Generic Mutilation.... Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of
x
Click to expand

Generic Mutilation...

Generic Mutilation.... Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of

Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" just loud enough for them to listen. Does anyone actually read the description? Probably not. I like tacos. I mean, really, who thought of that? "let's just put some meat in a handy dandy carrying device, and top it with cheese n' **** !" I'm not sure who it was, but that man is a genius. Why do the commercials show five gum to be so glorious? I've had it. It ain't amazing. I mean, it's decent, for gum, but eh. Are you actually reading this? No, you're not. But if you were, you would get a prize. But a ****** prize, like five gum and no tacos. What does something look like that's smaller than the size of light? Would we be able to see it even? Or would it just be invisible, no matter how much magnification you look through. I still have about 1600 words to write, so I'm just getting started. Have any of you ever been farted on? I can tell you, it ain't pretty. But, I suppose, it can be kinky if done right. At this point, I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I ain't erasing anything. Oh, when I said I had 1600 words, I meant characters. It's significantly less now, though. Why do people kill eachother in such large quantities? If we focused all that energy into sexy orgies, the world would be a hotter place. Once I tried to get my dog to give me a blowjob. If you're still reading this, you win a story. Once upon a time in a magical land of hookers, you got laid. I feel bad for that, it seems kinda like I was saying you can't get laid outside of magical hooker lands. What do hookers taste like? Probably like a dumpster. I like dumpsters. They have so much uses. How many nipples would I need to harvest to make a nipple coat? I don't mean a coat with nipples on it, either. I mean a coat made completely out of nipples. With nipples holding it all together. I'd probably need a butt ton of nipples. I wonder how many nipples I could get if I went to my local preschool. Nobody cares about children that young, either, so I'd be in the complete clear. They say you never get caught on the first time. I wonder if my nipple coat would get caught. Nah. Have you ever tried to turn nipples into a coat? It's not easy. The size differences, as well as texture and color, makes it hard to work out. I wonder how big the average dog nipple is. Do you know? Probably not. Nobody actually searches for that stuff. But they're soft, at least.

  • Recommend tagsx
+975
Views: 47072
Favorited: 206
Submitted: 05/31/2013
Share On Facebook
Add to favorites Subscribe to decoyoctopus Subscribe to fucking-tumblr submit to reddit

Comments(275):

[ 275 comments ]
What do you think? Give us your opinion. Anonymous comments allowed.
#36 - thechosentroll (05/31/2013) [-]
This image has expired
In other news, scientists discovered a gene that increases the flexability of your skin and jaw, allowing you to suck a dick the size of a lamp post. They called it the OP gene.
#230 to #36 - clockworkphysicist (06/01/2013) [-]
>OP's face when
#263 to #36 - diegotan (06/01/2013) [-]
OP is a fag thread? OP is a fag thread.
OP is a fag thread? OP is a fag thread.
User avatar #5 - schmettermuschi (05/31/2013) [-]
content is lying, but thumbed for the desc. wow
#15 - cheesewithmold (05/31/2013) [-]
Do not menstruate, but are fertile.   
   
   
Alright.
Do not menstruate, but are fertile.


Alright.
User avatar #262 to #15 - Visier (06/01/2013) [-]
They also have no legs, but are able to walk
#1 - quackyquack (05/31/2013) [-]
That description blew my mind.
That description blew my mind.
#77 - toastableduckling (06/01/2013) [-]
Too bad this "mutation" is faker than my girlfriend I tell everyone I have.
User avatar #85 to #77 - ctenop (06/01/2013) [-]
So if we get you a girlfriend, this will come true? Holy **** , we need to fund this.
#6 - butiloveu ONLINE (05/31/2013) [-]
The content is reposted a lot and not even true, but damn that description is funny.
The content is reposted a lot and not even true, but damn that description is funny.
User avatar #141 to #6 - gunthar (06/01/2013) [-]
and the description is also a repost
#40 to #6 - anon (06/01/2013) [-]
That description is reposted alot too
#135 - tealkangaroo ONLINE (06/01/2013) [-]
this rare genetic mutation is called photoshopus *********

it changes the colour of someones eyes gradually over time, each yeah a new colour is formed, once ten different colours have formed in the eye, the person dies and there body transforms into a rainbow, that is how rainbows are formed

(I totally didn't do this in photoshop in like 20 seconds)
User avatar #148 to #135 - godtherapist (06/01/2013) [-]
Alexandria's Genesis was made by a preteen fiction writer. This content was never serious, the fact that people are stupid enough to even think it might be real is sad beyond belief.
User avatar #174 to #148 - tealkangaroo ONLINE (06/01/2013) [-]
oh, well, the more you know
User avatar #178 to #174 - godtherapist (06/01/2013) [-]
If you want to know more about it you can read it straight from the authors mouth, figuratively of course.

You need to login to view this link
User avatar #180 to #178 - tealkangaroo ONLINE (06/01/2013) [-]
cheers mate
#287 to #148 - anon (05/18/2015) [-]
Actually, scientists have regarded the conditions/"side-affects" of Alexandria's Genesis and have concluded that the mutation could in many ways be possible. They also state that it quite possibly could have existed since "ancient" times because of the amount of rumors that exist about the condition. So, yeah.
#127 - I Am Monkey (06/01/2013) [-]
You can't be fertile without menstration.
#133 - turbodoosh ONLINE (06/01/2013) [-]
I read the entire description.
#101 - gibroner (06/01/2013) [-]
not only is this scientifically impossible and completely untrue the last time this was posted I looked it up and found it was made up as part of a daria fan fiction story
not only is this scientifically impossible and completely untrue the last time this was posted I looked it up and found it was made up as part of a daria fan fiction story
#221 to #101 - anon (06/01/2013) [-]
I just like the fact that they took the time to make up that it gets rid of anus hair. It's as if the author has a huge problem with anus hair in the first place. Just shave your butthole you little **** !
#32 - nooneofinterest (05/31/2013) [-]
The description

****
User avatar #87 - twilitsparkle (06/01/2013) [-]
Trust me you ass hair. Once I decided to shave my ass to prevent dingleberries

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ***** molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky **** /sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
User avatar #90 to #87 - twilitsparkle (06/01/2013) [-]
Unfortunately again, this exertion caused me to sweat, and when I finally reached my room, my cheeks were sliding back and forth against each other like a pair of horny cane-toads. I quickly dropped my pants, and attempted to dry my ass off by sticking it in front of a fan and spreading my cheeks. As I pulled the two mounds of flesh apart, a horrible stench burst free and filled the room. Every dog within a 4 block radius started to howl. I had it worst of all, as the ripe aroma of festering **** /sweat went into the fan and blew back into my face. I fought to keep from heaving. And as I sat there, fighting vomit, my ass cheeks spread and dripping, with the concentrated aroma of my body odor mixed with the tangy smell of my own **** blowing right into my face, I had only one thought: “It will be like this until the hair grows back. Weeks.”

Later on, trying to deal as best I could, wiping my ass at every opportunity, I discovered another wonderful use for ass-hair – ventilation. I attempted to launch a fart, only to have it get stuck between my asscheeks. Apparently, with no hair, the two pink twins can get vacuum sealed together, and the result was a frustrating fart that slid up and down between my cheeks like a lost gerbil.
User avatar #100 to #90 - whycanticaps (06/01/2013) [-]
note to self, trim ass hair, do not shave
#102 to #90 - pineapplepeople (06/01/2013) [-]
How do you fail at copypasta?
#116 - drewbridge (06/01/2013) [-]
Are part of the side affects not having any ******* TEAR DUCTS?
Fake as 3 ************* .
User avatar #119 to #116 - raquelian (06/01/2013) [-]
maybe, just maybe- you can"t see everyone's tear ducts
User avatar #120 to #119 - drewbridge (06/01/2013) [-]
Wrong. I decided to google "eye".

Not a SINGLE picture is the pink fleshy part your tear duct is not visible.
User avatar #121 to #120 - raquelian (06/01/2013) [-]
well............................................................................ ............. i can't help you buddy
#122 to #121 - drewbridge (06/01/2013) [-]
leave me alone
leave me alone
#8 - anon (05/31/2013) [-]
To answer the question in the description, the average nipple erection is 2cm

The more you know.
User avatar #18 to #8 - hhanako (05/31/2013) [-]
wut
#190 - bloodflowers (06/01/2013) [-]
"Women also do not menstruate, but are fertile"

yep that checks out
User avatar #175 - ilovehitler (06/01/2013) [-]
I actually like it when people repost my descriptions. Makes me feel like I made a funny.

www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/4445342/Dr+Ozzy/
obligatory proof
#105 - lolwtfme (06/01/2013) [-]
Thumb down for retard content or thumb up for funny description.
Thumb down for retard content or thumb up for funny description.

#30 - freakyorange (05/31/2013) [-]
Yeah, okay. This totally wasn't easy to photoshop.
User avatar #34 to #30 - spamalope (05/31/2013) [-]
Why don't you look it up?
#151 - thegoldenjet (06/01/2013) [-]
what if i like girls with anal hair
#160 to #151 - minoschur (06/01/2013) [-]
what if your pubes and her anal hair tangle
[ 275 comments ]
Leave a comment
 Friends (0)