NONONONO. Oc. Would you rather... at Be married to a Jersey Shore or Be married to a Real Housewife east , housemate member II' IDI' E EHEHEE. Be married Divorce
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NONONONO

Oc

Would you rather...
at Be married to a Jersey Shore or Be married to a Real Housewife east ,
housemate member
II' IDI' E EHEHEE
...
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Views: 10734
Favorited: 0
Submitted: 09/01/2012
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User avatar #13 - lavitts (09/02/2012) [-]
I'd marry the Jersey Shore member.
Then we'd have a kid.
Then I'd document every single irresponsible thing they did.
Then I'd collect the semen of whoever she cheats on me with.
Bring all of this up in divorce precedings.

She'll end up with nothing. I'll take her money, possessions, the house and kids. I'll even make sure she's held down for life in a dead end service industry job to pay child support on a co-signed agreement with her family. I'll raise the kid to be productive, responsible, and polite.

Finally, a day will come when she blames me (rightly so) for everything that's happened to her. She'll attempt to kill me. I'll let her come close before retaliating. She'll most likely be drunk, probably the factor that made her come after me in the first place. Her rage will also hinder her, not to mention my home-court advantage. If she has a gun, I'll have to ensure she misses. Coffee grounds, flour or some other ***** thrown into the eyes should work. I'll make sure my child knows 911 and has already dialed. Once my ex's attempt on my life has been soundly trounced, we'll have our second encounter in court. My video/audio surveillance equipment installed in the house should go nicely with the results of her breathalyzer test in providing the evidence needed to put her away.

Now I'll be able to raise my child the nurturing environment they deserve.

The end.
User avatar #14 to #13 - lavitts (09/02/2012) [-]
Addendum:
That co-signed agreement is important in that it not only ensures I continue to get my money, but should her attack on me fail through death, I won't have to worry.
User avatar #10 - zzforrest (09/02/2012) [-]
Jersey Shore
I'd get paid to beat up people and have sex.
User avatar #9 - Sockopolis (09/02/2012) [-]
Jersey Shore
At least shes something to look at, I suppose.
User avatar #8 - biggrand (09/02/2012) [-]
im a guy, id marry the situation, because he'd cheat on me with chicks, and id cheat on him and get girls because i can say i know him
#7 - corycool (09/02/2012) [-]
well, this is the closest i have come to front page yet, thanks guys :)
User avatar #6 - Himynameisjacob (09/02/2012) [-]
At least the Desperate Housewives aren't completely repulsive.
Marry her, record her cheating, divorce her, take the **** she got from her awful show.
#4 - potatoefire (09/02/2012) [-]
what website is this?
User avatar #2 - astraea (09/01/2012) [-]
Be married
Divorce
User avatar #3 to #2 - carneymaster (09/01/2012) [-]
After you prove one of them was cheating on you and you get all the money.
User avatar #11 to #3 - mrwalkerfour (09/02/2012) [-]
wouldn't be hard when you could find 5 different DNA on her tongue
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