Generic Mutilation.... Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of
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Generic Mutilation...

Sometimes I just like to follow little children around in a van and whisper "that's the good stuff. Show off that ass, you piece of meat" just loud enough for them to listen. Does anyone actually read the description? Probably not. I like tacos. I mean, really, who thought of that? "let's just put some meat in a handy dandy carrying device, and top it with cheese n' **** !" I'm not sure who it was, but that man is a genius. Why do the commercials show five gum to be so glorious? I've had it. It ain't amazing. I mean, it's decent, for gum, but eh. Are you actually reading this? No, you're not. But if you were, you would get a prize. But a ****** prize, like five gum and no tacos. What does something look like that's smaller than the size of light? Would we be able to see it even? Or would it just be invisible, no matter how much magnification you look through. I still have about 1600 words to write, so I'm just getting started. Have any of you ever been farted on? I can tell you, it ain't pretty. But, I suppose, it can be kinky if done right. At this point, I don't even know why I'm writing this, but I ain't erasing anything. Oh, when I said I had 1600 words, I meant characters. It's significantly less now, though. Why do people kill eachother in such large quantities? If we focused all that energy into sexy orgies, the world would be a hotter place. Once I tried to get my dog to give me a blowjob. If you're still reading this, you win a story. Once upon a time in a magical land of hookers, you got laid. I feel bad for that, it seems kinda like I was saying you can't get laid outside of magical hooker lands. What do hookers taste like? Probably like a dumpster. I like dumpsters. They have so much uses. How many nipples would I need to harvest to make a nipple coat? I don't mean a coat with nipples on it, either. I mean a coat made completely out of nipples. With nipples holding it all together. I'd probably need a butt ton of nipples. I wonder how many nipples I could get if I went to my local preschool. Nobody cares about children that young, either, so I'd be in the complete clear. They say you never get caught on the first time. I wonder if my nipple coat would get caught. Nah. Have you ever tried to turn nipples into a coat? It's not easy. The size differences, as well as texture and color, makes it hard to work out. I wonder how big the average dog nipple is. Do you know? Probably not. Nobody actually searches for that stuff. But they're soft, at least.

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Views: 46597
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Submitted: 05/31/2013
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Comments(274):

[ 274 comments ]

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User avatar #5 - schmettermuschi (05/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
content is lying, but thumbed for the desc. wow
#36 - thechosentroll (05/31/2013) [+] (5 replies)
This image has expired
In other news, scientists discovered a gene that increases the flexability of your skin and jaw, allowing you to suck a dick the size of a lamp post. They called it the OP gene.
#15 - cheesewithmold (05/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Do not menstruate, but are fertile.   
   
   
Alright.
Do not menstruate, but are fertile.


Alright.
#1 - quackyquack ONLINE (05/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
That description blew my mind.
That description blew my mind.
#6 - butiloveu ONLINE (05/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
The content is reposted a lot and not even true, but damn that description is funny.
The content is reposted a lot and not even true, but damn that description is funny.
#77 - toastableduckling (06/01/2013) [+] (1 reply)
Too bad this "mutation" is faker than my girlfriend I tell everyone I have.
#135 - tealkangaroo (06/01/2013) [+] (4 replies)
this rare genetic mutation is called photoshopus *********

it changes the colour of someones eyes gradually over time, each yeah a new colour is formed, once ten different colours have formed in the eye, the person dies and there body transforms into a rainbow, that is how rainbows are formed

(I totally didn't do this in photoshop in like 20 seconds)
#101 - gibroner (06/01/2013) [+] (1 reply)
not only is this scientifically impossible and completely untrue the last time this was posted I looked it up and found it was made up as part of a daria fan fiction story
not only is this scientifically impossible and completely untrue the last time this was posted I looked it up and found it was made up as part of a daria fan fiction story
#127 - I Am Monkey (06/01/2013) [-]
You can't be fertile without menstration.
#116 - drewbridge (06/01/2013) [+] (4 replies)
Are part of the side affects not having any ******* TEAR DUCTS?
Fake as 3 ************* .
#133 - turbodoosh (06/01/2013) [-]
I read the entire description.
#32 - nooneofinterest (05/31/2013) [-]
The description

****
#8 - xxxsonic fanxxx (05/31/2013) [+] (1 reply)
To answer the question in the description, the average nipple erection is 2cm

The more you know.
#105 - lolwtfme (06/01/2013) [-]
Thumb down for retard content or thumb up for funny description.
Thumb down for retard content or thumb up for funny description.

#30 - freakyorange (05/31/2013) [+] (2 replies)
Yeah, okay. This totally wasn't easy to photoshop.
User avatar #112 - mycatislookingatme (06/01/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Fun fact, this isn't real.

Sorry to **** on your dreams.
User avatar #89 - andalitemadness (06/01/2013) [-]
You can't not menstruate and still be fertile.
#91 - Lateralism (06/01/2013) [-]
MFW reading description
User avatar #87 - twilitsparkle (06/01/2013) [+] (3 replies)
Trust me you ass hair. Once I decided to shave my ass to prevent dingleberries

I performed the operation that night, with a cheap disposable razor and a towel to sit on. Starting from the bottom, and shaving from the crack to the cheeks, I began the arduous process of ridding my ass of hair. Occasionally, I would have to clean the razor of accumulated hair and miscellaneous slime, which I did by wiping it on the towel. Slowly, my twin mounds and the between-ravine began to resemble the hairless cheeks of a newborn baby. Finally, I wiped the razor one last time, and surveyed my work. The towel was covered with a pile of hair. My ass was smooth as ivory. I smiled, satisfied, thinking my troubles were over.

Unfortunately, it did dry, but only after mingling with the microscopic ***** molecules lingering around my brown starfish. When I stood up after class, my cheeks were stuck together with a slimy sticky **** /sweat combination. As I made my way back to my dorm, it started to itch. God-DAMN, did it itch! Felt like a swarm of ants was making its way up and down my crack. Fighting to keep from jamming my hand down there and scratching away, I rushed back to the dorm.
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