NONONONO. Oc.. Be married Divorce NONONONO Oc Be married Divorce
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#2 - astraea
Reply +11
(09/01/2012) [-]
Be married
Divorce
#3 to #2 - carneymaster
Reply +1
(09/01/2012) [-]
After you prove one of them was cheating on you and you get all the money.
#11 to #3 - mrwalkerfour
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
wouldn't be hard when you could find 5 different DNA on her tongue
#1 - jasonhc
Reply +2
(09/01/2012) [-]
#13 - lavitts
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
I'd marry the Jersey Shore member.
Then we'd have a kid.
Then I'd document every single irresponsible thing they did.
Then I'd collect the semen of whoever she cheats on me with.
Bring all of this up in divorce precedings.

She'll end up with nothing. I'll take her money, possessions, the house and kids. I'll even make sure she's held down for life in a dead end service industry job to pay child support on a co-signed agreement with her family. I'll raise the kid to be productive, responsible, and polite.

Finally, a day will come when she blames me (rightly so) for everything that's happened to her. She'll attempt to kill me. I'll let her come close before retaliating. She'll most likely be drunk, probably the factor that made her come after me in the first place. Her rage will also hinder her, not to mention my home-court advantage. If she has a gun, I'll have to ensure she misses. Coffee grounds, flour or some other spice thrown into the eyes should work. I'll make sure my child knows 911 and has already dialed. Once my ex's attempt on my life has been soundly trounced, we'll have our second encounter in court. My video/audio surveillance equipment installed in the house should go nicely with the results of her breathalyzer test in providing the evidence needed to put her away.

Now I'll be able to raise my child the nurturing environment they deserve.

The end.
#14 to #13 - lavitts
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
Addendum:
That co-signed agreement is important in that it not only ensures I continue to get my money, but should her attack on me fail through death, I won't have to worry.
#10 - zzforrest
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
Jersey Shore
I'd get paid to beat up people and have sex.
#9 - Sockopolis
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
Jersey Shore
At least shes something to look at, I suppose.
#7 - corycool [OP] ONLINE
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
well, this is the closest i have come to front page yet, thanks guys :)
#6 - Himynameisjacob
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
At least the Desperate Housewives aren't completely repulsive.
Marry her, record her cheating, divorce her, take the **** she got from her awful show.
#4 - potatoefire
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
what website is this?
#5 to #4 - boobvag
Reply 0
(09/02/2012) [-]
#8 - biggrand
Reply -1
(09/02/2012) [-]
im a guy, id marry the situation, because he'd cheat on me with chicks, and id cheat on him and get girls because i can say i know him