Imagine going through that every time.... ... not just whene you're in the hospital.. I have a nurse story. >be me >my pet loves to fight with the neighborhood pets >always going to vet >go to vet one day >meet cute and really nice wank hospital nurse sides cant breathe done
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#31 - deathcampforjewtie
Reply +806
(05/23/2013) [-]
I have a nurse story.

>be me
>my pet loves to fight with the neighborhood pets
>always going to vet
>go to vet one day
>meet cute and really nice nurse
>nothing else really happened, leave
>go to a different place two weeks later
>she's working there
>"oh hey, long time no see."
>she doesn't remember me
>claims to never have worked there
>think I did something wrong
>get sad
>she keeps working there
>start seeing her around the old place now too
>wat.jpg
>seriously getting disturbed
>the worst part is that my Oddish is underleveled.
#226 to #31 - vegetatheprince
Reply +3
(05/24/2013) [-]
#227 to #31 - ironsoul
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
#166 to #31 - astrozombies **User deleted account**
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
You earned it. You got me. God dammit.
#209 to #31 - daftiduck
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
#129 to #31 - aerosol
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
#46 to #31 - iespls
-1
has deleted their comment [-]
#244 to #31 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces is so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
#163 to #31 - scouts
Reply +14
(05/24/2013) [-]
god dammit   
   
you sly bastard
god dammit

you sly bastard
#48 to #31 - anonefgthree
Reply +18
(05/24/2013) [-]
How is this not top comment? That was real good
#50 to #48 - kabageguy
Reply +21
(05/24/2013) [-]
Because its only 55 minutes old
#109 to #31 - androiddxx
Reply +28
(05/24/2013) [-]
You. *******. Had me.   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
Cheeky bastard.
You. *******. Had me.











Cheeky bastard.
#94 to #31 - hektoroftroy
Reply +30
(05/24/2013) [-]
#41 to #31 - myfist
Reply +48
(05/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#90 to #31 - dafuckisthisshit
Reply +51
(05/24/2013) [-]
theres been so much pokemon stuff on here lately, i was actually thinking nurse joy but halfway through the story i was convinced it had nothing to do with her.
MRW the last line
#95 to #90 - upyourarsinal
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
hey there!
#159 to #90 - pandasarekawai
Reply -10
(05/24/2013) [-]
yeah dude, i mean like da **** is this ****. Am i right?=
#238 to #159 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
no
#34 to #31 - CargeLock
Reply +57
(05/23/2013) [-]
#222 to #31 - cupotruth
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
THAT WAS AWESOME
THAT WAS AWESOME
#54 to #31 - onmitsukido
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
i was completely lost. was never into pokemon. had to google what an Oddish was, then i understood...i suppose its kind of funny though
#234 to #31 - deathcampforjewtie
Reply +13
(05/24/2013) [-]
I will never ever get an opportunity to use this again.
I will never ever get an opportunity to use this again.
#220 to #31 - lolphantomx
0
has deleted their comment [-]
#67 to #31 - megustan
Reply +11
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#65 to #31 - bighairyfart
Reply +57
(05/24/2013) [-]
That took me way too long to understand.
#230 to #31 - rprol
Reply +10
(05/24/2013) [-]
YFW all these thumbs
#241 to #31 - imsohigh
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
nice.
#116 to #31 - Blackyy **User deleted account**
+10
has deleted their comment [-]
#176 to #31 - heartgoldawesome
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#100 to #31 - doodnotheface
Reply +10
(05/24/2013) [-]
Oh man that was good ...
#51 to #31 - captiancook
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
That took me too long to figure out. I'm gonna go sit in the corner.
#215 to #31 - hipsophobadon
Reply +9
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#225 to #31 - kschmidty
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#210 to #31 - heeveejeevees
Reply +9
(05/24/2013) [-]
Dear god i love this
Dear god i love this
#237 to #31 - markusantonius
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#239 to #237 - deathcampforjewtie
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
That loops almost perfectly.
That loops almost perfectly.
#242 to #239 - articulate
Reply -1
(05/24/2013) [-]
Loop thread?
Loop thread?
#229 to #31 - stringfingerable
Reply +8
(05/24/2013) [-]
You sneaky son of a ****
#68 to #31 - brettyoke
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
I really don't understand it. I know what an Oddish is. What am I missing?
#69 to #68 - deathcampforjewtie
Reply +8
(05/24/2013) [-]
It was Nurse Joy.....
#71 to #69 - brettyoke
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
Ohhhhhhh. Bless your soul. I guess the oddish is just a way to bring pokemon into it, or does it have some significanse besides what I noticed?
#84 to #71 - deathcampforjewtie
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
No significance to the story, it really was just the way to bring Pokémon into it, but it was, up until 10 minutes ago, somewhat true. I now have a pretty good Gloom.
#76 to #71 - toosexyforyou
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
Now that you mention it, it would've been funnier if he said a different pokemon like pikachu.
#75 to #71 - newforomador
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
The point of it was that you think this random chick is ******* with this dude or something weird is going on. Instead, by saying about the oddish at the end, it signifies that it was nurse joy, who looks the same all the time but is a different person.
#92 to #68 - samjamfan
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
pokemon
#221 to #31 - hellsjester
Reply +7
(05/24/2013) [-]
you sir earned your thumbs
you sir earned your thumbs
#272 to #31 - anon
Reply 0
(05/27/2013) [-]
10/10
#201 to #31 - holololland
Reply +7
(05/24/2013) [-]
good... good...
good... good...
#243 to #201 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
who is that?
#236 to #31 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
ASIANS CAN ACTUALLY READ MINDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They can hear, and see what you're visually thinking. This is the absolute complete truth!!!!!

The reason a lot of Asians have completely expressionless faces is so they don't accidentally show facial expressions when people think things they don't like, find funny, astonishing, etc, and Asians segregate so their not nearly as susceptible to that happening.
Asians also segregate, and are untalkative to avoid accidentally saying things that are similar to what people are thinking and going to say.

Try thinking, and visually picturing things that are as wild as you can when you are around Asians, and look for Asians who give people dirty/particular looks for what appears to be for completely no reason.

PLEASE SPREAD THE MESSAGE!!!!! THE WORLD NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!!!
#224 to #31 - drainbramage
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
Well, that was unexpected.
Well, that was unexpected.
#58 to #31 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
You are one glorious bastard.
#219 to #31 - Eleatperson
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
my god...
my god...
#223 to #31 - murdtugget
Reply -6
(05/24/2013) [-]
Man if I ever played pokémon I am sure this would've been funnier
#231 to #223 - diverdee
Reply -2
(05/24/2013) [-]
What are you?
#203 to #31 - monkeybrains
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#39 to #31 - xtremedeath
Reply +101
(05/23/2013) [-]
10/10 would read again
#5 - martiini ONLINE
Reply +493
(05/23/2013) [-]
So the guy didn't have a 6-way with the nurses?   
   
Oh yeah, this is real life.
So the guy didn't have a 6-way with the nurses?

Oh yeah, this is real life.
#14 to #5 - yunablade
Reply -11
(05/23/2013) [-]
a six dash way with the nurses?
#21 to #5 - anon
Reply 0
(05/23/2013) [-]
Dude it's Xander. He was lucky to HAVE a girlfriend. Ever.
#66 to #21 - condormcninja
Reply +3
(05/24/2013) [-]
He had almost relations with a bunch of demons though. And he made it with Anya, the lucky bastard.
#127 to #5 - kaitheguy
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
that would make it a 7 way, kind sir
#27 to #5 - mooghens ONLINE
Reply +44
(05/23/2013) [-]
Nuff said
#37 to #27 - huntergriff ONLINE
Reply +24
(05/23/2013) [-]
...i'd **** both.
#49 to #37 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
careful i seen a guy get over 100 red thumbs because he said he prefers fat chicks before. didn't say anything bad just that he liked the fat chicks in a video and everyone went crazy on him because he didn't like skinny bitches..
#232 to #49 - diverdee
Reply +1
(05/24/2013) [-]
#47 to #27 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
thats ok i don't like blondes.
#1 - gunnay
Reply +178
(05/23/2013) [-]
and from that day on little johny never masturbated again...
#15 to #1 - yunablade
Reply -5
(05/23/2013) [-]
...on the hospital.
#61 to #15 - edwardyeap
Reply +8
(05/24/2013) [-]
Wait, you masturbate on the roof? Never done that before.
#138 to #61 - josephwolfe
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
I actually sat out a window of the hospital and did it, but hey, I guess there are two different types of people in this worled
#22 - pappathethird
Reply +167
(05/23/2013) [-]
Another funny hospital boner story, I'm content some of you have heard similar stories:

>Be me
>Hook up with a fat girl on new years eve
>Didn't use protection, yolo, etc.
>Woke up one night with immense pain in penis
>Straight to the hospital
>Bad case of chlamydia
>Nurse comes in
>Starts fondling my crotch
>Stopitboner.jpg
>She says it's ok, happens all the time
>"We have a ... 'way' to deal with that"
>Not sure if I like where this is going
>Firmly grasps shaft of penis
>wtf
>******* hammers her fist on head of penis with the strength of a thousand nord women
>All blood is literally punched out of penis back in to buddy
>Oh god the pain
>Have nightmares about boner-crushing nurse
>Didn't have a boner for weeks after that
#23 to #22 - nickmandemon
Reply 0
(05/23/2013) [-]
wtf lol this made me laugh so hard. I don't know if she should have done that though...
#25 to #22 - anon
Reply 0
(05/23/2013) [-]
yeah, this didn't happen
#26 to #25 - pappathethird
Reply +32
(05/23/2013) [-]
Yeah, it did. I can confirm it. I was there
#83 to #26 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
Yeah, this didn't happen.
#206 to #83 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
Yeah, it did. I can confirm it. I was there
#36 to #22 - anon
Reply 0
(05/23/2013) [-]
...Did you get your chlamydia cured?
#96 to #22 - upyourarsinal
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
i can seriously see you cowering in fear under a blanket or something
#181 to #22 - goldhiddan
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
I don't see how it would help with the chlamydia... or the boner...
dis be fake
#24 to #22 - pappathethird
Reply +2
(05/23/2013) [-]
I obviously meant to write 'body'



... i really should go to bed
#113 to #22 - YllekNayr
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
Thumbed up for "yolo, etc"
#245 to #22 - gudwurkspongeob
Reply +2
(05/24/2013) [-]
>******* hammers her fist on head of penis with the strength of a thousand nord women
>******* hammers her fist on head of penis with the strength of a thousand nord women
#136 to #22 - chickenfriednegro
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
Boner was kill?
#147 to #136 - pappathethird
Reply +5
(05/24/2013) [-]
yes
#87 to #22 - machobeasttwo
Reply +13
(05/24/2013) [-]
I thought she was just gonna knock the chlamydia out of your dick
#32 to #22 - alexhill
Reply +18
(05/23/2013) [-]
I can also confirm this. As I was there
#78 to #32 - anon
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
he was penis
#33 to #22 - ronyx ONLINE
Reply +23
(05/23/2013) [-]
Did she seriously give you a cockslap?
#43 to #22 - fukyu
Reply +47
(05/24/2013) [-]
i find it hard to believe a nurse punched you in the dick.
#3 - mattdoggy
Reply +137
(05/23/2013) [-]
>Went into hospital for a simple Endoscopy to check me out   
>they hook me up to all the crap and give me some powerful cocktails to get me prepped for the surgeons   
>i'm sitting in a room that is so cold the icecubes i was given to eat weren't melting for over 4 hours   
>the entire time, i'm alone in a gown with no ability to get up or a tv or anything   
>i eventually just start screwing around with my fingers and toes and hair to pass the time   
>just weird crap like that   
>after a while i went to see how long i could hold my breath   
>i take a few deep and quick breathes and try holding   
>after a minute i hear a loud crash and then several nurses and doctors slam through the door   
>they thought the drugs they gave me had made me crash and i had set off an alarm   
>they had knocked over some random person and tipped over the crash cart on the way to me dropping and breaking some things   
>apparently it was worth quite a lot   
>everyone except their chief of surgery who was working with me thought it was funny   
>they drew a frowny face on my forehead to show they weren't happy when i was under   
>me and the chiefs faces as i left the hospital later
>Went into hospital for a simple Endoscopy to check me out
>they hook me up to all the crap and give me some powerful cocktails to get me prepped for the surgeons
>i'm sitting in a room that is so cold the icecubes i was given to eat weren't melting for over 4 hours
>the entire time, i'm alone in a gown with no ability to get up or a tv or anything
>i eventually just start screwing around with my fingers and toes and hair to pass the time
>just weird crap like that
>after a while i went to see how long i could hold my breath
>i take a few deep and quick breathes and try holding
>after a minute i hear a loud crash and then several nurses and doctors slam through the door
>they thought the drugs they gave me had made me crash and i had set off an alarm
>they had knocked over some random person and tipped over the crash cart on the way to me dropping and breaking some things
>apparently it was worth quite a lot
>everyone except their chief of surgery who was working with me thought it was funny
>they drew a frowny face on my forehead to show they weren't happy when i was under
>me and the chiefs faces as i left the hospital later
#141 to #3 - bloodflowers
Reply +1
(05/24/2013) [-]
#130 to #3 - kaitheguy
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
hah.. the crash cart.. crashed
#18 to #3 - BowChickaBowWow
Reply +9
(05/23/2013) [-]
My endoscopy wasn't nearly that eventful. Gave me an IV in the hand, heard ringing in my ears, and the next thing I know, it's been half an hour and I'm asking for my pants.
#20 - PacManZilla
Reply +53
(05/23/2013) [-]
What would be funnier if it went off again just as they left.
#29 to #20 - biporch
Reply +125
(05/23/2013) [-]
And he died.
#91 to #29 - numbernumbernumber
Reply +4
(05/24/2013) [-]
As I sit here wondering how many people died laughing at your perfect, short comment.
As I sit here wondering how many people died laughing at your perfect, short comment.
#157 to #29 - CisForCookie
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
#85 to #29 - rsca
Reply -2
(05/24/2013) [-]
that escalated quickly.
#4 - vester
Reply +94
(05/23/2013) [-]
mortified my arse, he thought his porno fantasies were about to come true. that wasnt horror on his face, he went into horny overdrive.
#192 to #4 - GroundDrift
Reply 0
(05/24/2013) [-]
#56 - shazmo
Reply +79
(05/24/2013) [-]
When I had testicular torsion I had to go to the ER for surgery and as I get into the operating room (anesthesia already DJ 4DM1Nistered) I see my old baby sitter and then I pass out. MFW my old baby sitter operated on my ball sack and there was nothing I could do about it
When I had testicular torsion I had to go to the ER for surgery and as I get into the operating room (anesthesia already DJ 4DM1Nistered) I see my old baby sitter and then I pass out. MFW my old baby sitter operated on my ball sack and there was nothing I could do about it
#208 to #56 - rieskimo
Reply +1
(05/24/2013) [-]
MFW "testicular torsion"
#131 to #56 - aerosol
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
"DJ 4DM1Nistered"
#2 - pooflinger
Reply +52
(05/23/2013) [-]
Comment Picture
#19 - EdwardNigma
Reply +44
(05/23/2013) [-]
Alas, this is relevant.
#30 to #19 - anon
Reply 0
(05/23/2013) [-]
This kills the man
#55 to #19 - thegrimreaver
Reply +6
(05/24/2013) [-]
That man has the dead, soul-less eyes of a guy who has been caught masturbating by nurses.