Politeness. . iam-. I remember that contract. He was so damn polite I was just like. "Okay I'm just going to murder you as softly... as... possib - (hits him) OH JESUS I CUT O
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#28 - tailsx (07/22/2012) [-]
I killed him and took all his books...
User avatar #39 to #28 - thebronyman (07/22/2012) [-]
I took his kingly Emperor robes and peruse the nearby town to show them to everyone
User avatar #63 to #28 - dustyshane (07/22/2012) [-]
He had a one-of-a-kind gilded Bracers in his bedroom.
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#89 to #28 - Natelawl has deleted their comment [-]
#33 to #28 - BrayBoy ONLINE (07/22/2012) [-]
I took all his clothes.
I looked fly as hell while I dragged his corpse to his bed ...
#104 to #28 - Rascal (07/22/2012) [-]
I took much more this his books...
#114 to #104 - tailsx (07/22/2012) [-]
Then a random guard walks in
Then a random guard walks in
#157 to #104 - anserine (07/22/2012) [-]
**anserine rolled a random image posted in comment #7023921 at My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic Discussion Forum **

SO I STABBED THE ****** AND TOOK HIS BOOKS
#191 to #104 - silverlance (07/23/2012) [-]
Oh god this made me laugh than anything on the front page
Oh god this made me laugh than anything on the front page
#32 to #28 - ribsarntsogood (07/22/2012) [-]
i put a cabbage on all of my victims
User avatar #408 to #32 - superlolcopter (07/23/2012) [-]
I had the same idea. I was putting the dragon tongue flower, since I am the dragonborn.
User avatar #16 - cupotruth ONLINE (07/22/2012) [-]
I remember that contract.

He was so damn polite I was just like.

"Okay I'm just going to murder you as softly... as... possib - (hits him) OH JESUS I CUT OF YOUR HEAD."
#269 - BeaverBalls (07/23/2012) [-]
im going to be honest i didnt like anything about the skyrim dark brotherhood, none of the contracts ever made me feel like a skilled assassin, there was never a reward for actually being a silent assassin and doing your job with no one noticing. the whole thing could be done by some random nord with a claymore. and to make it just that much worse the leader of the whole sanctuary abandoned the old ways of the dark brotherhood and just embraced gold. she wanted me to kill the only member who still embraced the old ways, i am so glad that that cunt died


tl;dr i complain like a little fanboy bitch


pic related its a cunt
User avatar #338 to #269 - halor (07/23/2012) [-]
ya i enjoyed the who done it quest your given in Oblivion and was kind of hoping for another one like that...still found the quest slightly enjoyable minus the one that was less of an assassination and more of you hacking your way through a dwemer ruin to find one guy, then having the choice of hacking your way through the rest of it or walking out the way you came
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#343 to #269 - turiantoaster has deleted their comment [-]
#344 to #269 - turiantoaster (07/23/2012) [-]
assassin's creed ftw. and honestly how easy could it have been for general tulius to get assassinated? You literaly walk in the front door and the leader of the army in all of skyrim is standing right there, unprotected...
#271 to #269 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
I guess I'm the only one who forgave Astrid.
-6
#294 to #271 - BeaverBalls has deleted their comment [-]
#301 to #294 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
"i guess you are retard" Are you ******* kidding me.jpg
-5
#307 to #301 - BeaverBalls has deleted their comment [-]
#311 to #307 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
You think I suffer brain damage, yet you can't use grammar? Jesus ******* christ, people get dumber by the day.
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#313 to #311 - BeaverBalls has deleted their comment [-]
#330 to #313 - ohemgeezus (07/23/2012) [-]
jokes usually imply humor, blatantly calling someone a retard =/= a joke
#341 to #313 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
Doesn't change the fact you can't use grammar for **** .
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#308 to #307 - BeaverBalls has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #287 to #271 - holycrapimacupcake (07/23/2012) [-]
Yes. That bitch sold me out!
#291 to #287 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
So? Alot of people would have sold you out if they had the balls, thank god Astrid grew some and ******* did!
User avatar #303 to #291 - holycrapimacupcake (07/23/2012) [-]
Yes but she betrayed the family, you just don't do that.
#309 to #303 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
Only reason I forgave her was because her death was sad as **** , if it hadn't been I would have been pissed for being asked to kill the keeper (forgot name) and being betrayed.
User avatar #312 to #309 - holycrapimacupcake (07/23/2012) [-]
I killed Cicero because he also betrayed the family.
#340 to #312 - snipesalot (07/23/2012) [-]
I killed him, but regreted it later.
User avatar #296 to #269 - ThaJewBoy (07/23/2012) [-]
If you're an archer I had fun with it, Sneak up on people about 50 yards away or so, zoom in, slow down time. BAM. Dead. I thought it was fun at least...and yea, she was a major cunt...
#373 to #269 - Rascal (07/23/2012) [-]
The only reason why I killed Cicero was because he hurt Arnbjorn. Hey, I had to defend my packmate, no matter how much of an ass he was.
User avatar #15 - nsfwcontent (07/22/2012) [-]
I killed him then took his robes, put them on and strolled around like I owned the place; and with 100 destruction nobody who argues survived :L
#324 - moneybag (07/23/2012) [-]
I tried to capture his soul with a soul gem but for some reason it didnt catch it. No soul gem could hold the balls of that man. I
#352 to #324 - Rascal (07/23/2012) [-]
Did you try a black soul gem? 'Cause if that didn't work then weird.
#329 to #324 - ohemgeezus (07/23/2012) [-]
Shoulda brought along a....master gem
right?
anyone?
#123 - akkere (07/22/2012) [-]
Feels like every time you do something against the Imperials, you can't help but feel wrong about it.

Like I go to Ulfric Stormcloak's place thinking he's like this badass freedom fighter whose super cool and **** , and then he's all like
"If they're not with me they're against me. If we have to crush them, then so be it."

I go to do the assassination of the Emperor, thinking he's like this tyrant asshole whose gonna cast spells at me screaming "UNLIMITED POWER"
And I get this nice old man who doesn't even try to fight.

I kind of wish there was a side quest where you could just eradicate the Thalmor from Skyrim, because that was the only real problem with the Imperials. Maybe they'll do that as a DLC, because both sides seem to kind of oppose the Aldmeri Dominion in one way or another.
#270 to #123 - Rascal (07/23/2012) [-]
i didn't wait for dlc. i killed everyone in the thalmor embassy. everyone. no regrets.
User avatar #310 to #270 - sirgawain (07/23/2012) [-]
Killing people at an Embassy doesn't get rid of them, though. If anything, that'll make the thalmor more angry.
User avatar #378 to #123 - fadetometallica (07/23/2012) [-]
As a Nord, I picked Stormcloaks. I believed that the Aldmeri had no right to say who everyone should worship, especially for speciesist reasons.
I would always go through the Gray Quarter and sneak expensive armor I found into the Dark Elves' pockets though, so they could sell it and get some more money. I hated Ulfric's attitude toward other species, especially the Dark Elves, but I think that was better than having a whole nation be oppressed by elves from thousands of miles away.
#426 to #123 - Rascal (07/23/2012) [-]
I'm a dark elf and I will probably join Ulfric. I don't really like the Imperials, and I don't have any sort of allegiance for the Stormcloaks and I hate the Thalmor, such assholes. I would just join them for the quests to take out the cities. I love chaos. I play as a psycho out for myself, killing anyone in my way to get what riches I want. Although I am nice to the beggars and I give them some coin when I see them.




User avatar #142 to #123 - goldenpotato (07/22/2012) [-]
I really don't feel like that would be a good idea, story wise. Maybe in the next game, they're gone, or that is the storyline for the next game, but a side-quest? DLC? It'd feel a bit rushed.
User avatar #149 to #142 - akkere (07/22/2012) [-]
As a side quest it'd be rushed. But as a DLC, I could see it. Maybe not eradicate, per se, but at the very least pushed back to wherever the Aldmeri Dominion is stationed at.
If the DLC wasn't so much a DLC but as a legitimate expansion like The Shimmering Isles.
User avatar #153 to #149 - goldenpotato (07/22/2012) [-]
Agreed.
User avatar #362 to #123 - admiralen ONLINE (07/23/2012) [-]
i just joined the empire since ulfric has the worst voice actor ever
User avatar #141 to #123 - thedutchs ONLINE (07/22/2012) [-]
I joined the side of the Imperials because Ulfric would just have been another tyrant.

The Empire is the only force that can oppose the Aldmeri if only everyone pulled in the same direction...
User avatar #151 to #141 - akkere (07/22/2012) [-]
Yeah, it seemed like everyone was right about Ulfric the whole time. I couldn't understand how the Nords would support him, even seemingly sensible ones like Gerdur and her brother.

Maybe they were just hyped up from the anger against the Aldmeri Dominion and the outlaw of Talos worship.
User avatar #159 to #123 - corundum (07/22/2012) [-]
Skyrim may deserve independence, but not under that douche, and not now, when Tamriel needs unity most.
User avatar #165 to #123 - ishalltroll (07/22/2012) [-]
Ulfric Stormcloak is like the Adolf Hitler of Tamriel, have you been to the "grey quarter"? Holy **** that ****** like a goddamn nazi ghetto in poland.
#152 to #123 - Japsterise (07/22/2012) [-]
I chose Ulfric, not knowing that he'd be an asshole. I think I only chose him for the house. (Pic related)
#160 to #152 - shcifter (07/22/2012) [-]
You can get the house if you win the imperial war.
#86 - lawuser (07/22/2012) [-]
Felt the same way after I took Whiterun as a Stormcloak. I felt bad that I betrayed Balgruuf's trust 'cause he was a huge bro
User avatar #31 - FelipeRuiz (07/22/2012) [-]
I killed the ****** and took his socks.
#228 - nicholashovis (07/23/2012) [-]

>mfw the captain that tried to ambush me after killing the fake emperor and said he was going to kill brotherhood.
User avatar #150 - myrtille ONLINE (07/22/2012) [-]
I stripped him and wore his clothes in Solitude, bitch from Radiant Raiment STILL told me I looked like **** .
User avatar #218 to #150 - rollertoaster (07/23/2012) [-]
After the party quest, I came back and shanked her bitch ass
#18 - killerdeath (07/22/2012) [-]
If you fail at reverse pickpocketing him he goes on the attack for 2 swings then hides in his bedroom.
#208 - asdasdzxczxc ONLINE (07/23/2012) [-]
I bet no one noticed the "the the"   
   
<pic unrelated
I bet no one noticed the "the the"

<pic unrelated
#122 - trampballs (07/22/2012) [-]
I stole his clothes and was shocked to see how ******* ripped the old guy was
User avatar #168 to #122 - ishalltroll (07/22/2012) [-]
Every man in Skyrim is ripped and has the most badass abs ever..
User avatar #148 to #122 - yaarun (07/22/2012) [-]
like king bumi from TLA
#380 - Rascal (07/23/2012) [-]
"The the"
User avatar #112 - chewbama (07/22/2012) [-]
It's even weirder, because after I did it, I joined the empire, and they don't give a **** .
User avatar #119 to #100 - sgc (07/22/2012) [-]
but the cyan works fine and it's a nice change.
#26 - reaperboy ONLINE (07/22/2012) [-]
slay everyone on the boat with out being seen. walk into emperor's room shoot in face with arrow before the first word exits his mouth. jump into water and swim away like a boss. no regrets. no one tricks the dovahkiin
User avatar #337 - unncommon (07/23/2012) [-]
I didn't talk to him. I just stood over him holding a mirror whilst he bled out on the floor.

I wanted him to see himself dying...

...slowly...

...ever so slowly...
#354 to #337 - dudicle (07/23/2012) [-]
oh that sounds so hawt..
User avatar #240 to #239 - tiberioustyphr (07/23/2012) [-]
I had a legit 'What the ***** moment when I first heard that in-game. I stared at that guard for ten seconds.
User avatar #246 to #240 - halor (07/23/2012) [-]
its funnier when the guard who arrested you is the one who says hail sithis
#237 - tiberioustyphr (07/23/2012) [-]
&lt;MFW I had to kill the Emperor.   
Manly nod of respect.
<MFW I had to kill the Emperor.
Manly nod of respect.
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