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User avatar #198782 - napkinlover (10/07/2015) [-]
Ok guys real talk
Ive been on this website for so long and I just entered college. I'm in the city and there is alot of opportunity for me. I want to start doing stand up but I'm to chicken shit. But if i ever do, and if i get a video of it, would people watch it on here? Like would people feel good seeing a real person from fj on stage or would they not care and go into it with a bad attitude because its a video.
User avatar #198845 to #198782 - spaceking (10/08/2015) [-]
I think people would really enjoy it (I would), FJ loves to see one of its members demonstrating a talent.
Just be prepared for criticism, constructive or otherwise. This is still the internet, after all.
User avatar #198830 to #198782 - thedudeistheman (10/08/2015) [-]
I would watch it.
#198787 to #198782 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
if it's funny and the video is good quality
User avatar #198783 to #198782 - GothicChi (10/07/2015) [-]
Personally i'd love to see it, even better knowing its a funnyjunker
User avatar #198776 - ishallsmiteyou (10/07/2015) [-]
Guy made false allegations of me uttering threats. He has literally no evidence I did, I have large amounts of evidence showing I didn't (mostly the fact that about 7 people were present and are advocating for me). But here's where I need the advice: The guy is a total cunt. Everyone wants him gone, including me. He's an arrogant bastard who thinks he's the centre of the world when everyone wants him gone. I know his parents have money, and a lot of it. How can I get a little manual karma on this fucker?
User avatar #198777 to #198776 - ishallsmiteyou (10/07/2015) [-]
Note: I live in Ontario.
#198788 to #198777 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
record him doing something. set up a trap.
User avatar #198768 - itssakamoto (10/07/2015) [-]
I accidentally clicked "remove this user's comments forever" instead of "unblock". How fix?
#198794 to #198768 - joshlol (10/07/2015) [-]
if chrome
-ctrl + shift + c
-delete the one called hideCommentsCompletely
User avatar #198856 to #198794 - itssakamoto (19 hours ago) [-]
Am on home and everything is fixed, dear loner joshlol
User avatar #198795 to #198794 - joshlol (10/07/2015) [-]
>>#198771, >>#198770,
nvm I didn't notice addy added a button to fix
User avatar #198770 to #198768 - thedudeistheman (10/07/2015) [-]
Should be something near the top of the comments section/board that says "Disable completely hiding comments" or something like that.
User avatar #198771 to #198770 - itssakamoto (10/07/2015) [-]
I don't see
User avatar #198772 to #198771 - thedudeistheman (10/07/2015) [-]

Well that was my best guess. I remember seeing something like that.
User avatar #198773 to #198772 - itssakamoto (10/07/2015) [-]
Ty I found it
#198764 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
how get gf
User avatar #198809 to #198764 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Find a girl.

Then talk to the girl.
User avatar #198781 to #198764 - dreygur (10/07/2015) [-]
don't be jerk
User avatar #198775 to #198764 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
ask nicely
#198789 to #198775 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
be my gf please
#198799 to #198789 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
ur autistic
User avatar #198761 - silverzepher (10/07/2015) [-]
User avatar #198779 to #198761 - silverzepher (10/07/2015) [-]
Advice you still exist ol buddy ol pal?
#198755 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
writing a 5 page rhetorical analysis.

any tips? Mines a topic on gun control btw against gun control
User avatar #198758 to #198755 - dreygur (10/07/2015) [-]
Shit son, are you bringing politics here?
#198760 to #198758 - lgninjaleetful has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #198747 - superchrischan (10/07/2015) [-]
How do I make a girl cry with my words?
User avatar #198810 to #198747 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Date her, be a perfect guy, once she basically worships you, in some fashion, tell her how you love her, and how much you mean to her, not always in the direct sense. Something like telling her you need her in your life. If she's emotional enough, she could tear up.
User avatar #198762 to #198747 - icefried (10/07/2015) [-]
kick her in the balls
User avatar #198763 to #198762 - icefried (10/07/2015) [-]
oh wait didn't read the spoiler

Kick her in the balls verbally
#198754 to #198747 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
call her a normie
User avatar #198752 to #198747 - youngneil ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
Mention the abortions she's had. Works every time.
User avatar #198750 to #198747 - braveblue (10/07/2015) [-]
Tell her you love her.

User avatar #198748 to #198747 - charizarddad (10/07/2015) [-]
call her a cunt
#198864 to #198748 - anon (15 hours ago) [-]
Le master womaniser xDDD u will never see a vagina
User avatar #198738 - enlightednatzie (10/07/2015) [-]
I forgot to shower this morning so there is like dickcheese on my dick because i can feel it on the tip of my dick and its really annoying. Is there any smart tip out there about getting rid of dickcheese a non awkward way of cleaning my dick? I am sitting at school now and i need to be as discrete as possible.
User avatar #198769 to #198738 - itssakamoto (10/07/2015) [-]
Go to /autism/
User avatar #198774 to #198769 - enlightednatzie (10/07/2015) [-]
My dick is clean now btw
#198753 to #198738 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
for the love of god dont post here
User avatar #198734 - jellyman (10/07/2015) [-]
I'm not really looking for advice, I just want to share my thoughts since the social board is kinda dead and there's no other board to post.

I hate the summer. In Florida, especially the Miami/Fort Lauderdale area, it gets really humid, like 90 to even 100 degrees on it's worst days. It brings down my mood and my confidence, so it makes me feel more like shit when I have emotional problems. I feel less motivated, sadder, angrier, more stressed out. I feel less desire for things and I usually feel like absolute shit about myself.

This week or last week, fall just came in, and I absolutely love the fall season. It seems nicer, and somehow I feel better. I feel some sort of fuzzy feeling inside of me. I feel more hopeful and I feel less stressed out, happier, not as angry and not as sad. Even when I'm in a bad mood, there's something that blocks it out eventually. I listen to Mumford and Sons don't judge me, I fucking love that band and Twenty One Pilots and it gets stuck in my head and I start to feel a bit more euphoric, as if the chemicals in my brain are flowing more normal. Everything feels right, I feel that everything will be fine, I feel that I'll have a better chance of finding love, or I'll do something that'll make me happy. It happens every year and I don't know why, but I do know that it feels really nice and I love it. Maybe the weather is altering my mind, and the humidity from summer fucked it up.
User avatar #198806 to #198734 - jettom ONLINE (10/08/2015) [-]
Backroom is still alive. I recommend going there! /backroom/
User avatar #198841 to #198806 - jellyman (10/08/2015) [-]
Damn I forgot about that place. How do you even get there?
User avatar #198844 to #198841 - jettom ONLINE (10/08/2015) [-]
press my link.
Alternatively just write funnyjunk .com/backroom
User avatar #198739 to #198734 - enlightednatzie (10/07/2015) [-]
Huh feel the same and i live in sweden. The summers here are warm as shit and i just get lazy as hell. The only nice thing about summer is that you can barbeque and drink a nice cold beer, maybe two, three or eight. Summer is the time when you're just supposed to relax, i think its gods way to reward you of four months hardworking winter.
User avatar #198736 to #198734 - pokemonstheshiz (10/07/2015) [-]
I live there too. Fall is the shit, I love wearing sweaters
User avatar #198735 to #198734 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
I'd try not to think about it too much and just enjoy it! I love fall myself too, spend much more time outside during fall than during summer (I just love the colours, smells, and weather).
Recently I've moved to a place where it gets much hotter during summer than I am used to and it makes me completely incapable of doing anything. I had to teach myself to get up earlier, do stuff in the morning, and then after spending the afternoon inside next to my fan, then doing stuff in the evening. I guess most people in hot countries live like that, though I did not enjoy it really!
User avatar #198728 - fukatron (10/07/2015) [-]
Guys, I have a weird dilemma and need some guidance or advice from someone who already went through college. Does wanting to change your major actually have an impact on what your financial situation looks like through your college life?
Right now i'm studying to be an engineering major but after 2-3 classes and the stress i've been getting from it financially i'm starting to feel like i might've chosen the wrong major..
I'm very happy doing math and crunching numbers, and i've always enjoyed tinkering with electronics and mechanical stuff but actually taking the classes and everything for engineering so far just feels like a waste and not really important to me..
I don't really know what to do at this point other than drag on and do homework while working...
User avatar #198732 to #198728 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
So I cannot help really with the US college system and how that will effect your college life, but having been through uni myself I can say that a lof the courses that you do, even though they are really useful and necessary, are a lot more boring than the actual job you might get.
So if possible, I'd advice you to look around at the jobs you might get or want with your engineering degree and see if you enjoy that kind of work. Often if you email someone from a company they're happy to give you a tour! And then just talk with some people there, ask what they do, ask what they like most about their jobs and see if you enjoy that. If that looks cool, stick around doing the boring major and focus on your future!
#198722 - hardstylehobo has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #198725 to #198722 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
yeah you can always PM me if you want
#198720 - Natelawl (10/07/2015) [-]
Click to show spoiler
I was gonna ramble about crybaby stuff about my recent life but it was a lot.

I was happy. I'm not happy anymore. I put on this persona of positivity at work for the best "customer service" and tell people I'm always positive just for social boasting. I'm not as productive as I was months ago. I feel like a change would help but nothing super major. What can I do to keep a fresh positive mind?
User avatar #198812 to #198720 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Sounds like you need to get something out of your system.
User avatar #198726 to #198720 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
get a new hobby, go out to a place you haven't been before, plan yourself a cool holiday (which can be low budget, actually those sometimes are the most adventurous), think about what your childhood dreams were and try to make one of those come true. bringing some new elements in your life can sometimes be exactly the refreshment you need, and takes your mind off the bad stuff!
User avatar #198719 - advicedude (10/07/2015) [-]
Feeling like utter shit when all my ex and I needed were some time apart to fix things but I broke it off completely and I don't think we are going to get back together.
#198778 to #198719 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
Well aren't you a dick.
You've only got yourself to blame.
At this point all I can suggest is don't imagine another guy balls deep in her or fucking her face. That'll only make you feel a bit worse.
User avatar #198727 to #198719 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
it's probably for the better, it always sucks in the beginning even if you were the one to break it off. it gets better eventually though!
#198721 to #198719 - Natelawl (10/07/2015) [-]
all my ex and I needed were some time apart

You sure that's what you needed? Definite for sure sure?
User avatar #198723 to #198721 - advicedude (10/07/2015) [-]
Yes, we were around eachother nearly 24/7 and started to get more and more irritable. Just needed a day for ourselves.
User avatar #198718 - kokanum (10/07/2015) [-]
I have tons of personal problems but nobody to trust.
User avatar #198813 to #198718 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Same, isn't that why you're here? Being anonymous on the internet makes it so you don't have to trust anybody and still get a lot of the benefits

In a way I always find a kind of "relief" or "pleasure" when I realize that I cannot trust anybody in my life. I don't know why.
User avatar #198710 - joshlol (10/07/2015) [-]
Is it normal to be reduced to tears every time you try to sleep?
User avatar #198814 to #198710 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Is their something on your mind when you go to sleep? Like every time?
User avatar #198822 to #198820 - severepwner (10/08/2015) [-]
Well if you're crying was spontaneous then it would not be normal.

Here's my conclusion. Your mind is occupied by your activity all day, but once you go to bed, your mind isn't kept busy anymore, and it drifts to thinking about things that make you depressed.

So in conclusion, it's not abnormal, but obviously you have current issues that you may have to deal with in some fashion before that goes away.

If you have further...questions? Besides your original, feel free to ask.
User avatar #198740 to #198710 - enlightednatzie (10/07/2015) [-]
Ask yourself what jesus would've done. Educate yourself to be an electrician like i do. Everyone needs a handyman and the salary is good as fuck yo.
User avatar #198711 to #198710 - confusedasian (10/07/2015) [-]
You mean crying? Like actually "WAAH WAH WAH"? Or your eyes just get watery? Because my eyes get watery. It's normal.
User avatar #198717 to #198713 - confusedasian (10/07/2015) [-]
Stop being sad at night.

I listen to music while I sleep. Otherwise my mind is free to think of whatever. And I usually think of death and blank nothingness that comes after it while finding the meaning of why I was given life if I'm so unhappy that everything will disappear forever and I can't do anything to stop it. So the music helps keep my mind busy.
#198703 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
Lewd post about myself, more or less a problem. There is a girl at work and she has given me her nudes and what not. She wants "private" lessons on how to give better blowjobs and handjobs and stuff. She is apparently a virgin, but I unno. I feel like she could be. Anyway, she did all this stuff in one night and shit. Next day we aren't really talking and now she hasn't responded to my texts. Anyone have any idea what might be going on? I could talk to her about it at work, but I feel if she is upset or awkward about it now then it might be a bad idea. Especially since I'm her supervisor.
User avatar #198733 to #198703 - yibdiy ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
share nudes
User avatar #198712 to #198703 - confusedasian (10/07/2015) [-]
>Especially since I'm her supervisor.

I feel like she wanted something from you.
User avatar #198714 to #198712 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
I don't really think it's that way. Cause if it was she would still be talking to me.
#198715 to #198714 - confusedasian (10/07/2015) [-]
Maybe what she wanted was the dick, and when she got it, she wasn't satisfied with it.
#198716 to #198715 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
I haven't given her nudes. I haven't done anything with her like that yet.
#198708 to #198703 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
>She is apparently a virgin
#198709 to #198708 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
dunno. She said she only does BJ's and stuff. 5 guys in 5 months she said. She just got out of a FWB dealio. So I'm hoping I can take that place.

She was asking me how to give good blowjobs and stuff tho.
User avatar #198704 to #198703 - misticalz (10/07/2015) [-]
Don't talk to her about it at work. Why would you want to make someone uncomfortable.
Also, a lot of people feel sexual, and desperate at night time when theyre alone, maybe she was feelin sexual, but now she doesn't feel that way in the morning, or after she cums. Just leave it alone tbh
#198705 to #198704 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
Yeah maybe. I was considering giving it like... friday. If she doesn't message me by then I'll ask if everything is k? or something. If she doesn't respond I'll leave her alone.

The thing is this happened before with her. We texted a shit load. Mind you it wasn't dirty like it is now. Then she just sorta stopped. I unno.
User avatar #198706 to #198705 - misticalz (10/07/2015) [-]
oh okay
good idea
User avatar #198702 - jaytothadee ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]
Ok so rant time And you dont have to answer me but I just need to put this out somewhere
First off my mom is dying. she has ms and we cant get her diagnosed so people try to treat it with "alternative medicines" Over time these medicines made her get addicted to them and the doctors realized this. now my mom is addicted to over 30 different types of drugs and when she trys to get off them she gets put back on them. Now she is starting to think that the doctors dont know shit and she is yelling at them so they are sending her to a hospital in denver and they are going to milk the shit out of our insurance and fuck us over till she dies.
Second off: on these drugs she is very truthful and last year exactly a year and 2 months ago she said that the doctors said she has 10 years to live. Me being the hormonal teenager I am started to difference myself and her. Now I cant stand hanging out with my family longer than an hour max and as im away I hate myself for it.
Reason 3:
My step dad got back from Iraq a few years back and has never been the same since. He yells all the time. refuses therapy and is an over all jackass. the only time he talks to me is when he needs something or when i beg him for advice.
reason 4: the girl I love doesnt love me back. well she Might I cant figure it out. Apparently she has a history of fucking with peoples emotions. It doesnt even matter if I can date her because her parents are insane pshycopaths along with everyone else in her family.
reason 5: the only girl I ever came close to feeling close to I grew up with from second grade and we dated from third to 7th well I dumped her because her mother was psychotic and I couldnt tell her that. I still feel for her but it doesnt matter because she swore me off and wont talk to me ever again.
Reason 6: I love my friends and they love me but I do this thing ever since i was little since my parents got divorced that I push myself away untill eventually I leave the school. I like these friends but subconciouslly im doing it again and im freaking out.
Reason 7 The girl I love is fucked over because of me and I have to see her every day suffering and I know its because of me.
Reason 8: I hold everything in untill I eventually break down. Thus happening now. But due to recent events I dont have anyone to talk to to stop me from doing anything stupid such as getting high and doing stupid things as most edgy teenagers do.
Reason 9: Im a dissapointment everything I do crashes and fails and I cant keep anything right.
reason ten: the girl I love Ive been a jerk to in an effort to try and desert my feelings for her but every day I see her She works by the water fountain so i get a drink every now and then I try and treat her like shit but it doesnt work. whenever I think about my feelings I think about my ex and how I felt about her but I can never be with her shoving me into the pit of going back after the girl I love
Reason 11: I cant get any of my pills beause the pharmacy that dispenses them has pretty much banned my mother because of the "substance abuse" I have imbalanced chemicals in my brain and I freak out with out them. its been about a month since I last had them and I dont know what to do ):

so theres my dillema Have fun with it you dont have to try and solve it but I had to get it out. Thanks (:
User avatar #198729 to #198702 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
so of course I cannot say exactly in every situation 'what you should do' but I can try to give you some general advice that hopefully might make you feel a little better.

I'm very very sorry to hear about your mother, I cannot imagine how horrible that must be to see her in pain and knowing that her years are limited (though she still has quite some years left, and they get better at treatments all the time, so I would definitely try to make the best out of it and not think about it all the time!)
However, you are your own person outside of your parents and you have your own life. I know this is difficult to realize when you still live in their house, but if you have a bad relationship with your father or mother you can still focus on yourself and making yourself a better person. You cannot force your mother to stop taking alternative medication, you cannot force your stepfather to go to therapy, it makes you feel helpless but it's their lives and how they choose to life. It is out of your control, so sometimes it's better to let it be.

Now it's confusing to know which girl is which in your story, but the only thing I can say in most of their situations is that it helps to just tell them how you honestly feel. Rather than feeling bad afterwards, or treating them like shit, just tell them what is going on and how you feel. Not even for the purpose to make them feel better about it (that depends on whether they will want to listen to you and understand you), but you might be at peace once you've done so.

And if you cannot get to your medication at the moment, just be sure to take good care of yourself. Find out what makes you feel bad, what sets you off, and avoid that at times (I know that avoiding your problems isn't always the best thing or possible, but at least be careful in those situations), and find out what makes you feel better and focus on that.

Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!
#198701 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
is it weird that I don't actually want a girlfriend?

nothing to do with me thinking "pssh girls are all bitches anyway" because one turned me down but it's more of just realizing its not going to happen and I'm good enough of a person for someone. saves me and saves the other person time, effort, money and feelings.
User avatar #198730 to #198701 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
no, I don't think it is and sometimes when you stop looking for it in all places, it might come to you when you least expect it. just be open for happiness and new things, but it's not bad to be happy with yourself!
#198756 to #198730 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
its not that it'll make me any happier, its just one less thing for me to care about.

"and I'm not good enough of a person for someone." is what that was meant to say
User avatar #198757 to #198756 - schurftinator (10/07/2015) [-]
what do you really want to hear, that it's ok not wanting to have a relationship, or that you should work on your self image?

because in the case there are indeed things about yourself you do not like, you can always improve yourself. it might be hard work, but it is not impossible.
#198785 to #198757 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
I know what I don't want but I don't know what I do want.
User avatar #198707 to #198701 - notred ONLINE (10/07/2015) [-]

It's weird. I understand your thoughts, but yet it's still weird.
User avatar #198698 - donnybergerstory (10/07/2015) [-]
Any advice on how to get a kickstarter funded faster? just made one and got $509 in total, need 16k.
#198700 to #198698 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
what's your idea?
User avatar #198742 to #198700 - donnybergerstory (10/07/2015) [-]
I work for an app company and we want to release our app for android.

#198694 - anon (10/07/2015) [-]
how do i fight his great deal of depression? therapist never truly help me over the years. I know i should live for myself, but i dont have the drive. I do keep going, but im always thinking to what end. And i never feel satisfied when i accomplish anything.

Going to college right now and all, doing fine in life, but never really had friends, and i just wish i had some reason to live.
User avatar #198697 to #198694 - donnybergerstory (10/07/2015) [-]

nothing will change unless you change. change your attitude about your job, your life, whatever it is. Stop thinking of things as a priority and think of them as an opportunity. I have learned a lot about people, and a lot about life this past year. I was depressed and shit, but that all went away after I watched that video everyday. I listened to it on my iPod everyday at least once for 7 months straight. Motivational speeches are a great resource for, well, motivation and changing your mindset.

This is also a great one too, one of my favorites. www.youtube.com/watch?v=KlUMrzwmbyo

Try working out. Also, friends are quite easy to achieve.
Just talk to people man, be open, be social, it's hard for some people but in reality it isn't as hard as you'd think man. I'm a very social person, so it's easy for me. Just ask someone in your class about the homework, or ask "bro do u understand this shit", that's always a great starter, honestly.

It will get better also. If you really are doing so good in college, then believe me, you have a great life ahead, so don't feel bad. Maybe this is life telling you to focus on you and your life, set some goals and achieve them.
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