MATTRESSES HAVE TAKEN OVER THE WORLD. ....how long was I in there?.. >after a two-hour >how long was I in there? No comment. bathroom mattress Holy shit they finally took over the world
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#2 - templarofsteel
Reply +109
(05/03/2013) [-]
>after a two-hour ****
>how long was I in there?

No comment.
#7 to #2 - kingpongthedon
Reply +8
(05/04/2013) [-]
3 hours.
#10 - AliCattLovee
Reply +7
(05/04/2013) [-]
Who has 2 hour *****.. ?
#23 to #10 - fedegon
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
Someone with intestines that I pity.
#11 to #10 - templarofsteel
Reply +51
(05/04/2013) [-]
Someone who takes their gameboy with them.
#25 - gjaa
Reply +20
(05/04/2013) [-]
Looks like someone didn't want toilet you out!
#36 to #25 - darthjangopwnz
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
**** you carlos.
#3 - losglatzos
Reply +18
(05/03/2013) [-]
nice stains
#5 to #3 - usernamecannotload
Reply +4
(05/04/2013) [-]
#8 to #3 - gallifreyan
Reply +6
(05/04/2013) [-]
I am aware of the misspelling.
#9 to #8 - losglatzos
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
doesn´t really mattress to meeeee
#39 - demjimmies
Reply +10
(05/04/2013) [-]
Take gameboy into washroom.

Come back out
#16 - vedgetable
Reply +4
(05/04/2013) [-]
hey guys, im a bit worried
yesterday i drunk a lot of **** (4 beers, a shot of absinth, shot of jager, and a shot cocnut rum)
and now im i cant stop ********, this is irregulair with my usual hangovers, anyone explain? or help?
im feeling ****** up and i got to meet up with a girl tonite probrebly
pic... related? of some sorts
#20 to #16 - toughactintinactin
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
What did you eat? That might be able to account for some of it.
#27 to #20 - vedgetable
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
mcflurry,
#21 to #16 - anon
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
you'll be fine man up, take some paracetamol and a beer.
#29 to #16 - andnowducks
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
Dear Vedgetable
Go figure out your own problems/ask 4chan, FunnyJunk is not your therapist.

-Most of FunnyJunk
#33 to #29 - vedgetable
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
i won't go on 4chan, you ******* faggot ****.
nobody forced you to help me, neither has anyone chosen you as a spokes person.

-Vedgetable

PS.
What the **** did you just ******* say about me, you little bitch? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I'm the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the **** out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ******* words. You think you can get away with saying that **** to me over the Internet? Think again, ******. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You're ******* dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little ****. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little "clever" comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your ******* tongue. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now you're paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will **** fury all over you and you will drown in it. You're ******* dead, kiddo.


mistyped my firstone.
#42 to #33 - ownzer [OP]
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
#34 to #33 - andnowducks
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
Well then if we didn't help you, you'd be most probably like "Hurr durr why didn't you help me?"
#35 to #34 - vedgetable
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
no.
i would not, i actually just asked advice seeing i drank a lot of alcohol, and seeing you know, most people here are human and also go out, (probrebly like to drink also) have expierience with this,
i would have called my ******* doctor if this **** was real sirious, but it seemed minor and i wanted to just be sure, plus sharing stories is what this site is all about.

if we didnt do that you would be like: "hurr durr now i have to go outside and find actual friends", maybe you would get ****** up and have a minor issue and not be sure if its really something and ask,,, oh wait. where not therapists (dont se how a therapist knows wtf is going on with my body but hey, you are such a smart faggot you must know what youre talkin about)
#31 to #29 - vedgetable
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#32 to #16 - andnowducks
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
Kay, don't go on 4chan, figure out your own problems.
#24 to #16 - moshthun
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
Ehm, your body goes into hyperdrive, the liver has to work hard, extremely hard, to clean your body up, so you need more energy, a lot more energy, to supply the liver. Because of this you will digest stuff faster, which means you will need to **** faster, all that **** won't stay around in your ass, it wants to get out. So you better **** a lot, eat fueling food (carbohydrates, fibres, fats) and **** all day long. Oh, call her and tell her that you aren't feeling to well and that you better have the date later.

Seriously, don't drink that much or your liver might **** up and fail.
#22 to #16 - kaiizel
Reply +4
(05/04/2013) [-]
See a doctor instead of asking strangers on the internet who range from 12 - 20 year olds you dumb ****.
#26 to #22 - vedgetable
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
imma write that one down
#17 to #16 - kingpara
Reply +5
(05/04/2013) [-]
Just **** out all your ****. Because if you have **** out all of your **** you won't be able to **** more ****.
#18 to #17 - vedgetable
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
i am afraid to fart.
#19 to #18 - kingpara
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
Okay, then just ram a buttplug up your ass.
#30 - imalex
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
you were barckaded for your own safety, while you where on the toilet the zombie apocalypse struck. you're the only survivor in your family
#41 to #30 - donutzrawsum
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
Gonna go out on a limb and guess here. Barricaded?
#46 to #41 - limb
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
I'm gonna go out on a limb and ask you out to a movie.
#44 to #41 - navadae
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
the man clearly meant barkaded.. like with dogs. come on, get with the program!
#47 to #44 - imalex
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
oh my god I never knew I could spell that bad
#48 to #47 - donutzrawsum
Reply +1
(05/05/2013) [-]
This posted was aided by dogs.
~BARK!
#28 - corso
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
...Do you take a camera with you every time you ****?
#37 to #28 - holmesyderp
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
probably a phone
#38 to #28 - LiveDarkness
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
We actually call those mystical devices "cellphones". ******** without them results in reading shampoo bottles.
#40 to #38 - pdvamp
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
i lol'd cuz its true if i don't have something to distract me i'll start reading whatever is already in the bathroom even toothpaste tubes
#45 to #40 - cakezs
Reply 0
(05/04/2013) [-]
I've read toothpaste tubes, soap dispensers, and even tissue boxes...
#49 to #38 - darthdingo ONLINE
Reply 0
(05/05/2013) [-]
I've read the instructions on my sister's hair-dye twice. I'm confident I can dye her hair now.
#12 - tomijuju
Reply +2
(05/04/2013) [-]
2 hour ****? people might think that i might be dead or masturbating if i stayed in the bathroom for 2 hours
#15 - Happiness
Reply +1
(05/04/2013) [-]
MFW I've been in the toilet for a long haul **** and just gone out
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