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#190594 - harbingerwolf
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Anyone know where i can watch Ted safely online without downloading or subscribing to any shit?
Im going to the cinema to see the second one tomorrow but never seen the first one. Figured it would be on netflix but it isnt <_<
#190593 - whoneedsthumbs
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Hey guys, whenever I'm browsing fj from my phone, every five or so posts I'll be redirected to a different page. While it's loading the URL will say "tracking.crobo" and then a bunch of letters and numbers, but then it takes me to a Google ad, usually for games. I've looked through all my settings, done a virus search, and nothing seems to be helping.
#190597 to #190593 - joshlol
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
it's just FJ's mobile adnetwork I think
#190598 to #190597 - joshlol
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
are any mobile ads that aren't iAds not garbage?
#190631 to #190598 - whoneedsthumbs
Reply 0
(07/09/2015) [-]
You've blessed me with your wisdom, Joshlol
#190596 to #190593 - sineztro
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
discussions.apple.com/thread/7012940 g Google is your friend
#190632 to #190596 - whoneedsthumbs
Reply 0
(07/09/2015) [-]
I'm an android
#190592 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
how do i get sober?
#190599 to #190592 - joshlol
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
wait for the effects to wear off?
#190602 to #190599 - anon
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
nvm i already sobered up
#190603 to #190602 - joshlol
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
cool
#190566 - imnotbaisse
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I just want to let everyone here with touble finding girls in highschool/middle school that basic bitches do exist in college life/at work around the age of 19+ so if you think you are never going to get laid take a knee do some lifting and wait until college.
#190567 to #190566 - anon
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
If you can't get laid in college you just plain suck. It's easier than finding the hungover student in class.
#190558 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
so, would 1590mg of prescription meds take my life?
#190571 to #190558 - bryzag
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
do it faggot double or nothing scrub
#190570 to #190558 - titsmccracken
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
No, but you might want to consider calling a suicide hotline.
#190559 to #190558 - sugoi
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Depends on the medication.
Chances are though, probably not, you'd overdose, throw up all the drugs you took then shit yourself before passing out for a day or two and wake up with a dry ass mouth that tastes like puke and pants full of shit.
#190562 to #190559 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
meds are citalopram and trazodone. Trazodone is for sleep, and citalopram is for depression and anxiety.
#190557 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
What's a good website to upload webm's to share with my friends? I'm new to this webm thing
#190560 to #190557 - sugoi
Reply +4
(07/08/2015) [-]
Funnyjunk.
#190600 to #190560 - foreveranonymous
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
>sharing something on Funnyjunk with your friends
It's like you want them to lose all of their friends
#190618 to #190600 - sugoi
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Crap, you're onto me.
#190572 to #190560 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
>friends
>funnyjunk
re-evaluate yourself home skillet
#190519 - normiefag
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
My (long distance, fairly recent) girlfriend is getting really pissy with me because I watch porn
What do, how to explain?
#190623 to #190519 - nanako
Reply 0
(07/09/2015) [-]
hah, wow

Tell her to fuck off. Find someone who's actually within a distance that you can hang out in-person.
#190573 to #190519 - bryzag
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
>send her a didilo
>attach note that says "happy birthday princess"
>ask her if she got the gift when it has been delivered
>tell her that you both have a routine fap time each day
>go on skype and fap to each other like true lovers
if you still want midgets, then minimise the window have fun
#190561 to #190519 - sugoi
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Tell her you don't watch porn and proceed to watch porn.
#190556 to #190519 - fukkentyranitar
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Show her how a dick works.
#190553 to #190519 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Keep watching porn (or don't, I don't care) and don't mention anything to her. I fucking hate it when my fiancee talks about porn, so now keeps his pornographic habits to himself. He still gets to spank the monkey and I stay happy.
#190536 to #190519 - welliguessitsaname ONLINE
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Let her know that unless she's willing to have sex whenever you want, you will keep choking the chicken.
#190532 to #190519 - joshlol
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
stop watching porn (it's bad for you anyway) or tell her to get over it
#190520 to #190519 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Tell her to send you nudes so you can fap to her, then proceed to fap to porn like usual.
#190522 to #190520 - normiefag
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
She has sent me nudes and I "use" them from time to time
But sometimes I just wanna see a midget getting railed y'know (I don't but you catch my drift)
Plus it's already kinda started, I told her I watch porn etc and I don't wanna suddenly be like "Okay okay I'm sorry, I'll only wank to you" because I'm not that beta
#190549 to #190522 - darkbladept
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Tell her it's normal to watch porn.
#190517 - nivvy
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
So I don't like my minimum wage job but I can't even get an interview to any other place. I sent 5 applications out and did not get a single call. I have a car and can work anytime but, what am I doing wrong?
#190550 to #190517 - hirollin
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
>5
#190551 to #190550 - nivvy
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I KNOW MY ERROR.
#190526 to #190517 - fukkentyranitar
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Only 5 applications? You're not hungry enough. I've applied to at least 15 places last month alone and I still haven't gotten a call back.
#190533 to #190526 - nivvy
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I thought 5 was a lot. Time to send more.
#190525 to #190517 - upunkpunk
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
>I sent 5 applications

Is that the best you've got?
#190534 to #190525 - nivvy
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I thought it was a lot haha.
#190535 to #190534 - upunkpunk
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I've sent at least 10 and no luck, just drag your big balls along this thorny path and you'll get there,as will I.
#190524 to #190517 - durkadurka
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
It could be your resume, but honestly you just have to keep trying. Try everything and anything.
#190521 to #190517 - malimrav
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Organize your CV, make it look nice and acceptable for the country you live in (different countries prefer different looking CV's, read some forum posts and look it up on google).
Also sending out applications is numbers game, don't feel disheartened.
#190516 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
I've got a girl coming over later this week and we're almost certainly going to fuck. I haven't known her long at all and there's practically no chance of this becoming a relationship because of distance issues, but we've gone on one very enjoyable date and texted a lot over the past two weeks, and it's clear there's mutual attraction. She strongly implied that I'm going to see her naked next time she comes over.

So my question is, should I tell her I'm a virgin? If so, should I tell her before or after the sex?

general losing-virginity advice is appreciated, too. Also I'm not completely inexperienced - I've already done everything short of penetration with my last girlfriend
#190624 to #190516 - nanako
Reply 0
(07/09/2015) [-]
Don't lie if asked, she'll probably see through that. but if not asked, don't bring the subject up
#190574 to #190516 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
You don't have to say anything. If you're shit she'll most likely ask. You have to make sure you do it right though. None of this "they did it in a porno I watched" bullshit. You have to start slow, make sure yo tell her it means something with your body. As soon as the balls rolling you can get faster. Change positions a few times to keep it interesting. If she's panting then you are doing it right. give her ice cream afterwards. I'm also a virgin, but this is my plan of action If you want full detail and instructions, just ask
#190590 to #190574 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
I'm not that worried that I'll suck in bed, to be honest. I am worried that her knowing she's taking my virginity will make it weird between us, because we're not even a couple. Based on how flirty she's been, I doubt she's a virgin herself

I do feel like i should be honest with her, though. It's mainly a question of when.
#190591 to #190590 - bryzag
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
It won't put her off. Just don't make it obvious.
#190523 to #190516 - anon
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Well if you have at least some idea what you're supposed to do I don't really see the need to tell her, especially since you guys won't be dating. But then again if you do tell her, she might put in extra effort to make it more enjoyable for you... or it might be a turn off for her. I don't really have any good advice, do what makes you feel most comfortable
And remember, fuck her right in pussy
#190529 to #190523 - anon
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Usually the "first time" is supposed to have some sort of deep emotional significance, and it's expected to be with someone you really care about. In my case, I don't mind that it's with a girl I've only met once, because I like her and we get along very well and I want to get laid and I'm not sentimental about it.
My worry is that her knowing she's my first might weird her out, sort of like how me saying "I love you" on the second date would be weird and awkward.
#190515 - yuuji
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
**yuuji used "*roll Magic 8-Ball*"**
**yuuji rolls Yes definitely** hi im looking for the autism board, is this it?
#190513 - voteshantae
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
The first day at my new job at Amazon was underwhelming to say the least. I don't know what to do. It's $11 an hour, 10 hours a day, full time, but I don't like it very much. I'm tired and sad now. I just left Wal-mart to get this job because I want the money. Can anyone offer an alternative that will make me happy?
#190575 to #190513 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
It's a job. You're supposed to be miserable. hat makes you happy?
#190576 to #190575 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
what*
#190514 to #190513 - alexanderburns ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
become a genie
#190505 - darkbladept
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Hi guys,I'm going to the 10th grade and my father is trying to decide if we should move to another country and he has let me choose if we go or not.My problem is that I'm worried that I'll get worse grades do to the language barrier but other than that I want to go.Do you think that school would be harder on a different country or do you think that it's worth it to move?
#190507 to #190505 - schurftinator
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
I am not sure how old you are going to the 10th grade, sorry! but depending on the country, most schools have good programs to help you learn the local language so I would check that out first. if not, look for international schools! they teach in english!
sucks though that your father would leave such a big decision up to you, yikes!
#190510 to #190507 - darkbladept
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Now that you mentioned it,my father leaving the decision to me might be a blessing or a curse haha. Thanks for you imput!
#190503 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
I feel horny all the time at the moment, I'm a female virgin and fapping isn't cutting it...
I DUN WANNA SECKS THO
suggestions?
#190577 to #190503 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
see how many things you can fit in your ass at once. use the shower hose. masturbate outside where people might see you it gives you a rush
#190511 to #190503 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
sharpie in the butt. works everytime.
#190506 to #190503 - schurftinator
Reply +2
(07/07/2015) [-]
there are some awesome sextoys for females out there, if you have the money of course. look for the hitachi magic wand and thank me later.
#190504 to #190503 - darkbladept
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Use a vibrator,or do new and exciting things.
#190476 - mondominiman ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Why are simple tunes like this 100x scarier than pretty much everything modern movies come out with today. Stuff like this scared the crap out of me when I was younger and still sends a chill down my spine even today.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=OioLF2zoo00
#190475 - alexanderburns ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Considering taking an awful full time minimum wage factory job because they hire literally anyone, are running 24 hours a day 6 days a week, pay cash, and it's a 25 minute walk from my house. I know this because my friend works security there.

How to survive 8 hour shifts. Have never worked 8 hours straight before.
#190578 to #190475 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
remember that you get to go home and rest when it's done
#190539 to #190475 - makotoitou
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
>walk
lrn2car
#190483 to #190475 - advicedude
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
listen to music if you can. if not, try socializing.
#190463 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
gf, for almost 2 months now, for the past week and a half I haven't seen her and it's killing me, I'm overthinking everything and I really just think I need to hold her to get myself in order. she isn't online much and never answers her phone. I've kept asking her to see her but she keeps saying that she is tired or something (not in a bad way I think) and what I mean is that we haven't spoken a lot lately, I really miss her, I don't know what to say anymore to get to see her
#190579 to #190463 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Go to her house with flowers and candies you fucking casual
#190484 to #190463 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Long Distance relationship?
#190490 to #190484 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
it's gonna get long distance in september because I have school 200km away
#190487 to #190484 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
nop, she lives a 20 minute drive away from me and I got the means to travel by car
#190489 to #190487 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
do you mean you don't have the means? or you are able to drive to her?
#190491 to #190489 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
I can drive her and I can drive myself. she's getting her license soon, too
#190492 to #190491 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Well I'm in a relationship right now with a girl that lives 20 min away. we've just been staying at my place mostly. An unofficial move in lol but with school I can see it getting harder. just know as long as you two put in the effort, it'll work.
#190493 to #190492 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
you live by yourself, then?
#190494 to #190493 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
I live at home but also gf stays over for extrended periods of time. like a very long sleepover
#190496 to #190494 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
yeah, yeah, I got that. coo. heh how long have you been seeing each other?
#190497 to #190496 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
4-5 months.
#190498 to #190497 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
do you count the weeks and months or does it get forgotten (does it lose it's importance)
#190548 to #190498 - advicedude
Reply +1
(07/08/2015) [-]
Well I also had a real long distance relationship for over a year and that was kind of demanding too but we both wanted to put in the effort so it was nice. As long as you two really like eachother and make the effort, it should be fine. You'll find ways of your own to go about doing things when it comes to long distance because it's different for everybody.
#190473 to #190463 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
You need to give her an ultimatum, sounds to me like she could have possibly lost interest... Sorry
this is womanexplain btw
#190478 to #190473 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
she had lost her phone somewhere
#190477 to #190473 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
not gonna do that, I'm her first bf, she's my first, not gonna break it up (risk it) because I am needy for attention I'm talking to one of her best friends right now and the friend says that she might be shy and because of that she's not certain of some things, that she might seem off
#190480 to #190477 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
womanexplain
#190481 to #190480 - womanexplain
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Sorry I misread your comment as you hadn't seen here in 2 months.
Just ask her if anything is wrong, sorry my comment wasn't right.
Try and be a little more happy go lucky with the whole thing, one huge piece of advice I would give you too IS WAIT TO SAY I LOVE YOU.
#190499 to #190481 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
I know that saying ily can be replaced with little things, like I say to her (almost all the time I/she leave(s) "Hoia end", which basically translates to "keep yourself safe"

or even saying good night, as I say sleep tight instead of good night
#190502 to #190499 - womanexplain
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
It does show you care for her, just ask her what's up.
If she's expecting an I love you after 2 months she's not experienced enough to see that's wrong.
#190500 to #190499 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
which should show that I care for her?
#190482 to #190481 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
oh, that too, what's a good time for that? internet says after I've learned most little awesome things about her, then
#190488 to #190482 - womanexplain
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
when you feel it's right, but not for a couple more months.
#190495 to #190488 - anon
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
I really can't say, I like her a lot and I enjoy her company but that really says nothing, right?
#190501 to #190495 - womanexplain
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Not yet, but you won't know for a little while.
Trust me when you know you love her it'll practically fall out your mouth.
#190466 to #190463 - joshlol
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
she's out fucking posttwo
#190470 to #190466 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
not funny
#190468 to #190466 - posttwo ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
hah
#190479 to #190468 - thisisestonia ONLINE
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
yeah you wish
#190459 - fukinitech
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
why am i filled with so much fury right now? i feel like im literally about to fuck someone up and idk why
#190527 to #190459 - fukkentyranitar
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Beat meat.
#190544 to #190527 - fukinitech
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
nah im good now
#190485 to #190459 - advicedude
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Try masterbating.
#190467 to #190459 - joshlol
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
there there
#190469 to #190467 - fukinitech
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
fuck you too joshlol
#190460 to #190459 - confusedasian
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
When a problem comes along
You must whip it
Before the cream sets out too long
You must whip it
When something's goin' wrong
You must whip it
#190461 to #190460 - fukinitech
Reply +2
(07/07/2015) [-]
wow that made me even angrier fuck your anime faggot
#190474 to #190461 - womanexplain
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
don't talk to smoke kitty like that you grumpy poo
#190512 to #190462 - fukinitech
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
im good now sorry bout that
#190456 - nigalthornberry
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#190440 - blueninja
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
hey just wondering is it possible to become physically ill after a long bit of insomnia.
#190528 to #190440 - fukkentyranitar
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
Of course. Headaches and dizziness go hand in hand with sleep deprivation.
#190486 to #190440 - advicedude
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
quite possible.
#190445 to #190440 - oxidoferroso
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
**oxidoferroso used "*roll picture*"**
**oxidoferroso rolled image**Like headaches and dizziness?
#190446 to #190445 - blueninja
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
dizziness yes and nausea
#190448 to #190446 - oxidoferroso
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
Then yeah, it's possible to become physically ill. Are you one of those poor restless souls?
#190449 to #190448 - blueninja
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
i work nights so my sleep schedule is sporadic as hell
#190450 to #190449 - oxidoferroso
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
**oxidoferroso used "*roll picture*"**
**oxidoferroso rolled image**Damn, then there's not much you can do. Unless you completly change your sleep schedule and start sleeping in the morning
#190439 - acidjunk
Reply 0
(07/07/2015) [-]
So, im gonna respond to my friends mail from like 6 months ago finally and send her a game with it. Im gonna use a Wolfenstein: TNO postcard because i can, so i have limited space to write. Any ideas what should i write on it to spice it up? I want it to be kinda funny.
#190580 to #190439 - bryzag
Reply 0
(07/08/2015) [-]
say tits or no re
#190453 to #190439 - sugoi
Reply +1
(07/07/2015) [-]
Use the first letter of every line to spell out.
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