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#206 - fadetometallica (08/14/2011) [-]
Best friend steals about $400 worth of **** from me, lies to me, and uses me.
I say I hope he dies to my other friend.
Nobody has seen him in five days, not even his family.
I feel terrible.
FML
#219 - joshthesuperiorone (08/14/2011) [-]
One time i shaved my pubes in my dads shower then finished showering and took a nap.When i woke up I heard [url deleted] dad was yelling at my mom for shaving in his shower and getting his sponge and entire shower full of pubes.Then I thought I was off...until my mom blamed me and i got really embarressed and had to say i did it because they could tell.Then i had the most awkward dinner of my life.FML
User avatar #215 - TehGirman (08/14/2011) [-]
Tie up the daughter and put her outside in the sun.
User avatar #211 - lolzpersonok (08/14/2011) [-]
Today, I got onto the city bus to go home. As I sat down, I began to imitate the way Asians speak Chinese/Japanese/English. I then heard a polite "excuse me" right beside me in clear English. Apparently a Chinese girl had watched the entire thing. Sitting right beside me. FML
#198 - brianandthetube (08/14/2011) [-]
during school, had to use bathroom, went to the urinal and went and whatnot. unfortunately, i pulled down my pants but not my boxers. had no change of clothes and it was the beginning of the day. i walked around with a giant piss stain in school all day as everyone laughed at me in the halls. FML
User avatar #194 - noobkillo (08/14/2011) [-]
Get a good grade for my English assignment, after class walk into the toilets needing to take a leak, listening to ipod whistling to parkway drive, try scream along with screamer but fail horribly, finish taking a leak and turn around to wash hands, asian caretaker lady standing at door way with a group of boys that need to clean graffiti. FML
#179 - cubanbigfoot (08/14/2011) [-]
And then nine months later after the girl wrapped her legs around the man to make sure she got pregnant, the man finally finds the girl, so he goes to her house, she opens the doors, he gets on the floor and says "Why did you do this to me?! I'm not financially ready for a baby!" She then looks at the guy and says, "Oh, it's you. Yeah I've been meaning to tell you that I was on the pill and I just wanted to **** with you. Guess it worked." She then kicks you out and you cry on her doorstep.

Now that would be a FML.
User avatar #177 - Shadowlordninek (08/14/2011) [-]
I went funnyjunk and didn't laugh. FML.
#173 - megustamooseta (08/14/2011) [-]
**megustamooseta rolls 15**
#103 - Jbonevan (08/14/2011) [-]
Parents just don't understand.
User avatar #95 - thortron (08/13/2011) [-]
Yesterday I was out with my best bro, we saw cap america then snuck into 30 minutes or Less. While there we kept joking around and stuff like that. I make a comment about how lucky I was my crazy ex-girlfriend wasn't there. Next thing I know someone punches me in the face and starts screaming about me being an asshole.
#80 - gerdinn (08/13/2011) [-]
Today, thinking I was being very generous, I lent my jacket to my new co-worker. I guess I should have checked my pockets before I did, I’m not sure that leaving 3 different flavors of condoms in them made a good impression.
#42 - dramakid (08/13/2011) [-]
wut
wut
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#221 - totalyjizzinmypant **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #122 - captainbeef (08/14/2011) [-]
those are really old FMLS but good ones :D
#44 - ledhendrix (08/13/2011) [-]
"You learn by your misstakes and by your eventual FML-excperienses." - Old Wise Man
#99 to #44 - Rascal (08/14/2011) [-]
"In 2000 years jesus will reincarnate and become a rihno"

-Whore from hooters, 84 B.C.
#25 - randumbemo (08/13/2011) [-]
I was at my friends house once and went to the bathroom and randomly remembered a pic of a naked girl wth big boobs.I got a boner, pulled down my jeans and started fapping.I did'nt think he would walk in on me because he was on his xbox.I was about to climax and then my friend walked with my hand on my dick and jizz on his bathroom mat. FML
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#21 - Sunset has deleted their comment [-]
-7
#104 - meglikescookies has deleted their comment [-]
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#119 to #104 - thespycrab **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #131 to #119 - meglikescookies (08/14/2011) [-]
Hey, I'm not OP.
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