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#113377 - leshiggydiggy (01/22/2014) [-]
Look at this hot, saucy, CP. 10/10 would eat.
User avatar #113441 to #113377 - advicedude (01/23/2014) [-]
not even.
6/10 maybe 7 with ranch
not even deep
no veggies.
User avatar #113388 to #113377 - lulzforteo **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
but in all seriousness, i like my pizza just cheese, no toppings
User avatar #113417 to #113379 - hackhazardly (01/23/2014) [-]
So that's what the white gooy stuff on cp is. plz no make is kill
User avatar #113375 - infamoustrapper (01/22/2014) [-]
How do I break up with my girlfriend?
User avatar #113440 to #113375 - advicedude (01/23/2014) [-]
These will all work.
User avatar #113420 to #113375 - thatonesouthernkid ONLINE (01/23/2014) [-]
use a super obvious line from a movie or something, and make sure it's cheesy as hell. she'll be glad you're not dating anymore.
User avatar #113402 to #113375 - obedientflyer (01/23/2014) [-]
Tell her about your dick pimples
User avatar #113398 to #113375 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
tell her about your ejaculation problem
User avatar #113376 to #113375 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
In person. And be honest but kind with her about why you want to break up, because she'll probably ask.
User avatar #113369 - closothehomosexual (01/22/2014) [-]
guys, calm down. it was a joke. it was an elaborate ruse
User avatar #113452 to #113369 - teoberry (01/23/2014) [-]
Even joking about that is disgusting. Kill yourself
User avatar #113405 to #113369 - misticalz (01/23/2014) [-]
kill yourself bitch
User avatar #113404 to #113369 - rokkarokkaali (01/23/2014) [-]
As elaborate as taking virginity from a baby.
User avatar #113345 - hickerydickery (01/22/2014) [-]
Hey, got my mom's co-worker that wants to pay me to format her laptop. Any idea how much I should charge him? It's just formatting, not even backup or anything.
User avatar #113442 to #113345 - advicedude (01/23/2014) [-]
25 dollars max.
User avatar #113444 to #113442 - hickerydickery (01/23/2014) [-]
Alright. Thanks for the input.
User avatar #113347 to #113345 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
User avatar #113325 - whynotzoidberglol (01/22/2014) [-]
Alright guys, I have this really hot Filipino girl who is into me and I need to learn Tagalog, fast! Any thing you can recommend?
User avatar #113443 to #113325 - advicedude (01/23/2014) [-]
learn basics, get it in
User avatar #113348 to #113325 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
Why learn tagalog when you can speak the much superior english language
User avatar #113350 to #113348 - whynotzoidberglol (01/22/2014) [-]
Cause this girl is very much perfect. And I don't mean small-flaws-that-I-am-willing-to-overlook perfect. I mean full on perfect. Absolutely nothing wrong with this girl.
User avatar #113370 to #113350 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
There are two ways to dehumanize someone: One way is to dismiss them, another is to idolize them. Everyone has flaws, and it sounds like you're putting her up on a pedestal which is unfair to her, because it is setting her up for failure you when you finally do realize her flaws. Be honest about her flaws and take her for who she is. She's a human being, not an angel.

That aside, have her help teach you. Best way to learn a language is to be immersed in it.
User avatar #113392 to #113370 - whynotzoidberglol (01/22/2014) [-]
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Please, I am no "nice guy". I know what you mean, and I have done it before to a girl. I am terribly emotional stable, so when this girl reveals her flaws, unless she kills kittens, she's still going to be perfect for me. But, until then, I can honestly spot no flaws with her no matter how hard I try.
User avatar #113352 to #113350 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
You're a lucky guy to have found someone like that. How about asking her to teach you, so you can spend more time with her and learn it?
User avatar #113353 to #113352 - whynotzoidberglol (01/22/2014) [-]
But then, if I surprise her by speaking it, maybe she'll give me head. Or, I could just spend time with her more. You know what, that's what I'll do. Thanks, kind stranger.
User avatar #113354 to #113353 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
Happy to help, buddy!
User avatar #113337 to #113325 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Give her the D
User avatar #113274 - prototypedaytona ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
I met this really cool girl, but I'm a bit short-staffed when it comes to conversation topics. We've talked about jobs, school, TV, music, movies, siblings, etc, all since I met and started texting her around 15 hours ago. Any good things to talk about?
User avatar #113338 to #113274 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Talk about your D
User avatar #113372 to #113338 - prototypedaytona ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
HA no.
User avatar #113373 to #113372 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
U gun get friendzones then
User avatar #113374 to #113373 - prototypedaytona ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
As I told youdontknoeme, I'd be perfectly fine with it going past friends, but that's not my goal. I'd be okay and just fine if we only remained friends.
#113371 to #113338 - prototypedaytona has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #113289 to #113274 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Quit the small talk and ask about her interests if you can. Or even involve your own in some way and get something that you're both into, or something that your open about to talk about maybe c:

Are you looking to be friends with her or potentially more?
User avatar #113290 to #113289 - prototypedaytona ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
I'm up for whatever happens, whether it is more than just friendship or not. Thanks for the advice!
User avatar #113292 to #113290 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Just doing my best :3

User avatar #113268 - leonhardt (01/22/2014) [-]
So the guys at work are taking me to a strip club to lose my V-card.

Never been to one. Any advice on what to do/what not to do?
User avatar #113339 to #113268 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Try to give the D at a strip club? Good luck.
User avatar #113319 to #113268 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
You're there to lose your virginity, not to impress anyone.
Oh, have fun :3
User avatar #113332 to #113319 - leonhardt (01/22/2014) [-]
I just don't want to look like a dumbass and embarrass myself.
User avatar #113300 to #113268 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (01/22/2014) [-]
wear a condom
#113393 to #113300 - harleycurnow (01/22/2014) [-]
Wear 2.
User avatar #113400 to #113393 - awesomerninjathing ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
actually that's worse than not even wearing one
#113476 to #113400 - harleycurnow (01/23/2014) [-]
How? How could it be worse? does the rubber duplicate STIs? It's supposedly worse than wearing one or about the same as wearing none but what could be worse than wearing nothing?
User avatar #113301 to #113300 - leonhardt (01/22/2014) [-]
#113270 to #113268 - fargtwo has deleted their comment [-]
#113253 - erano (01/22/2014) [-]
I'm looking to sell my computer, bought it piece by piece for a total of a grand. Now I need to get rid of it. I live in the UK, so what would be the best way to sell it fast and for a decent price?
User avatar #113263 to #113253 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Well, the obvious two options would be to sell it as a whole for something of a profit (Depending on how old the components inside are and whether they're outdated or not) then there's the other choice of selling it piece by piece, which I guess would be a lot quicker. But it's up to you :3
#113267 to #113263 - erano (01/22/2014) [-]
As a whole, looking to sell it for around 500-700 pounds. Ebay? Or how?
User avatar #113287 to #113267 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Ebay would be good.
Not to mention, as we're both UK dwellers you could also use GumTree, there's no law as to selling the same thing on two different sites, then it'll most likely get sold quick as it'd be seen by a lot more people c:
User avatar #113401 to #113287 - billybong (01/23/2014) [-]
Heh, I saw this post ages ago, and was going to mention gumtree, I thought it was an Australian exclusive thing
User avatar #113478 to #113401 - youdontknoeme (01/23/2014) [-]
It's quite new to the UK I think, not sure c:
#113293 to #113287 - erano (01/22/2014) [-]
Well I have uploaded it to Gumtree, as for Ebay I'm not entirely sure how to work that.
User avatar #113294 to #113293 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Hmm. Neither am I, I don't sell anything online.

Maybe ask someone you know who uses or it experiment with it. It can't be that challenging c:
#113302 to #113294 - erano (01/22/2014) [-]
Think I will do that. Hopefully it will be sold first.

Windows 7 Home Premium 64-bit
Intel Core i5-2500K
CPU @ 3.30GHz (4CPUs)
8GB Ram
NVIDIA GeForce GTX 570
1TB Hard Drive
DirectX 11
Award Modular BIOS v6.00PG

How much could it go for you reckon?
User avatar #113380 to #113302 - drastronomy (01/22/2014) [-]
500-800 seems logical

its a good budget pc
#113381 to #113380 - erano (01/22/2014) [-]
Thank you, I shall see if I can sell it for that amount.
User avatar #113308 to #113302 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Best ask someone else that xD

Or, you could look up those yourself on GumTree, see who you're competing with and adjust the price to something you think someone else will think is a bargain :3
User avatar #113241 - twdeathnote (01/22/2014) [-]
I know this is something that probably comes up a lot here, but I feel awfully undesirable. I look myself in the mirror and I don't see a normal person, I see some sort of weird amalgamation of facial features that don't belong on me. This feeling quite drastically lowers my self esteem, and when I try to be confident, I'm told "yeah right" or "suuuure" or something of the sort. It's devastating. Added with the fact that when I have someone that I really care for, that I would give anything to be with, I'm rejected instantly. PS: I'm male and 16.

>inb4 too young who cares
User avatar #113279 to #113241 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
Everyone has their own perceptions of their looks. Yes, some people are more desirable compared to others, that's life. At the end of the day it's important that your perception of yourself is fair and most of all, balanced.

Don't concentrate on your flaws, give your good parts about yourself in appearance and in personality equal attention too, that's what people see first and that's whats going to make you feel better. (Can't think of anything staight away about yourself as a pro? Give it some time and just be honest with yourself about).

I'm 16 years old too, every teen has their low points and I learnt a lot by going through mine on my own. Just don't think you're the only one that cares about your well being either, that's just as bad.
Being a teen is the building blocks for the rest of your life too, its where you find your place in society, what hobbies/interests you have and how you develop into the person you want to be. You don't want to grow into what you don't want to now, do you?

I know mostly what I said doesn't help at all probably but all I can say that matters is that you're not the only one to go through this, there's people who feel/felt the same way as well so keep you chin up hot stuff <3
User avatar #113246 to #113241 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
It might just be a teenager thing, I feel like that all the time, even when people say "No you look fiiiiine, you're a swell motherfucker"
User avatar #113356 to #113246 - twdeathnote (01/22/2014) [-]
Mod commented on thread, swell with pride.

you are a mod arent you?
#113232 - Beenfiftyfive (01/22/2014) [-]
Hey guys, my mom passed away Saturday morning and every night at this time I can't go to sleep because I just vividly recall the past couple days and I just break down. I don't know what to do.
User avatar #113239 to #113232 - twdeathnote (01/22/2014) [-]
It's alright man/girl. Grief manifests in a lot of different ways. My grandmother, a person whom I loved dearly and considered to be my best friend, died in September. I cried myself to sleep, broke down crying during the day, and found myself thinking of her every second of my life, and I still do. I don't think you have anything wrong with you. The best thing you can do is accept your feelings, and let them out. Allow yourself to cry and be sad, angry or otherwise. Best of wishes, and I'm sorry for your loss.
User avatar #113235 to #113232 - faithrider (01/22/2014) [-]
there isn't an easy way to deal with death. it will take time especially if you were close. if you think that it is getting close to a mental illness you can seek professional help, but honestly as recently as this is this sounds to be a reasonable reaction. not yet nearing mental health issue. work your way through it one day at a time and you'll get through it.
User avatar #113207 - unncommon (01/22/2014) [-]
Does anyone know how to relieve blue-balls without masturbating?
I'm not masturbating anymore so I gotta know an alternative.
User avatar #113340 to #113207 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Give someone the D
User avatar #113349 to #113340 - unncommon (01/22/2014) [-]
It's okay, I figured out how to get rid of it without masturbation
User avatar #113355 to #113349 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
ooh, do tell.
User avatar #113240 to #113207 - twdeathnote (01/22/2014) [-]
Why aren't you masturbating?
User avatar #113226 to #113207 - hawaiianhappysauce (01/22/2014) [-]
Why not find a hobby so you don't think about sex all the time?
User avatar #113228 to #113226 - unncommon (01/22/2014) [-]
Eh it's not necessarily that I don't keep myself busy, it's just that I edged last night and now I have blue balls.
User avatar #113231 to #113229 - unncommon (01/22/2014) [-]
I touched my dick a lot but didn't orgasm.
User avatar #113213 to #113207 - Mortuus ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
You could go out and find a chick.

Or a dude.

Whatever you're into, man.
User avatar #113215 to #113213 - unncommon (01/22/2014) [-]
It's 00:16 and all my booty-calls have school tomorrow or live too far away /:
User avatar #113216 to #113215 - Mortuus ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Dude... just go fap.

I understand the whole self-discipline thing, but damn.
User avatar #113209 to #113207 - Ruspanic (01/22/2014) [-]
User avatar #113202 - nyuORlucy ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
my little sister self-harms and cuts. im the only one she's told and talks deep about it and am the only one she can apparently trust. i feel the only way to help is to tell our parents but i fear that by me betraying her trust like that could potentially make it worse. So should i involve the rest of the family or keep trying to help her myself?
User avatar #113204 to #113202 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
also, try to encourage her to tell your parents first. that way it lets her know that you want her to have the choice first.
User avatar #113206 to #113204 - nyuORlucy ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
i think ill try that first. i dont know what you would classify as bad. she has one visible mark on her wrist but usually scratches at it with scissors. i think she also burns her legs
User avatar #113203 to #113202 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
Okay, you remember when you were younger and learned that you have to keep other people's secrets if you promise not to tell anyone, except in instances where the other person could hurt themselves or someone else? This is one of those times. If its as bad as you say it is, you gotta tell your folks. Will she be pissed at you? Yes she will. But it's your duty as her big brother and family to keep her safe from herself. If you're uncertain about how your folks will react, maybe tell an aunt or uncle that she gets along with better to help support you first before talking to mom and dad.
#113194 - grohl has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #113283 to #113194 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
This is definitely something you should be talking to you Wife about, she knows you best c:
User avatar #113199 to #113194 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
That is a normal fear for a new father. Parenthood is a big responsibility and is new and scary, no matter how well you prepare yourself. If you don't like your father's example that was set there is always a possibility that you will emulate what you learned. But make a list of his traits you disagreed with and try to brainstorm alternatives ahead of time so you can nip bad habits in the bud. Talk to other fathers in your community whom you admire for advice. Keep open communication with your fiancee I'm sure she's feeling similar anxieties.

They say a mother bonds with her baby during her pregnancy and the father bonds when he sees the baby for the first time. You'll be surprised how naturally things will come to you once that baby is born and you hold it.

Sure, you'll make a few mistakes like any new parent, and you will have a lot to learn, but children are not made of glass and as long as you give that baby love and stability home there's nothing to fret about. Children are a lot of work but they are wonderful.

I'm sure you'll be a great dad!
#113184 - halomike (01/22/2014) [-]
Okay, so there's this chick that I went out with, but after a week into the relationship she started talking about her feelings for her old boyfriend. After a day or two of this I got fed up ad broke it off, cuz I didn't wanna be led around by her. The thing is we were best friends before hand, and after we broke up she's started hanging out with these real assholes. Like chicks from mean girls. And she's always so passive aggressive towards me anymore that it pisses me off to just be around her. And another thing she always does is try to make me jealous by talking about other guys. Now I don't get jealous very easily, but it's gotten to the point where it's just annoying that she's doing through all the trouble to put me in emotional distress. I wanna know from you guys if I should try to get back together with her or any ways to mend our friendship, cuz it's gotten to the point where I can barely stand to be around her.

Pic unrelated.
User avatar #113341 to #113184 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Give her the D
User avatar #113285 to #113184 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
I agree what the last guy said. Just don't lie about being busy, if she puts in the effort to come and ask you as to why you've distanced yourself from here, she at least deserves an honest answer.
#113195 to #113184 - flnonymousseven (01/22/2014) [-]
I had a girl that was Litterally just like this. just be glad you broke it off early.
just stop talking to her.
don't hang out with her. don't call her. don't respond to her texts. ignore her facebook notifications.

if she gives you shit, tell her to chill out, you've been busy.
she (and you) needs to believe that you've got better shit to do than deal with her. seriously. It'll tapper off.
User avatar #113178 - girrafalopegis ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Any advice to writing a spoken word poem? I'm not a very good poet, so any advice will help, I just need to create a poem that I can present to an audience that isn't totally awful.
#113225 to #113178 - aceonfire (01/22/2014) [-]
Write about something you are passionate about. Usually it makes it easier to write about a topic you feel strongly towards. Remember, not every line has to rhyme, but find a way to make the breaks flow smoothly.
User avatar #113181 to #113178 - advicedude (01/22/2014) [-]
User avatar #113172 - misterobotunicorn (01/22/2014) [-]
Share with me your backgrounds please
#113298 to #113172 - youdontknoeme (01/22/2014) [-]
As you may be able to tell, I like Blanka c:
#113247 to #113172 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
I used to change my wallpaper a lot, but then I made this and I've used it for a long, LONG ass time.

Glorious Turmion Kätilöt.
#113233 to #113172 - faithrider (01/22/2014) [-]
it alternates between this and....
User avatar #113188 to #113182 - misterobotunicorn (01/22/2014) [-]
i didnt find anything to my interest but i thank you for sharing
#113173 to #113172 - anonymous (01/22/2014) [-]
background as in a bio of us?
User avatar #113174 to #113173 - misterobotunicorn (01/22/2014) [-]
ooops sorry i meant computer wallpapaers
User avatar #113153 - hisatsuseagull (01/21/2014) [-]
I can't do anything
I can't make music
I can't go do activities
I don't like going out anymore
I don't want to burden people
I can only sit inside and play games
Cause that way I'm not harming anyone

That way I'm not hurting her..

I feel like I need to let go of my girlfriend but if I do that she will break emotionally.. she is already in a bad state.. she cut her wrists quite a bit now and I don't know what to do anymore. I've given her love and care. I have, I swear. I went out with her. Bought her flowers. I did everything that I though a good boyfriend should do. But I don't see much buch anymore. If she wants me to go with her anywhere I have to bare it.. it's no fun anymore.. a lot of silence. Same topics over and over again. I've lost interest.. but I still love her.. so now letting her go seems like the only option.. that way I can love her but not harm her.. I think that I'm the reason she has troubles.. I make her worry and college work piles up on her.. She keeps wearing more and more black and more make up to cover her face.. she doesn't it.. she lies to herself.. she makes so many dumb excuses everyday for simple things that should never need excuses...
I overlook these things and still tell her she is pretty and mean it.
I make her feel pretty. I act for her. I'm not getting anything back I think anymore..

I'm so stuck.. Nothing works..
User avatar #113201 to #113153 - delphine (01/22/2014) [-]
okay right now you and your girlfriend are in a mutually dependant relationship. NOT HEALTHY. She needs to get help for her self harm before she can ever hope to be in a happy and functional relationship. You cannot fix her, and by trying to do so you are putting too much emotional pressure on yourself which is probably why you feel like shit. I reiterate... YOU. CANNOT. FIX. HER. She needs professional help.

Let her go. Be single for awhile. Go for walks outside and get some fresh air. Learn to be happy being single.
#113196 to #113153 - flnonymousseven (01/22/2014) [-]
I would physically slap you across your fat face if I were in the room with you.

pull yourself the fuck together man. you're embarrassing yourself... Jesus.

first, this bitch:

forget her. ignore her. she sounds like an emotional drain on your life. you've done enogh for her. she doen't deserve any more of your time or effort, its a waste at this point. the only person who can help her is her. and she can, believe me. she'll be fine. they always are. and if she's not? there's nothing you could've/have to do about it.

just. fucking. let. her. go.

worry. about. you.

you can't do shit for her, if you can't do shit for yourself



Next: delete your FJ account, sell your games. Use the money to Take up a hobby, or a skill, be it music, or art, or math, or computer programing, cooking, electronics, idgaf, just pick something, then google tutorials online and practice (1000 hours I'm not kidding ) till you're good at it. if you give up, I swear to christ I will track you down and go full Tyler Durden on your pathetic ass.

you're welcome. now go.
User avatar #113169 to #113153 - makotoitou ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Yo that was like the edgiest shit I've ever seen. Wanna just say the problem in a non gay way?
User avatar #113167 to #113153 - infamoustrapper (01/22/2014) [-]
That first paragraph was the gayest thing I've ever read
#113152 - anonymous (01/21/2014) [-]
What do? I am dating fat girl 5/10 and going on 2 years lost virgin to long distance relationship met in college

also date milf going on 1 month hot 8/10

wot do?
User avatar #113343 to #113152 - imnotkickthecat ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
Give her the D
User avatar #113190 to #113152 - advicedude (01/22/2014) [-]
But do you "care".
User avatar #113176 to #113152 - adrilazzaro ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
screw the fat chicl
User avatar #113170 to #113152 - makotoitou ONLINE (01/22/2014) [-]
#113140 - leshiggydiggy (01/21/2014) [-]
When can I look at nsfw?   
What level?
When can I look at nsfw?
What level?
User avatar #113141 to #113140 - megavoir (01/21/2014) [-]
2 week old account minimum
#113197 to #113141 - flnonymousseven (01/22/2014) [-]
Hi yes, this is bullshit. I've been on here fore a month and I still can't get on NSFW. halp plz.
User avatar #113378 to #113197 - megavoir (01/22/2014) [-]
or it's two months. it's two something.
User avatar #113149 to #113147 - megavoir (01/21/2014) [-]
would you like to use my old account for the time being?
#113130 - rambomanthree (01/21/2014) [-]
Is it normal to cry and beat the shit out of your bed after you masturbate?
#113154 to #113130 - anonymous (01/21/2014) [-]
weren't you that guy who shitted his pants in public?
#113136 to #113130 - communistninja (01/21/2014) [-]
wait you're serious.

Oh god i pity you
User avatar #113131 to #113130 - misticalz (01/21/2014) [-]
What the fuck.
User avatar #113133 to #113131 - rambomanthree (01/21/2014) [-]
guess i need therapy then
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