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User avatar #154405 - ScottP (09/13/2014) [-]
Guys, I just spent my night mounting this girl and trying to choke her and she kept pushing me off. Then we swapped and she mounted me and tried to choke me and I had to keep pushing her off. We spent about ten minutes getting each other off. I don't know how to feel about this.

It was during karate practice

Also she was pretty cute
#154471 to #154405 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (09/13/2014) [-]
That gave me a good chuckle.
User avatar #154492 to #154471 - ScottP (09/13/2014) [-]
It would have been nice if we had met under different circumstances rather than her getting on the floor and telling me to get on top of her.
#154435 to #154405 - dehumanizer (09/13/2014) [-]
>karate practice
>at night
#154403 - swiggityswooty (09/13/2014) [-]
ok im trying to piece back reality, whats funny and whats not?
#154402 - svenninja (09/13/2014) [-]
I'm 16, a great worker (quiet, don't really need breaks,  never complain) and am currently employed at a local grocery chain. Everyone's cool, just about to start my third week,  and it's really not that demanding. I come to the advice board for help on getting more hours. They had me do four hours of training on  the first week, twelve hours last week, and another four this week (they've also got me working next Saturday,  but that's after next pay check so it doesn't concern me).   
   
How do I get more hours working in a minimum wage job on my third week? I'm saving up for a license and a used car, and I need cash now. Thanks.
I'm 16, a great worker (quiet, don't really need breaks, never complain) and am currently employed at a local grocery chain. Everyone's cool, just about to start my third week, and it's really not that demanding. I come to the advice board for help on getting more hours. They had me do four hours of training on the first week, twelve hours last week, and another four this week (they've also got me working next Saturday, but that's after next pay check so it doesn't concern me).

How do I get more hours working in a minimum wage job on my third week? I'm saving up for a license and a used car, and I need cash now. Thanks.
User avatar #154472 to #154402 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (09/13/2014) [-]
At most, they might give you 16-18 hours a week. Only because in the off chance you stay later than you're supposed to, they won't get fined.
#154436 to #154402 - dehumanizer (09/13/2014) [-]
just ask them to give you more hours
#154431 to #154402 - baitdoesnttalkback (09/13/2014) [-]
1. make yourself valuable. quiet hardworker gets you nothing except bare minimum.
2. the more you work there the more trustworthy you will be there
User avatar #154406 to #154402 - thedudeistheman ONLINE (09/13/2014) [-]
Depends on the laws. If you're in the U.S., you can't work more than a certain number of hours if you're a minor.
User avatar #154407 to #154406 - svenninja (09/13/2014) [-]
It's twenty hours max, which is still nowhere near what I am getting
User avatar #154408 to #154407 - thedudeistheman ONLINE (09/13/2014) [-]
By law you are required to be given breaks (I'm pretty sure, anyway), and I'm sure the grocery store you work at isn't so evil that they'll keep you from other things like school and extracurriculars, if you have any.
User avatar #154409 to #154408 - svenninja (09/13/2014) [-]
With all the free time I have listed, I could run a 40 hour work week. But they're not even giving me twenty. How do I get more than the hours I have right now? (4-12)
User avatar #154410 to #154409 - thedudeistheman ONLINE (09/13/2014) [-]
It's probably because you're 16. Just ask for more hours and see what happens. It's not like they're going to be mad that you want to work more.
#154430 to #154410 - baitdoesnttalkback (09/13/2014) [-]
your advice sucks
User avatar #154400 - skyrossm ONLINE (09/13/2014) [-]
#154432 to #154400 - baitdoesnttalkback (09/13/2014) [-]
nobody cares
User avatar #154404 to #154400 - fistfireace (09/13/2014) [-]
Impossible. You've just lost 800+ thumbs, if that was really you.
#154398 - fefe (09/13/2014) [-]
guise, i'm posting as anonymous cuz i'll probably get red thumbs for this, but my grandma and mom posted this Women as Background Decoration: Part 2 - Tropes vs Women in Video Games and i suck at arguing, and don't know what to do. i feel like they're misinformed, but just...ugh. i feel like some people here would know the right things to say.
#154441 to #154398 - dehumanizer (09/13/2014) [-]
Remind them it is true becasue women are dumber, weaker and more usless than men, just start bragging about how little they've contributed to society amd that the patriarchy exists for a reason.
#154396 - vegituh (09/13/2014) [-]
**vegituh rolled image**
#154393 - sisterblister (09/13/2014) [-]
anyone in the Dallas area need to get rid of a fish tank im looking to start one and having trouble finding a cheep one
#154384 - swiggityswooty (09/13/2014) [-]
FUCK YEAH
#154383 - swiggityswooty (09/13/2014) [-]
ACIIIID NOTHING IS REALLLL EVERYTHINKG FUCK YEAHHHHH
#154382 - neededllama (09/13/2014) [-]
So, there's a girl that likes me yes, I'm sure , and normally this would be great, cause it means I ain't gotta go impress no biddies now. The catch is that she not only just broke up with one of my close friends like less than a week ago , and they had a very nasty relationship. Usually, I'd just go for it, cause the guy's in college. But, he's at the same college I'm planning on going to next year VCU in Richmond and I even plan on being housemates with him and forming a band for college and hopefully after with him and some other guys who might very well take his side. Should I go for it now, wait a bit to make sure it isn't a rebound crush that'd disappear, or just leave her alone.
Keep in mind that a lot of people involved will be show choir kids, and if you never had them/talked to them at your high school, they love drama.
User avatar #154390 to #154382 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (09/13/2014) [-]
VIRGINIA REPRESENT
I'd wait. Take things slowly. Especially since they just broke up.
You want to make sure you're not the rebound, eh?

That, and given enough time both will move past each other and put it behind them.

So just take it slowly with her.
At most, you could be "courting" with her, eh? (Dating, but not.)
That way you know you're not the rebound/ not there to piss him off, and when things do start to get serious he won't care about his ex.
User avatar #154391 to #154390 - neededllama (09/13/2014) [-]
Yeah, I was thinking like just starting to chat with her more n shit now, maybe chill a bit, then see how he reacts to that. Probably sneak some hook ups in though.
#154378 - gunatyoface (09/12/2014) [-]
Just smoked like a gram of cannabis, and I'm going to the doctor to give a urine sample in about 1-2 months from now. This isn't a drug-test, but for a couple of vaccines. So am I fucked?
Just smoked like a gram of cannabis, and I'm going to the doctor to give a urine sample in about 1-2 months from now. This isn't a drug-test, but for a couple of vaccines. So am I fucked?
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#154386 to #154378 - swiggityswooty has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #154397 to #154386 - gunatyoface (09/13/2014) [-]
I don't do acid.
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#154385 to #154378 - swiggityswooty has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #154380 to #154378 - neededllama (09/13/2014) [-]
As long as you stay clean starting about 3 weeks ahead and drink a shit ton of water you'll be good.
User avatar #154379 to #154378 - gunatyoface (09/12/2014) [-]
First time, btw.
User avatar #154376 - darksideofthebeast (09/12/2014) [-]
Hey /advice/
I am having a bit of a... Mental problem? I guess you could call it that.
Anyways, I have a lot of things on my mind that I want to tell people, but when I tell people, nobody really cares to listen to me (except for 2 people) so I don't tell people that often.
So a lot of it is just built up in my head.
And I was wondering, how could I help myself release some thoughts and ideas that I have? Should I write them down? Should I turn it into lyrics or something for music, write poetry?

I have no clue what to do at this point, if anyone could recommend anything that would help me for something like this, I would greatly appreciate it.

To sum this up, it's not like depression or anything sad. It's just that I listen to everybody and no one listens to me. For example, I will be saying my thoughts, then they'll be like "oh cool" and then move onto a different subject...
#154439 to #154376 - dehumanizer (09/13/2014) [-]
ayy lmao its why i come here
User avatar #154394 to #154376 - indulge (09/13/2014) [-]
Write short stories. Don't hesitate, just write what comes to mind.
Another tip to maintain that hobby, DO NOT finish writing when you are out of ideas. Come up with a good idea, then stop. Trust me.
#154375 - ipostcp (09/12/2014) [-]
Know what I really hate? When you have been seeing somebody and they want a serious relationship and their idea of a serious relationship is completely rediculous and fantasy like.

So I met this girl about a week about, she seems alright. Smart and has her life together and she is attractive. We start talking about relationships and what not and she says that she hates how all guys want is sex. Apperently she dated some guy for about a year and a half and he asked about hitting the sack with her and she dumped him soon after cause of it. Since all he wanted was sex...

I mean, seriously? I can't say I'm only after sex, but that is pretty normal in any kind of relationship. She goes on and on about how it would be great to settle down and not work and be a housewife and shit like that. Red flags like crazy.

I'm gunna stop myself from doing anything with her, but holy hell.
#154438 to #154375 - dehumanizer (09/13/2014) [-]
>pure virgin wife
>a red flag

FUCKING DEGENERATE, WHEN THE CULLING STARTS I WILL FIND YOU.
User avatar #154377 to #154375 - gunatyoface (09/12/2014) [-]
"Know what I really hate?"
www.funnyjunk.com/hating/
But yeah, sounds like a bitch. Not for not wanting to have a sexually active relationship, but assuming things like that.
User avatar #154373 - datmine (09/12/2014) [-]
Quick!

How do i make a concrete floor using my arm hair.
#154341 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
>be me 8 years ago
>early teenager, hangingout with other kids around my age
>one is a qt, start to develop feels for her
>qt moves to other town, feelsbadman
>flashforward to 8 years later, present day
>im somewhat of a cyborg, not a robot but not a real human
>meet said girl from past, now a solid 10/10
>start talking to her
>realise that she's not only visualy appealing but mentally too, very smart,honest,pious,friendly and generaly pleasant to be around
>iminlove.jpg
>ofc she's inlove with some guy that im better than and in a relationship for 4 years
>knowing what little chance i have, I decide to man up and actualy fight against life for once
>lolnope.jpg
>time for uni comes, we'll both go to diffrent cities so i might not see her again
>decide its time to show my powerlevel,like why not?
>"anon i think its best if we have no more contacts, it will be easier for you to forget me" thats what she actualy said
>DEVISTATED
>btw since i met her i started drinking as a way to cope with the harsh reality
>go to uni, robot as fuck towards all the new people, getting drunk daily
>too hangover to work or pay attention in any of the classes
>eventualy battle over alcoholism and win
>time passes
>today is 1 year since i got rejceted
basicly never ever get inlove, dont even get influated its not worth it, definetly 0/10 worst year of my life, would rather kill myself then go through something like this
#154381 to #154341 - fefe (09/13/2014) [-]
I believe you meant "infatuated," not "influated"
User avatar #154374 to #154341 - fistfireace (09/12/2014) [-]
The first half of that sounds like the beginning of Norbit. Minus the robot feelings and "not being human".
User avatar #154349 to #154341 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
radical honesty helps a lot, moved alot of stress from my life
User avatar #154358 to #154353 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
First time he writes it like that
User avatar #154360 to #154357 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
>PSA
>Wat
#154363 to #154360 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
Public Service Announcment
User avatar #154364 to #154363 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
Ohh, thanks
#154350 to #154349 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
what's that supposed to mean?
User avatar #154354 to #154350 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
You should just have intervened when she wanted to cut ties, should've been honest with her. Might not have done shit besides having that feel off of your chest.
#154356 to #154354 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
yeah sucks that we're neighbors tho and runing into her is the number one reason i dont go out during the daytime
User avatar #154362 to #154356 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
That's pretty weak, and that comes from a guy who had a depression
#154365 to #154362 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
>had
>as if, ended

whoa, next thing you'll start complaining you havent had sex in 4 days?
User avatar #154367 to #154365 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
>implying you need sex

wtf you on about
#154368 to #154367 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
I dont but for some reason normalfags seem to be obsessed with it.
User avatar #154369 to #154368 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
Obsessing over simple things is what kills you
#154370 to #154369 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
Still I wonder what its like to be loved.
User avatar #154371 to #154370 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
It's not special unless you love the person back
#154355 to #154354 - fefe (09/12/2014) [-]
you're being played like a flute.
User avatar #154359 to #154355 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
jesus chirst just log in
#154343 to #154342 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
you didnt even read it faggot
#154345 to #154343 - fefe (09/12/2014) [-]
I saw your name.

it was enough for me to go on.

<-- it means stop, it's what you should do from now until doomsday.
#154346 to #154345 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
I am sorry but there is no other way.
#154347 to #154346 - fefe (09/12/2014) [-]
no one will believe you ever again.

ever read the boy who cried wolf?
#154348 to #154347 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
Actualy i've posted that story multiple times even before i began shitposting.
#154351 to #154348 - fefe (09/12/2014) [-]
Even more reason to stop.

shitposting on the advice board is a real dick move and is the most annoying thing you can do. if you are going to shitpost regardless of what people say, at least be original, git gud.
#154352 to #154351 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
NO, NOT UNTILL I EBBIN MEYMEY!
#154330 - boobiebanger (09/12/2014) [-]
I have run out of TV series, About to have a panic attack. Good tv series plz
I have run out of TV series, About to have a panic attack. Good tv series plz
User avatar #154395 to #154330 - indulge (09/13/2014) [-]
House of Cards? Lost? Arrested Development? .......Pokemon?
User avatar #154338 to #154330 - thelizardlord (09/12/2014) [-]
Godzilla the Series?
#154336 to #154330 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
60s spiderman.
60s spiderman.
User avatar #154333 to #154330 - haydentheviking (09/12/2014) [-]
in the flesh
#154334 to #154333 - boobiebanger (09/12/2014) [-]
more towards comedy n crime shows n stuff not a fan of horror
User avatar #154335 to #154334 - haydentheviking (09/12/2014) [-]
ah shame


its real good just gotta wait for season 3
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#154329 - boobiebanger has deleted their comment [-]
#154327 - gypsydude (09/12/2014) [-]
Hope all of you are having a good day
#154337 to #154327 - dehumanizer (09/12/2014) [-]
not really
#154328 to #154327 - princessren (09/12/2014) [-]
I want to have a pizza-movie party now

I hate you
User avatar #154294 - shodaihokage (09/12/2014) [-]
I start college in a few weeks and I am really nervous about taking business calculus. I did ok in calculus and algebra 2 but I would really appreciate if someone could give me some tips on what to review. I am just worried I am going to be sitting and class and not know what the fuck the teacher is talking about unless I review ahead of time.
User avatar #154366 to #154294 - crampers (09/12/2014) [-]
Just started University - Theres a steep learning curve but you don't start out at an impossible level
User avatar #154317 to #154294 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (09/12/2014) [-]
I highly recommend such things as:

Math Ref: play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.happymaau.MathRef
Microsoft Mathematics: www.microsoft.com/en-us/download/details.aspx?id=15702

And as ThatNigger said, they'll start from the basics and work their way up from there.
If anything, and at worst, you can always go to the tutoring center.
It wouldn't hurt to review ahead of time; It also wouldn't hurt to do a few of the Math courses at Khan Academy.
User avatar #154325 to #154317 - shodaihokage (09/12/2014) [-]
Thanks man Ill definitely check out the links.
User avatar #154315 to #154294 - thatnigger (09/12/2014) [-]
Not everyone reads ahead of time and I'm sure they go from basics into harder things as time goes on. I think just the basic intergration and differentiation rules should be good enough, you shouldn't get lost that way.
User avatar #154324 to #154315 - shodaihokage (09/12/2014) [-]
Alright thanks man I appreciate it.
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