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Latest users (3): magicjesuscf, thedirtybee, zarnvendk, anonymous(21).
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User avatar #182636 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (56 minutes ago) [-]
Is it weird that all my roommate and his girlfriend is sleep together? Like literally, not in the sexual sense, but just sleep. She comes, they go on the futon, and they just sleep together. It's really fucking awkward for me. When they do talk, it's usually only flirting - nothing meaningful. Like, what the fuck. Is this weird, or is it just me?? I asked multiple friends and they say it's NOT weird, but it really fucking is.
User avatar #182640 to #182636 - thedirtybee ONLINE (7 minutes ago) [-]
well end of the day mate it's their relationship so just let them be and as you said if only two weeks left then just sit through it
#182637 to #182636 - zarnvendk has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #182638 to #182637 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (39 minutes ago) [-]
Not MY girlfriend, it's my roommate's girlfriend. It makes things awkward with me though. I'm just dealing with it since I only have 2 more weeks of school and she's probably not going to visit again
User avatar #182639 to #182638 - zarnvendk (37 minutes ago) [-]
i'm retarded apparently, in that case it's really not that weird, just roll with it.
User avatar #182627 - shinyscizor (2 hours ago) [-]
Whats the best antivirus software out there?
User avatar #182634 to #182627 - dasistwunderbar ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
I use AVG, it's free, and I haven't had any problems with it.
User avatar #182610 - iliekcereal (4 hours ago) [-]
My girlfriend is a lot more sexual than I am. I like sex, but I don't want to be reminded upwards of once a day how horny she is. I also don't really feel comfortable with her kissing my neck, touching my butt, talking dirty, etc in public. I'm afraid she'll get offended if I ask her to stop. What do?
User avatar #182615 to #182610 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
Just be honest with her, otherwise it will eventually harm your relationship.
Try and put relationships into friendship terms to get answers, for instance, if a friend was messaging you a lot asking you to play games and in public did the same when you were trying to talk about something else, you would tell them to stop straight up.
#182609 - fefe (5 hours ago) [-]
My computer is getting pop-ups constantly. i need some kind of ad-blocker or somthing to help with that, suggestions? something free ( i have no $ )
User avatar #182614 to #182609 - youngneil (3 hours ago) [-]
Check for adware, and then install AdBlock Plus.
User avatar #182612 to #182609 - serhiy (3 hours ago) [-]
check for adware
#182608 - fefe (5 hours ago) [-]
I think my cat wants to kill me
User avatar #182613 to #182608 - youngneil (3 hours ago) [-]
That cat looks like some sort of Ewok-Owl crossbreed abomination.
User avatar #182635 to #182613 - titsmccracken (1 hour ago) [-]
No, pretty sure he just fed it after midnight.
User avatar #182601 - ilikethisusername (7 hours ago) [-]
I need advice on a story I'm writing.

How can I improve my grammar?

“Error: connection lost to system interface.” That’s all it said for Alex as he tried his best to get back control of his vessel as it started to dive into the atmosphere of Thrace.

The planet, Thrace, was ten times bigger than Earth itself. Earth was the mother planet that gave birth to humanity a long time ago, but we abandoned her as she turned on her own children. But Thrace wasn’t inhabitable as Earth was. Thrace was just another exoplanet in a different solar system than Earth. Thrace was covered gray raging skies with a devious storm blanketing the atmosphere. Thrace has a hole in it. Like an eye, watching out for the empty dark space. The eye swirled, snatching the clouds and twirling them into a circle.

Alex knew there was no point in communicating with the radio, since the radio frequencies to the mother ship, Gaius would be interrupted by the thunderous skies.

Alex desperately tried holding on to the steering handle that would not stop shaking vigorously. As he tried to take over control of the stubborn vessel, it acknowledged his commands by showing off a spark between the handle and the joint. The vessel shook and threw Alex violently across the platform on his side.

The vessel cracked through the roaring clouds with flames blazing all over it.
User avatar #182603 to #182601 - sugoi (5 hours ago) [-]
I just don't like your writing, here's how I would write it.
"Error: connection to system interface interrupted." Blared through the speakers as Alex tried to wrestle back control of his vessel as it began it's dive into the atmosphere of Thrace.

The planet below, was ten times bigger than Earth, the mother of humanity. We abandoned her when she finally took back what was hers. Thrace was nothing special, just another exoplanet in another system, a gloomy planet with grey skies and constant storms, one storm in particular had raged on for centuries and has been called "the eye" by other spacers.

Calling for assistance would have been futile at this point, the storm would interfere with the transmission.
His knuckles white from the strain, Alex tightened his grip and pulled harder as the entire vessel shuddered endlessly. Miraculously the ship finally responded to his will and leveled itself, hard, sending Alex careening across the platform on his side (what kinda cockpit has platforms? I can't picture what you're picturing).

Of course this only happened after the ship smashed through the thick storm cloads, cloaking it in sparks and fire.

I dunno, I feel like your writing isn't flowy, it's too static I guess?
It's very "Blah blah. Blah blah. Blah blah." instead of "Blah blah, blah blah blah blah, blah blah." You get what I mean? I tried to show it in my re-writing but whatevs, could just be a personally issue on my part.
User avatar #182604 to #182603 - ilikethisusername (5 hours ago) [-]
yeah i know what you're saying. i wasn't confident with this writing at all either. i wrote this way too quick and i had no transition words to think of whatsoever. not even that, i just couldn't "feel it" while writing this. i have another story in which i felt more confident but its too long to show. but thanks for your feedback and your honesty though, i really appreciate it.
User avatar #182605 to #182604 - sugoi (5 hours ago) [-]
I guess some concrete advice from me would be.
-Do not repeat words too early (Earth itself. Earth)
-Sentences need to be longer "But Thrace wasn't inhabitable should just be habitable as Earth was)."
-Less protagonist name if they are the only ones present in the current scene.

Other than that it's all up to you! Good luck with your writing!
User avatar #182606 to #182605 - ilikethisusername (5 hours ago) [-]
thanks man that was really helpful.
User avatar #182616 to #182606 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
It's all practice mayne, don't try too hard. My grandmother is an author and she often shares her writing tips with me, one she often says is just write everything down, just write and write and then edit. Get down what you need to, don't think does this sound okay etc. because that is when it starts to sound staticky. Let it flow naturally.
#182600 - ilikethisusername has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #182594 - hoponthefeelstrain (7 hours ago) [-]
My boyfriend has been extremely stressed lately, it's like his life is falling apart and I feel helpless in helping him. Any ideas on how I can just help him relax? We have guaranteed free time tomorrow and I just want to make it mean something. Please don't suggest sex/oral since that's already a given.
User avatar #182617 to #182594 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
Try and take him somewhere to do something relaxing, like a walk in the park or something. Sex can become a very limiting way of dealing with real issues, he sounds like he needs your ear, not your vag.
Try and take him somewhere relaxing and assure him he can forget all that is troubling him for a little while, and then try and help him rationalise and strategize how he feels. Try and come to some conclusions together.
User avatar #182602 to #182594 - nonbenderinlife (6 hours ago) [-]
Try to get him to talk to you about it, find out why he is so stressed. Also, sex would only fix that issue temporarily though its a great way to release tension/stress.
User avatar #182591 - iceguy (9 hours ago) [-]
hey guys, whats a good torrenting program for free?
User avatar #182619 to #182591 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
U torrent but a lot of torrents are being traced now so ready them proxies
#182582 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
So... theoretically if you had had sex with your sister and it was the most amazing sex you've ever had... how would you go about other women not being nearly as good after that?
User avatar #182586 to #182582 - alstorp (9 hours ago) [-]
Tell them all that your sister was better, that'll teach them.
#182589 to #182586 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
#182590 to #182584 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
I had sex with my sister and now I realise that I don't want any other woman. That's bad because duh.
User avatar #182593 to #182590 - nigalthornberry (8 hours ago) [-]
Its just because you haven't had any other
#182597 to #182593 - fefe (7 hours ago) [-]
But I have.
User avatar #182618 to #182597 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
How did you end up doing your sister?
#182571 - fefe (10 hours ago) [-]
I have a "choice" between two girls.

Girl number one
Very hot body
Known her for 6 years
Fucking 10/10 personality
Identical interests
Can definitely make her interested
Not 100% into me
Kind of asexual
Not even 50% into me

Girl number two
Really naughty
Cute as fuck
Adorable as fuck
100% into me
Pretty awkward
Average body
Extremely small tits
Pretty creepy with the sexual stuff occasionally
Basically no friends, her family doesn't even like her
Pretty boring

Which one?
User avatar #182607 to #182571 - sugoi (5 hours ago) [-]
Number 2
so u cn du deh wierd stff
User avatar #182583 to #182571 - womanexplain (9 hours ago) [-]
Neither girl sound right to be honest. If she's not interested, she's not right for obvious reasons, and the traits of girl two will lead to later issues.
#182585 to #182583 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
Well the thing is that the interest is there, she said it herself, it's just not like, nailed, you know? What issues do you think will ensue with girl two?
User avatar #182588 to #182585 - womanexplain (9 hours ago) [-]
Over attachment, you'll want girl one and think of girl one, girl two will notice and get mega jealous, it will get very messy and you'll never get with girl one or two because girl one will see you chose another girl and that you were chasing her whilst with her which is a poor quality. Girl one may be a little interested but if the interest isn't equal it won't go well, if she's kinda interested which she seems to be which in turn has excited you enough to have this confliction it won't be enough she will leave pretty quickly or you'll become distant Etc
Try and move forward with girl one but if the interest isn't there it isn't there I say this because you are compatible not because she's supposedly hotter
I can't be bothered with punctuation and all that good shit as it is 5am sorry
#182592 to #182588 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
Yeah that sounds pretty good. I think I'll do that. I'll undoubtedly go for two if all else fails. I might be desperate at this point, I don't know.
User avatar #182576 to #182571 - alstorp (9 hours ago) [-]
Number one. Don't be desperate.
#182579 to #182576 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
how would two be desperate?
User avatar #182580 to #182579 - alstorp (9 hours ago) [-]
Because those pros suck, looks like you only consider her an option because she likes you. I don't know how you're not seeing this.
User avatar #182575 to #182571 - confusedasian (9 hours ago) [-]
Girl number two. I prefer cute girls, plus she really likes you. Would feel kind of crappy if you went with the other girl since she is pretty loner status. You do think she's cute, so there's something there and it's not really a pity type of thing.
#182578 to #182575 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
yeah that's a big thing. number two has a veeery jealous nature and she'd just be destroyed if I went with someone else at this point. Not that we're like borderline married or anything she's just like that. So it would kinda be a pity thing I suppose. Which isn't good obviously.
User avatar #182587 to #182578 - confusedasian (9 hours ago) [-]
Don't do it if it's a pity thing.
#182568 - confusedasian (10 hours ago) [-]
Anyone have that one gif of the Tina Belcher cosplay doing the dance? Or do you have any dancing gifs in general? I have like 35 and want more.
Anyone have that one gif of the Tina Belcher cosplay doing the dance? Or do you have any dancing gifs in general? I have like 35 and want more.
#182595 to #182568 - hoponthefeelstrain (7 hours ago) [-]
seriously typed in "tina cosplay dance"
seriously typed in "tina cosplay dance"
User avatar #182563 - guidedhand (10 hours ago) [-]
Anyone feel like giving me travel tips? Heres a lonk to a onenote doc with a map of where im going
User avatar #182620 to #182564 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
I can't open this but I've travelled a lot, where are you going?
User avatar #182625 to #182620 - guidedhand (2 hours ago) [-]
also awesome profile background!
User avatar #182626 to #182625 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
Thank you!
User avatar #182624 to #182620 - guidedhand (2 hours ago) [-]
hmmm, annoying you cant see it but im pretty much doing all of Europe.
try this link?
I basically need ideas on where to go in Ireland, Spain, if Portugal is worth going to, some stuff to do in Switzerland, and where to stop off on my trip from Istanbul to Dubrovnik.
User avatar #182628 to #182624 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
As for where to stop off on your journey, get travel guides or look up things online, it'll be far quicker and more reliable than here. Use trip advisor to check out places you go to as well. As for Portugal, I would say that if you aren't going to Italy, I would go there instead. I highly recommend Florence, Rome and Venice, amongst othe places in Italy. As for drop off places between turkey and Croatia, I would recommend Greece, they have some fascinating museums in Athens. I would also recommend seeing the Parthenon. As for general tips in Europe, people emphasize etiquette, however many people in the countries you'll be going to (Spain etc) don't rely so heavily on that. You may find sometimes people are pretty abrasive actually, Europeans in the better off western countries (Germany, England, France) will require you to not speak too loudly and try to be genuinely polite. I say this because in my experience American tourists can speak very loudly and it can be disruptive.
As for Ireland, avoid the topic of religion, and some people living there hate the British so don't mention them either. To be honest you're not going anywhere with strict codes of etiquette so you can act pretty normal.
Don't eat seafood in dingy in land restaurants, try to avoid beggars and people do sometimes badger you on the street to buy things from them, don't be there tourist that gives in. Bring a spare pair of everything, two spare pairs of things like underwear. Try and keep an emergency stash of money in the sole of your boot or something so if you get robbed you have a way to get by until you can sort yourself out.
Take first aid supplies, bandages and anti bacterial creams. one thin you must always take with you when traveling is anti diarrhea pills. Your body is not used to another country's food, it's very likely you'll at some point get a tummy upset.
Basically, eat well, bring spare clothes, bring medical supplies, adapt to local etiquette, try new food where you can, and bring emergency money.
Look up everywhere you go too so you don't waste time.
User avatar #182631 to #182628 - guidedhand (1 hour ago) [-]
Awesome tips Know anywhere in particular in spain/portugal worth going to?
also im planning on going greece - Istanbul - south bulgaria - south serbia- debrovnik.

Do you know any particularly interesting places in bulgaria/serbia or should i try get a night train straight through them?
User avatar #182633 to #182631 - womanexplain (1 hour ago) [-]
I don't, however as I said look them up online, the information will be far more accurate, and you're welcome ^^
User avatar #182629 to #182628 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
Generally* sorry just woke up so I've made a ton of errors.
User avatar #182630 to #182629 - womanexplain (1 hour ago) [-]
And always overestimate how far by foot you'll be walking, better safe than sorry. Bring proper walking shoes that are also breathable because it's getting hotter in Europe and decent socks, bring blister pads too. You'll also want to think about chafing, even if you're skinny you can easily chafe in hot weather.
User avatar #182632 to #182630 - guidedhand (1 hour ago) [-]
Okay, THOSE are amassing tips
User avatar #182553 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (11 hours ago) [-]
Anyone know why my allergies are acting up right now (I live in indiana). They're the worst they've ever been and honestly I feel awful. THere's not even a lot of pollen out there, I don't know what's causing this, I know that I'm allergic to mold, ragweed, pollen, and cats/dogs but what's causing this?
User avatar #182611 to #182553 - iliekcereal (4 hours ago) [-]
I live in Indiana too. I typically have allergies, but they are significantly worse this year. I've never had to take allergy medicine before, but now I need to.
User avatar #182555 to #182553 - pillowhumper ONLINE (11 hours ago) [-]
are there any green vegetation where you live right now?
User avatar #182561 to #182560 - pillowhumper ONLINE (10 hours ago) [-]
then you can bet that there is pollen in the air
User avatar #182569 to #182561 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (10 hours ago) [-]
it's like never been this bad before though, it feels like i'm dying
#182573 to #182569 - pillowhumper ONLINE (10 hours ago) [-]
the allergy might have gotten worse, or you're reacting to more than one thing? my best advice is to go to the doctor if you can and see if there is any type of medication that may relieve your symptoms.
i have allergies too, i know how a swollen face and tight airways feels like, it's really unpleasant

if you can't go to the doctor, i recommend investing in an air cleaner. it might not be cheap, but if you put it in your room and change filters every so often you should have a grand old time in your room. just don't open the windows
User avatar #182552 - pillowhumper ONLINE (11 hours ago) [-]
any way to get rid of those shitty ads with sound without turning on adblock? i really hate them, but i don't hate admin
User avatar #182554 to #182552 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (11 hours ago) [-]
Admin disabled those ads, i don't know why you're getting them on funnyjunk if you are. I haven't.
User avatar #182556 to #182554 - pillowhumper ONLINE (11 hours ago) [-]
dude, 19/20 times i load a page i get those fucking ads with sound
User avatar #182559 to #182556 - WATCHAGUNADOBOUTIT (10 hours ago) [-]
huh, weird. I turned them on and i haven't gotten any of that
User avatar #182550 - thumbsdenied (11 hours ago) [-]
My upper jaws teeth are not closed, 4 of them are far apart and im alittle self concious about it. Can they be closed without braces?

User avatar #182596 to #182550 - hoponthefeelstrain (7 hours ago) [-]
you could get the invisible braces if that are clear and you on;y wear them at night.
#182562 to #182550 - confusedasian (10 hours ago) [-]
Not really. Unless you want to risk making your teeth loose by pushing them together little by little everyday. I have an underbite. I'm pretty boned.
Not really. Unless you want to risk making your teeth loose by pushing them together little by little everyday. I have an underbite. I'm pretty boned.
User avatar #182572 to #182562 - thumbsdenied (10 hours ago) [-]
That sucks, how do you eat when you have a underbite? like do your fangs on the upper jaw scrape your other teeth when chewing?
User avatar #182574 to #182572 - confusedasian (10 hours ago) [-]
Just fine. It's just my bottom jaw and teeth "jut" out more. It's not even that noticeable, but it feels "unnatural".
User avatar #182577 to #182574 - thumbsdenied (9 hours ago) [-]
Thats good then, Sure everybody has that one thing that feels unnatural on them. I got my large canines and long torso.
#182549 - fefe (11 hours ago) [-]
I've been drinking a shit ton of soda and energy drinks this year. I can feel my eyes and fingers becoming slightly number and number as the months pass. Does excessive sugar fuck with a person's eye sight? I really hope I don't got diabetes.
User avatar #182621 to #182549 - womanexplain (2 hours ago) [-]
Go see a doctor and try to lessen your sugar intake, try at least at first substituting the drinks you have for less sugary drinks. Try and look at the gs of sugar in the drinks you buy too, a substitute may be just adding sparkling water to a low sugar cordial (there will be one, parents demand that shit for their kids). Doesn't sound very appetizing, but high sugar intake can affect your heart and many other aspects of health in later life, just because you're not overweight doesn't mean that your body isn't going to get damaged.
#182598 to #182549 - fefe (7 hours ago) [-]
Yeah and you might wanna get checked for that homie
#182548 - spacesword has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #182534 - pesimism (14 hours ago) [-]
I just discovered you guys and I'm so glad I did. I always harbored breeding desires, I just never really explored them or discussed them with anyone. It was just my private fantasy that I would indulge in by myself.
For me, it started when I was a teenager. I would think about strange men breaking into my house and kidnapping me, and it would always turn me on. It kinda scared me because I didn't know what to make of it. Then I read a fantasy novel about a woman who ended up getting kidnapped by a crazy admirer who was dead set on impregnating her. He had used magic to restrain her for several weeks and would periodically visit her to fuck her, in hopes that she would have his baby.
And I realized the thought of a stranger forcibly cumming inside me while I was fertile made me really, really excited. After that, whenever I would masturbate, I couldn't help but imagine myself tied down by a man I didn't know, just enough so I couldn't move or drugged so I wouldn't be able to fight back. Even better if the man was someone I didn't really find attractive, so it would seem harder to enjoy. No foreplay, just right down to business. I felt the helplessness and fear as he forced himself inside me. I would cry and repeatedly tell him to stop. He would tell me to be quiet and push my face into the ground. His movements would be quick and hard, trying to finish fast so I wouldn't escape. I hear him grunting with each pump, his sweat dripping onto me. At first I would be disgusted and totally against it, but as he keeps going, it starts to feel really good. My heartbeat quickens and I can't help but feel myself starting to climax. "No, no.." I tell myself. I want to fight it, I don't want to want it, but he goes harder and faster and soon, as I feel him moan and his dick pulsing as he empties himself deep, deep inside me, fuck, I just cum so hard. I imagine my cervix as it happens, opening and contracting and just sucking in all the cum that's gushing forth. I've got my legs wrapped around him by now, and I'm pressing myself into him so I can get every last drop. I want it so bad, and at the same time, I feel dirty and ashamed.
Nothing has consistently turned me on the way this does. Just writing that made me really horny, but unfortunately, I don't know if I'll ever be able to tell my partner about it. I would feel so fucking weird and I don't want him to think I'm some kinda freak. I also don't really know if the fantasy would work for us, since I do find him attractive and having sex without BC really terrifies me because I never want children. We did it once, when I went off my pills and we were really horny. I told him to stop, but he managed to get himself in there for a bit before we came to our senses. It was pretty hot, though not as extreme as my fantasy. But I'm glad I have a place to share something like this now. If anyone has any similar fantasies, I would love to hear about them. Thanks for reading!
User avatar #182558 to #182534 - durkadurka (10 hours ago) [-]
That's actually not that weird at all. I remember hearing somewhere that it's the most common fantasy among women but I may be remember this incorrectly . Why do you think 50 Shades of Grey got so popular? All of those romance novels and such? There's definitely a biological component to the desire to be dominated.

The contradictory thing is that society is pushing the whole "She must enthusiastically say yes for every little thing" narrative. Just imagine being told that for most of your life while the reality is more like what you've divulged here. You're gonna get a ton of guys who've been completely misled and don't know otherwise.
#182581 to #182558 - fefe (9 hours ago) [-]
youre treading on really creepy ground here
#182541 to #182534 - womanexplain (14 hours ago) [-]
Well then...

Was that a sexual short story or advice? I'm so confused...
User avatar #182530 - muchname (15 hours ago) [-]
advice for learning songs on drums
stuff I like is Sabbath and Clutch, Metallica and Motorhead as well but they seem way too hard to learn right now
User avatar #182565 to #182530 - durkadurka (10 hours ago) [-]
The cliche: Practice, Practice, Practice.

But that's not saying you can't make it fun. What I used to do well still do, but not so often these days was to put in my headphones and try to play along with my music. It was basically the first thing I'd do when I got home from school and I played for anywhere from 30 minutes to an hour. I usually played on weekends as well, but that varied a lot. You're basically playing your favorite songs over and over again. This is like anything else in the sense that repetition will make you better.

So this adds up to around 3-6 hours of practicing a week. That might sound arduous but the thing is that it doesn't feel like practice. It's fun. And it's so much easier to do if you're enjoying it.

I don't think this is the most efficient or effective way to practice, but because it was fun for me I was able to stick with it for a long time (and still do). Sticking with it is by FAR the most important thing, however. If you came up with the most effective way to practice, but couldn't stick with it what good does it do you?

Depending on where you are skill level-wise and the difficulty of your music, this could take awhile. If you already have the basics down, I'd recommend starting with the hardest songs you can play mostly right and then slowly moving up to harder stuff.

If you have no or little experience, you need to get the basics down pat. This is going to be a tedious task and there's no way around it.
ACDC has really easy drum beats, so once you get the basics down I'd start there and move on to more difficult bands.

In terms of your music, I've only really played Metallica. It's actually not that hard to figure out. The hardest part would be learning double bass if you don't already know how.

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