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#146139 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Hi guys me and this girl want to have sex but we have no condoms or birth control and are afraid that pulling out isn't safe enough. I would also like to know how exactly precum works. is there a feeling like right before you orgasm or is it just unexpected. Thanks.
User avatar #146294 to #146139 - solareyes (17 hours ago) [-]
I'm sorry. You're stupid for thinking withdrawal is effective at all. Get a goddamn condom.
#146197 to #146139 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
wait you never had an orgasm? Did you seriously never masturbate?
#146189 to #146139 - subsitutexplain (07/22/2014) [-]
Precum still contains sperm, and can still impregnate people.
Wrap your willy, my brother!

-Subsitutexplain
#146186 to #146139 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Dude you can buy condoms literally everywhere. It's not magic, just buy some seriously.
User avatar #146159 to #146139 - misticalz (07/22/2014) [-]
dont
just go get condoms brother
pulling out is never a good idea
pharmacists would probably be happy to see teenagers buying condoms
#146151 to #146139 - dehumanizer (07/22/2014) [-]
I want to see you die.
#146182 to #146151 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #146150 to #146139 - larsfillmore (07/22/2014) [-]
Rub out that easy one before, you should be good
User avatar #146147 to #146139 - thisistheguy (07/22/2014) [-]
Precum is cum wear your jimmies go out and buy some
User avatar #146143 to #146139 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
dun do it man, she could clamp your shit
#146137 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
I have a weird sort of fantasy. One in which where I get raped and get pregnant and keep the baby. I am not an attention whore otherwise, I just sort of feel like I would love the attention and the whole thing sort of turns me on. I sound fucking insane, has anyyone ever heard of any thing like that?
User avatar #146222 to #146137 - hoponthefeelstrain ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
uhh I know there's a condition where people always fake illnesses because they love the attention they get for it because sometime in their life someone got a serious illness and got a lot of attention while said person number 1 was ignored. Maybe something like that happened to you?
User avatar #146142 to #146137 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
gimme a picture and your location, i'll be there soon
User avatar #146140 to #146137 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
Everyone has fantasies. Doesn't mean you want it to happen as it may have consequences or something, just means in the moment, you might like it I guess.
#146138 to #146137 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I have heard that many women fantasyse about being raped. It doesn't make you a fucked up person, fantasys are just that, fantasys. Doesn't mean you would like it if it actually happened to you.
#146134 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
I have a habit of constantly licking my lip and they and they are always chapped. I use chap stick a lot but it only helps for a short time. Also my tongue has been slightly deformed from the constant licking.
User avatar #146295 to #146134 - solareyes (17 hours ago) [-]
I can help you for the chapped part, I never really liked chapstick. Use vaseline on your lips, it helps sooo much!
User avatar #146223 to #146134 - hoponthefeelstrain ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
okay so my great grandpa is a farmer and to break this habit he put chicken shit on our lips because who the fuck will lick their lips with chicken shit on them.

Just put a food you hate on your lips, like mash it into a paste or something and whenever you lick your lips you'll taste the food and soon stop doing it. If you don't like hot sauce that'd be something doable.
User avatar #146194 to #146134 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Break the habit.
Anytime you notice that you're licking your lip, then take a moment to realize what you are doing, and make a mental note to stop.

You could also try using certain things to prevent yourself from licking your lips.
Such as putting Wasabi powder on your chapstick. At worst, it'd give your food a little 'zing' to them; Nothing too bad. It'd be a really faint taste.
And at best, when you lick your lips, it'll burn like no tomorrow.
#146133 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
For some reason when I use my parents computer the Google search bar has a history of all the porn i search. No I did no search for porn on my parents computer (but I will admit I did on mine). How exactly does my web history get on my parents computer?
User avatar #146195 to #146133 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
If you're using the same Google account when searching, then it'll show your recent searches that way...
It is also entirely possible for it to sync related searches to your IP address pool, if there is an absence of a user logged in.

Just be sure to use Incognito mode from now on. Also, try clearing Cache.
User avatar #146136 to #146133 - christmouth (07/22/2014) [-]
Do you use Chrome?
User avatar #146122 - jokekill ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I grew up with the only woman in my household being my mother, all my friends have always been guys. I'm a straight woman, but a lot of people think i'm butch and i'm often mistaken for a lesbian. I'm pretty slim, i wear make-up but apparently its how i act. Girls find me threatening, men who aren't my friends find me weird because i don't react to being called "babe" or act girly and flirty or anything like that. This guy i know called me beautiful and i told him to stop acting like a fag. I'm disliked for being masculine(?) and i hate it. What do?
User avatar #146224 to #146122 - hoponthefeelstrain ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
guys are intimidated by masculine girls... same reason they don't usually go for girls taller or bigger than them. They just don't want to be the ones not wearing the pants in a relationship because their friends will call them "whipped" or "a bitch". I would say don't change yourself to make someone else happy, if they're uncomfortable around you that's their problem.
#146205 to #146122 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
You sound pretty awesome to me.   
Continue being yourself. Never change yourself for others.   
   
You don't have to be "girly" or "manly."   
Just be yourself.   
   
You'll only ever need one word to describe yourself, and that is You.   
   
Anyhow, if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about that. If people don't like who you are, then they don't like who you are. You shouldn't conform to fit in with their standards.   
Continue being 'you.'
You sound pretty awesome to me.
Continue being yourself. Never change yourself for others.

You don't have to be "girly" or "manly."
Just be yourself.

You'll only ever need one word to describe yourself, and that is You.

Anyhow, if I were you I wouldn't worry too much about that. If people don't like who you are, then they don't like who you are. You shouldn't conform to fit in with their standards.
Continue being 'you.'
User avatar #146214 to #146205 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
Chaika too cute.
User avatar #146144 to #146122 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
you seem cool, although u ain't gonna get a bf by rejecting everyone. Not saying you have to, but if you want to then gotta change that. Like, still be yourself but set your rules straight with them first.
User avatar #146161 to #146144 - jokekill ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I have a bf
User avatar #146162 to #146161 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
call him bro then
User avatar #146123 to #146122 - jokekill ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Also i get really awkward when people treat me like a typical girl, i straight-up reject any guys attempt to flirt or flatter me. It makes me come across as a bitch.
User avatar #146130 to #146123 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
Don't change yourself, you seem pretty cool and I'm sure you're not interested in changing yourself, ya? If you do change yourself and are liked for being the new you, will you really have fun and enjoy it? I think you should just keep being yourself and I'm sure you'll get a nice group of friends that don't mind you being you, ya know?
#146120 - karrikoto (07/22/2014) [-]
how can i delete my fj account?
User avatar #146252 to #146120 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (19 hours ago) [-]
Piss big brother admin off somehow.
User avatar #146239 to #146120 - gandaalf (22 hours ago) [-]
kill yourself
your account automatically deletes once you die
User avatar #146190 to #146120 - jelatinman (07/22/2014) [-]
Go out with a bang. Get ban-hammered, like I did before (I don't know why this account is still ok). Post something sexy for all of us.
#146141 to #146120 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
No, there is no escape.
#146124 to #146120 - fistfireace (07/22/2014) [-]
You don't. You stay here forever You can never escape.
#146101 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Met a girl at a party last Friday and we've chatted every day since, just usual sort of getting to know one another chats. I want to ask her to go hang out sometime, just not sure when's too soon. I know it's usually better to just be outright and confident about it, but just want to get your opinions.
User avatar #146206 to #146101 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Do it.
#146108 to #146101 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Just do it. Sometimes you should just do what feels right rather then what sounds logical.
#146100 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
What do you do when you have a lot to vent on someone but just can't straight up talk to them?
My family has been dysfunctional lately and my mother has been a complete bitch. Since our dad died 3-4 months ago she cried about it a lot and now she's just partying all night and hanging out with random guys. I just need a lot of stress off my back. I mean, what can I do? I'm only thirteen.
User avatar #146225 to #146100 - hoponthefeelstrain ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
sounds like your mom is having a midlife crisis, just try not to hate her so much and you can always talk to one of your favorite teachers or a school counselor. It's what they're there for.
User avatar #146209 to #146100 - colfer (07/22/2014) [-]
Wow, man, rough. If you're only thirteen, you should talk to an adult at school or other, someone you can rely on and open up to. You shouldn't go through that alone, it leaves marks man or girl . It feels amazing to let all that shit that's churning like led in your stomach out, don't bottle it up. Stay strong, you can do it.
#146096 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
There is no justification for life. Those who claim to find meaning in their lives are either dishonest or deluded. In either case, they fail to face up to the harsh reality of the human situation.
User avatar #146241 to #146096 - gandaalf (22 hours ago) [-]
you gotta do fun shit
that's what life was made for
do the most fun shit possible for you
all the time
#146191 to #146096 - subsitutexplain (07/22/2014) [-]
We exixst for unknown reasons. No amount of emo crap is going to prove any lack of reason or reason for us existing.
Simply, we don't know why we exist, we don't know if there's a reason, we don't know stuff.

-Subsitutexplain
User avatar #146145 to #146096 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
i have justification because i'm not an emofag posting facebook tier shit.
#146128 to #146096 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Comment Picture
#146102 to #146096 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
You never read anything I post as a response.   
Why?   
   
You're worse than Dehumanizer.
You never read anything I post as a response.
Why?

You're worse than Dehumanizer.
#146125 to #146102 - fistfireace (07/22/2014) [-]
There's somebody worse than dehumanizer?  That cannot be.
There's somebody worse than dehumanizer? That cannot be.
#146127 to #146126 - fistfireace (07/22/2014) [-]
At least you're well known around these parts. May not be in the good way, but it's something.
User avatar #146104 to #146102 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
There is no reason for life to have come into being. There is no reason that single-cell life-forms came into being. Evolution took care of the rest.

Furthermore, in order for life to have meaning, there has to be somebody to give it. Therefore, life is given meaning because life exists. Therefore, before there was no life, there was no meaning and thus when it was created there was no meaning, we gave it meaning, but it is a false meaning.

Nothing matters. At all. No matter what you do, no matter how many people you surround yourself with, no matter how famous or successful you become, no matter what you contribute to humanity, society or the human condition, it is utterly and completely pointless. Humanity will die, the sun will burn out, everything will be cast into oblivion and no matter what humanity or any other advanced race creates will be left in the infinity void. Nobody will see it, nobody will read it, nobody will experience it. The universe will not miss us, or any other race.
#146105 to #146104 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Wow, nice.   
   
You've still yet to read any of the responses I've posted, eh?   
   
Anyhow, has it ever occurred to you that this way of thinking is narrow minded?
Wow, nice.

You've still yet to read any of the responses I've posted, eh?

Anyhow, has it ever occurred to you that this way of thinking is narrow minded?
User avatar #146107 to #146105 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
I fucking owned you. Nice.
User avatar #146106 to #146105 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
My way of thinking is pretty open-minded.

If what I say is untrue, refute my previous post.
User avatar #146110 to #146106 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
TheWillow, you are anything but open-minded.
You are but a broken record, bound to repeat.

If you do not wish to sing your song, then don't.
Just don't continue playing on repeat here, though. Because you obviously don't want help.

I'm sorry for whatever may have broken you, although continuous posting online won't solve anything.

Again, if you actually want a different view on the topic you are contingent upon, go back and read my responses.
You may be "open-minded," but you are far from thinking like a realist. You must put yourself in others shoes. Understand what drives them to think such ways. Know why they do think such thoughts.
You have to take every aspect, every opinion, and every view into consideration before making a solid judgement. And TheWillow, you've done anything but that. You're only bound to repeat the same thing over and over again; This shows me that no, you are not open minded. There's far more views on life than what FunnyJunk's users have to offer.
User avatar #146113 to #146110 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
TL;DR: I can't refute your argument, and I make assumptions.
#146117 to #146113 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
You're right. You can't.

Anyhow, just go back and read my previous responses to your posts.
I'd link you to them all, but your profile is blocked and I have far too many comments to go digging through.
User avatar #146118 to #146117 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
>You're right. You can't.
You are resorting to this? Lol.

I have, and #146104 refutes all points made against me in the past.
User avatar #146119 to #146118 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Haha, well thanks for the laugh for today anyways.
I gotta go to work now.
#146121 to #146119 - thewillow (07/22/2014) [-]
And the dog runs away with his tail tucked between his legs. The end.
User avatar #146098 to #146096 - ashirt (07/22/2014) [-]
I agree. Some people find the need to have a "purpose in life", I feel that we should just accept the fact that we are here for no greater reason than to experience life itself.
#146091 - Orc (07/22/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** I have to sign up for college classes. The list that I'm having issues with is:

Art Appreciation
Art History I
Introductory French I
Introductory German I
Music Appreciation
Introductory Spanish I
Theatre Appreciation

I took off the classes that I've already done or are no goes. I really wanted to learn German, but, after looking into it a little bit, it looks really hard. Is it? If it is, which class sounds the best.
User avatar #146207 to #146091 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
German will be hard if it's done online.
Also, for learning languages, you need to submerse yourself in it.

Watch kid shows like TroTro, Kikaninchen, etc.
Go onto www.duolingo.com/ and practice every day.

And most importantly, try to take only one language class at a time.
User avatar #146094 to #146091 - repugnantpug ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
You'd be surprised how similar German is to english. In Germany, most of them (from what I saw when I was there) speak English, and our languages are surprisingly comparable. Perhaps only Spanish would be easier, though that language was (I think I remember hearing) designed to be very easily taken up by people speaking a european language.

I'd give it a go if you're really interested, and especially so if you're quite gifted at different tongues.
#146095 to #146094 - Orc (07/22/2014) [-]
**Orc rolled image** How are they similar?
User avatar #146097 to #146095 - repugnantpug ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I can't think of any examples off the top of my head, but the words sound surprisingly similar in a number of instances, like they are from one another. I imagine its something to do with Anglo-Saxons, Vikings, etc travelling and their language going with.

Do a quick search, you may be surprised.
User avatar #146092 to #146091 - Orc (07/22/2014) [-]
?*
User avatar #146087 - kibbleking (07/22/2014) [-]
I haven't fapped in three days what do
#146192 to #146087 - subsitutexplain (07/22/2014) [-]
It depends.
Either masturbate or not.
Are you trynig to save up? If so, don't masturbate.

-Subsitutexplain
#146132 to #146087 - confusedasian (07/22/2014) [-]
Last time I masturbated was the 15 of July.
#146089 to #146087 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
fap
User avatar #146086 - indulge (07/22/2014) [-]
Can't decide if telling a girl I think about her all the time is creepy or it would be flattering. I'm leaning towards creepy, but I would like some other opinions.
Male and female opinions would be swell.
User avatar #146208 to #146086 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Never ever ever go up to her and say that.
That needs to be a follow up to a greater conversation. A conversation that isn't ready yet.

Make sure she likes you back, see if you can hang out with her more, get to know her, etc.
See if you can ask her out on a date further down the line. Then when you both get comfortable just tell her you like if, if she says she likes you too, then it'd be appropriate to state how much she is on your mind.
#146109 to #146086 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
How about just asking her out first? You could also tell her about your feelings without beeing creepy you know.
User avatar #146090 to #146086 - fistfireace (07/22/2014) [-]
The only way it'd be flattering is if she likes/have a crush on you or, rarely, if she likes creepy stuff . If not, then it would be creepy; so, in other words, don't tell her, unless you know for a fact that she likes you.
#146084 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
So, I have this girlfriend, we've been together for around half a year now. All our conversations are boring, same shit, we don't like the same stuff, it's hard for us to do anything together, and basically all we do is watch movies and part ways once a week. Shit's mad boring. She's close to my mom (Works with her) which makes it hard to just break up, but I don't know how long I can stand this. She's super emotionally dependent on me. What do
User avatar #146131 to #146084 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
Meet her half way. Get her into something you like and you get into something she likes. Try new things together, get her to do more things and you do more things as well. Shouldn't be too hard and if it is, just tell her you have nothing in common and you might even get a mutual break up or she'll try more. Just talk to her about it, ya know?
#146079 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Hey guys, gonna be straight up with you guys. I'm 18. My older brother is 24 or some shit. I have a younger sister, 16.
Long story short, my little sister spent the night at my older brothers house(to hang out with his girl friend and their baby daughter)and he spiked her drink, and raped her. Her own fucking brother. The shitty part is she didn't report it right away. It happened in february, and she didn't tell us until april.
Regardless, we called the police, got in touch with detectives and investigators. Basically they said their wasn't much they can do, but they turned it over to the D.A. and said it's up to them now really. I hate to say it, but I'm afraid they wont do much, if anything at all and let him free. Was able to get his address a while ago, now I'm debating on weather or not I should go to his house and jump him, or if I should wait until he leaves and shoot him. What do you guys think? Or any other advice of what to do.

Pic related:It's the sister raping faggot.
User avatar #146210 to #146079 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Have your family to sue him.
Also, everything ThatNigger, Minutes, and Makotoitou said.

At the very worst, if somehow everything falls through:
Post it on 4chan.
That should be an absolute last resort. Facebook should be your first resort for online attention.
User avatar #146146 to #146079 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
neither. if you do this your brother has can have the DA up your ass for violence, and while his action would get noticed you'd also be send to soap drop land.
#146112 to #146079 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
There are many ways for revenge and violence is just the easiest and probably most useless one. Making his life a living hell would be a lot better. If you know the first few things about politics and media then you know that you just have to play your cards right to destroy someones life with no proof at all. If you can get the story big over social network sites for example and get everyone to have sympathy with her, then blame the "fucked-up-law-system" you could start a big discussion thing on the news and everywhere else. Everyone would know what he did, he wouldn't get a job anywhere, if you get his current work place involved he will surely get fired as well cause they don't want their customers to leave, his friends would probably abadon him and he would have a really hard time finding new ones.

TL;DR: Make the story huge in media - fuck up his life
User avatar #146081 to #146079 - EdwardNigma ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Jesus fucking Christ what a cunt.
Do what thatnigger (hue) said, see if you can't get a confession, because as much as he deserves to be stabbed in the dick, that'll land you in jail most likely. But, you ever hear of stories about pedophiles getting murdered in prison for being pedophiles?
Might be you get evidence and he lands in jail.
Might be you visit him.
Might be you have a little chat with another inmate about what he did.
That sure would be a pickle for him.
User avatar #146080 to #146079 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
If you get violent, the police can charge you as well or you could get sued... If you like call him or go to him and record what he says and get a confession out of him though, I think that counts as evidence but I have no idea if he'd talk about it. I guess you can talk with your sister as well, she might even be traumatized, so make sure she's alright first before you do anything.
Hope things go your way dude, really sorry to hear this. :c
#146085 to #146080 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
I know the consquences

and he confessed it to his dyker gf
User avatar #146129 to #146085 - thatnigger (07/22/2014) [-]
You need recorded evidence because his girlfriend confessing what he did won't mean anything as well. You need to get the evidence yourself or I guess do what minutes says.
As for consquences, I'm sure your sister doesn't want you going to jail for something your brother did, that'd only hurt her more. Think of her first, ya know?
#146076 - pikapoopie (07/22/2014) [-]
alright so im gay and in love with my best friend (hes a straight man) he already knows im gay and occasionally get kinda feely and really close to him so he might already know but can someone tell me how to tell him I love him without making it weird between us.
User avatar #146212 to #146076 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
That's tough, man.
Depends on how flirty you get with him, and how much he'll allow for.
Also depends if he thinks you're joking or not.

If he's fully okay with you physically flirting with him, then it might be okay to express your feelings for him. Tell him you like him.

If he rejects and physical flirting and seems disgusted at any 'gay things' that you do, then it probably wouldn't be best to tell him.

Either way, the decision is up to you.
#146078 to #146076 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Honestly? Don't tell him. More than likely, shit's gonna be weird.
#146072 - applescryatnight (07/22/2014) [-]
so a pretty girl i know told me she was a girl gamer cause she had all the eeveelutions and i called her a filthy casual.
did i fuck up?
User avatar #146074 to #146072 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
you did good
#146073 to #146072 - applescryatnight (07/22/2014) [-]
i went on to talk about how nerdy i am, and how ive spent at least 4000 hours and stuff.
she was like "oh yeah? i spent 4000 and 1 hours!"
so i told her "prove it >:C"
and she sent me a reaction picture of a guy sweating while at a computer.
and then i sent her a picture of all the time i spent on my steam games, which totaled to about 2000 hours and i told her how i had twice as many games not on steam.

she has yet to reply.
User avatar #146082 to #146073 - lillpip ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
She's trying to impress you, you ass.

Don't just try to outdue her over and over, it's not a competition, she wants dick.
#146059 - ipostcp (07/22/2014) [-]
Wow, I've never had a group of big brother admins so unprofessional.

We ahve our base in day z surrounded by 10 people and an big brother admin shows up for lulz and starts shooting them with god mode on. Which is fine for us. Then what he does is goes "Let there be peace" and opens our doors and we get flooded and people which wouldn't of happened. We lose our base all our shit gets stolen.

I complain and say that the mod should get removed for abuse with his powers via god mode and opening all our shit and letting them all come inside. But nawh, I'm being disrespectful and get banned for a week apperently for accusing a mod for such a thing. Because admin's minions WOULD NEVER DO THAT!

I'm really pissed off.
#146063 to #146059 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
There will always be the power-abuser.   
Try StandAlone?
There will always be the power-abuser.
Try StandAlone?
User avatar #146065 to #146063 - ipostcp (07/22/2014) [-]
Oh, I realized this is advice. I mean't this for vidya games.
User avatar #146064 to #146063 - ipostcp (07/22/2014) [-]
Stand alone has about as much stuff as an Ethiopian on thanks giving.
User avatar #146051 - awesomerninjathing (07/21/2014) [-]
I might bang a chick later this summer, but how do I do that in a non-party situation where no one is drunk if I've never done it before?
#146116 to #146051 - minutes ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I can't speak from experience sadly but it usually goes like this:

1. Meet girl somewhere somehow
2. Talk/flirt
3. get her number
4. Continue flirting/talking about texting a bit
5. Ask her out
6. Meet up, most of the time in public
7. Make move on her, kiss her
8. meet again, kiss more
9. meet again in private place like for watching a movie at your home
10. Make out intensly
11. touch her in an intimate way
12. do the secks

Again I haven't experienced this myself but this is what everyone is saying how it goes. I am having problems with step 1.
User avatar #146075 to #146051 - averagewhitekid (07/22/2014) [-]
you have to look her deep in the eyes
I am talking like gazing into her fucking soul
look straight through her entire life's story in those fucking eyes
then you need to lean in close to her and whisper
"ay gurl let me get the pussy"
and uh, thats about it
this method has worked 100% of the time for me
if it doesn't work for you then you might need to get a bigger dick, take some pills that you can buy off a shady internet porn site
User avatar #146071 to #146051 - teoberry (07/22/2014) [-]
srs if it's your first time make sure you've got a condom and pull out anyways just to be safe
User avatar #146070 to #146051 - teoberry (07/22/2014) [-]
there's almost always alcohol involved, i or no one else i know gets very far without some type of alcohol. if she just wants the d i'm sure you can skip straight to it

>tfw i haven't completed this list yet
make out with her
start grabbing ass n shit
start fingering ;-;
remove clothing
????

be sure to use protection senpai
User avatar #146077 to #146070 - awesomerninjathing (07/22/2014) [-]
nah it's most likely not happening now since she's being a bitch with that message
User avatar #146068 to #146051 - awesomerninjathing (07/22/2014) [-]
teoberry

"Well uh you have glasses and all and you're not really my type... I just like your dick"

I lol'd hahahaha
User avatar #146069 to #146068 - teoberry (07/22/2014) [-]
top kek.
User avatar #146066 to #146051 - makotoitou (07/22/2014) [-]
throw a dildo
User avatar #146062 to #146051 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
Get to know her a bit more.
Take her out.
Flirt with her.
Flirt some moar.
Put some moves on her?

It's a gradual process, really.
User avatar #146052 to #146051 - georgesmoustache (07/22/2014) [-]
fucking kek, if you are moderately attractive it will come easy
User avatar #146060 to #146052 - awesomerninjathing (07/22/2014) [-]
george you fucking kike don't talk to me that way
did you even read my post

not at a party, not drunk, what do
User avatar #146229 to #146060 - georgesmoustache (07/22/2014) [-]
Yeah, if girls want sex they will give it. As long as you're alright looking.
#146050 - hackcroissant (07/21/2014) [-]
My cat which everyone loved,went missing while ago the other day we found him while shooting gophers he had been shot by the people who live next to us it wasn't us who got him his body has Ben dead for awhile anyways I'm pissed they have a bunch of birds and I'd like to get pay back a kinda
Fuck you for killing porkchop any advice?
#146057 to #146050 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
I'm sorry to hear that.   
   
It truly may have been an accident.   
What if you had accidentally show someone's dog? Would you own up to it?   
Not many people have the courage and morality to do so.   
   
Only once have I met someone who was nice enough to come clean immediately. We were in class, he walked by my laptop and accidentally snapped my flash-drive in half. (It was hanging out off the table; My fault, really.)   
He came up to me and told me what happened, explained he was sorry for it. I was in shock because, if that were me, I would have noped the hell out of the situation and played it off like someone else did it.   
   
It sucks when you do something wrong on accident.   
The hard part is coming clean about it. You never know how they'll react. So say if you were in a situation where you had accidentally shot and killed someone's dog, would you honestly thing they'd be nice that you came clean? Probably not.   
   
Go over and talk to them about it. See if it was an accident. If it wasn't, call the cops. If they're rude about it and deny it, call the cops.   
If they can't come clean when you're handing the olive branch to them, then they'll surely come clean when they have a lawsuit before them.   
Don't stoop to their level and kill off all their birds; You'd face worse than they would in court.
I'm sorry to hear that.

It truly may have been an accident.
What if you had accidentally show someone's dog? Would you own up to it?
Not many people have the courage and morality to do so.

Only once have I met someone who was nice enough to come clean immediately. We were in class, he walked by my laptop and accidentally snapped my flash-drive in half. (It was hanging out off the table; My fault, really.)
He came up to me and told me what happened, explained he was sorry for it. I was in shock because, if that were me, I would have noped the hell out of the situation and played it off like someone else did it.

It sucks when you do something wrong on accident.
The hard part is coming clean about it. You never know how they'll react. So say if you were in a situation where you had accidentally shot and killed someone's dog, would you honestly thing they'd be nice that you came clean? Probably not.

Go over and talk to them about it. See if it was an accident. If it wasn't, call the cops. If they're rude about it and deny it, call the cops.
If they can't come clean when you're handing the olive branch to them, then they'll surely come clean when they have a lawsuit before them.
Don't stoop to their level and kill off all their birds; You'd face worse than they would in court.
#146054 to #146050 - anonymous (07/22/2014) [-]
Malicious revenge is my cup of tea, bro. Get a bird feeder and poison the seeds. Pour in sand with the seeds, too.

You could always buy a hawk and set it loose. The apex predator will put those bitch birds in their place.
User avatar #146053 to #146050 - fistfireace (07/22/2014) [-]
It may have been an accident. Sure, it sucks that your cat is dead now, but killing your neighbors pets won't solve anything. Also, killing an innocent animal because people killed your animal is pretty cruel.

Nothing you can do, but to move on.
User avatar #146048 - thisisestonia (07/21/2014) [-]
do americans think twerking makes you a slut? I mean, no offence, but whenever I see someone twerk I get disgusted. www.funnyjunk.com/Funniest+Vines+2014/youtube/5220943/
User avatar #146058 to #146048 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx ONLINE (07/22/2014) [-]
It's objectifying the excess body fat that they have.
It shows that they feel comfortable conforming to such fads in society.

In a way: Yes.
In another way: If you're going to twerk, do it privately for someone; Don't post it online for attention.
User avatar #146049 to #146048 - fistfireace (07/21/2014) [-]
I think that's disgusting and stupid. As for the slut part, I guess, but I'm sure that the majority of girls who does it were sluts before doing it. And I'm also sure that they do it for attention, which makes it worse.
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