I may have told this story when I was an Anon.
>At friends house
>Firends says: "Hey bro! You have to try this! Go home right and find some hot chicks dancing and stuff on the internet and you rocket is gonna get hard. Pull on it and it'll be the best feeling ever! And some stuff is gonna come out so make sure you have tissue. And your hand has to be wet so you're gonna need some Vaseline or something."
>Dad's watching TV
>Mom's in the kitchen
>Go in computer room
>Gets complete naked except for underwear
>Pull those around ankles
>Search "hot chicks naked" on google
>Find the music video "Tip Drill"
>Shoves both hands in vaseline
>Doesn't hear Mom come in
>She flips the **** out
Mom: "OH MY GOD! What the hell are you doing?! Bill! Bill get in here!"
>Dad runs in
>Tries to run
>Underwear around ankles
>Hits head on computer table
>Wake up in hospital with social workers asking if my parents did this
>Dad tells this story every year at Thanksgiving when he gets drunk
>Mom can't look at me the same