wat. I've only just remembered this happening. Was in school when I read this up; figured I'd post on here when I'd remembered. So yeah. That happened... mfw a dead guy gets more pussy than me
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wat

wat. I've only just remembered this happening. Was in school when I read this up; figured I'd post on here when I'd remembered. So yeah. That happened... mfw a dead guy gets more pussy than me

I've only just remembered this happening. Was in school when I read this up; figured I'd post on here when I'd remembered.

So yeah. That happened.

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Views: 59495
Favorited: 132
Submitted: 03/14/2013
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Comments(264):

[ 264 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#7 - oceanguygw (03/14/2013) [-]
mfw a dead guy gets more pussy than me
mfw a dead guy gets more pussy than me
User avatar #106 to #7 - wakeup (03/14/2013) [-]
he probably doesn't cum as much as you do anyhow
User avatar #209 to #106 - oceanguygw (03/15/2013) [-]
lol um, thanks
User avatar #25 to #7 - carnagejc (03/14/2013) [-]
Chances are if she is ******* a corpse she is not much of a prize...
#27 - punmeister (03/14/2013) [-]
Dead guy's face when.
Dead guy's face when.
User avatar #32 - nockae (03/14/2013) [-]
>Dead Serious News
>Mourning Glory Mortuary
>Felicity Marmaduke
Riiight.
#31 - dafuckisthishit (03/14/2013) [-]
he is dead, and he is getting more pussy than me....
User avatar #65 - xdiabolicx (03/14/2013) [-]
That kid is gonna be so ****** up.
#52 - shutes (03/14/2013) [-]
#24 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
Simple physiology lesson. No heart beat, no blood flow, no blood flow, no erection...

Hint: Dead Serious News is a satirical website that is updated on an irregular basis. With the exception of the names of public figures, all names are fictional.
User avatar #54 to #24 - thegrohltroll (03/14/2013) [-]
I love you for two reasons:
-using science and logic to prove this wrong
-your profile picture
#89 to #24 - anon (03/14/2013) [-]
Do yourself a favor and research the term 'Rigor Mortis.'

Also, take a look at comment #38.

#266 to #89 - Hightower (03/15/2013) [-]
Rigor mortis is the stiffening of muscle and cartilage after death. Seeing as how the penis contains neither of those, rigor mortis would not affect the penis..
User avatar #128 to #24 - jordanish (03/14/2013) [-]
It is possible (though uncommon) for a corpse to have a temporary erection. By applying pressure on the gut or torso to move blood into the penis (hence how you can even have necrophiliac heterosexual women). It is however pretty much impossible to cause ejaculation because orgasm is based on stimulation which requires living nerve cells (which a corpse is somewhat lacking in)
This article is probably partially correct (she may indeed have had sex with the corpse) but I really doubt she got pregnant as a result
#229 to #24 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
link related: [url deleted]
#263 to #24 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
It's still possible to get an erection when dead. That's what a post mortem erection is...
#26 to #24 - comehonorfacetwice (03/14/2013) [-]
Simple legal lesson: no matter how ****** up her crime was, the doctor can't break confidentiality and tell police what she did.
#28 to #26 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
If there was a crime involved a doctor can, and usually will break confidence. EX: You tell your doctor that you killed your wife, your doctor is legally bound to call the police.
User avatar #37 to #28 - douthit (03/14/2013) [-]
Yup.
#30 to #28 - comehonorfacetwice (03/14/2013) [-]
"Physician–patient privilege is a legal concept, related to medical confidentiality, that protects communications between a patient and his or her doctor from being used against the patient in court."

"The privilege may cover the situation where a patient confesses to a psychiatrist that he or she committed a particular crime."

wikipedia article on it
#34 to #30 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
You're confusing confidentiality with privilege. Priests and lawyers have privileged information they can't divulge, the murder confession being an example (and it applies only to priests in a formal confession, not informal discussion). Confidentiality is somewhat weaker. Also, each state has specific statutory exceptions: for instance, gunshot wounds or suspected child abuse require a report to the authorities.

Wikipedia is not a good source for information like this. The American Medical Association says:
Safeguarding patient confidences also is subject to certain exceptions that are ethically and legally justified because of overriding social considerations. If there is a reasonable probability that a patient will inflict serious bodily harm on another person, for example, the physician should take precautions to protect the intended victim and notify law enforcement authorities. Communicable diseases and gunshot and knife wounds should be reported as required by applicable statutes or ordinances. Thus, the physician's duty of confidentiality at times must give way to a stronger countervailing societal interest.
#35 to #34 - comehonorfacetwice (03/14/2013) [-]
Always just followed what law and order said, thank you for that.
#36 to #35 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
No problem.
No problem.
#40 to #24 - atrumaliger (03/14/2013) [-]
The story can be found in several other places. Just for the sake of argument.
#41 to #40 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
First published in 2010 on Dead Serious News. Just because it's on the internet does not make it true, unless you're completely retarded and lack any critical thinking skills.
Or you could, I don't know, do 30 seconds worth of research, maybe look at a basic anatomy book to figure out how the human circulatory system works..
I'll make this easy for you...
http://www.snopes.com/politics/satire/stiffed.asp
#42 to #41 - atrumaliger (03/14/2013) [-]
Are you saying people on the internet lie!?
#44 to #42 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
Not everyone...
Not everyone...
#45 to #44 - atrumaliger (03/14/2013) [-]
How do I know you're not lying about that? OR ABOUT THE OTHER THING YOU SAID, OH MY GOD.
How do I know you're not lying about that? OR ABOUT THE OTHER THING YOU SAID, OH MY GOD.
#47 to #45 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
You can't unless you have the ability to look for yourself.     
Or I could just say I never lie, which may itself be a lie. Then again if I told you I always lie, I would be telling the truth and therefore lying.
You can't unless you have the ability to look for yourself.
Or I could just say I never lie, which may itself be a lie. Then again if I told you I always lie, I would be telling the truth and therefore lying.
#48 to #47 - atrumaliger (03/14/2013) [-]
UNLESS, you're telling the truth. In which your lies would be forced to separate from our perception of reality.
#50 to #48 - Hightower (03/14/2013) [-]
Unless my reality is different from your reality, so my lies would be forced from my reality to yours...
#267 to #50 - atrumaliger (03/15/2013) [-]
That's true enough. Too many options on what might do what.
User avatar #56 to #24 - mcfunkdaddy (03/14/2013) [-]
#38 - deadmeme (1 hour ago)
4. Erections and Ejaculation

When the heart stops forcing the blood around the body, it pools in whatever area is lowest. Sometimes people die standing up and sometimes people die lying face down. I think everyone here has enough spatial reasoning to understand what kind of blood pooling that would encourage. Meanwhile, for all that talk of relaxing muscles after death, it doesn't last forever. Certain types of muscle cells are activated by calcium ions. After activation, the cells expend energy putting the calcium ions back outside the cell. After death, the membranes become more permeable to calcium and the cells don't expend as much energy to push the ions out, so the muscles contract. This does lead to rigor mortis and can lead to ejaculation. It's real. It happens. Now let's never think of it again.

^Taken from io9.com/5862418/10-bodily-functions-that-continue-after-death
+29
#38 - deadmeme **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#3 - waffies (03/14/2013) [-]
U wot m8?
User avatar #130 - iliekcereal (03/14/2013) [-]
This guy is dead and he has an easier time getting laid than me.
#29 - maddboiy (03/14/2013) [-]
wut
#19 - heafi (03/14/2013) [-]
Why am I not suprised that John Locke could pull that off.
#141 - getsheadfromdolan (03/14/2013) [-]
This image has expired
im surprised she didnt claim rape
#200 to #141 - anon (03/15/2013) [-]
It's kind of hard for a fictional person to claim rape.
User avatar #14 to #2 - ezmack (03/14/2013) [-]
I just saw that episode not even an hour ago!
User avatar #217 - localbees (03/15/2013) [-]
Could that be counted as rape, because the dead guy didn't have a choice?
#265 - tehrealfluttershy (03/15/2013) [-]
>Rapes dead guy
>Gets pregnant
>Sues dead guy

Murica'

(Don't get all burt hurt, I'm american and you guys know this is ******** and pretty much only happens here.)
#192 - scrax (03/15/2013) [-]
MOURNING Glory Mortuary.
#85 - bigredthunder (03/14/2013) [-]
John you cant impregnate someone, you're dead!

Don't tell me what I can't do.
#77 - thexiled (03/14/2013) [-]
...Will the kid be a zombie?
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