Home Original Content Funny Pictures Funny GIFs YouTube Funny Text Funny Movies Channels Search
hide menu

Show All Replies Show Shortcuts
Show:   Highest Rated Newest
auto-refresh every 1 2 3 5 seconds


Per page:
Order:
Anonymous commenting is allowed
User avatar #109127 - funnyjunkianonetwo (12/29/2013) [-]
Got a question because I'm writing something here. How would one hold a bow without holding it in their hand. Like slung over their back or something. I know that someone could do it, but I want to know the best and most logical way to do it.
#109141 to #109127 - iridium ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
With the feet.
0
#109140 to #109127 - iridium has deleted their comment [-]
#109126 - smilegoddamnit (12/29/2013) [-]
Hi Fj,
Okay I actually have a pretty big problem, wrapped in an other. Okay so...my boyfriend, he slowly is transforming into this person I slightly hate.
You see, we were originally friends, both writers, both artists, so I asked him out three months ago. He was really excited, and we were happy for awhile.
Though, I started being really open with my suicidal thoughts, depression, cutting, and fears...pretty much every intimate detail of my life. Mostly, that scared him, and I can see why.
Afterwards though, his nice side...day by by it became less evident. Even to the point where I just go enough will power to getting up from being depressed along while after coming back home after some verebal abuse...
I really need to end it with him...I mean I've talked to him about this before but it only gets worse...
I don't want him around anymore.
Though, I don't want to hurt him emotionally too much when I leave him, because I'm still terrified because my first boyfriend threatened suicide...
...thanks FJ.
User avatar #109277 to #109126 - thedudeistheman (12/30/2013) [-]
Your current boyfriend is not your first boyfriend. If you need to leave him, then you should do it soon.
#109296 to #109277 - smilegoddamnit (12/30/2013) [-]
Thank you very much for the reply.
#109224 to #109126 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
let the fucker die, get Romeo & Juliet on his ass.
User avatar #109179 to #109126 - icespine (12/29/2013) [-]
be honest with him and tell him exactly what you feel. it is best you leave him for it is not doing you any good being with him. and don't feel bad for leaving him, relationships are only great if both of you are happy. i hope everything goes well for you though
#109297 to #109179 - smilegoddamnit (12/30/2013) [-]
Thank you very much.
User avatar #109131 to #109126 - WtfStrawberries (12/29/2013) [-]
Ending it is the best solution from my point of view. Don't wait it out, or put it off. Ive been in situations really similar to yours, and its best for yourself to do it quickly, if thats what you feel like you need to do.
#109133 to #109131 - smilegoddamnit (12/29/2013) [-]
Thank you for replying, I think ending the relationship is best too. Thank you for reenforcing that I kind of need it at this point.
User avatar #109129 to #109126 - funnyjunkianonetwo (12/29/2013) [-]
Just end it. Oftentimes if people even threaten suicide they are either asking for attention, or they need a lot of help. Professional help. You don't want to be the person needing professional help. If you need someone to talk to about your depression and such, do it on the internet. It helps. I've done it before, people listen, and trolls are obvious. I used to do it on FJ occasionally in certain places, and I never even found the trolls, and it helped me. Talk to friends if you need someone to talk to face-to-face. Seriously, just end it. I don't know how comprehensible this comment is. Thinking about your problems brings out some of my own, and I'm listening to a video as I type this. Good luck to you. Sorry if this doesn't help you...
#109130 to #109129 - smilegoddamnit (12/29/2013) [-]
Thank you...I do let's my depressive thoughts out to my online friends a lot, currently seeing a new therapist to so that should help with some of the hurt. I'm just trying to build up some courage to face him again I guess.
Thank you really for a reply, it's help just to know that I'm not being irrational.
0
#109114 - mrnormal has deleted their comment [-]
#109226 to #109114 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
make it a more awkward experience for her than you.
With luck she'll never want near another mans ass again.
User avatar #109142 to #109114 - iridium ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
If you're that comfortable in your relationship, mayhaps you should try it? Perhaps you can even bargain with her so you can do it on her later. There are some things you'd need to be careful of when doing so though (lube, foreplay especially).

If you don't want to do it, then say so, it's completely understandable. You don't ever have to do anything in your relationship, and if she gets frustrated then she doesn't understand a very simple concept of having sex, which is that you don't do stuff in a mutual relationship that the other isn't comfortable with. Also, if you don't like it you should never have to do it again.
User avatar #109132 to #109114 - WtfStrawberries (12/29/2013) [-]
If you're serious and not a troll.
Just give it a try, if you dont like it than just never do it again.
Start out with something small, and it feels incredibly weird at first but once you get used to it it gets better.
User avatar #109117 to #109114 - advicedude (12/29/2013) [-]
Try it. Had a girl lick my anus once and it was amazing.
User avatar #109118 to #109117 - mrnormal (12/29/2013) [-]
Ive done that, but Ive never done anal like a strap-on.
User avatar #109119 to #109118 - advicedude (12/29/2013) [-]
idk bout that. maybe really slow.
User avatar #109120 to #109119 - mrnormal (12/29/2013) [-]
lotta lube I guess. Oh well
User avatar #109116 to #109114 - ferrettamer ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Don't be a puss and put out
User avatar #109103 - misterobotunicorn (12/29/2013) [-]
how do you guys view gif files? i have windows 8 and the default program doesnt open them, and i think its the same with windows 7, you may think this is a stupid question because this if a website filled with gifs, but i never open the gif file i just know what it is
#109227 to #109103 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
with my eyes
User avatar #109134 to #109103 - WtfStrawberries (12/29/2013) [-]
You can use internet exploder, chrome, or whatever other broowser you have. To do it easily, just right click the gif, go to "open with...", and IE will be the only browser on there. If you want to set it as your default way to open it, just go to "open with" and choose "choose default program"
User avatar #109124 to #109103 - misticalz ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Try Quicktime player
Plays videos
GIFS
audio.
User avatar #109111 to #109103 - advicedude (12/29/2013) [-]
open a new tab in google chrome, drag and drop onto the page.
User avatar #109105 to #109103 - ferrettamer ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Internet explorer
User avatar #109106 to #109105 - misterobotunicorn (12/29/2013) [-]
i was thinking that. But isnt it a inconvenience because most people dont use Internet Explorer?
User avatar #109108 to #109106 - ferrettamer ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
It's fine on Windows 7. My default browser is set to Chrome, but my default .gif viewer is IE, and I just click on them and it opens.
User avatar #109092 - vanhoutte (12/29/2013) [-]
hey Funnyjunk. i have been with you for quite a while. you have always provided a hilarious escape for me. but this year has been a brutal one. Im wondering if anyone would have any advice for me. I lost my home in the june floods in high river, alberta, canada. My parents have broken up after 22 years and they live 1000 km away so i cant be there to do anything about it. on top of that my beloved girlfriend has left me recently. i was with her for 3 years. she was my everything. granted yes I fucked alot of things up in the long dramatic story of our relationship. there were alot of bad times. But when there were times where nothing was wrong, everything seem bright, she loved me and I loved her, I felt invincible. Like nothing could touch me. But I guess I did too many things wrong, and brought out the worst in her and she brought out the worst in me. It's cliche really, but I guess you don't know what you have until its gone. I know sometimes FJ hates people who say this but, I am ready to end my own life. If there is nothing I can do about the love of my life, The family who I used to be able to say was an extremely close family full of love and acceptance, or the fact that I cannot get back on my feet since the flood. I just had my 20th birthday. It was the worst feeling Ive ever had to come to realise that the last 3 years of my life have been wasted, and my future looks grim. I wasted her Life, and I destroyed mine.

Please Funnyjunk; A source of laughter and escape for me, can you tell me if it is worth it to keep going. If so is there anything you can tell me I can do to remedy it. Because I feel Im out of options, and I feel lost, alone, confused, and extremely depressed. I can't do this alone.

What can I do?
#109231 to #109092 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
It would be easier if you ended it, a LOT easier.
User avatar #109135 to #109092 - WtfStrawberries (12/29/2013) [-]
The last three years haven't been a waste. Yes, sad things have happened, and now you feel like you're at your lowest... But things will change. You have the sad moments with your ex, but you also have the happy memories. Just treasure those, and know that one day you'll probably be in a relationship with a girl that can make you just as happy, or even happier.
You just have to keep working to improve, and one day you'll get there. You say you dont know what you have until its gone... But now you know just how much it really means the next time you have it. There's always hope. Could it be an option for you to go stay with one of your parents so you have a better chance of getting back on your feet?
User avatar #109101 to #109092 - teoberry (12/29/2013) [-]
High river eh? Let's go to stampede in the summer nig
User avatar #109098 to #109092 - silverzepher ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Death is an old friend, if you haven't received your invitation to the party don't show up early. if you have nothing to lose for you have lost it all the only thing you should do is push forward with all you have. better to have tried and lost than to not have tried at all, remember that as you walk forward towards your future, weather your end comes at your own hands, Time's, or Another's do not stop moving forward wile you still have options, just because your opponent has called mate in 1, doesn't mean there isn't a way to force them back.
#109097 to #109092 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
User avatar #109093 to #109092 - comandante (12/29/2013) [-]
First of all, know you did not waste your life. I used to think like that about my friends. But you should thank her. She brought you happiness. Yes some saddess as well (As far as I'm reading, alot). But you must understand dude, as much as it sucks, live DOES go on. Now how you want it to go from here, is your choice. I don't know what you have on your plate now but choice the best option. Take the next couple of years only to improve and think about yourself. IDK if this will help you but my crush's mom says she will move back to china and become a monk once her son of 12 years is able to live on his own. At first you think its crazy and stupid, how could she leave her kids like that? But as i thought about it, its kinda normal. She is able to say, specifcally at her death bed: When i was in my 20's and 30's, i had a family. Those years you spent with that girl were only a part of YOUR life, full of ups and downs. Saddess is easy, turn on the news to see the sorrows of the world, its fucking sad. There are a million people who don't give a fuck about you, who will never bring you happiness. This girl brought you happiness. Sorry for longgggg thread
#109084 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
Would it look weird for a 20 year old male to try hooking up with a 21-23 year old female? Is that too old?
User avatar #109139 to #109084 - feelythefeel (12/29/2013) [-]
Why would it be?
User avatar #109112 to #109084 - advicedude (12/29/2013) [-]
nope. times are a changin
User avatar #109096 to #109084 - writingdove (12/29/2013) [-]
She's only a couple of years older, why would there be a problem? There's nothing wrong with dating an older lady especially in this society. Have fun dude
User avatar #109091 to #109084 - infamoustrapper (12/29/2013) [-]
lol anon doesn't know what he's talking about. fuck her hard anon. get in it
#109089 to #109084 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
I wouldn't advise it since she is older. Women who are older and more experienced tend to cheat AND take advantage of people who are younger. Trust me.

To her you are a young piece of ass for her to get her rocks off. But as soon as she sees someone who is around her age and more compatible, she will toss you aside.
User avatar #109122 to #109089 - awesomerninjathing (12/29/2013) [-]
it's a fucking 1 year difference
User avatar #109110 to #109089 - iridium ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
This guy generalizes people soooo hard.
User avatar #109078 - teoberry (12/29/2013) [-]
This is a small chance, but I'm looking for a shirt. It's a dress shirt type, but there are saturday night specials (small handguns) all over it. Anyone know what I'm talking about?
#109076 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
Would a 23 year old be too old for a 20 year old to date?
User avatar #109109 to #109076 - iridium ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
You're both above 18, who really cares so long as you're compatible? My parents had a 10 year age difference and their relationship worked out fine for many years.
User avatar #109077 to #109076 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Depends. If you are a woman then you could date anyone over 16 and get away with it. But if you are a guy then she has to be at most 2 years younger, or you are labeled as a pervert.
#109079 to #109077 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
I'm a male. So, 18 - 20 would be fine for me? Not 21, 22, or 23 (too old?)?
User avatar #109081 to #109079 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Also, 20 is the age where one is in college. 23 isn't. So even if you do date her for god knows what crazy reason, she is going to end up fucking someone else at a party. Don't be stupid and date college women.
User avatar #109080 to #109079 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
no, 18-20 would be bad and 21 + would be good.
#109082 to #109080 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
Sorry, I forgot to put that I'm the 20 year old.
User avatar #109087 to #109082 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Actually, hold that thought. Are you a male or female? If female then that's bad.
User avatar #109088 to #109087 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
nvm you already answered that, you should be fine
User avatar #109086 to #109082 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Then you should be fine.
User avatar #109075 - Metallicock (12/29/2013) [-]
I need some computer help
User avatar #109094 to #109075 - herbolifee (12/29/2013) [-]
IT guy reporting in. Tell me.
User avatar #109102 to #109094 - Metallicock (12/29/2013) [-]
never mind, I got it
User avatar #109073 - nigalthornberry (12/28/2013) [-]
Did the whole good morning and how are you doing today she seemed a little bit happier today i think but she it kinda seems like shes hiding some feelings or things
www.funnyjunk.com/advice/109067#109067
User avatar #109059 - austoboyko (12/28/2013) [-]
Got an iphone 5c, any recommendations for cases? I know otter box is real good.
User avatar #109113 to #109059 - advicedude (12/29/2013) [-]
Otterbox or lifeproof are best. No contest and don't settle for less.
#109058 - anonymous (12/28/2013) [-]
Where do guys like being touched or rubbed when cuddled? Ex: Forearm, stomach, ect.. >nb4 penis
User avatar #109074 to #109058 - infamoustrapper (12/29/2013) [-]
idk for me literally anywhere feels good.
User avatar #109065 to #109058 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
You probably shouldn't touch them at all. Most men don't like being touched.
#109063 to #109058 - anonymous (12/28/2013) [-]
A gentle caressing of the hand is my favorite
#109060 to #109058 - lotengo (12/28/2013) [-]
i have never been cuddled. but i imagine i woud like if she stroked her fingers trough my hair
User avatar #109048 - herblegerble (12/28/2013) [-]
Is there anywhere that a 16 year old could invest £400? Obviously an adult could probably help if necessary with all the legal stuff.
User avatar #109064 to #109048 - hawaiianhappysauce ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
I would invest in shares. You might need someone who is 18 + for your broker but it's really fun. WARNING trading has risks, which may include losing money. On the other hand, you may find a company that looks promising and you decide to do research on that company. You might make a profit off those shares or dividends. Some shares are big winners (the biggest winner I've seen was Berkshire hathaway plan A, started at 500 dollars then grew to 150000 dollars, don't expect it to happen again). A big winner that I had was Apple. Bought the stock at 450 then sold it around 650. It did go up to 700 but then crashed right after. That's a 200 dollar - transaction fee + dividends I earned per quarter (i think it was around 2 dollars, still helps pay that transaction fee).
User avatar #109061 to #109048 - lotengo (12/28/2013) [-]
the new xbox and a game or 2?
User avatar #109062 to #109061 - herblegerble (12/28/2013) [-]
im alright
User avatar #109055 to #109048 - makotoitou (12/28/2013) [-]
steam cards
User avatar #109049 to #109048 - Timmietim (12/28/2013) [-]
stocks
User avatar #109050 to #109049 - herblegerble (12/28/2013) [-]
I dont necessarily trust myself with that, but that is one option I have thought about.
I was thinking more on the side of tracker funds.
User avatar #109157 to #109050 - skeptical (12/29/2013) [-]
penny stocks
User avatar #109051 to #109050 - Timmietim (12/28/2013) [-]
Would've said bitcoins but those got screwed over lately lel
User avatar #109052 to #109051 - herblegerble (12/28/2013) [-]
God damn bitcoins...
User avatar #109032 - prettypalmtrees (12/28/2013) [-]
Does anyone know how to heal a light burn that left a mark? I'd google it, but I'm skeptical about most of that stuff and I'd rather hear from someone who knows what they're talking about.
Yesterday while I was straightening my hair, I nicked my forehead and it left a bit of a mark and the skin's all shiny. It's not too bad, but I want to heal it since it's on my face lol c:

I'm much obliged to anyone that helps me
User avatar #109041 to #109032 - ariscorp (12/28/2013) [-]
Butter - natural antiseptic
User avatar #109044 to #109041 - prettypalmtrees (12/28/2013) [-]
Really? Never knew that
User avatar #109045 to #109044 - Timmietim (12/28/2013) [-]
Yeah actually forget the toothpaste, butter is better. forgot about that one.
User avatar #109046 to #109045 - prettypalmtrees (12/28/2013) [-]
Oh okay. I'll attempt butter tonight
User avatar #109034 to #109032 - Timmietim (12/28/2013) [-]
Toothpaste works wonders for some reason.
User avatar #109035 to #109034 - prettypalmtrees (12/28/2013) [-]
Should I leave it on overnight?
User avatar #109057 to #109035 - skeptical (12/28/2013) [-]
No, leave it on for 30 min- 1hr and then peel it off
User avatar #109068 to #109057 - prettypalmtrees (12/28/2013) [-]
I'll try that first!
User avatar #109083 to #109068 - skeptical (12/29/2013) [-]
Reason I say this is because applying toothpaste like that is pretty much a cure-all for any mundane dermal problems, like burns, acne, infection, etc. Not the first thing to go to for everything, but I've dealt with it before and it's generally a 30 min thing. Let me know how that works out.
User avatar #109379 to #109083 - prettypalmtrees (12/31/2013) [-]
It's completely healed now!
User avatar #109099 to #109083 - prettypalmtrees (12/29/2013) [-]
I tried it for 30 minutes. It significantly reduced the shininess. I'm going to do it each night. Thanks
User avatar #109036 to #109035 - Timmietim (12/28/2013) [-]
Yeah that's good.
User avatar #109026 - lusir (12/28/2013) [-]
I finally got my first girfriend and we have been together for 3 weeks and everytime we are the her place I try to....you know...grab some ass or slowly reach for her boob area and stuff like that....she always grabs my hand and says something like "what are you trying to do?" or she says "stop it" but not in an angry way....I just want to ask....am I weird?...Should I stop?...I really have no experience in this...
User avatar #109123 to #109026 - marinepenguin (12/29/2013) [-]
Is she a virgin? If so, it's probably best to chill out a little bit. Because she probably isn't comfortable or is nervous. And since she's your first girlfriend I'm assuming you are as well.

Plus It's only been 3 weeks, get to know each other better on an emotional level and then maybe she'll be more open to a more physical relationship. I wouldn't quit trying all together, but be more fun about it, tease her a little and play fight. Warm things up a bit and get more comfortable with each other. I've been dating a girl 9 months and there literally isn't anything we could do to each other physically that would be considered weird. You just have to get comfortable.
User avatar #109128 to #109123 - lusir (12/29/2013) [-]
Although we have been dating only for 3 weeks we have known each other for 3 years because we were very close friends, and neither her nor I feel like we have been dating for a short time, you know what I mean
User avatar #109168 to #109128 - marinepenguin (12/29/2013) [-]
Hmm, well if you guys have been friends for so long then being comfortable with each other shouldn't be a problem at all. But you also shouldn't just be focused on the physical stuff. I mean, I can see where you're coming from, I'm a physical guy, I like touching, hugging, cuddling, and grabbing ass as much as the next guy. But it's a lot easier in the long run, and more fulfilling, if you connect on a more emotional level (beyond close friends) and then move towards a physical connection. Then like I said earlier, you can do whatever pretty much and she won't get mad at all.
User avatar #109265 to #109168 - lusir (12/29/2013) [-]
Yeah I guess you are right, I will try your advice, thanks a lot bro!
User avatar #109053 to #109026 - iridium ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
There's a chance she's teasing you, but I wouldn't risk it. You could well be moving too fast.
User avatar #109027 to #109026 - advicedude (12/28/2013) [-]
You're taking it too fast for her. Next time, on a date or something, Just kiss her on the cheek or lips and get back to the day. Try not to focus dates around you getting pussy in the end.
User avatar #109029 to #109027 - lusir (12/28/2013) [-]
No no , I do not want to force her into anything....and to be honest we have already made out many many times not just kiss on the cheek...and she lets me grab her ass.....
User avatar #109054 to #109029 - advicedude (12/28/2013) [-]
You're sure 3 weeks isn't too soon? I used to be like that but one girl I waited almost a month just to kiss her. That relationship lasted 5 and a half months and it was the longest I've had so far. We broke up due to family complications and reasons but taking it slow definitely helps make the relationship more worth while and you cherish the moments where you're not trying to grab her ass. Maybe getting a smile from a strike in bowling, her liking food you cooked at a diner, a subtle embrace of the hand while watching a movie. Stuff like that. I'm not saying you're some sort of pervert, I love asses. I'm an ass kind of guy, but when it comes to relationships, any girl has an ass to gawk at, but only your girl has the heart she has.
#109023 - anonymous (12/28/2013) [-]
how come having a big penis is important?
#109136 to #109023 - anonymous (12/29/2013) [-]
Ok honestly, its more of a preference thing. Its like guys on tits. Most girls assume that guys are shallow asses who only care about big tits, most guys think girls only want big dicks. Some guys like smaller tits, some girls like smaller dicks. Vice versa. Its a generalized thing, some girls just think big dicks are the only way to go since thats what theyre told/what they hear feels the best.
User avatar #109107 to #109023 - iridium ONLINE (12/29/2013) [-]
Sexual satisfaction for shameless bitches who think that the only way they can be satisfied is with a huge cock.

3 problems with this:

-Most Women don't actually reach orgasm through penetration alone because of the way their genitals are structured.
-Beyond something like 8 inches (depending on the girl), the D can actually be too big to even fit all the way in and can even hurt.
-Having a big cock is meaningless if you don't know how to use it.
#109025 to #109023 - anonymous (12/28/2013) [-]
Because women are shallow whores.
User avatar #109022 - misticalz ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
OK so it's already happened but for next time
If it's 5am and I haven't slept yet, do I sleep? or do I stay awake?
I hate waking up in the afternoon. I feel like I wasted life.
I've been told I should eat a big breakfast and go for a walk to refresh my body if I've stayed up all night.
Tips?
What should I do next time?
User avatar #109016 - iusethisaccfornsfw (12/28/2013) [-]
I'm moving out of my parents house in two weeks.
I have been working on some budgets and stuff and I came to the conclusion that
I have 105€ a month for food. Is this enough?
What to buy? Is it cheaper to be a vegetarian?
I live in Finland please help.
User avatar #109021 to #109016 - misticalz ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
I would advise asking 4chan's /b/ board
A lot of those people are lonely college students.
They know how to survive on minimum wage.
User avatar #109031 to #109021 - iusethisaccfornsfw (12/28/2013) [-]
>lonely
>wat
User avatar #109033 to #109031 - misticalz ONLINE (12/28/2013) [-]
sorry m8 never meant to imply you were lonely. o;
User avatar #109040 to #109033 - iusethisaccfornsfw (12/28/2013) [-]
Nah I misunderstood it.
User avatar #109015 - faithrider (12/28/2013) [-]
hi guys... so this isn't an immediate issue, just kinda blowing off some worries i have about this relationship thing i am in...

i really think that i am going to ask this girl to marry me. this is of course going to be a few months down the road. my problem is that i really want to make the proposal and the ring and everything special. the other thing is that i value old fashioned values and stuff, so i know that i am going to have to ask her father's permission to propose. these are things i know will have to happen. my issue is that i am not a very brave person. so how, once i have the money and courage to propose to her, do i get the even more courage to actually ask for his blessing?
#109008 - saucegod (12/28/2013) [-]
lelele
#112669 to #109104 - saucegod (01/18/2014) [-]
lelelelleleelleleleleelleleelelelelelel
User avatar #109012 to #109008 - advicedude (12/28/2013) [-]
lelelelelele
 Friends (0)