a shut in.
#182937 to #182930 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
I honestly love her very much, but I couldn't deal with it anymore.

The relationship is definitely dead, but I have to handle my feelings and I just feel like shit in general.
User avatar #182938 to #182937 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Of course you do, I got dumped back in January by the first guy I've ever loved and I really really truly was in love. You just need to take it one day at a time, I promise it hurts less after a while. Just try and think of getting simple things done, like make sure you eat and sleep properly etc. it will take a while to heal, just make sure you look after yourself.
#182960 to #182938 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
I've had two relationships and they both ended in ways that make a train wreck look good.

I'm not even sure what to ask for. I just wish I didn't have to feel this way, and I wish she didn't have to push me as far as she did. she dumped me 5 times, and most of the time it felt like she was barely putting any effort into talking to me. Like she would respond and all that, but if I didn't steer the conversation, we had nothing to talk about. I would basically keep asking her questions and pulling teeth until I struck something she wanted to talk about, and then instead of actually talking about it, she would rant and not really let me add anything unless I interrupted her entirely.
#182968 to #182960 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
In this case at least then it seems that she was indecisive and completely incompatible. Don't bother with girls who don't know if they want you around or not, you will find someone who is certain. Tbh she sounds manipulative as shit, don't ever let her throw you around again. She's just probably got some sort of power complex. Listen, any relationship is unhealthy when you are putting in 75% of the effort, and it's never worth it once it gets to that stage.    
You need to just try and rationalize at this stage that you can't return to her and that it's over, and accept whatever emotions accompany that conclusion. Don't deny yourself to feel whatever you feel, cry if you want, whatever you feel get it out do not repress it.   
Your fj family is here for you bro, stay strong you can do it I promise.
In this case at least then it seems that she was indecisive and completely incompatible. Don't bother with girls who don't know if they want you around or not, you will find someone who is certain. Tbh she sounds manipulative as shit, don't ever let her throw you around again. She's just probably got some sort of power complex. Listen, any relationship is unhealthy when you are putting in 75% of the effort, and it's never worth it once it gets to that stage.
You need to just try and rationalize at this stage that you can't return to her and that it's over, and accept whatever emotions accompany that conclusion. Don't deny yourself to feel whatever you feel, cry if you want, whatever you feel get it out do not repress it.
Your fj family is here for you bro, stay strong you can do it I promise.
#182964 to #182960 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
I honestly feel like I was dating her just to kill the loneliness, and ended up catching feelings along the way.

I think about this stuff all the time, and for a while I thought something was wrong with me, and people online will certainly pick a side and tell me that either I was right, or she is right and there is something wrong with me. I can change the outcome based on how I word the story, but the truth is that I think that dating her just to kill the loneliness was a mistake that me and her both made, and because we both did it, two people that really shouldn't have been together actually ended up together.
User avatar #182969 to #182964 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Learn from that lesson then, don't damn yourself for something you can't change. Even if it was to kill loneliness, it wasn't always that way, it was a legitimate relationship with real feelings. If you both hadn't felt how you said you did you wouldn't have gotten back together over and over. It's just that sometimes feelings aren't enough.
#182973 to #182969 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
thanks for all the help, and sorry about your long day.
#182955 to #182938 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
Another example of how you naturally drive people away with you totally non-nasty attitude.
User avatar #182958 to #182955 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
I didn't drive anyone away please fuck off, you must've had an awful day to be so disgusting. Why don't you actually talk to me without the anon title so we can deal with this problem you seem to have with me?
#182963 to #182958 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
Lol. I don't bother with an account because the whole of my time spent on this shit hole of a site is just to play this little game. I actually have most all if my shit in my life all together and an relatively happy. But this it's just fun for me. There. Now it's not gonna fun anymore though because you know. I'm gonna go find a new playmate.
take nothing I've said seriously. I meant none of it. It's just fun for me. It's one of my few issues right now. Is rather bash on someone like yourself who isn't likely to believe me than someone I know in person. I feel like I have throw words around all the time so I do and I do it online so I don't hurt those I actually know. Glad you don't let it hit you too hard.
User avatar #182967 to #182963 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Well you did upset me however I'll brush it off now you've finally been civil. You may have things relatively together but your abusive nature is something you may want to consider channelling in a more positive way (kinky sex lol). Just try and back off people okay, I've had a long day personally and I don't need this crap from someone I don't know when I've just tried to help.
#182961 to #182958 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
and that is a different anon.
User avatar #182962 to #182961 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
I know it is don't worry they've done this a few times before.
User avatar #182923 to #182911 - lolikikolik (04/28/2015) [-]
FUCK HER FRIEND
#182915 to #182911 - unitedabominations (04/28/2015) [-]
go fuck something else
User avatar #182912 to #182911 - sugoi (04/28/2015) [-]
Play games
Watch anime
Get another significant other
#182913 to #182912 - Rascal (04/28/2015) [-]
User avatar #182900 - crystalversion (04/28/2015) [-]
Hey everyone don't know if this is personal or anyone wants to share their experiences but I recently went to the doctor for a physical and I opened up to her and the doctor, the social worker and the guy who gave me an evaluation think I'm depressed from everything I've told them. Tomorrow is my first appointment with the therapist and I'm honestly scared. I don't know what to expect had a friend a few yeas back who told me all these things about how therapy doesn't help and a lot of other things like that and was wondering if anyone one here has seen a therapist and how it went, how they feel and how they're currently dealing with depression. sorry if this is too long
#183123 to #182900 - Rascal (04/29/2015) [-]
Use the therapy to your advantage. Trust me, no matter how much you hate the therapist/therapy, or are scared of it, just cooperate and try to develop a relationship with your therapist.
This is coming from a guy who was in therapy for a total of 8 years, and every second I resisted and refused to cooperate. Now I'm wishing I hadn't been such a stubborn fuck, because I might not be in the situation I am now.
User avatar #183135 to #183123 - crystalversion (04/30/2015) [-]
Thank you for the advice and yes I will be 100% willing to work with my therapist and take her advice.It feels a little hard just because I'm so negative about myself and my outlook on life but we're trying to tackle that and figure out ways for me to get happy and have energy to do things.
User avatar #182987 to #182900 - lordbrauner (04/28/2015) [-]
When I went to therapy, I was super tense and anxious about it. By the time I'd get home, I would be exhausted and completely drained. It's easier if you try to relax and just take it as it comes. They're not going to hurt you, they only want to try and help.

To me, it didn't help. I refused to accept any medication, though, and they really pushed hard for that at the end when it looked like I wasn't improving. Don't let that deter you from keeping an open mind, though, because I've seen it help a lot of people. We're not all the same, we have different feelings caused by different experiences.

Also, don't take your friend's advice entirely to heart. It seems like he/she is pretty jaded with the whole situation, so their bias is naturally going to lean towards disapproval. This is a problem you're going to have to experience for yourself to fix and understand.

Good luck.
User avatar #183046 to #182987 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
Thank you it went fine. I have a really bad habit of assuming that just because there's been bad points in my life that everything will be bad you know. But it was good she was really nice. I went over with her about some of the fears I said in this post and everything
User avatar #183050 to #183046 - lordbrauner (04/29/2015) [-]
Excellent, I'm really glad to hear that. Do your best not to form conclusions about this before anything happens. It a therapeutic environment, so try to feel comfortable about sitting back and just seeing what happens. Keep an open mind.

Also, don't be as stubborn as me about medication should that prove to be necessary. I couldn't bring myself to take it, but it might be the thing you need to bring things back into balance long enough for you to understand yourself better.
User avatar #183053 to #183050 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
It does feel very therapeutic maybe it's the therapist but she felt nice and calm. very sweet. and with the medication I'm leaning towards using them I just have to find out prices since my session and the evaluation weren't covered and there's a chance that the meds might not be covered as well But for the meantime I might ask help from my parents till I find a job and can pay for myself and pay them back.
User avatar #182974 to #182900 - alexanderburns (04/28/2015) [-]
you should be afraid because therapists actually feed on depressed people so he or she is going to murder you and eat the remains
User avatar #182931 to #182900 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Just go in with an open mind and disregard what your friend said, there are many many different approaches to psychology, And many different personalities that apply those different approaches too, a few therapists not being right for an individual is not enough experience to disregard therapy all together. Just be honest with the people you speak to and they will try their best to direct you to the people you need to help you.
User avatar #182928 to #182900 - notred ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
Therapy works as well as you want it to. You have to go in looking for help for it to work.
User avatar #183048 to #182928 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
yeah that's why I was very willing when they said it'd be better if I went because I don't like feeling like this especially since these kinds of feelings have been around since I was a kid.
User avatar #182902 to #182900 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
All you doing is airing out your problems. You'll probably find your own answers.
User avatar #182903 to #182902 - crystalversion (04/28/2015) [-]
So it doesn't really differ from therapist to therapist?
User avatar #182904 to #182903 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
I have no fore knowledge of this, but it seems like there is. Its a person after all. If I were in this situation I would go in there like I'm about to talk to a normal person. But a person who doesn't matter. Like this is about you so show you. Then react with what the therapist says. If they're good they are just gonna ask you questions. So answer them. You'll be fine man. You should do research on medications prescribed if any.
User avatar #182914 to #182904 - crystalversion (04/28/2015) [-]
Thank you I'm planning on trying to be calm and collected but a big problem is that when I speak about feelings or painful things I break down and cry.
medication wise I know they offered but so far I've said that I want to see how therapy helps before I make that step.I know someone in my family taking medication for depression but the way they've affected her is a big reason why I'm afraid of that step.
User avatar #182990 to #182914 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
I wish the best you can get.
User avatar #183049 to #182990 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #182933 to #182914 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Also don't be scared of letting loose your emotions in therapy I.e. Crying, most therapists think this is actually a healthy sign as it shows the release of pent up emotion. It's more worrying to be faced with someone who speaks of traumatic events/things that they find truly upsetting with a straight face.
User avatar #183052 to #182933 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
Thank you very much and yeah I cried, I was really open with her and talked about that friend and a lot of what she said and we went over the medicine as well. She also gave me different therapy options and the choice of medication which I'm thinking of taking. I just have to find out the prices since my issuance doesn't cover any of these sessions and there's a chance the meds might not be covered.
User avatar #183078 to #183052 - womanexplain (04/29/2015) [-]
Maybe you could query your insurance company and ask if they'd cover it? Ask your therapist about cost too? It makes me so mad that you have to pay for this stuff in America, it's so wrong.
User avatar #183084 to #183078 - crystalversion (04/29/2015) [-]
I plan on calling in the morning to see how much it would be or ask my mom since she knows more about our plan. What the therapist told me was that for medication I do need to schedule an appointment with my doctor to see if medication is right for me and all that and it's usually $55 unless i can do that during a regular appointment (physicals and things like that) and that group therapy sessions are weekly but they're around $ 27.It bums me out that we do too I'm thankful thought that I have issuance now since I haven't had a proper doctors visit since 2011 especially since my mom's job is paying for medical insurance or else for myself, my parents and little sister it was somewhere around $300 a month I believe for it.
User avatar #183092 to #183084 - womanexplain (04/29/2015) [-]
Well I hope it all works out for you.
User avatar #183133 to #183092 - crystalversion (04/30/2015) [-]
Thank you
User avatar #182932 to #182914 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Also don't be scared of medication, I know it should be a last result, but no two anti depressants are the same. There are many many different types, just because your family member did not sit well with one does not mean you wouldn't do well on a similar medication.
User avatar #182893 - weinerdick ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
So a few weeks ago I posted on here asking for help with my car
Some fuckboy sideswiped my parked, stationary car
I still don't have a car, and I still can't find a job close enough to walk to or get a ride with my mom
I don't know what to do, craigslist's useless and I'm running out of possibles on monster.
All I have is a diploma and experience with welding from hs I failed by .1 point but a fail is still a fail
What do I do?
User avatar #182934 to #182893 - womanexplain (04/28/2015) [-]
Look in papers, Google online classifieds for your area, ask around at restaurants etc summer is coming up so there will be at least part time jobs going.
User avatar #182895 to #182893 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
Go street preform.
User avatar #182896 to #182895 - weinerdick ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
I have no skill to do so
User avatar #182898 to #182896 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
Can you say words out loud.
m.youtube.com/watch?v=Q5hS7eukUbQ
Do you have heart
m.youtube.com/watch?v=AnIO1XpKO4o
Then sing. My voice was horrible. Now I'm actually pretty good. Sing my friend. Don't tell me anything about nerves.
User avatar #182899 to #182898 - weinerdick ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
It's less about nerves and more about I need a real job and a new vehicle and need advice relating to both
User avatar #182901 to #182899 - joshualegitsky ONLINE (04/28/2015) [-]
One must build starting from the bottom- legit quote
If you find a good place and build up money during the day and look for jobs by night you'll be doing two things.
A. Your now popular among the public and money
B. You look for jobs at night.
All of this is the between options. You think 1 to 2. When in most cases you gotta go by the decimals. So take it as fast or slow as you want. .01 or .10 it kinda makes sense.
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