The more you know!. Source: www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/2479730/The-worlds-oldest-jokes-revealed-by-university-research.html.. I don't know... I'm fairly certain that the ancient Romans and Greeks had jokes. oldest joke Dicks
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The more you know!

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Submitted: 02/08/2013
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Comments(200):

[ 200 comments ]
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User avatar #3 - Lambda (02/08/2013) [-]
I don't know... I'm fairly certain that the ancient Romans and Greeks had jokes.
User avatar #4 to #3 - megadethforever (02/08/2013) [-]
yeah there was one about people not liking talking to barbers, like nowadays
#5 to #4 - montybalboa (02/08/2013) [-]
Yeah, there was also one that went something like 'there has never once been a time when a woman did not fart when sat on her husbands lap'. So, in conclusion, this post is utter ******** .
0
#6 to #5 - toadsniffer **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #9 to #6 - ingabenwetrust (02/08/2013) [-]
Turkish
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#10 to #9 - toadsniffer **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#8 to #6 - montybalboa (02/08/2013) [-]
Yeeaaah think so, I probably heard it on QI
#7 to #3 - wrathofcraig (02/08/2013) [-]
I'm pretty sure they found jokes from Babylon too... needless to say that would be way older than 10th century
User avatar #175 to #3 - danrat (02/09/2013) [-]
Half life Picture.
#3
Half life 3 confirmed
User avatar #54 to #3 - traelos (02/09/2013) [-]
"If" is the oldest one I can think of.
#51 to #3 - anon (02/09/2013) [-]
I have the awnser my fellows! This the oldest english written joke. The oldes joke was a fart joke from i think babilon.
#19 - bigmanblue (02/09/2013) [-]
actualy the oldest written joke was written in persia around 2000 bc
its a one liner joke which makes very little sense in the modern world
roughly translated as
"once a young women sat on her husbands lap and did not fart"
yeah....not exactly hilarious but still
User avatar #130 to #19 - oceanfrank (02/09/2013) [-]
LOL THATS SO MALIK!
User avatar #161 to #19 - zeroqp (02/09/2013) [-]
I read about that in a news article about a year ago, but they said it was ancient Egypt.
#81 to #19 - analrapevictim (02/09/2013) [-]
I found that, quite interesting
#33 to #19 - jaquezable (02/09/2013) [-]
im guessing women farted on their husbands' laps often lol persians what dirty fuks
User avatar #119 to #33 - admiralen (02/09/2013) [-]
probably reference to anal
#139 - cometfire (02/09/2013) [-]
I know an older one.

"Ug jub daba di kik kik. Bu bwaba!"

I think it has something to do with rubbing your spear.
User avatar #109 to #1 - bonlino (02/09/2013) [-]
war money well spent!
User avatar #40 to #1 - stardustdragonlord (02/09/2013) [-]
It's funny because the last guy's gettin' ****** in the ass
User avatar #22 to #1 - trollins (02/09/2013) [-]
cllck?
User avatar #23 to #22 - trollins (02/09/2013) [-]
Never mind.

I am tardest.
User avatar #158 - flushfactor (02/09/2013) [-]
first yo mama joke

William Shakespeare used such a device in Act I Scene 1 of Timon of Athens:

Painter: "Y'are a dog."
Apemantus: "Thy mother's of my generation. What's she, if I be a dog?"

Also in Act IV, Scene II of Titus Andronicus, Aaron taunts his lover's sons:

Demetrius: "Villain, what hast thou done?"
Aaron: "That which thou canst not undo."
Chiron: "Thou hast undone our mother."
Aaron: "Villain, I have done thy mother.
#186 to #158 - veneficium (02/09/2013) [-]
Apemantus and Aaron
User avatar #199 to #186 - plainarcane **User deleted account** (02/09/2013) [-]
"Mad" meant crazy back in those days, though. So he's basically saying "are you nuts?"
#164 to #158 - augustusxxiv (02/09/2013) [-]
Audiences Face When
Audiences Face When
#46 - Gonnafly ONLINE (02/09/2013) [-]
When children Hear it
User avatar #104 - ararat ONLINE (02/09/2013) [-]
B.C. = before comedy
rite?
#91 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
MY BAD EVERYONE!   
Apparently this isn't the first joke ever - it's the first written English joke!   
Im sorry everyone!   
Forgive me!
MY BAD EVERYONE!
Apparently this isn't the first joke ever - it's the first written English joke!
Im sorry everyone!
Forgive me!
#162 to #91 - anon (02/09/2013) [-]
you have been misled into a snafu
#105 to #91 - TheBarrel (02/09/2013) [-]
But it's not written in English.
User avatar #114 to #105 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
It's Old English.
#115 to #114 - TheBarrel (02/09/2013) [-]
Which is closer to modern German than modern English.
#121 to #115 - anon (02/09/2013) [-]
English wasn't made suddenly you know,they are compiled words from other languages,and back in the 10th century,english are referred as Anglish.If you were to watch Vsauce english video,you would probably understand what I'm saying
User avatar #116 to #115 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
Reffer to title.
User avatar #95 to #91 - bogbean (02/09/2013) [-]
I forgive you
User avatar #102 to #95 - mortaleternity (02/09/2013) [-]
that's an interesting avatar you have there.
User avatar #98 to #91 - zependium (02/09/2013) [-]
how could you.... YOU WERE THE CHOSEN ONE!
User avatar #38 - KayRed (02/09/2013) [-]
*Oldest written joke.

I have a feeling dick jokes predate language (don't ask me how).
User avatar #44 to #38 - zramn (02/09/2013) [-]
I agree.. just how did they do it though...
Link so no ban for pics
24 DOT media DOT tumblr DOT com/tumblrmamkxqVKwq1rekz86o1250.gif
User avatar #92 to #38 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
Yes, thank you.
I didn't mention that, my bad!
#15 - capnwetnipples (02/09/2013) [-]
This image has expired
#136 to #15 - lolzordz (02/09/2013) [-]
they didnt ******* high five!?
+28
#27 to #15 - gatoradefucker **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #75 - sixty ONLINE (02/09/2013) [-]
**sixty rolled a random comment #77 posted by fedegon at They don't like me): ** :
I almost didn't get it.
Almost.
real first joke
#76 to #75 - ibleedbmx (02/09/2013) [-]
**ibleedbmx rolled a random image posted in comment #4 at Somewhere over the Rainbow ** sweet roll mr sixty
#79 to #76 - malhaloc (02/09/2013) [-]
Oh dear.
#82 to #79 - mogcat (02/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #83 to #82 - malhaloc (02/09/2013) [-]
I'm taking this. And you can't stop me.
User avatar #123 to #84 - vexaton (02/09/2013) [-]
A jpeg gif?! I have only heard about these in books!
#85 to #84 - malhaloc (02/09/2013) [-]
I am loving these.
I am loving these.
#87 to #85 - mogcat (02/09/2013) [-]
Good, because
Good, because
#88 to #87 - malhaloc (02/09/2013) [-]
Well...
Well...
#89 to #88 - mogcat (02/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#93 to #89 - malhaloc (02/09/2013) [-]
since you put it that way...nah couldn't quite hear you. say again?
since you put it that way...nah couldn't quite hear you. say again?
#94 to #93 - mogcat (02/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#99 to #96 - mogcat (02/09/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#212 to #211 - malhaloc (02/10/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
User avatar #34 - awesomenessdefined (02/09/2013) [-]
This is so stupid and factually inaccurate I think I might die.
#148 - elcreepo (02/09/2013) [-]
Actually, that's not the oldest joke. Greeks and Romans had tons of jokes, as did cultures before them. The oldest discovered joke is a one liner that makes no sense, which was written in 2000 BC.    
   
And Catullus' vulgar poetry was written around 60 BC.
Actually, that's not the oldest joke. Greeks and Romans had tons of jokes, as did cultures before them. The oldest discovered joke is a one liner that makes no sense, which was written in 2000 BC.

And Catullus' vulgar poetry was written around 60 BC.
User avatar #151 to #148 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
I THINK ALL OF YO WHOA RE TRYING TO EDUCATE ME SHOULD SEE TAHT I CORRECTED MYSELF SOME COMMENTS BELOW
#153 to #151 - sauced (02/09/2013) [-]
Shhh, you're on the front page
#155 to #153 - machinimax (02/09/2013) [-]
Well... I guess...
#47 - pariahlol (02/09/2013) [-]
10th ******* century? Your source is a little ******* off. This is ignoring so much literature and **** . I bet you 500 bucks I could find a joke in the Iliad. Also, at this point we would be descending into the dark ages if this is 10th century. Something referred to anglo-saxon would probably predate the 10th century by quite a bit. Just saiyan.
User avatar #55 - chuffberry (02/09/2013) [-]
TRUE STORY OF THE VERY FIRST LIMERICK:
there once was a man from Nantucket
whose dick was so big he could suck it
he said with a grin
as he wiped off his chin
"if my ear was a cunt, i could **** it"
#174 - mummyslittlebitch (02/09/2013) [-]
min innanearm!

(my sides)
#35 - deathrinder (02/09/2013) [-]
*********** dont know how **** went down back in the feudal hood
#156 - wantabeer (02/09/2013) [-]
The oldest joke is actually about a woman farting in her husbands lap.

Not to burst your bubble or anything, but just because the UK news said it doesn't mean it's true.
User avatar #159 to #156 - pianoasis (02/09/2013) [-]
yep

fart jokes came first
#50 - fuckyosixtyminutes (02/09/2013) [-]
Nobody ever made a joke before the 10th century? I find that hard to believe.
User avatar #53 to #50 - climatus (02/09/2013) [-]
maybe the world's first joke to be recorded in writing?
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