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#738 - spauldeagle
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
Or you could be reasonable and say that the flood never ******* happened. At no point in human history have we been selected down to one dude. 90% of the stories in the Old Testament are *********. If you want to understand religion, let go of the Old Testament, as half of the entire thing is just a list of laws to guide a primitive civilization, the Jews (5000-2000 years ago). Our modern civilization is so much more advanced than the barbarian tribes of the BCs. The New Testament has some good **** though, its just misinterpreted by confused, power hungry asses with tiny dicks. If you have any respect for what Ghandi had to say, you'd realize that Jesus said the same thing too.   
   
TL;DR   
Old Testament is gay, New Testament is totally cool   
gif is completely unrelated, I used it to attract your attention.
Or you could be reasonable and say that the flood never ******* happened. At no point in human history have we been selected down to one dude. 90% of the stories in the Old Testament are *********. If you want to understand religion, let go of the Old Testament, as half of the entire thing is just a list of laws to guide a primitive civilization, the Jews (5000-2000 years ago). Our modern civilization is so much more advanced than the barbarian tribes of the BCs. The New Testament has some good **** though, its just misinterpreted by confused, power hungry asses with tiny dicks. If you have any respect for what Ghandi had to say, you'd realize that Jesus said the same thing too.

TL;DR
Old Testament is gay, New Testament is totally cool
gif is completely unrelated, I used it to attract your attention.
#756 to #738 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
It wasn't just him on the boat as I recall. Please actually read the Old Testament and make sure you understood it correctly before stating your opinion on it.
#794 to #756 - spauldeagle
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
I understand your criticism, but i was making the connection that Noah was the father of the the three sons (shem, ham, and japheth), who fathered the rest of humanity. Believe me, I have read the ****** Bible. I'm currently graduating from a Jesuit high school. Couldn't have made it this far without actually opening a Bible.

Correction: At no point in human history have we been selected down to one man's lineage.
#765 to #756 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Correct. It wasn't just Noah.

Noah was accompanied on the ark with his wife and their three sons and their wives.
#737 - noobybooby
Reply -17
(05/22/2012) [-]
thumbing down all the comments like a boss.

9gag 4 life
#747 to #737 - onetwothreeawfuck
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
Hey mate!  Welcome to Funnjunk.  I'm really glad you made it!  I'd really appreciate if you didn't thumb down every comment.  We usually just thumb down the ones that aren't funny, but hey, who am I to tell someone else how to go about their business!  Cheers!  Maybe later we could all go out for some frosty milkshakes and talk about the internet!  Bye bye!  Have a great day!
Hey mate! Welcome to Funnjunk. I'm really glad you made it! I'd really appreciate if you didn't thumb down every comment. We usually just thumb down the ones that aren't funny, but hey, who am I to tell someone else how to go about their business! Cheers! Maybe later we could all go out for some frosty milkshakes and talk about the internet! Bye bye! Have a great day!
#730 - gcgporn
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
**gcgporn rolled a random image posted in comment #27 at Lesbian Protest ** <---- OP
#726 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
There was a flood ~8000 years ago on the shores of the black sea as it rose, displacing thousands. Gods flood was the explanation for the event.
#745 to #726 - galkawhm
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
But earth is only 6000 years old
#724 - satou
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
the millions that god drowned were jews..... see case solved
#698 - vanoreo
Reply +1
(05/22/2012) [-]
Just saying, almost all of the book of Genesis is 100% fiction.
>Adam and Eve

Source: Scripture student
#700 to #698 - lolfire
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
From what I've gathered Genesis (And the bible as a whole) is NOT supposed to be taken literally. It's all metaphors and symbol on how to live a good life...

Think something got lost in translation..
#706 to #700 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
The whole Bible was written by a bunch of power hungry monks that made up 90% of it and edited all of the other documents to fit into their "all powerful" god theme so people would follow them to gain power, fame, and money
#703 to #700 - vanoreo
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Need to know:
Social system
Literary form
Author's intent
#708 to #703 - lolfire
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
And you can't ignore the facts that the stories and references match up perfectly with the movement of stars and planets, which back in those days, was the **** to the human race..
#576 - superjezuz
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
you guys are forgetting Hitler isnt that bad... i mean he killed Hitler
#632 to #576 - devryn
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
yeah but he also killed the guy who killed hitler
#431 - guto
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
#377 - forsakensaint
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
Also if there would be a god (Witch i don't personally believe), it would be the one who created Hitler... = God once again would be the one responsible...
#441 to #377 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Oh come off it, near all major faiths teach us that God or some higher power granted us reason and importantly free will. A God that intervenes is ultimately going to be a god guilty of favouritism. Mankind has reason, through reason we can solve near all the problems we face; Hitler acheived power because many, many people surrendered their reason.

It's fine that you disbelieve in God, but come on, you can do better than that.
#453 to #441 - forsakensaint
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Yeah, but if he/she is almigthy, then it would already know everything about everything, including that who will not believe in him and what anyone, everywhere will do, will not do.

So, he/she is not giving us any change at all because he/she already knows what we will do with our whole life right from the start.
#458 to #453 - nscott
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
It's still free will, he just knows everything.
#466 to #458 - forsakensaint
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
So basicly the free will does not matter? Because if he/she is the creator of all, witch is us including, he/she would know (before we even exist) all and everythig we will ever do/know/believe and yet he let's us born... Now tell me, why the F would that make any sense at all?
#550 to #466 - nscott
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
The definition of free-will is free and independent choice; voluntary decision, so are you making choices and no one is forcing you to make them? Then you have free-will and everything you do affects everything else so I think free-will matters.
#244 - auesis ONLINE
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
#236 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
True atheists don't make these types of posts to make theists butthurt. No, what we want is for theists to realize that religion is a lie that has been passed down generation after generation by parents that dared not to question the word of god. We want them to realize that god does not control your life, nor anyone else's. YOU DO. We want to free them from the ignorance of the past, so that we may continue on into the future as an advanced, and educated species.
#245 to #236 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
#251 to #236 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Who says you need to be atheist to be intelligent? Isaac Newton was extremely devout yet he is considered the father of modern physics.
#255 to #251 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
He was devout because he was religion was introduced to him at a young age. He didn't question it, because religion seemed like a legit thing at his time, but with the knowledge we have now. We can dare to question the existence of a deity.
#253 to #236 - deansg
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
THANK YOU! I used to be slightly religious myself. If people would only make fun of me for that I would probably have just become more religious. Atheists should stop trying to just make fun of religion and treat it more differently if they want change
#240 to #236 - crawlingninjabear **User deleted account**
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#228 - scatmanjosh
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
****...youhad to go there didnt you?
#136 - joshthepoet
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
Sorry, but this is completely wrong. God caused the flood to happen because people were explicitly sinning and following false prophets pretty much for the sole purpose of pissing off God. Well it worked.
Hitler used the Jewish as a scapegoat for all of Germany's problems, and wanted to create the "perfect Germany." God never wanted a perfect world, he knows that we can't be perfect. Sin breaks God's heart over and over again. It also broke his heart to cause the flood. He made a pact with Noah to never flood the earth again. Then there is Jesus.
God knew that the people were doing everything wrong, so he put on skin as Jesus for 33 years, walked the earth to try and teach people how to live, and then suffered the punishment he was given including the crucifix to take the punishment our sin deserves, because we cannot get to heaven on our own.

I usually don't post on Religious pictures, because the entire atheism/ christianity debate is absolutely retarded. It's like Gandalf meets the black knight. It ends off in the standstill that no one can PROOVE their way against the other. But this one particularly pissed me off, even the thought of you comparing God to someone like Hitler is just you being a jackass. But I forgive you, and I'll be praying for you that perhaps some day you change the way you think.
#216 to #136 - draezeth
Reply -1
(05/22/2012) [-]
God also had Noah warn them beforehand. In fact, he warned this victims every time before they were killed.
#140 to #136 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
you got reeled in
#142 to #136 - erethilful
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Mfw your post.. Still after thousand years of fighting about this ****, no real proof have been found that God would have existed.. But Hitler was alive, and there's proof.. Yet Hitler tried to make humans perfect ( in his own way, which is unacceptable ).. Used jews on experiments to cure diseases, tried dna manipulation ( which kinda failed because.. well you know, he tried to change eye colors kinda wrong way ) etc etc.   
   
Imo Hitler still tried to make human world better place.. With his own little plan which sucked ass, but still tried.
Mfw your post.. Still after thousand years of fighting about this ****, no real proof have been found that God would have existed.. But Hitler was alive, and there's proof.. Yet Hitler tried to make humans perfect ( in his own way, which is unacceptable ).. Used jews on experiments to cure diseases, tried dna manipulation ( which kinda failed because.. well you know, he tried to change eye colors kinda wrong way ) etc etc.

Imo Hitler still tried to make human world better place.. With his own little plan which sucked ass, but still tried.
#156 to #142 - drewsky
Reply +3
(05/22/2012) [-]
Hitler was still just using the Jews as scapegoats lol. He just gave the people a reason to hate someone for no reason.
#163 to #156 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Yea, right.... You probable don't believe in the Holocaust either do you?
#190 to #163 - drewsky
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
I personally went to Auschwitz and met a Holocaust survivor on my school trip to Germany.
#230 to #136 - hebs
Reply +1
(05/22/2012) [-]
the most aggravating thing a religious person can say to an atheist is "i will pray for you"
#468 to #230 - draezeth
Reply -1
(05/22/2012) [-]
"I'll pray for you" is Christian for "I care about you and don't want you to suffer."

Getting aggravated about that is like a Christian getting aggravated by a religious post on FJ that was solely intended for humor.
#855 to #468 - hebs
Reply 0
(05/25/2012) [-]
that's why
#856 to #855 - draezeth
Reply -1
(05/25/2012) [-]
Well, it's not my motivation.

...

Although sometimes seeing some of them squirm is satisfying.
#857 to #856 - hebs
Reply 0
(05/25/2012) [-]
well that not very nice
#858 to #857 - draezeth
Reply +1
(05/27/2012) [-]
It's only satisfying if they're mean.
#122 - anon
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
You forgot to add that there is no possible way for the whole Earth to flood and drown everyone. It's scientifically impossible.
#126 to #122 - stargate
Reply -6
(05/22/2012) [-]
1.What about the ice caps melting and people thinking it was so strange it had to be supernatural.
2.Also the bible has a lot of stories that aren't supposed to be taken literally.
3.Other religions state that there was a HUGE flood (not just Christianity) that cleansed the earth, so there probably was some monster flood that scared our ancestors.
#132 to #126 - gggeee
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
1. because early post cave men were ******* dumb-asses when it came to nature
(+1)


2. the bible was written to be taken beyond literally and to strike fear into the "non believers"

(+0)

3. either the Dead or Red sea (one of those near Europe) did flood and the inhabitants freaked the **** out, the reasons it was written in other religions was because many of the tribes back then lived around those bodies of water and spread the stories. like you said monster flood, scared ancestors ********.

(+0.5)

1.5/3
#799 to #132 - stargate
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Th bible wasn't written to be taken literally, the bible is a fictional reference made up to show people how to live their lives.
#106 - combatgummybear
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
&lt; What goes on in the comments in every religion post.
< What goes on in the comments in every religion post.
#78 - popkornking
Reply -4
(05/22/2012) [-]
Okay, so if your criticizing god, then I assume you're an athiest, but that would mean you didn't believe in god so you couldn't make fun of a comparison between god and Hitler because you don't believe in... You know what never mind
#95 to #78 - hebs
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
just because he doesn't believe he is real doesn't mean he doesn't know the stories about god. they even wrote a book about it.
#96 to #78 - gammajk
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
I don't think mario is real but I can still call mario an italian faggot plumber twat
#61 - Namezone
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
okay, post places The Bible as fact, so i'll argue doing the same.

1: God gave all life in the first place, along with a set of rules. if said rules were broken, life was revoked. a contract system, just and fair since the single rule was: don't eat from that one tree over there, eat from any of the other hundreds of thousands. Conversely, Hitler had no right to take even a single life, including his own (it wasn't his to take, one reason suicide is a sin on the level of murder)

2: Humanity were warned. The Ark took one hundred years to build, and Noah was warning people. they made fun of him for building a boat and speaking about rain (to this point it never had) and flooding. they thought it would all go ahead as it always had, and they still had the chance to live if they just got onto the boat, which nobody besides Noah and his family did.

3: man was not corrupting God's plan for a perfect world, man was corrupting God's perfect man, and already had past the point or redemption for most. "And every thought of man was constantly on evil." there were people attaining celebrity status for killing other people for no real reason. a man named Lamech created a song about how he murdered a guy. God had a reason, and punished people not for who they were, but what they did. Hitler irrationally hated normal people for the sole reason of being born that way.

does this make OP's shortsighted addition to the atheistic belief-shoving fad seem any more silly? don't expect much of a reply, it's late around here.
#64 to #61 - skyrimnord
Reply -3
(05/22/2012) [-]
Atheists constantly claim to have a better knowledge of the bible than anyone else on here, Thanks for showing them wrong! Thumb up!
#68 to #61 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#77 to #68 - Namezone
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
if you have a child, the child is from your body, which is still not yours (as stated before) so it's still not your child and you didn't make it. it's yours in one way: in the sense that you are to take care of and have custody of it, but you do not own the child and have full rights to do whatever you want to it, nor to yourself.

Adam and Eve had no knowledge of good and evil. They did, however, know who God was, and could understand fully. you can understand if someone says "stay away from that tree over there, and if you eat it you'll die" and so could they. Adam and Eve doubted God, and disobeyed, those two acts are their sin. They had no sense of morality at all, but they did know to obey God, and they did know fully what they were doing when they ate the forbidden fruit. they didn't have to know it was wrong, they did have to and did know they were being disobedient. they didn't know it was inherently "wrong" to disobey. They did know, however, that they were supposed to stay away from that tree. they didn't know why, but they did know.
#88 to #77 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#99 to #88 - Namezone
Reply +1
(05/22/2012) [-]
in the case of an artificial intelligence, if given a command, and if the command is not followed, a punishment is doled out. it did not know of a right and wrong to following the command, only that it was to follow the command. it is moral in that case, to punish it, since it knew what was supposed to be done and did not.

they were given the tools to understand the consequences. they knew what they were and were not meant to do.

my belief on why the tree was there can be figured out by the following statement: "if there is no way to do evil, what use is a good action?"

man was created for God. in the shorter catechism, it is stated as follows: "Q: what is the chief end of man? A: Man's chief end is to glorify and enjoy God forever." we were made for God, for fellowship with Him. and we were given the opportunity to reject that, so that the choice of accepting it is given meaning. we were allowed to do wrong, so that it would have meaning when we do right. that's why the tree was there, and the option to sin was given, at least in my eyes.

God is in no way at fault for this, then. He gave the first human full ability to understand what they were told, and full reason to do so. He gave us the choice to do wrong, so that it would have meaning when we chose to do right (like when a friend gives you a gift. it's meaningless if you told them to give it to you) and so, it is fully the fault of Adam and Eve when they did wrong.
#278 to #99 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#71 to #68 - suddenlypotatoes
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
God told them to not eat from the tree
#72 to #71 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#75 to #72 - suddenlypotatoes
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
God and humans were in a much deeper relationship and in sync with each other, we knew much more and were much closer with God. When Adam and Eve disobeyed God, he took away that closeness to him, and thus instituting the necessity of Jesus and the Church: so that we may become closer with him, and so that we may reach eternal salvation with him
#76 to #75 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#81 to #76 - suddenlypotatoes
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
In Genesis 2:16-17 , God told Adam that he was free to eat from every tree in the garden, except the tree of knowledge of good and evil. God said that he would die if he ate the fruit.

There was no sin because humans were happier and together with God. Their disobedience created original sin and allowed for sin to enter the world.
#82 to #81 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#86 to #82 - suddenlypotatoes
Reply +1
(05/22/2012) [-]
It was wrong indeed. It was disobeying a direct command from their creator, and they were knowledgeable of this.
#90 to #86 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#93 to #90 - suddenlypotatoes
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Well, the story is a myth, so "they" didn't ever even exist...
but it is not for the plot so much as the idea. It is that God instituted a set of rules for us that we do have the knowledge of.
#259 to #93 - schifter
Reply +1
(05/22/2012) [-]
athiest owned by reason and logic.

#97 to #93 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#70 to #68 - suddenlypotatoes
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#74 to #68 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#85 to #74 - Namezone
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
it doesn't really make a difference if i would or would not have, for one thing, though i probably would not have. it's also a different situation, to use your scenario and make it a bit more accurate, it's a man who spent one hundred years building a shelter against this and is asking you to sit in it for one day. that i may very well have done.

murder was an example i used. the other things mentioned were sodomy, aldutery, zoophilia, thievery, and the like not only being performed but also glorified in song and theater. these are more acceptable in modern society, and thought as less immoral than murder, but they are all the same level of sin.

you assume not everyone could be murder-machines, and correctly, that would burn it all out. but, in the text, all men were corrupt and totally intent upon evil. everyone was the worst kind pf human, except Noah. deep down in their hearts, that's all they wanted: to sin. they could not have been rehabilitated, except by direct and immediate intervention taking away all free will and restructuring them from a free human into a robot, which God will not do for anyone. it's not murder when a man is sentenced to the Death Penalty, it is execution. They were punished for living in a way nobody should live, and by the only perfect being; the only one given the right to bestow judgement.
#94 to #85 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#103 to #94 - Namezone
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
how is it wrong for a man who has taken the life of another (or some other heinous crime) to have his life taken as punishment? either in a literal or virtual way? (being killed by the proper authorities after being convicted, or by working to replace the man he killed sold into either literal or virtual slavery, IE life sentence of hard labor or, in biblical times, or actual slavery [though even that slavery only lasted until the year of Jubilee when all slaves were set free, either to be hired by their former owner or to live their lives as they chose])
any other way would be forgiveness, which can only be done by the offended party.

i can understand how you believe all human deaths are murder, but some honestly and fully deserve death (all of us, in fact, according to The Bible, but i doubt you will agree with the why on that, so it can be dropped) even to modern morals. the fact is, there is a right and a wrong that we are born with and it's wrong to unduly take the life of another human being. In the same way, it is not wrong for the authorities set over men to justly take the life of a man who has sinned drastically and been caught in the act, or proven to have done so. The Bible has a set of guidelines for that, and places God as the one to carry out the judgement, and governments below to carry it out justly, or be guilty themselves and even more guilty, because they not only murdered, but they abused the power allowed them.
#261 to #103 - alphagarebear **User deleted account**
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#234 to #103 - draezeth
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
I love you. Friend request sent.
#227 to #61 - draezeth
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
Comment Picture
#514 to #61 - uhidk
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
but god doesn't exist, therefore none of that **** happened.
#128 to #61 - Ombra
Reply +2
(05/22/2012) [-]
Thank you for giving us Christians some brownie points :)
#92 to #61 - latinotornado
Reply +4
(05/22/2012) [-]
you seem very well educated and made us christians look good :) its people like you that make my day, thanks for being you buddy!
you seem very well educated and made us christians look good :) its people like you that make my day, thanks for being you buddy!
#100 to #92 - Namezone
Reply -1
(05/22/2012) [-]
thank you, i can thank my church, my pastor, and C.S. Lewis for most of this :)
#693 - jrook
Reply +3
(05/22/2012) [-]
Good thing God isnt real or I'd be a very afraid fearful and hateful person
#519 - Ihazfunkitty
Reply +3
(05/22/2012) [-]
********* in the commentsection
#522 to #519 - NecroBearRAWR
Reply 0
(05/22/2012) [-]
I'm not even gonna look past this comment.
#277 - benedicto
Reply +3
(05/22/2012) [-]
**benedicto rolled a random image posted in comment #24 at naughty bear is naughty **