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#738 - spauldeagle (05/22/2012) [-]
Or you could be reasonable and say that the flood never 			*******		 happened. At no point in human history have we been selected down to one dude. 90% of the stories in the Old Testament are 			*********		. If you want to understand religion, let go of the Old Testament, as half of the entire thing is just a list of laws to guide a primitive civilization, the Jews (5000-2000 years ago). Our modern civilization is so much more advanced than the barbarian tribes of the BCs. The New Testament has some good 			****		 though, its just misinterpreted by confused, power hungry asses with tiny dicks. If you have any respect for what Ghandi had to say, you'd realize that Jesus said the same thing too.   
   
TL;DR   
Old Testament is gay, New Testament is totally cool   
gif is completely unrelated, I used it to attract your attention.
Or you could be reasonable and say that the flood never ******* happened. At no point in human history have we been selected down to one dude. 90% of the stories in the Old Testament are ********* . If you want to understand religion, let go of the Old Testament, as half of the entire thing is just a list of laws to guide a primitive civilization, the Jews (5000-2000 years ago). Our modern civilization is so much more advanced than the barbarian tribes of the BCs. The New Testament has some good **** though, its just misinterpreted by confused, power hungry asses with tiny dicks. If you have any respect for what Ghandi had to say, you'd realize that Jesus said the same thing too.

TL;DR
Old Testament is gay, New Testament is totally cool
gif is completely unrelated, I used it to attract your attention.
#756 to #738 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
It wasn't just him on the boat as I recall. Please actually read the Old Testament and make sure you understood it correctly before stating your opinion on it.
User avatar #794 to #756 - spauldeagle (05/22/2012) [-]
I understand your criticism, but i was making the connection that Noah was the father of the the three sons (shem, ham, and japheth), who fathered the rest of humanity. Believe me, I have read the ****** Bible. I'm currently graduating from a Jesuit high school. Couldn't have made it this far without actually opening a Bible.

Correction: At no point in human history have we been selected down to one man's lineage.
#765 to #756 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Correct. It wasn't just Noah.

Noah was accompanied on the ark with his wife and their three sons and their wives.
User avatar #724 - satou (05/22/2012) [-]
the millions that god drowned were jews..... see case solved
#664 - zhooker (05/22/2012) [-]
I hate religion/anti-religion posts
I hate religion/anti-religion posts
User avatar #377 - forsakensaint (05/22/2012) [-]
Also if there would be a god (Witch i don't personally believe), it would be the one who created Hitler... = God once again would be the one responsible...
#441 to #377 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Oh come off it, near all major faiths teach us that God or some higher power granted us reason and importantly free will. A God that intervenes is ultimately going to be a god guilty of favouritism. Mankind has reason, through reason we can solve near all the problems we face; Hitler acheived power because many, many people surrendered their reason.

It's fine that you disbelieve in God, but come on, you can do better than that.
User avatar #453 to #441 - forsakensaint (05/22/2012) [-]
Yeah, but if he/she is almigthy, then it would already know everything about everything, including that who will not believe in him and what anyone, everywhere will do, will not do.

So, he/she is not giving us any change at all because he/she already knows what we will do with our whole life right from the start.
#458 to #453 - nscott (05/22/2012) [-]
It's still free will, he just knows everything.
User avatar #466 to #458 - forsakensaint (05/22/2012) [-]
So basicly the free will does not matter? Because if he/she is the creator of all, witch is us including, he/she would know (before we even exist) all and everythig we will ever do/know/believe and yet he let's us born... Now tell me, why the F would that make any sense at all?
#550 to #466 - nscott (05/22/2012) [-]
The definition of free-will is free and independent choice; voluntary decision, so are you making choices and no one is forcing you to make them? Then you have free-will and everything you do affects everything else so I think free-will matters.
#228 - scatmanjosh (05/22/2012) [-]
**** ...youhad to go there didnt you?
#143 - kitsunemochalite (05/22/2012) [-]
I didn't come here to be rustled
I came here to laugh
#180 to #143 - trimageryan (05/22/2012) [-]
I agree Ofdensen
#791 to #180 - kitsunemochalite (05/22/2012) [-]
Toki is not understanding why he didn't get invited to Jimmy Rustles Tuesday
#821 to #791 - trimageryan (05/23/2012) [-]
Because I's says nos Toki, nots until yous answers the question "At which do you most can't the least?"
#822 to #821 - kitsunemochalite (05/23/2012) [-]
Buts Skwisgaar I brought candies! And by candies I mean chickens! I justs want to be includes!
#823 to #822 - trimageryan (05/23/2012) [-]
Will someone please just let Toki be apart of your Jimmy....Rustling....thing?
He won't sleep tonight if you don't.
#824 to #823 - kitsunemochalite (05/23/2012) [-]
Hims is just being a baby to get hims ways!
#106 - combatgummybear (05/22/2012) [-]
< What goes on in the comments in every religion post.
< What goes on in the comments in every religion post.
User avatar #61 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
okay, post places The Bible as fact, so i'll argue doing the same.

1: God gave all life in the first place, along with a set of rules. if said rules were broken, life was revoked. a contract system, just and fair since the single rule was: don't eat from that one tree over there, eat from any of the other hundreds of thousands. Conversely, Hitler had no right to take even a single life, including his own (it wasn't his to take, one reason suicide is a sin on the level of murder)

2: Humanity were warned. The Ark took one hundred years to build, and Noah was warning people. they made fun of him for building a boat and speaking about rain (to this point it never had) and flooding. they thought it would all go ahead as it always had, and they still had the chance to live if they just got onto the boat, which nobody besides Noah and his family did.

3: man was not corrupting God's plan for a perfect world, man was corrupting God's perfect man, and already had past the point or redemption for most. "And every thought of man was constantly on evil." there were people attaining celebrity status for killing other people for no real reason. a man named Lamech created a song about how he murdered a guy. God had a reason, and punished people not for who they were, but what they did. Hitler irrationally hated normal people for the sole reason of being born that way.

does this make OP's shortsighted addition to the atheistic belief-shoving fad seem any more silly? don't expect much of a reply, it's late around here.
User avatar #64 to #61 - skyrimnord (05/22/2012) [-]
Atheists constantly claim to have a better knowledge of the bible than anyone else on here, Thanks for showing them wrong! Thumb up!
-3
#68 to #61 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #77 to #68 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
if you have a child, the child is from your body, which is still not yours (as stated before) so it's still not your child and you didn't make it. it's yours in one way: in the sense that you are to take care of and have custody of it, but you do not own the child and have full rights to do whatever you want to it, nor to yourself.

Adam and Eve had no knowledge of good and evil. They did, however, know who God was, and could understand fully. you can understand if someone says "stay away from that tree over there, and if you eat it you'll die" and so could they. Adam and Eve doubted God, and disobeyed, those two acts are their sin. They had no sense of morality at all, but they did know to obey God, and they did know fully what they were doing when they ate the forbidden fruit. they didn't have to know it was wrong, they did have to and did know they were being disobedient. they didn't know it was inherently "wrong" to disobey. They did know, however, that they were supposed to stay away from that tree. they didn't know why, but they did know.
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#88 to #77 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #99 to #88 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
in the case of an artificial intelligence, if given a command, and if the command is not followed, a punishment is doled out. it did not know of a right and wrong to following the command, only that it was to follow the command. it is moral in that case, to punish it, since it knew what was supposed to be done and did not.

they were given the tools to understand the consequences. they knew what they were and were not meant to do.

my belief on why the tree was there can be figured out by the following statement: "if there is no way to do evil, what use is a good action?"

man was created for God. in the shorter catechism, it is stated as follows: "Q: what is the chief end of man? A: Man's chief end is to glorify and enjoy God forever." we were made for God, for fellowship with Him. and we were given the opportunity to reject that, so that the choice of accepting it is given meaning. we were allowed to do wrong, so that it would have meaning when we do right. that's why the tree was there, and the option to sin was given, at least in my eyes.

God is in no way at fault for this, then. He gave the first human full ability to understand what they were told, and full reason to do so. He gave us the choice to do wrong, so that it would have meaning when we chose to do right (like when a friend gives you a gift. it's meaningless if you told them to give it to you) and so, it is fully the fault of Adam and Eve when they did wrong.
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#278 to #99 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #71 to #68 - suddenlypotatoes (05/22/2012) [-]
God told them to not eat from the tree
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#72 to #71 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #75 to #72 - suddenlypotatoes (05/22/2012) [-]
God and humans were in a much deeper relationship and in sync with each other, we knew much more and were much closer with God. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, he took away that closeness to him, and thus instituting the necessity of Jesus and the Church: so that we may become closer with him, and so that we may reach eternal salvation with him
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#76 to #75 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #81 to #76 - suddenlypotatoes (05/22/2012) [-]
In Genesis 2:16-17 , God told Adam that he was free to eat from every tree in the garden, except the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God said that he would die if he ate the fruit.

There was no sin because humans were happier and together with God. Their disobedience created original sin and allowed for sin to enter the world.
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#82 to #81 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #86 to #82 - suddenlypotatoes (05/22/2012) [-]
It was wrong indeed. It was disobeying a direct command from their creator, and they were knowledgeable of this.
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#90 to #86 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #93 to #90 - suddenlypotatoes (05/22/2012) [-]
Well, the story is a myth, so "they" didn't ever even exist...
but it is not for the plot so much as the idea. It is that God instituted a set of rules for us that we do have the knowledge of.
User avatar #259 to #93 - schifter (05/22/2012) [-]
athiest owned by reason and logic.

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#97 to #93 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
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#70 to #68 - suddenlypotatoes has deleted their comment [-]
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#74 to #68 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #85 to #74 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
it doesn't really make a difference if i would or would not have, for one thing, though i probably would not have. it's also a different situation, to use your scenario and make it a bit more accurate, it's a man who spent one hundred years building a shelter against this and is asking you to sit in it for one day. that i may very well have done.

murder was an example i used. the other things mentioned were sodomy, aldutery, zoophilia, thievery, and the like not only being performed but also glorified in song and theater. these are more acceptable in modern society, and thought as less immoral than murder, but they are all the same level of sin.

you assume not everyone could be murder-machines, and correctly, that would burn it all out. but, in the text, all men were corrupt and totally intent upon evil. everyone was the worst kind pf human, except Noah. deep down in their hearts, that's all they wanted: to sin. they could not have been rehabilitated, except by direct and immediate intervention taking away all free will and restructuring them from a free human into a robot, which God will not do for anyone. it's not murder when a man is sentenced to the Death Penalty, it is execution. They were punished for living in a way nobody should live, and by the only perfect being; the only one given the right to bestow judgement.
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#94 to #85 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #103 to #94 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
how is it wrong for a man who has taken the life of another (or some other heinous crime) to have his life taken as punishment? either in a literal or virtual way? (being killed by the proper authorities after being convicted, or by working to replace the man he killed sold into either literal or virtual slavery, IE life sentence of hard labor or, in biblical times, or actual slavery [though even that slavery only lasted until the year of Jubilee when all slaves were set free, either to be hired by their former owner or to live their lives as they chose])
any other way would be forgiveness, which can only be done by the offended party.

i can understand how you believe all human deaths are murder, but some honestly and fully deserve death (all of us, in fact, according to The Bible, but i doubt you will agree with the why on that, so it can be dropped) even to modern morals. the fact is, there is a right and a wrong that we are born with and it's wrong to unduly take the life of another human being. In the same way, it is not wrong for the authorities set over men to justly take the life of a man who has sinned drastically and been caught in the act, or proven to have done so. The Bible has a set of guidelines for that, and places God as the one to carry out the judgement, and governments below to carry it out justly, or be guilty themselves and even more guilty, because they not only murdered, but they abused the power allowed them.
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#261 to #103 - alphagarebear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #234 to #103 - draezeth (05/22/2012) [-]
I love you. Friend request sent.
User avatar #514 to #61 - uhidk (05/22/2012) [-]
but god doesn't exist, therefore none of that **** happened.
User avatar #128 to #61 - Ombra (05/22/2012) [-]
Thank you for giving us Christians some brownie points :)
#92 to #61 - latinotornado (05/22/2012) [-]
you seem very well educated and made us christians look good :) its people like you that make my day, thanks for being you buddy!
you seem very well educated and made us christians look good :) its people like you that make my day, thanks for being you buddy!
User avatar #100 to #92 - Namezone ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
thank you, i can thank my church, my pastor, and C.S. Lewis for most of this :)
User avatar #43 - alanthewhite (05/22/2012) [-]
**alanthewhite rolls 328,693,263**
God: I'm going to drown the wicked.

Noah: K. Can I warn them.

God: What's the point? They won't listen.

Noah: I'll try.

God: K.

-Hours Later-

Noah: They didn't listen.

God: K.
#728 - guiguito ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
#570 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (05/22/2012) [-]
At first I was like
#572 to #570 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (05/22/2012) [-]
And then I was like
#582 to #572 - hakusprite **User deleted account** (05/22/2012) [-]
But seriously, FunnyJunk. Can we stop with all this ******** about religion **** ? I came to this site BECAUSE of the community, in fact, I love it here. But lately, you've all been massive faggots about this. Enough with the religion crap, there's no proof of anything until YOU know for sure, and if you're too stupid to understand what that means, it means, WHEN YOU DIE YOU'LL KNOW. So shut the **** up, and search FunnyJunk for some funny, go outside, go get a burger, work out, play some vidya games. Just enough with the religion **** . Seriously.

TL:DR STOP BEING FAGGOTS ABOUT RELIGION AND UPLOAD SOME FUNNY TO THIS JUNK
User avatar #594 to #582 - muslimassassin (05/22/2012) [-]
I still find these kinds of content funny because of the comments section.
#236 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
True atheists don't make these types of posts to make theists butthurt. No, what we want is for theists to realize that religion is a lie that has been passed down generation after generation by parents that dared not to question the word of god. We want them to realize that god does not control your life, nor anyone else's. YOU DO. We want to free them from the ignorance of the past, so that we may continue on into the future as an advanced, and educated species.
#245 to #236 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
#251 to #236 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Who says you need to be atheist to be intelligent? Isaac Newton was extremely devout yet he is considered the father of modern physics.
#255 to #251 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
He was devout because he was religion was introduced to him at a young age. He didn't question it, because religion seemed like a legit thing at his time, but with the knowledge we have now. We can dare to question the existence of a deity.
User avatar #253 to #236 - deansg (05/22/2012) [-]
THANK YOU! I used to be slightly religious myself. If people would only make fun of me for that I would probably have just become more religious. Atheists should stop trying to just make fun of religion and treat it more differently if they want change
+4
#240 to #236 - crawlingninjabear **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#226 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
hows about act of nature kills millions, and Hitler even though he had millions of followers was a complete douchebag? God doesn't play a part here.
User avatar #241 to #226 - elektra (05/22/2012) [-]
Nature? isn't it god's creation according to creationist ?
#233 to #226 - Blasphemer (05/22/2012) [-]
No, because when good stuff happens, it's god. When **** happens god goes: wasntme.jpg
#145 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Guys, Hitler was an atheist, one of his plans was to occupy the Vatican and kill the Pope. Never actually happened but the plans were there.
#146 to #145 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Shows how much you know, Hitler was christian, he was just very skeptic towards the catholic church and favored the protestant teachings.
#147 to #145 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Are you a dumbass? The Italians were allied with the Germans for the first half of WW2.. Germany DID occupy the Vatican and the Catholic church ENCOURAGED the genocide of the Jews. The Hitler was not an athiest; in fact he was a Roman Catholic. He mentions God and his own religious beliefs in Mein Kumpf. Read a little bit.
User avatar #151 to #147 - mattmenzo (05/22/2012) [-]
mein kampf*
#154 to #151 - knarta (05/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #158 to #154 - mattmenzo (05/22/2012) [-]
Can't let the title of the greatest work by mein fuhrer being defamed...
#159 to #145 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
Retard is retarded... Aprocsematley 30'000German Natzis were "evacuated" into the Vatican and hid there under their diplomatic immunity. And Later they were sent to countrys that would let them live there, regardless of their actions.
They tried to get the pope convicted for hiding and aiding war criminals. But he just sat inside the Vatican untill they figured that they might as well just drop the charges. The catocs were pro Hitler(not all but the church at least). And Hitler was a catholic, you might not guess it but, well. Thats kinda why the sloagen "God with us" was written on all the belt buckles of the German soldiers.
**** YOU!
#187 to #159 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
It's common knowledge that Hitler was an atheist.
It's common knowledge that Hitler was an atheist.
User avatar #217 to #187 - sailorstarsun (05/22/2012) [-]
"Hence today I believe that I am acting in accordance with the will of the Almighty Creator: by defending myself against the Jew, I am fighting for the work of the Lord." -Hitler, Adolf (1999) Mein Kampf. Trans. Ralph Manheim. New York: Mariner Books, p. 65


No, he wasn't.
User avatar #194 to #145 - drcroccer (05/22/2012) [-]
We know ******** about Hitler's religion. In public speeches and manifestoes he praises Christianity, though obviously to get support from the largely religious Germans, whilst his private utterances are far more critical.

The notion that the Catholic Church and the Nazi's cooperated is a bit absurd. The Church was one of the greatest supporters of resistance movements and the hiding of Jews in countries like Poland, and the Nazis only really tolerated the Church. The same with the Protestants, which forced Hitler to start a rival, Nazi Protestant church because of their opposition.

This entire 'discussion' is moot though. Regardless of Hitler's personal beliefs, there's no evidence that it influenced his decision to do what he did. The only people who care are retarded Atheists and Theists who think that pretending that Hitler was this or that will somehow undermine the others' position.
#122 - Rascal (05/22/2012) [-]
You forgot to add that there is no possible way for the whole Earth to flood and drown everyone. It's scientifically impossible.
#126 to #122 - stargate (05/22/2012) [-]
1.What about the ice caps melting and people thinking it was so strange it had to be supernatural.
2.Also the bible has a lot of stories that aren't supposed to be taken literally.
3.Other religions state that there was a HUGE flood (not just Christianity) that cleansed the earth, so there probably was some monster flood that scared our ancestors.
User avatar #132 to #126 - gggeee (05/22/2012) [-]
1. because early post cave men were ******* dumb-asses when it came to nature
(+1)


2. the bible was written to be taken beyond literally and to strike fear into the "non believers"

(+0)

3. either the Dead or Red sea (one of those near Europe) did flood and the inhabitants freaked the **** out, the reasons it was written in other religions was because many of the tribes back then lived around those bodies of water and spread the stories. like you said monster flood, scared ancestors ******** .

(+0.5)

1.5/3
#799 to #132 - stargate (05/22/2012) [-]
Th bible wasn't written to be taken literally, the bible is a fictional reference made up to show people how to live their lives.
User avatar #89 to #69 - theexo (05/22/2012) [-]
Jack Spicer, i challenge you to a Xiaolin Shodown! Your Fist of Tebigong against my Shrowd of Shadows! first to stop these religous posts wins! GONG YI TEMPI!
User avatar #223 to #89 - draezeth (05/22/2012) [-]
This one could last a while...
#83 to #69 - xOXAnimosityXOx (05/22/2012) [-]
I wager the sword of the storms then!
#78 - popkornking (05/22/2012) [-]
Okay, so if your criticizing god, then I assume you're an athiest, but that would mean you didn't believe in god so you couldn't make fun of a comparison between god and Hitler because you don't believe in... You know what never mind
#95 to #78 - hebs (05/22/2012) [-]
just because he doesn't believe he is real doesn't mean he doesn't know the stories about god. they even wrote a book about it.
User avatar #96 to #78 - gammajk ONLINE (05/22/2012) [-]
I don't think mario is real but I can still call mario an italian faggot plumber twat
#737 - noobybooby (05/22/2012) [-]
thumbing down all the comments like a boss.

9gag 4 life
#747 to #737 - onetwothreeawfuck (05/22/2012) [-]
Hey mate!  Welcome to Funnjunk.  I'm really glad you made it!  I'd really appreciate if you didn't thumb down every comment.  We usually just thumb down the ones that aren't funny, but hey, who am I to tell someone else how to go about their business!  Cheers!  Maybe later we could all go out for some frosty milkshakes and talk about the internet!  Bye bye!  Have a great day!
Hey mate! Welcome to Funnjunk. I'm really glad you made it! I'd really appreciate if you didn't thumb down every comment. We usually just thumb down the ones that aren't funny, but hey, who am I to tell someone else how to go about their business! Cheers! Maybe later we could all go out for some frosty milkshakes and talk about the internet! Bye bye! Have a great day!
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