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User avatar #114866 - wienersack (02/02/2014) [-]
Hey, guys, guess what? My depression is getting worse. I'm thinking more and more about drinking the bleach in my basement. I'm not even kidding. I even looked up how much bleach one has to drink to die. I need help, and I need it now.
#115094 to #114866 - anonymous (02/03/2014) [-]
Don't go anywhere.
User avatar #114992 to #114866 - nsfwcontent (02/03/2014) [-]
Look at how far you've come in your life.
There have been hard bits haven't there? But there have also been the good bits, the moments when you think to yourself, this is what I love, this is what it means to be alive. And maybe not soon but one day you will find something or someone that makes you feel like this is where you belong, this is your purpose in life, where you fit in. And after everything you went through to get there, you'll appreciate it so much more than someone who's had it easy because you'll know that you've suffered more than anyone else has to get here, to where you belong, your little piece of paradise.
User avatar #114939 to #114866 - thebigpenguin (02/02/2014) [-]
"Everybody is somebodies everything"

Don't do it
User avatar #114871 to #114866 - thechosenseven (02/02/2014) [-]
Your family, your friends, any dependents you have, hell, even the people you pay money too on a regular basis, everyone here on funnyjunk, we all care about you. So don't you fucking do it. Seek medical help, the advice of a loved one or just a friendly chat with a random dude because no matter how small you think you are, you matter to someone.
User avatar #114868 to #114866 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
K fuck nigga message me or something
User avatar #114859 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
so i coach jr ski racing, and one of the coaches is my age and pretty cute. i make small talk with her and joke around a little bit. i tried to get a chance to ask her to coffee but could get the right opportunity. i wont be at the next race and that race is the last one this season. should i message her on facebook? im 20 btw
#114861 to #114859 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
No just be patient
User avatar #114862 to #114861 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
i might not see her till next year.
#114863 to #114862 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
then you weigh the risk of asking her over facebook vs getting a better chance next year.
Its easier for you to judge in real life whether they would accept or not
User avatar #114864 to #114863 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
should i get her # and call her?
#114865 to #114864 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
again I cant judge if the method of contact would be a turn off by itself because i dont know you or her
User avatar #114867 to #114865 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
yeah i should prolly just sthap tinking wiht ma dick....
#114848 - kosmic ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
hey newfag with PCs here.  does anyone know how to disable secure boot on a newer asus mother board?  Shit wont let me boot up my OS on my new build
hey newfag with PCs here. does anyone know how to disable secure boot on a newer asus mother board? Shit wont let me boot up my OS on my new build
User avatar #114849 to #114848 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
ask games board
User avatar #114850 to #114849 - kosmic ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
But I want answers not bullshit
User avatar #114851 to #114850 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
they fap to building pcs over there so I think you'll get an answer
User avatar #114852 to #114851 - kosmic ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
ohhhhkay
#114846 - jbabco (02/02/2014) [-]
Does anyone know who this is?
Does anyone know who this is?
User avatar #114902 to #114846 - wydell (02/02/2014) [-]
The next Mrs. Wydell
User avatar #114847 to #114846 - misticalz ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
From this movie
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Secret!
Look through the cast I guess sorry
User avatar #114845 - comandante (02/02/2014) [-]
alright guys, here is my gripe. I like this girl. She says i am like her brother, that her true love is not in America (she is chinese) but she mentions it alot: she knows i like her (i think) so she knows it rustles my jimmies, so i guess she like messing with me. I finally got my flirting skills down, i always tease her lightly, we are together since we got math and physics together, and she laughs a lot with me. Thing is, she is really hard to talk to when things get serious. Don't know whether to go for it and it goes well, or she never knew and i fuck our relationship up.
User avatar #114835 - stealthnull ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
me and my girlfriend broke up..and i am just...nothing. I'm not sad or happy or even indifferent about it. I feel fucking nothing....does any one know a way i can get back to my normal self?
User avatar #114860 to #114835 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
get yourself nice and drunk, do a line of blow off a stripper's ass, then fuck said stripper. take pics to prove it.
User avatar #114838 to #114835 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Right nor it IS your normal self. It's normal to feel that numbness. It's your mind trying to adjust to this sudden change in your life. Who broke it up, or was it mutual?
User avatar #114895 to #114838 - stealthnull ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
It was pretty mutual
User avatar #114933 to #114895 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Just let yourself feel this way. No need to rush things. Your mind will get back on its feet after a bit.
User avatar #114937 to #114933 - stealthnull ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
I'l give it a shot. thanks for the help
User avatar #114834 - thehardcorechimp (02/02/2014) [-]
Doing a PSA for college, any ideas?
User avatar #114837 to #114834 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
The dangers of doing what other people tell you is right for your life
#114836 to #114834 - tiredofannon (02/02/2014) [-]
The danger of beer goggles.
User avatar #114831 - weebee (02/01/2014) [-]
Sometimes at random times, I really hate this one guy

He did something to me a long time ago that made me kinda question myself not gay or anything related

I really try to conceal this feeling but it always comes back

Suggestions?
User avatar #115206 to #114831 - garin (02/04/2014) [-]
It won't go away, just bide your time until you are no longer in constant contact with him then the feelings will fade.
User avatar #114839 to #114831 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
What did he do?
User avatar #114833 to #114831 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
kill him
User avatar #114829 - wox (02/01/2014) [-]
I need some advice.
I am trying to stop talking to this girl whom I have talked to every day for over three years.
It is really difficult for me to resist the temptation of texting her. Help?
User avatar #114840 to #114829 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
What happened?
User avatar #114912 to #114840 - wox (02/02/2014) [-]
We just really need to stop talking to each other.
It has been 22 hours now.
User avatar #114932 to #114912 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Strange reason, but okay. Try talking to other friends in the meantime. Whenever you notice yourself wanting to text the girl, try to snap yourself out of it.
User avatar #114830 to #114829 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
why?
User avatar #114913 to #114830 - wox (02/02/2014) [-]
We are not doing each other any good.
User avatar #114815 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Sup guys,

wanna watch some cool stuff on youtube, stuff like the slo mo guys and that guy that puts shit in shotgun shells and fires em, something interesting
User avatar #114821 to #114815 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
I watch youtube poop a lot. That stuff is pretty funny if you are familiar with the Wand of Gamelon and Hotel Mario.
User avatar #114822 to #114821 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Nope. Care to explain if possible?
User avatar #114823 to #114822 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
You can watch ventrilo harassment actually. Those are pretty funny.
Ventertainment - Nerd Confusion 3: The Ring

Just imagine a bunch of World of Warcraft players on ventrilo.
User avatar #114824 to #114823 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Okie dokie. Thanks!
User avatar #114825 to #114824 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
Ventrilo Harassment - Luigi

I went from this ventrilo to discover youtube poop.
User avatar #114826 to #114825 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Well right now I don't have time to watch them, but I will do soon, thanks again.
User avatar #114827 to #114826 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
Ventrilo Harassment - Baltimore Orioles another really good one.
#114811 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
tinychat.com/f jdirect come hang out
#114816 to #114813 - alphajunk (02/01/2014) [-]
<the only person who thumbed down.
User avatar #114801 - acemcgunner (02/01/2014) [-]
what are your plans for valentine's day?
User avatar #114841 to #114801 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Gonna' maybe go out by myself to a movie or something.
User avatar #114853 to #114841 - acemcgunner (02/02/2014) [-]
no bating?
User avatar #114858 to #114853 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Nah not really. Just wanted to go and see how it goes. Though depending on what happens within the next two weeks, my plans may change
User avatar #114820 to #114801 - nigalthornberry ONLINE (02/01/2014) [-]
Not entirely sure but im looking for a good sign to give this girl Not M the one i've been talking to for years some nice headphones since she likes listening to her music and she only has the shit ipod headphones.

We also might be making or covering a song together soon.
User avatar #114876 to #114857 - nigalthornberry ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
we already got a 50k contract
0
#114818 to #114801 - bringusashrubbery has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #114814 to #114801 - roliga (02/01/2014) [-]
When she get's to work there is gonna be one orchid (her favorite flower) in a vase on her desk with a tag saying one of the reasons I love/appreciate her
As the day goes by each hour I've set someone to go in and bring one orchid each hour with a tag that has a reason why I love her until there are 8 orchids
On the hood of her car in between the windowsill and windshield wiper is a love letter
When she gets home I've already planned a meal I want to cook for her, her roommate is going to be out of town so it's just us two.
Little bit of wine
Little bit of fuck
Go to sleep
#114808 to #114801 - gongthehawkeye (02/01/2014) [-]
&quot;Plans&quot;   
Good one....ha....ha...   
 so ronery
"Plans"
Good one....ha....ha...
so ronery
User avatar #114856 to #114808 - acemcgunner (02/02/2014) [-]
no girl?
User avatar #114804 to #114801 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
Reading, sleeping, and studying.
User avatar #114855 to #114804 - acemcgunner (02/02/2014) [-]
no girl?
User avatar #114919 to #114918 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/02/2014) [-]
No money, not perfect, live with parents. Which is why I study, read, and get a good night sleep because I have far more important things to worry about.
User avatar #114803 to #114801 - proxytoxic (02/01/2014) [-]
A whole lotta nothing.
User avatar #114854 to #114803 - acemcgunner (02/02/2014) [-]
no girl?
#114796 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
I need help guys,
I was on a thread and while looking through it someone posted "search cp on motherless" I have no idea what cp means so I just searched it and I got a message that said my ip was logged?! What does that mean is anything gonna happen? And what the fuck does cp mean
User avatar #114817 to #114796 - ferrettamer ONLINE (02/01/2014) [-]
CP is child porn, but most sites have that message to scare you, nothing will happen.
User avatar #114809 to #114796 - gongthehawkeye (02/01/2014) [-]
CP means Cheese Pizza.
Your IP was tracked so they could contact you when it's hot and ready.
User avatar #114807 to #114796 - wienersack (02/01/2014) [-]
CP is Child Porn
User avatar #114799 to #114796 - advicedude (02/01/2014) [-]
message?
User avatar #114797 to #114796 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
Looks like the N.S.A. has your computer.
#114798 to #114797 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
I'm from the uk?
User avatar #114802 to #114798 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
pfft, as if that'd stop them.
#114792 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
guys, i can't think straight, and think i may have mental or psychological issues. read on if you want to. hope you got a nice seat, because it's gonna be a loooooong ride.
if you want to ridicule me for possibly overreacting, go ahead to.

so, basically it's like this. it all started when i was young, i was pretty sheltered. it was just the home, school, and the occasional grocery store, so i didn't have much friends. i did have some, and they were nice, kind, an okay sized circle of friends, but almost every day of school, i would be constantly picked by either one guy, or the other. eventually, i grew to have what may have been a very mild case of haphephobia fear of touch at age 7. eventually, i acted....weird. i acted happy, calm, outgoing, etc. on the outside, but whenever i was alone, i would slip into blues lower than the Mariana Trench. strangely, i couldn't even cry. i was aroung 8 and a half. cont. below.
#114793 to #114792 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
no one knows, until now. where I'm telling it to you guys. eventually, at age 10, i tried offing myself. no joke. i tied a noose, got a mixture of battery acid, bleach, drain unclogger, and other things, in a small disposable cup. then, i made a small makeshift noose out of several ropes and wires. luckily, i spilled the cup, and the noose snapped. call it divine intervention or whatever, i just call it lucky. so, eventually, i would have this habit where whenever i was relatively isolated and sad, and if my hands were unoccupied, they would literally just fasten around my neck and try to strangle me. it was like i was doing it subconsciously. right now, i still have that habit. my haphephobia is worse than ever, cont.
User avatar #114794 to #114793 - benedicto (02/01/2014) [-]
and, it maybe nothing, but all my friends agree that i have something wrong with me, but they don't know what. also, this also may be nothing, but i seem to share a lot of traits in common with people with mental disorders.
there's too many things to list here, but i got a huge list of what may be symptoms. mind you, i really don't know
User avatar #114810 to #114794 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
First things first. It's "I hope you have a nice seat..." the word got is a word you try to avoid. I'm not going to comment on the "gonna" or lazy errors like that.
Another thing is "go ahead TOO" not to.
"I acted happy" is another one... Just work on it.

As for your issues, I don't really like being touched either, but I can still have fun in my life without it. Find those activities and put energy into those.

User avatar #114832 to #114810 - benedicto (02/02/2014) [-]
well, okay then. thanks.
User avatar #114795 to #114794 - benedicto (02/01/2014) [-]
well shit, guess i can't undo it now.

fuck.
User avatar #114787 - thisisestonia (02/01/2014) [-]
Each time I open up firefox on this computer it gives me a resetted layout, there's a most visited tab on my bookmarks line, new tab opens up the page with the grid and certain plugins don't work

inb4 "get a chrome" I like firefox and I dislike chrome, deal with it
#114786 - animeboardanon (02/01/2014) [-]
How can I get senpai to notice me if I'm so flat and he likes them big...
User avatar #114842 to #114786 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Most guys notice girls who are trying to kill them. I don't know if that helps.
User avatar #114790 to #114786 - derpityhurr (02/01/2014) [-]
squats
User avatar #114785 - tentaquil (02/01/2014) [-]
turgle turgle
#114772 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
~Relationship Advice~
Hi guys, recently I've been thinking quite a lot about what I want from a relationship, but I don't know how to approach girls and I've had confidence issues pretty much my whole life (Currently weighing in at around 280). I've attached a picture of myself, mind giving me a rating? Also what are some tips on getting girls to go spend some time letting me get to know them? I'm not looking for a quick sex friend, I want someone I can connect with.
TLRD: I'm not good at talking to women and I'm 17 - Never had a relationship
User avatar #114843 to #114772 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
If there's someone who shares similar hobbies or likes similar things that you do, then talk to them about it. Whenever I feel a little low on confidence in talking to a girl, I tell myself "Life's short. It's not like she'll kill you." Usually a little humor boosts my confidence a little bit.

I also tend to live my life as if I'm watching it. If something embarrassing happens to me or if I'm in an embarrassing situation, I laugh like I would if I was watching a movie, not because I'm forcing myself to, but because I genuinely find it funny. That's just my take on it.
#114806 to #114772 - wienersack (02/01/2014) [-]
As far as weight goes, you shouldn't have much to worry about. Men aren't supposed to care about their figure like women do. If a woman feels that they are even a pound overweight, they flip the fuck out. Men, on the other hand, aren't supposed to give a shit. Remember: the rule is "No Fat Chicks". There's also the rule that Family Guy gave us (see attached photo). Also, if it makes you feel any better, I'm 18, and I've never had a relationship, so I know what it feels like. I hope this builds your confidence at least a little.
User avatar #114779 to #114772 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
Confidence, that is all you need.
Your body is of no consequence.
#114780 to #114779 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
I don't really understand your comment, mind explaining it to me?
User avatar #114781 to #114780 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
Women do not look for a meek man nor do they expect to be the one to initiate contact.
Not every woman wants an iron man, there are plenty that would be happy with your current figure.
If you want to find a woman interested in you then you must be the one to go out there and talk to them, nothing is more appealing than someone with confidence.
#114782 to #114781 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
Easier said than done.
User avatar #114783 to #114782 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
Everything is easier in theory when compared to practice.
However, YOU are the only being in your life capable of solving this problem, nothing worthwhile is ever gained without facing hurdles.
I can offer you advice, but you must choose to take it.
User avatar #114773 to #114772 - awesomerninjathing (02/01/2014) [-]
lose weight, dress better
#114775 to #114773 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
Loseing weight, thats obvious. Also I'm poor so my mother can never afford clothes and I'm trying to be excellent in highschool so I can;t juggle that and a job, or maybe I can.
#114777 to #114775 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
Anyone on here who workouts or has been successful with dropping from an unhealthy weight like mine who has tips or information on making the battle easier? I'm seriously drawing a blanks from all corners of my life man, I feel myself getting more and more depressed each day.
User avatar #114791 to #114777 - derpityhurr (02/01/2014) [-]
Start with a daily walk, go for as long as you're comfortable
Have music with you
I've lost maybe 10 pounds in December just taking walks/jogs every other day, its a good way to start
User avatar #114776 to #114775 - awesomerninjathing (02/01/2014) [-]
you can't do much without losing weight tbh
#114778 to #114776 - ilookatnsfwusing (02/01/2014) [-]
Yea you're right man, I just can't seem to know where to start. I feel overwhelmed and so much pressure from everything and I feel anxious constantly. I want to get out and be thinner and living a life but its hard without motivation, and I wouldn't know the first thing to tackle a weight problem, I don't know what to do.
#114812 to #114778 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
If youre trying to lose weight dont ever starve yourself that lowers metabolism. Eat healthy and often. Dont look at the scale just consistently excersize and eat good foods.
User avatar #114784 to #114778 - thebestpieever (02/01/2014) [-]
Honestly? Put yourself on a fruit and meal timer.
Every 3 hours without fail you're either eating a fruit or a meal (that contains vegetables).
That not only does marvels for your health, but it fastens your metabolism and since you're eating regularly and healthily you'll just naturally lose weight.
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