Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search
hide menu

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Highest Rated Newest
auto-refresh every 1 2 3 5 seconds


Per page:
Order:
Latest users (5): dipples, fistfireace, temporarily, tentaquil, xXThatxOnexGuyXx, anonymous(18).
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
User avatar #114911 - huntergriff ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
so, i've been watching netflix for...at least 9 hours on my xbox, you think it'd be safe to play fable 2 or something?
User avatar #114914 to #114911 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
nah. purely because the game sucks
User avatar #114915 to #114914 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
in my opinion
User avatar #114916 to #114915 - huntergriff ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
Eh. fable 3's worse apparently. still, would I be still be able to dick around on some random game?
User avatar #114917 to #114916 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
fable 3 is a horrible piece of shit. maybe take a break for the sake of your eyes for say half an hour, then get back on a game
User avatar #114898 - ugottanked (02/02/2014) [-]
hey uh...i just had an emotional breakdown in my car thinking about my dad since my graduation is coming up soon (hes been dead two years to a pill overdose) and well..how can i prepare myself so i dont cry hard when i get up on stage and dont see him waving to me..hugging me and telling me how proud he is of me...
User avatar #114991 to #114898 - nsfwcontent (02/03/2014) [-]
If you really don't want to cry then try and numb your emotions whilst up there, just focus your mind on one thing and one thing only and keep thinking of it whatever it is.

There is no shame in crying, anyone would be longing for approval in a moment like that, just to know that you've done them proud. Even if it's just seeing them in the crowd for a few seconds and them just giving a quick nod of approval, just to keep you going, knowing that they are proud of you. That even though you can't see them you can feel them there, just feeling warm inside for a second from knowing you've done the person you care about so much proud.
User avatar #115026 to #114991 - ugottanked (02/03/2014) [-]
yeah...

i guess since there wont be any shame in it ill just let it happen then
User avatar #114925 to #114898 - lotengo ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
U can visualise your graduation a few times, trying to hold back the tears then. But the real deal with actuall people will be way harder.

I cant give u advice how NOT to cry, all i can say is there is no shame in it
User avatar #114901 to #114898 - wydell (02/02/2014) [-]
I would say just let it happen, if anything just say it's tears of joy. Sorry to hear about your loss
#114897 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
Urgent! What to tell a women when she s too drunk to go home by herself but intends to do it anyway. Problem is we are all drunk as fuck. She's some kind of cowgirl or something wants to drink more but we cit her off. Believe me that autocorrect is making me type this easy. We are in bad shape and she won't listens to reason.
User avatar #114900 to #114897 - makotoitou (02/02/2014) [-]
let her drink, she passes out.
#114906 to #114900 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
Now I have to deal with this shit
User avatar #114907 to #114906 - makotoitou (02/02/2014) [-]
You rather she try to go home?
#114904 to #114900 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
Jackass
User avatar #114905 to #114904 - makotoitou (02/02/2014) [-]
At least she ain't going anywhere.
#114903 to #114900 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
Took the advize . Now she's a crying mess
User avatar #115045 to #114903 - ljxjlos ONLINE (02/03/2014) [-]
...and that´s when you know the party was a success.
#114892 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
So I'm submitting a quote for grad. I was planning on using this "I choose to live, not just exist" James Hetfield. Should i include his name or just the quote?
User avatar #114896 to #114892 - thebestpieever (02/02/2014) [-]
I wouldn't include anything Metallica.
User avatar #114894 to #114892 - funnyjunkianonetwo (02/02/2014) [-]
Personally I would include the person as well.
User avatar #114893 to #114892 - awesomerninjathing (02/02/2014) [-]
you should put "Thank you Based God" instead
#114885 - kegget (02/02/2014) [-]
Can anyone point me in the right direction of finding a good 7 of 9 costume?
Or how much it would cost to get one made

Jeri Ryan is your reward
User avatar #114926 to #114885 - lotengo ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
why havent i jacked off to this yet?
User avatar #114874 - advicedude (02/02/2014) [-]
SERIOUSLY WATCH THIS.

Most of this is directed towards guys but applies to anyone at some The Right Way And The Wrong Way To Do Things point.
User avatar #114920 to #114874 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/02/2014) [-]
WARNING: This video might put you in a bad mood after this. I watched half of it, and at first the guy was talking about making right choices and I'm thinking to myself "well, I don't make many wrong choices but it's still an interesting speech." BUT THEN it turns into "here is why you aren't getting laid." And it just gets narrower and narrower and the more I watched it the more I was pissed off about the video.

So if you are the foreveralone.jpg type of person, this could either be an eye opener or just another video that will CRUSH your self esteem.
User avatar #114994 to #114920 - advicedude (02/03/2014) [-]
The group is directed towards single men as a motivational speaker. It has some good life lessons though.
#115115 to #114994 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/03/2014) [-]
MFW all he talks about is this fucking "great" journey on how to get skanky whores from clubs...
User avatar #115122 to #115115 - advicedude (02/04/2014) [-]
>judges women in clubs
>uses Halo reaction image
User avatar #115144 to #115122 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/04/2014) [-]
Lets face it though, what this guy is saying only applies to guys who have decent looks. There is a line you have to be across on the attractiveness scale in order to stand a chance in clubs. You only are giving these people false hope.
User avatar #115145 to #115144 - advicedude (02/04/2014) [-]
I posted the video for the life lessons regarding self improvement, confidence, and will power.
User avatar #115146 to #115145 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/04/2014) [-]
But most of it is bullshit. It's like a hipsters way of saying "if you try hard at something, eventually you will succeed." People like this basically preach to the choir.
User avatar #115148 to #115146 - advicedude (02/04/2014) [-]
Well It's not that simple. He goes in depth.
User avatar #115149 to #115148 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/04/2014) [-]
The "depth" is really gibberish. Like him saying "I fucked this girl. THEN I FUCKED THIS EVEN HOTTER GIRL. Then .. guys... I fucked the best girl ever." I find his story hard to believe.
User avatar #115150 to #115149 - advicedude (02/04/2014) [-]
Take what you want. To me it wasn't about the girls, just a personal journey.
User avatar #115151 to #115150 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/04/2014) [-]
Hence my "Great Journey" reference...
User avatar #115152 to #115151 - advicedude (02/04/2014) [-]
not the journey of picking up girls, the growth as a human.
User avatar #115142 to #115122 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/04/2014) [-]
I thought it was funny...
User avatar #114880 to #114874 - ferrettamer (02/02/2014) [-]
>46 minutes
No thanks, that could be time spent masturbating or taking my shirt off in Tinychat
User avatar #114881 to #114880 - advicedude (02/02/2014) [-]
Just take the time, its really awesome.
User avatar #114884 to #114881 - ferrettamer (02/02/2014) [-]
K. Maybe tomorrow. It's late, kinda
User avatar #114873 - nigalthornberry (02/02/2014) [-]
What does Bl mean during texting
Like this is what I got
Lol u did good !Bl
User avatar #114921 to #114873 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/02/2014) [-]
According to Urban Dictionary: Boy's Love
User avatar #114941 to #114921 - nigalthornberry (02/02/2014) [-]
Makes a little sense now
User avatar #114942 to #114941 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/02/2014) [-]
Really? I don't really get it.
User avatar #114943 to #114942 - nigalthornberry (02/02/2014) [-]
Well she said something about her butt before and put Bl after it so that way makes sense
but we were talking about her favorite stuff and i got it all right and thats what she said back so it doesn't make the most sense
User avatar #114944 to #114943 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/02/2014) [-]
She sounds retarded. I hope you don't plan on mating with this degenerate.
User avatar #114877 to #114873 - advicedude (02/02/2014) [-]
ask about it.
User avatar #114879 to #114877 - nigalthornberry (02/02/2014) [-]
Little bit late since shes not on her phone anymore don't know what happened but I'll try to bring it up with her soon
User avatar #114883 to #114879 - advicedude (02/02/2014) [-]
dont take it personnaly
#114875 to #114873 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
bitch
bye
bisexual
B-list nigger
User avatar #114878 to #114875 - nigalthornberry (02/02/2014) [-]
Its an L not an i
#114882 to #114878 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
B-list nigger
Black Large ass
Bitch lagg
Bat logo
Big limdimshooblyeifyouknowwhatimeanlol
Balloon larger ohno
#114870 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
I have this as a start of a song. What other things can I add to finish the verse?

I'm a man of strong convictions,
Not prone to tales, the dreary fiction
User avatar #114886 to #114870 - awesomerninjathing (02/02/2014) [-]
Pulp Crucifixion, OJ Simpson
Stories bout wife beaters, white shirts
Black men, grey men, 50 stories bout fucking flirts
Follow a trail of breadcrumbs, twirl their thumbs and make em squirt
Nah man, this ain't no best seller, this an underground anecdote
Rolled a tino bit of that green antidote
6 feet deep, buried her and tore up the car note
Proud of my honey bunny, my little Mary
She a strain on my crane, I am a victim to Mrs. Jane
She look like a bitch and smell like a dane but I can't abstain
Got me writing my own stories, wracking my brain, popping my cerebral vein

I kinda had a theme going on through this. Crucifixion = fiction, OJ Simpson = conviction, wifebeaters/white shirts = KKK, 50 shades of grey, trail of breadcrumbs = Hansel & Gretel, tino isn't a misspelling it's just supposed to sound like Tiny and sound like Tarantino lol, green antidote = buried her under the tobacco whatever, Mary & Mrs Jane = mary jane/marijuana, strain = synonym for weed and stressing his brain, smell like a dane = dank smell of weed, my honey bunny is a quote from Pulp Fiction

Made me write all this, you better use it lol
User avatar #114887 to #114886 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
Your verse was shit
User avatar #114888 to #114887 - awesomerninjathing (02/02/2014) [-]
fuck you matteo

how so
User avatar #114889 to #114888 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
you wrote it
User avatar #114890 to #114889 - awesomerninjathing (02/02/2014) [-]
shut up matteo
User avatar #114891 to #114890 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
sorry theo-kun
#114872 to #114870 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
what is pulp fiction?
only faggots shit polymerization
#114869 - anonymous (02/02/2014) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=dgGkPrN61rw#t=7

How do I dance like this? Are there any tutorial videos or anything by chance?
User avatar #114866 - wienersack (02/02/2014) [-]
Hey, guys, guess what? My depression is getting worse. I'm thinking more and more about drinking the bleach in my basement. I'm not even kidding. I even looked up how much bleach one has to drink to die. I need help, and I need it now.
#115094 to #114866 - anonymous (02/03/2014) [-]
Don't go anywhere.
User avatar #114992 to #114866 - nsfwcontent (02/03/2014) [-]
Look at how far you've come in your life.
There have been hard bits haven't there? But there have also been the good bits, the moments when you think to yourself, this is what I love, this is what it means to be alive. And maybe not soon but one day you will find something or someone that makes you feel like this is where you belong, this is your purpose in life, where you fit in. And after everything you went through to get there, you'll appreciate it so much more than someone who's had it easy because you'll know that you've suffered more than anyone else has to get here, to where you belong, your little piece of paradise.
User avatar #114939 to #114866 - thebigpenguin (02/02/2014) [-]
"Everybody is somebodies everything"

Don't do it
User avatar #114871 to #114866 - thechosenseven (02/02/2014) [-]
Your family, your friends, any dependents you have, hell, even the people you pay money too on a regular basis, everyone here on funnyjunk, we all care about you. So don't you fucking do it. Seek medical help, the advice of a loved one or just a friendly chat with a random dude because no matter how small you think you are, you matter to someone.
User avatar #114868 to #114866 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
K fuck nigga message me or something
User avatar #114859 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
so i coach jr ski racing, and one of the coaches is my age and pretty cute. i make small talk with her and joke around a little bit. i tried to get a chance to ask her to coffee but could get the right opportunity. i wont be at the next race and that race is the last one this season. should i message her on facebook? im 20 btw
#114861 to #114859 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
No just be patient
User avatar #114862 to #114861 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
i might not see her till next year.
#114863 to #114862 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
then you weigh the risk of asking her over facebook vs getting a better chance next year.
Its easier for you to judge in real life whether they would accept or not
User avatar #114864 to #114863 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
should i get her # and call her?
#114865 to #114864 - gym (02/02/2014) [-]
again I cant judge if the method of contact would be a turn off by itself because i dont know you or her
User avatar #114867 to #114865 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
yeah i should prolly just sthap tinking wiht ma dick....
#114848 - kosmic (02/02/2014) [-]
hey newfag with PCs here.  does anyone know how to disable secure boot on a newer asus mother board?  Shit wont let me boot up my OS on my new build
hey newfag with PCs here. does anyone know how to disable secure boot on a newer asus mother board? Shit wont let me boot up my OS on my new build
User avatar #114849 to #114848 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
ask games board
User avatar #114850 to #114849 - kosmic (02/02/2014) [-]
But I want answers not bullshit
User avatar #114851 to #114850 - teoberry (02/02/2014) [-]
they fap to building pcs over there so I think you'll get an answer
User avatar #114852 to #114851 - kosmic (02/02/2014) [-]
ohhhhkay
#114846 - jbabco (02/02/2014) [-]
Does anyone know who this is?
Does anyone know who this is?
User avatar #114902 to #114846 - wydell (02/02/2014) [-]
The next Mrs. Wydell
User avatar #114847 to #114846 - misticalz ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
From this movie
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Top_Secret!
Look through the cast I guess sorry
User avatar #114845 - comandante ONLINE (02/02/2014) [-]
alright guys, here is my gripe. I like this girl. She says i am like her brother, that her true love is not in America (she is chinese) but she mentions it alot: she knows i like her (i think) so she knows it rustles my jimmies, so i guess she like messing with me. I finally got my flirting skills down, i always tease her lightly, we are together since we got math and physics together, and she laughs a lot with me. Thing is, she is really hard to talk to when things get serious. Don't know whether to go for it and it goes well, or she never knew and i fuck our relationship up.
User avatar #114835 - stealthnull (02/02/2014) [-]
me and my girlfriend broke up..and i am just...nothing. I'm not sad or happy or even indifferent about it. I feel fucking nothing....does any one know a way i can get back to my normal self?
User avatar #114860 to #114835 - chittywok **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
get yourself nice and drunk, do a line of blow off a stripper's ass, then fuck said stripper. take pics to prove it.
User avatar #114838 to #114835 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Right nor it IS your normal self. It's normal to feel that numbness. It's your mind trying to adjust to this sudden change in your life. Who broke it up, or was it mutual?
User avatar #114895 to #114838 - stealthnull (02/02/2014) [-]
It was pretty mutual
User avatar #114933 to #114895 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Just let yourself feel this way. No need to rush things. Your mind will get back on its feet after a bit.
User avatar #114937 to #114933 - stealthnull (02/02/2014) [-]
I'l give it a shot. thanks for the help
User avatar #114834 - thehardcorechimp (02/02/2014) [-]
Doing a PSA for college, any ideas?
User avatar #114837 to #114834 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
The dangers of doing what other people tell you is right for your life
#114836 to #114834 - tiredofannon (02/02/2014) [-]
The danger of beer goggles.
User avatar #114831 - weebee (02/01/2014) [-]
Sometimes at random times, I really hate this one guy

He did something to me a long time ago that made me kinda question myself not gay or anything related

I really try to conceal this feeling but it always comes back

Suggestions?
User avatar #115206 to #114831 - garin (02/04/2014) [-]
It won't go away, just bide your time until you are no longer in constant contact with him then the feelings will fade.
User avatar #114839 to #114831 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
What did he do?
User avatar #114833 to #114831 - steedawwg **User deleted account** (02/02/2014) [-]
kill him
User avatar #114829 - wox (02/01/2014) [-]
I need some advice.
I am trying to stop talking to this girl whom I have talked to every day for over three years.
It is really difficult for me to resist the temptation of texting her. Help?
User avatar #114840 to #114829 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
What happened?
User avatar #114912 to #114840 - wox (02/02/2014) [-]
We just really need to stop talking to each other.
It has been 22 hours now.
User avatar #114932 to #114912 - ScottP (02/02/2014) [-]
Strange reason, but okay. Try talking to other friends in the meantime. Whenever you notice yourself wanting to text the girl, try to snap yourself out of it.
User avatar #114830 to #114829 - pickedforprofanity **User deleted account** (02/01/2014) [-]
why?
User avatar #114913 to #114830 - wox (02/02/2014) [-]
We are not doing each other any good.
User avatar #114815 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Sup guys,

wanna watch some cool stuff on youtube, stuff like the slo mo guys and that guy that puts shit in shotgun shells and fires em, something interesting
User avatar #114821 to #114815 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
I watch youtube poop a lot. That stuff is pretty funny if you are familiar with the Wand of Gamelon and Hotel Mario.
User avatar #114822 to #114821 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Nope. Care to explain if possible?
User avatar #114823 to #114822 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
You can watch ventrilo harassment actually. Those are pretty funny.
Ventertainment - Nerd Confusion 3: The Ring

Just imagine a bunch of World of Warcraft players on ventrilo.
User avatar #114824 to #114823 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Okie dokie. Thanks!
User avatar #114825 to #114824 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
Ventrilo Harassment - Luigi

I went from this ventrilo to discover youtube poop.
User avatar #114826 to #114825 - mattyjay (02/01/2014) [-]
Well right now I don't have time to watch them, but I will do soon, thanks again.
User avatar #114827 to #114826 - hawaiianhappysauce (02/01/2014) [-]
Ventrilo Harassment - Baltimore Orioles another really good one.
#114811 - anonymous (02/01/2014) [-]
tinychat.com/f jdirect come hang out
#114816 to #114813 - alphajunk (02/01/2014) [-]
<the only person who thumbed down.
 Friends (0)