So I took a ****. Just like any other week. Because I'm constipated or something I don't know. And all of a sudden I hear my ass cry. My flatulence and the cow I had eaten a few hours prior were trying to squeeze out of my anus and their screams were flapping my asshole's walls against the two logs of **** I had in my rectum. As I squeezed as hard as I could, I could've sworn I slightly pissed on the toilet. I got one log out, but my asshole only felt more full. I held my breath as I heaved the second giant turd out of my anus. I heard a familiar "ker-plunk" and sighed in relief. I went to take my first sheet of toilet paper to wipe, thinking about how hard my asshole hurt. I wiped once, twice, and on the third, I was done. Good thing too because my asshole was on fire. I pulled my pants up, washed my hands for 3 seconds, and grabbed some chips to eat. As I sat down, I couldn't help but feel like Sasha Grey had somehow switched assholes with me. I hurt so bad I had to lay on my side. And I couldn't even finger my asshole to masturbate that day.