What's the difference between a priest and ******** ?

One of them is a bear.

What's the difference between a truck load of bowling balls and a truck load of babies?
You can't unload the bowling balls with a pitchfork

What's better than nine babies nailed to a tree?
One baby nailed to nine trees

How do you fit a thousand babies into a phone booth?
A blender
How do you get them out?
Nachos

How do you keep a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off of its head

How do you keep a baby from running in circles?
Nail its other foot to the ground

How do you stop a baby that fell off a cliff?
A pitchfork

What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline?

You take your boots off before you jump on the trampoline.