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Latest users (3): fistfireace, guitarassassin, khaox, anonymous(36).
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#173258 - rezmorto (21 hours ago) [-]
Hey Funnyjunk, you don't know me but I've browsed this site for the last 4-5 years. I've never really asked for anything before from you guys, but i understand the power of the internet and what can happen when people support a cause.

Today I would like to ask that you take the time to look over my friends facebook page. I know you guys can do terrible things, but he's trying to become a writer in the film industry and every like helps.

Please only like if you absolutely enjoyed the video, and please refrain from shit spamming his wall. I trust you guys, and i know you guys support legitimate causes and not cries for thumbs. With your guy's help you could jump start his career.

Thank you FunnyJunk,
#173255 - dzimo (22 hours ago) [-]
its exam time for me. i masturbated so much past weeks that i am now no longer atracted to porn. how should i deal with this?
User avatar #173257 to #173255 - gypsydude (21 hours ago) [-]
Take that energy and do some art, or work out. Go for a nice little walk (unless you live in Detroit). Take some time away from the porn and when you get the urge try not to use the laptop and use your imagination. Then after awhile treat yourself to some online porn, but try not to overload yourself with to much.
#173266 to #173257 - dzimo (21 hours ago) [-]
#173254 - anonymous (22 hours ago) [-]
What are some cheap little things I can do for my girlfriend for valentine's day? I already got her a nice gift, but I wanna do a lot of little, romantic things. Those can be just as impactful. Stuff like... Writing down stuff you love about her, tying them with a little ribbon and putting them in something. Stuff like that.
User avatar #173259 to #173254 - gypsydude (21 hours ago) [-]
Writing a poem is a good start, and so is maybe drawing a picture for her. If you play a musical instrument, write her a song, or play her a song. Nice little things seem to be the best option. Maybe bring a movie for you two to watch. IDK I'm a lonely fuck
#173244 - anonymous (23 hours ago) [-]
So I made an oops.
I'll try to be concise.
Be with newish girlfriend. Messed around a bit, nothing too excessive. She starts her period on one of the days I'm there. Mess around a bit, whatever. Scoot to later the same day, want to mess around again. For some stupid reason, I decided to look at her nether regions, and having never seen a period, I may have reacted rather exaggeratedly (See, horrified). She got embarrassed, but didn't say anything. She got really quiet, shrugged, got dressed, and proceeded to get me off. Was very quiet afterwards, would barely speak. We didn't really talk about it, because I didn't realize what I did at the time.

Nowadays she's too insecure/feels disgusting to even let me touch her during that time even though I *really* don't mind. What do?
User avatar #173245 to #173244 - marinepenguin ONLINE (23 hours ago) [-]
just explain that you've never seen a girl having her period before and that you were just surprised more than disgusted. After that apologise and explain that it's not a big deal to you and you don't think she's disgusting.
#173233 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
Help. I'm living with my friend and his mum for a bit while we look for our own place.
I was going to do the dishes but his mum said I don't have to and they she will in the morning because she is too tired now. I'm fine with doing them. Should I do them anyway? I don't understand if she wants me to do them or not.
User avatar #173234 to #173233 - fillelindome (01/31/2015) [-]
Just fucking do it,
User avatar #173218 - gabemczombie ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
I need your help, advice. I'm supposed to write a speech for monday. It's going to be a speech you'd write for various events Funerals, award cermony etc. . So i figured i'd dedicate my speech to either Sergeant Avery Johnson from Halo or dedicate it to my Grandfather on my mother's side, whom i never got to meet because he died before i was born. Writing a speech about Johnson should be easier, but writing about my grandfather should be more meaningful.

Wat do?
User avatar #173247 to #173218 - sineztro (23 hours ago) [-]
do your grandpappy, meaning speaches are alway better than well ones based on fiction you know?
User avatar #173252 to #173247 - gabemczombie ONLINE (22 hours ago) [-]
Yeah i know. I decided to write it about him anyway.
User avatar #173219 to #173218 - newesttook (01/31/2015) [-]
Maybe use your Grandfather but work in a comparison to Sgt. Johnson?
User avatar #173220 to #173219 - gabemczombie ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
I'm fairly certain that wouldn't work
User avatar #173221 to #173220 - newesttook (01/31/2015) [-]
Keep in mind I'm basing this on all I know about your grandfather...
User avatar #173223 to #173221 - gabemczombie ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
He was a priest, and kind of a badass from what i've heard.

But i can't compare him to a videogame character, it feel disrespectful.
#173222 to #173221 - gabemczombie ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
You don't know about my grandfather!?
You don't know about my grandfather!?
User avatar #173216 - guiguito (01/31/2015) [-]
She said she cares, and told me to think about it.
I heard so much "i love you" or "i like you" and shit like that, it became commas like "fuck you".
But no one ever told me they care, my brain cannot process this information.
User avatar #173211 - iliekcereal (01/31/2015) [-]
What do you do when you maybe fell out of love with your partner, but they haven't? She's buying me a tattoo tomorrow. Nothing happened, I'm just really stressed and hating myself and don't feel anywhere near capable of experiencing any type of emotion let alone love and I hate myself for that because we've been dating for almost 13 months and she absolutely loves me and I don't want to hurt her or let her or her family, but I'm really just not sure I'm capable of a healthy relationship right now. But I hate people who say "Let's just be friends for awhile while I sort myself out" because that never works. And I also have hardly any friends outside of her and my roommate and I feel like me being alone is literally the worst possible thing. I want things to be okay with us, but I'm not sure I can get over myself.
User avatar #173217 to #173211 - newesttook (01/31/2015) [-]
I'm sorry to say it but you ARE hurting her by staying together "for her" or because it feels "familiar" and "safe". Right now it seems like the noble thing to push past those doubts and convince yourself you're happy so that your partner isn't hurt by how you're feeling, but you can't truly give her the life of love she deserves if it's a strain. Even if you manage to stamp down the feeling of not wanting to be together, you'll carry the guilt around until you are both miserable. You're gonna have to have faith in 1) HER ability to confront these feelings with you and 2) YOUR ability to sit down and have the conversation while accepting that things could change.
Its tough, but these are things you have to deal with when you share your life with someone else.
#173210 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
good video converters from mkv to wmv? it doesnt matter if it costs (we can get it for free wink wink) but it has to be as lossless as possible
#173209 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
what decides how dark blue our text is?
#173228 to #173209 - minutes (01/31/2015) [-]
The older your account - the darker your blue.
User avatar #173206 - tsoper (01/31/2015) [-]
So apperiantly i lost all my attractions to girls and now im mentally fucked up.

The only girl im really focused on fucking is my sister and she doesnt feel the same about me, sadly. Hopefully that will change when her hormones kick in or when her period makes her vulnerable.

Im a pretty fit guy, workout a lot and stuff, most girls would consider me attractive, or at least semi-average attractive.

I dont wanna fuck other girls, unless theyre 12-15 petite with a slim body/pretty face and innocent. Innocence is sexy. My sister matches that description so i dont think i can find any better than her. Which is why im so into my sister.

Best advice is to ignore bitches completely, tell my sis im into her, wait for her to come to me when she gets really horny or has dreams about us having sex.

As of today i will strive primarily on improving my physical body. Maybe a job on the side.

Tired of not getting what i want. Tired of working for what i want. And tired of being unhappy with life. Fuck your depression shit. As of today, im re-prioritizing my priorities.

Onwards, faggots.
#173300 to #173206 - paintskillz (13 hours ago) [-]
why dont you take a seat right over there
why dont you take a seat right over there
User avatar #173246 to #173206 - marinepenguin ONLINE (23 hours ago) [-]
Well...... Good luck with that I guess.
User avatar #173207 to #173206 - makotoitou ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
Good luck with that I guess. I mean I'm judging a bit, but you got your shit together so yeah.
User avatar #173200 - gypsydude (01/31/2015) [-]
I think it's time I actually use my psychology education to help, and I want to help out my family. I'm a loner and I find you lovely cunts as a family I never had. So I want to help. If anyone needs to talk just PM me and I'll be there for you. Just hang in there. You all are wonderful.
User avatar #173231 to #173200 - iridium (01/31/2015) [-]
>my psychology education

Hah. We talking actual experience here or all scholastic stuff?
User avatar #173250 to #173231 - gypsydude (22 hours ago) [-]
Currently doing an internship at a mental hospital, so some experience. Sadly I'm not a real professional. And yeah I only deal help the main psychologist with cases and uselessly they are severe cases and not advice things on here like " this chick I have a crush on"...
#173202 to #173200 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
Could i enforce a no fap february on myself using physical self harm as a motivation?
User avatar #173204 to #173202 - gypsydude (01/31/2015) [-]
If you plan on using glue, then yes.
User avatar #173283 to #173204 - iridium (18 hours ago) [-]
Ignore dehumanizer, he's this board's phanact.
#173325 to #173283 - dehumanizer (10 hours ago) [-]
ignore my dick going in you mom's ass
User avatar #173338 to #173325 - iridium (9 hours ago) [-]
Good luck finding her ashes in the Pacific Ocean.
#173341 to #173338 - dehumanizer (8 hours ago) [-]
cool story bro
cool story bro
#173205 to #173204 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
I plan to hurt myself every time i think of spanking the monkey or looking at women with unclean intent. That way i hope to completely kill my sexsuality by accosiating it with extreme pain instead of pleasure. Its totaly normal right?
User avatar #173251 to #173205 - gypsydude (22 hours ago) [-]
No this is not totally right. If you do really plan on stopping your habit you need to not hurt yourself, and rethink of a few things. You seem like a smart guy and I think you would agree that hurting yourself when you see a pretty women is not the wisest choice. It's normal for us as humans to feel a certain way towards a sex. And it seems like your use to rejection by women. And let me tell you so are many other people who too deal with that. You need to stay strong though, and think clear. Loneliness is a horrible thing and it is a thing I wish no person would have to deal with. If you could do me a favor, could you write 5 things that you love about yourself. I want to help you think more positively about yourself. I want you to re-love yourself with accepting all your greatness that is you.
#173253 to #173251 - dehumanizer (22 hours ago) [-]
its not the wises but its the most direct and practical, i want to destroy my lust and depravity

shit, whole 5? eh can you give me like an example? im not really teh most self loving guy, its the opposite, id take the stairs every time when there's an elevator, i play games on highest difficulty so i can proove to my self im hardcore, if i have a choice between doing some hard tedious task or get help and simplify the task i always do it by my self, etc. naturaly when i discovered lifting i liked it, always pushing myself more excersise, never good, i have to lift till they love me etc.
User avatar #173256 to #173253 - gypsydude (22 hours ago) [-]
Yeah sure, an example could be "I love my eyes." "I love my personality." " I love how I play on the highest difficulty on video games." Things like that. So you're a strong person, that's good to know. It's good to know that you are determined to do things. Now i wonder are you willing to transfer that desire to hurt yourself from sexual "unclean intent" and turn that into an activity. Lifting is a good start, and doing exercise is also a good choice of transferring those emotions. "I have to lift till they love me" What if I told you they already love you. You need to maybe just re-evaluate a few things. Is a girl the main issue for causing you to think this way? When did you start thinking this way? I hope you don't mind me asking these questions.
#173262 to #173256 - dehumanizer (21 hours ago) [-]
Love is kind of a taboo word for me.

Am I a strong person? Dont really know its kind of mixed. Thing.

See my downfall really started a few ago but its kind of a loong story, im a tough nut to crack.

Anyway see the comments on this page :
Note the date, most of them are from my 2013-14 new year's eve and mention my then problems and causes etc. There are also recent posts from 2014-15 new year's and the situation hasnt changed much but its not as bad.
User avatar #173215 to #173205 - dudeheit (01/31/2015) [-]
OR you could spend your time wisely and dunno ... study, go to the gym, practice an instrument, make yourself a nice meal, cure cancer, fly to the moon, typical stuff
#173224 to #173215 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
none of those things would solve my problem
User avatar #173236 to #173224 - dudeheit (01/31/2015) [-]
but why should hurting yourself do so?
#173237 to #173236 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
>hurt myself when i think about pritty women
>associate pritty women with pain
>no longer be attracted to anyone
>no longer have a sexsuality
>no more >tfw no gf
>no more lonelines
>no more sorrow
>no more rejections
User avatar #173238 to #173237 - dudeheit (01/31/2015) [-]
but instead on focusing on hurting yourself you could improve your life-style and find desire in more things than women.
you can't define who you are by having a gf or how many times you have slept with girls, nobody is going to honor that. don't make your happines bounded to a person, but to yourself.
#173239 to #173238 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
but im lonely
but im lonely
User avatar #173241 to #173239 - dudeheit (23 hours ago) [-]
I'm too and very often and i know it's shitty but you can't let yourself down all the time. You can bathe in self-pitty or stand up and do something about it but If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always gotten.

#173243 to #173241 - dehumanizer (23 hours ago) [-]
>stand up and do something
User avatar #173201 to #173200 - tsoper (01/31/2015) [-]
Do what i do and randomly send online users instant messages. It beats omegle
User avatar #173199 - datblkkid (01/31/2015) [-]
ok...silly question but for some reason when I click "Next" or when I press the right arrow key on my keyboard FJ brings me to the same post over and over again.
I'm not sure if it's because of my browser or what but is there a way to fix it without uninstalling then reinstalling my browser?
User avatar #173248 to #173199 - sineztro (23 hours ago) [-]
try using a different bowser maybe that'll help
User avatar #173187 - ScottP (01/31/2015) [-]
It's always a good idea to ask a girl out in person, right? If so, then does that mean I made the right choice in asking this girl to dinner? She seemed to like the idea as it will give us a chance to "catch up".
User avatar #173190 to #173187 - tikitaco (01/31/2015) [-]
Definitely ask her out in person. If you're thinking of taking her to a movie as well as dinner, make sure you hit the movie first then dinner. So you have stuff to talk about of course. Good luck!
User avatar #173191 to #173190 - ScottP (01/31/2015) [-]
Well the thing we're going on thursday isn't a date, as far as I'm aware, but I'm not really sure what it is either. She said it'll be a "great chance for us to catch up", but I think we haven't seen each other for only about 2 months.
User avatar #173192 to #173191 - tikitaco (01/31/2015) [-]
She might actually want to just to catch up as friends. Don't over analyze it and wait till you see her in person to riff how your dinner is going to tell whether it's a date or not.
User avatar #173193 to #173192 - ScottP (01/31/2015) [-]
Oh yeah definitely. I've learned to not overanalyze things
#173182 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
I have a problem that even when people I know or used to know ask me to do something with them I immediately respond and say yes. The thing I hate is they won't talk to me for months on end but when everyone else they know is doing something else they ask me. It's like I'm the booty call of friends or some shit. They'll text me and I'll grab my phone and respond then 30 minutes to a week later they will say something back. I have such an overwhelming need to be included in something or have people want to do something with me that I hate myself for it. I wish I could just ignore them like they do me but I just get too depressed about it. Tonight my recently acquired girlfriend posted online that she wants to do something tonight but didn't ask me about it. I tasked her about it and she said she wanted to party. I don't do drugs or drink so I guess she was just doing it for my benefit but I dunno. Then after she couldn't find anything to get into she texted me and said we should do something. I wanted to say "oh yea after your party plans didn't go like you wanted" but instead I said "like what?". its now 3 hours later and nothing. Man when I get depressed I turn into that little bitch kind of depressed, I get moody, don't eat, pout, and finally post about it online. Really I just wanted to say this since I don't have people to talk to about it.
User avatar #173186 to #173182 - braveblue (01/31/2015) [-]
You are a push over. You need to think about your True self before you start thinking about your friends. You need to stop being a doormat, welcoming everyone in and letting them do what ever they want. You need to take control.

What you are right now is a push over. I used to be like you but then I finally realized that mostly everyone is selfish and only out for themselves. Sure you can be someone who helps out others but you really need to watch out for yourself and stop being a dog that obeys on the first command. It's true that you may need people more than they need you but you need to grow out of that. Its not good to rely on others you need to find friends that actually respect you and like you, your current friends seem to treat you like an extra. You need friends that will be actively responding to you, maybe someone as equally needy as you so you never feel un-needed.

I guess what i'm trying to say is that you need to change or shit will just get worse for you. Being a booty call isn't a way to live for a person like you. You need people that will actually respond to you although I might be wrong as I currently have a headache and i'm not really thinking too straight so bare with me. Just think about it though, you really need to start being more independent is what i'm thinking. Good friends will be there for you most of the time. Best friends even more than good friends.

Sounds like your girlfriend thinks your boring lol. I think you might want to look for another one but hey if you like her and she really likes you back w/e. I just don't see it lasting for a long time from what it sounds like. She's your girlfriend but shes not entitled to only you but still she should have asked you as well if you wanted to 'party' with her.
#173189 to #173186 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
Calling someone a dog and a pushover doesn't always fucking help. It'll probably just piss them off even more.
User avatar #173185 to #173182 - tikitaco (01/31/2015) [-]
You have to instigate that you want to do things and be active. The more cool things you do, the more people will want to be included in your activities. Instead of "like what?" you could have said something like "how about we watch a movie or something?". You know, like you have to plan your own events and people will want to hang out with you.
#173183 to #173182 - anonymous (01/31/2015) [-]
Maybe its because this tells me that I need people more than they need me
#173180 - gmanofwonder (01/31/2015) [-]
So, this is my dilemma.

I'm an 18 year old guy in high school, senior year. I'm in Maine and have decided that since this girl I've been seeing is pretty much waiting for some guy to lay her then rid of me, I've really wanted to get back into dating.

This sounds really sad, and it is. I'm not the most amazing guy but is there anyone out there willing to give me advice on a daily basis when it comes to dating again? I really could use someone to talk to that isn't someone I know personally because the people I might wanna date they know, so it'd be bias.

I just want honest opinions from someone. Guy or girl, anything. Please let me know if you're willing to do this for me. It'd be the world to hear some advice when I need it.

So, beside that... I just watched Pulp Fiction and wanna watch a similarly good movie. Anyone got any ideas?

The pic is my cat that I used my old pajamas that ripped to make him a coat. It was the winter time, poor kitty.

So I guess it's slightly related.
#173229 to #173180 - minutes (01/31/2015) [-]
Dating is mostly about luck.
The only thing you can really do is improve your chances of finding someone who actually fits you.
Be the best yourself you can be. Do sports, have a passion in something, learn whatever floats your boat. The more interesting you get, the better your chances. Put yourself out there, try to just have fun at partys without thinking about getting laid and stuff like that. Just enjoy yourself and you'll get to know new people, new friends. Leave your comfort zone once in a while, do absolutely new and exciting stuff.
You did it at least once afterall, so why shouldn't you be able to do it again?
User avatar #173188 to #173180 - tikitaco (01/31/2015) [-]
Hey kiddo, first off ditch the bitch because clearly from the situation you've described, you're on the edge of a cliff but not ready to jump. Just jump already.
Second, If you're thinking about getting back in the dating game, you need to improve that confidence, and as well begin improving on yourself, and treat yourself like a project that's always improving. When you think you're ready, just directly approach the person you want to date and ask them honestly.
Lastly, If you haven't seen the big lebowski that's a movie I'd recommend, it's a very good watch. Cute cat my the way, he doesn't seem to be a fan of the coat. It might be interrupting his purrfection
#173179 - gmanofwonder has deleted their comment [-]
#173178 - gmanofwonder has deleted their comment [-]
#173165 - anonymous (01/30/2015) [-]
hey guys. My boyfriend is shy and he never makes the first move, I always have to initiate sex... how do I get him to come on to me sometimes?
#173203 to #173165 - dehumanizer (01/31/2015) [-]
lose some weight you fat sack of shit
User avatar #173173 to #173165 - fffffffuuuuuuuuuuu ONLINE (01/31/2015) [-]
Be direct. Bluntly direct.
User avatar #173159 - istrollid ONLINE (01/30/2015) [-]
join the stoner board
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