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#176948 - shadowmaul ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
Oh board of Fj lend me some help and I will give you a green thumb i promise

i got a girlfriend recently and she has lived a VERY sheltered life i mean minimal television and practically no interenet

I on the other hand have been to the darkest places on the internet...like FJ

and I would like to bring her out but obviously i have to do it slowly

can someone tell me how i might go about corrupting this innocent girl to be a evil and perverted as i am?
User avatar #176955 to #176948 - unforgivenfive ONLINE (16 minutes ago) [-]
Don't.. Get off the internet and go read a book...eventually you'll get laid from your knowledge. plus anyone thats been on the "internet" for extended periods of time might as well be considered brain dead...and you dont want a brain dead girl friend do you

DO YOU Shadowmaul??!! no I didnt think so
User avatar #176957 to #176955 - shadowmaul ONLINE (15 minutes ago) [-]
but but...i read and im not dead brain
User avatar #176959 to #176957 - unforgivenfive ONLINE (12 minutes ago) [-]
only a zombie would say that... I'm watching you

JK bro dont worry about whether your girl is on the internet. cause eventually you leave and focus on growing positively and have a woman who's smart enough not to delve too deep into technology is almost perfect. but the main thing you should have in a woman is a support. the perfect woman is one who makes her other half better and who recieves betterment and the DICK in return
#176943 - demonologist (1 hour ago) [-]
My ex girlfriend is threatening to leak my nude pics that I sent her. None have my face in them but I've taken face pics in the same bathroom. What do? Can I take legal action? FYI I'm Canadian and she lives in another province so I don't know if I can take legal action from a different province.
User avatar #176945 to #176943 - redandgreen ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
Why is she threatening to leak them? You should probably just ask her to delete them before you mention legal stuff.
I don't know if the law is the same in Canada but over here the person who took the photo owns copyright so if you took them then you own them.
#176937 - mislavcro (3 hours ago) [-]
What is the best way to get over heartache, I've been losing my mind for this week and I want it to end.
User avatar #176938 to #176937 - silverzepher ONLINE (3 hours ago) [-]
welcome to the romantic's association. doughnuts and coffee sometimes show up.

how may we help you?
#176940 to #176938 - mislavcro (2 hours ago) [-]
Only way to help is the bullet to the brain. :S
User avatar #176941 to #176940 - silverzepher ONLINE (2 hours ago) [-]
or fall into a coma, but i prefer to dedicate myself to another, or if you end up in my situation you kind of just start loathing yourself, and deciding that jill is your new best friend
#176946 to #176941 - mislavcro (1 hour ago) [-]
For too long has Jill been my friend.
User avatar #176950 to #176946 - silverzepher ONLINE (1 hour ago) [-]
3 years and counting, so i know that feeling.

but yes, as a romantic you should know how easily you can fall in love. or you could work on some of your own things, start working out a little more, focus on your studies, try and work extra hours.
#176951 to #176950 - mislavcro (59 minutes ago) [-]
It's not that that's problem, I'm not fat, and I'm fairly normal looking. Just last week, I had something with this girl, fallen in love with her and all, and just in a second it was all gone. She found a new guy, never would have I thought that it would come to this.
User avatar #176954 to #176951 - silverzepher ONLINE (38 minutes ago) [-]
in not saying you where, but self improvement is never a bad thing.

that hurts man, i don't know what to say, but keep your chin up, and find someone who can help you mend that broken heart. Don't go for quick hook ups in the end that is just a selfdestructive path for a romantic, in not saying not to put yourself out there, but don't just go for a fling, i know that you might not want to jump right back in, and i don't blame you. take your time, maybe have a chat with your bartender for a couple of days, just don't give up, okay?
#176956 to #176954 - mislavcro (16 minutes ago) [-]
Hehe, thanks for caring, I was not planning on killing myself, don't worry. I just want a normal life, that's all.
User avatar #176958 to #176956 - silverzepher ONLINE (12 minutes ago) [-]
again i want talking about that, i was more talking about being a romantic, that being said as a romantic, normal is impossible
#176935 - anonexplains (4 hours ago) [-]
Hey guys, can you get an STD from a dog?
since this is anonymous i'll come right out and admit that i had sex with my dog, yesterday i just bent over the couch naked and let my st bernard penetrate me. first of all don't judge me, i was gagging for some action and my husband was at work, the neighbors can't satisfy me and i had lost my vibrator. besides since i had put peanut butter on my bumhole to get the pooch licking, he technically started it when he mounted me. anyway after a good 5 minutes of pounding he ejaculated in me and we spent some time licking each other. it was only after a while that i realized that i could have a std (i have watched my dog have sex with at least 2 other dogs and tried to get it on with a small boy who lives across the road from us so he isn't exactly clean). again no one criticize me, its my life and i need advice on whether i'm infected or not, i work in mcdonalds so it not exactly good if i have diseased fanny thats going to stink up the place. also i can't go to the doctor because last time i went after i had been penetrated by a horse he said he'll call the police if i had sex with a animal again, were all technically animals so i really can't see what the problem is, thanks
#176953 to #176935 - icefried (46 minutes ago) [-]
dear god that's hilarious
dear god that's hilarious
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#176934 - noblekira has deleted their comment [-]
#176925 - friendofaf (10 hours ago) [-]
Hey guys. I've been recording fraps videos for Besiege and I wanna find out how to shrink em. Because at the moment I'm making vids that are 2 gigs when I'd like them to be about 10mb. Anyone know any video shrinking software out there?
User avatar #176939 to #176925 - xXThatxOnexGuyXx (2 hours ago) [-]
I'd recommend using "Action!"
It's a really good capture program. Way better than flaps.
User avatar #176927 to #176925 - focalanemo (7 hours ago) [-]
You can shrink them by rendering them to the right quality. It won't become 10 mb but more like 500 MB.
You'll need a video-editing program to render your video's to a certain quality. 480p, 720p and 1080p for example.
A good program for editing is Adobe premier but that one costs money. You can torrent it if you want. There is also free software like windows movie maker which gets the job done.
#176924 - anonexplains (11 hours ago) [-]
Using my vibrator in my room.
Just heard my brother come home and walk upstairs. fml never masturbating again.
#176952 to #176924 - anonexplains (59 minutes ago) [-]
he's probably masturbated to the thought of you masturbating before
User avatar #176931 to #176924 - silverzepher ONLINE (6 hours ago) [-]
why? not like he doesn't get his jollies too
User avatar #176928 to #176924 - SOUL CRUSHER (6 hours ago) [-]
yeah yeah, that's
what they all say.
User avatar #176922 - bonerjam (14 hours ago) [-]
what are interpersonal skills? why are they important to the teaching and learning process?
User avatar #176930 to #176922 - SOUL CRUSHER (6 hours ago) [-]
I randomly got a boner while reading your post
#176915 - anonexplains (16 hours ago) [-]
How do you get over loving someone who will never love you back even if they seemed like they did in the past?
It should be easy, but it's definitely not.
#176944 to #176915 - anonexplains (1 hour ago) [-]
Britt?
#176949 to #176944 - anonexplains (1 hour ago) [-]
not Britt.
Hope you find her though.
User avatar #176929 to #176915 - SOUL CRUSHER (6 hours ago) [-]
I don't get along with my parents either anon
#176920 to #176915 - anonexplains (15 hours ago) [-]
After being sad/crying about it then you start the process of suppressing and forgetting your feelings. Whatever you need to do to do that is what you do. Whether it's finding another significant other, hanging out with friends, playing video games, watching movies/tv, exercising, etc. I'd say eating as well but I don't recommend becoming a fat ass, so eat if it helps but be prepared to get fit. Try not to become a pathetic piece of shit in the process. Nobody wants to be the guy/girl who went through a downwards spiral in life because of some guy/girl broke their heart.

tl;dr 1. cry if neccessary. 2. keep your mind off of it somehow.
User avatar #176912 - thunderquill (16 hours ago) [-]
So not sure where else to ask, I need to take a flight from Salt Lake city, UT to Atlantic city, NJ. I have looked everywhere and no flights go from slc to ac but theres middle points i can use, how am I supposed to make this work? I have never been on a plane and have no idea what Im doing or looking for...
User avatar #176918 to #176912 - foreveranonymous ONLINE (16 hours ago) [-]
I used to live 20 minutes from AC, it's garbage. My family always flew to/from Philadelphia, it's about an hour and a half/2 hours from AC.
User avatar #176926 to #176918 - thunderquill (10 hours ago) [-]
We were considering that, but Philadelphia is so far away from wildwood (area where ill be staying)
User avatar #176932 to #176926 - foreveranonymous ONLINE (5 hours ago) [-]
Yeah Wildwood is pretty far from Philly, but Philly is probably your best bet, honestly. It's the only other airport I know of in that area that isn't AC
User avatar #176917 to #176912 - spaceking (16 hours ago) [-]
There seems to be only a small airline running out of Atlantic City, try to find what other cities it connects to. Remember, you can always take a bus partway if you cant find any flights. Not optimal, but it works in a pinch.
#176911 - anonexplains (16 hours ago) [-]
I need help guys,

I'm retarded I've been dating this girl and I'm in love with her. But I broke up with her, I broke my own heart and I don't know how to fix it. I can't seem to date anyone and its been close to half a year, I don't know why I just find it wrong. I mean I've dated 2 other girls but only for about a week. The thing is I don't want to forget about her and I absolutely truly love her. She used to come to my house almost everyday and we would just cuddle on my bed and idk its just so hard her not being there anymore. I'm not sure if ill ever be able to get over her.
#176921 to #176911 - anonexplains (15 hours ago) [-]
Have you tried apologizing to her and get her back?
#176903 - anonexplains (18 hours ago) [-]
how to get over that sore feeling in your wrist when you jerk it wrong?
User avatar #176902 - noooooooo (18 hours ago) [-]
what do you do when youre so excited about an upcoming event that its hard to think of anything other than the event? im 99% sure this will happen, but the exact date is unknown. somewhere between 2-3 weeks i think...
#176898 - anonexplains (19 hours ago) [-]
What do you do when you're so depressed and out of energy that you want to die, but don't have the energy to do it
#176916 to #176898 - anonexplains (16 hours ago) [-]
Honestly, fresh air/sunlight is therapeutic, just find a park bench somewhere and chill for a while, or if possible drive to somewhere in nature, even if you're too tired to hike or walk. Bring along your favorite food and have a picnic.
You're young and have plenty of time to get shit sorted, you'll find that most people aren't bad, and will value you for who you are. The fiancee thing is none of my business, but people this young need time to explore the world and its many wonders, at the risk of sound cynical, relationships this early rarely last, and for the best. You learn what you can, and move on. Good luck, I know it will work out.
User avatar #176909 to #176898 - SOUL CRUSHER (17 hours ago) [-]
dude.... you just want and attention like a whore. oh boo whoo no one talks to you. guess what you're not the centre of everyone universe. We have our own problems o deal with. Get over yourself. You have a fiancee, grow up and just say "hey I'm feeling down and want someone to talk to" but no you wont because you want THEM to come to your like a narcissistic bastard. People suck, get over it and try to be someone who doesn't suck
User avatar #176914 to #176909 - spaceking (16 hours ago) [-]
How did you know this anon has a fiancee?
#176913 to #176909 - anonexplains (16 hours ago) [-]
I DO try to talk to my fiancee. I try over and over for days on end with not a single fucking reply. I don't want to be the center of the universe, I want my fucking fiancee to say hello and tell me they love me, why is that so wrong?
User avatar #176900 to #176898 - noooooooo (19 hours ago) [-]
find someone to talk to
#176904 to #176900 - anonexplains (18 hours ago) [-]
But that's my problem. No one talks to me first, and when I try they always ignore me, even my fiancee... I just want someone to pay attention to me, I have no one, I have nothing
User avatar #176905 to #176904 - noooooooo (17 hours ago) [-]
would you like to talk to me about it? you can add me on steam or skype, i like to listen.
#176906 to #176905 - anonexplains (17 hours ago) [-]
I'd have to think it over, I'm really shy and I've been yelled at a lot for talking about my issues.
User avatar #176907 to #176906 - noooooooo (17 hours ago) [-]
just over text. write it here if you want. i try to be open-minded, theres no reason to be afraid of talking about things.
User avatar #176899 to #176898 - noneckcomics (19 hours ago) [-]
Eat poptarts
User avatar #176896 - gmanofwonder (20 hours ago) [-]
Not gonna get into it, but if someone supposedly had PTSD, how many years can it take for it to go over the top untreated?



The following symptoms: Hypervigilance, unable to sleep some nights, flashbacks of the events, imagining killing, etc.
User avatar #176910 to #176896 - SOUL CRUSHER (17 hours ago) [-]
varies from person to person, I don't consider these people ticking time-bombs.
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#176895 - gmanofwonder has deleted their comment [-]
#176889 - anonexplains (21 hours ago) [-]
If I have nudes of my minor girlfriend of consenting age 16+ in my state, she's 17 and I for some reason get caught with it, is it considered child porn and would I be arrested?
User avatar #176897 to #176889 - gmanofwonder (20 hours ago) [-]
Sumbodi's wrong.. pornography is federally 18 since it goes by the highest legal age in the country.

You won't get in trouble for it if that's what you're asking.
User avatar #176933 to #176897 - sumbodi (4 hours ago) [-]
indeed i was wrong, but i looked it up and if you are found with it you can be charged with the possession of child pornography, but the cops dont really care because he's in a relationship
#176919 to #176897 - anonexplains (15 hours ago) [-]
Thanks
User avatar #176892 to #176889 - sumbodi (21 hours ago) [-]
no because she is above the legal age of concent
#176894 to #176892 - anonexplains (20 hours ago) [-]
Thanks.
User avatar #176888 - rereviven (21 hours ago) [-]
Im building a computer and need to install the windows OS on it, but I dont really have an internal disk drive. Can I use a USB external disk drive to put the disk in the install the OS? Will the computer be able to use the disk drive properly before the OS is actually installed?
#176887 - padorak (22 hours ago) [-]
Dear Advice:   
My friends and I made a video of us playing black ops 2 and my friend Phil is usually the one to edit these videos. I got to edit this one though and would like some advice using adobe premiere. If you want to see what I've done so far that and give me some advice that would be spectacular. Thanks advice.   
Patrick-losersonline   
   
p.s. the raw footage I used was from one of the very first recordings we did so the quality isn't very good.
GENTLEMEN | Black Ops II Zombies #1
Dear Advice:
My friends and I made a video of us playing black ops 2 and my friend Phil is usually the one to edit these videos. I got to edit this one though and would like some advice using adobe premiere. If you want to see what I've done so far that and give me some advice that would be spectacular. Thanks advice.
Patrick-losersonline

p.s. the raw footage I used was from one of the very first recordings we did so the quality isn't very good.
User avatar #176882 - derpityhurr (23 hours ago) [-]
Is a horizontal compression of 2 to a function equal to a horizontal stretch by 0.5 (the inverse)?
#176947 to #176882 - anonexplains (1 hour ago) [-]
f(2x) = compression by half = 1/2
2f(x) = doubled in height
f(x+2) = move graph 2 units to the left
f(x)+2 = move graph 2 units up

I think...
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