/b/lack people. Found on 4chan. Made me giggle.. My Grandpa is the most racist person on the face of the planet: > Be 12 years old, 2006 > Going to Red Lobster to celebrate Grandpa's 85th birthday > W testicles
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#111 - iclarinet (12/06/2012) [-]
>be me, roughly 4 years old.
>white blonde hair, blues eyes, ********** skin.
>in the store with my mom.
>see reaaaally dark skinned black man.
>really big guy.
>i go right up to him and say "wow, you're REALLY black!"
>mom is horrified.
>he bends down on one knee
>"and you're really white!"
yay for being a kid.
User avatar #90 - oneironaut (12/06/2012) [-]
> ****** eyesight
>Somehow, pulling at the corner of my eyes helps a little

>At the food court with my family
>Sitting at a table, trying to see the overhead menu at a nearby restaurant
>Pulling at eyes, trying really hard to see
>It takes me a full five minutes before I realize I'm pulling my eyes and squinting at Manchu Wok, of which all the employees are asian

>I'm so ******* sorry
User avatar #133 to #90 - nyxeos (12/06/2012) [-]
For future reference, if you make a small hole with your fingers and look through it it will have the same effect... without the worry of looking racist haha
#135 to #90 - jakeattack (12/06/2012) [-]
i think pulling at the corners you are stretching it a little bit changing how light goes into your eye and modifying it to be a little better.
#16 - A Pickle (12/06/2012) [-]
My Grandpa is the most racist person on the face of the planet:   
> Be 12 years old, 2006   
> Going to Red Lobster to celebrate Grandpa's 85th birthday   
> We get seated at our table   
> Group of black people walks in and sits on the opposite side of our section   
> Grandpa says to me "Hey Rick, look over there..." Pointing to the table with the black family   
> "Yea?" I asked   
> "Look at the 			*******		!" He literally burst out laughing   
> mfw
My Grandpa is the most racist person on the face of the planet:
> Be 12 years old, 2006
> Going to Red Lobster to celebrate Grandpa's 85th birthday
> We get seated at our table
> Group of black people walks in and sits on the opposite side of our section
> Grandpa says to me "Hey Rick, look over there..." Pointing to the table with the black family
> "Yea?" I asked
> "Look at the ******* !" He literally burst out laughing
> mfw
#241 to #16 - Tosspot (12/07/2012) [-]
my grandma is a gentle racist   
she drove me home from middle school   
passing through black neighborhood   
kids playing in the yards and streets   
black kids   
she drives through    
says "where did all these little 			******		 babies pop up from?"   
lol all the way home
my grandma is a gentle racist
she drove me home from middle school
passing through black neighborhood
kids playing in the yards and streets
black kids
she drives through
says "where did all these little ****** babies pop up from?"
lol all the way home
User avatar #214 to #16 - localcatbarber (12/06/2012) [-]
My grandpa honestly believe that if representatives from all religions have a meeting to decide which religion is the best, we can all convert to that religion, and there will be world peace.
User avatar #107 to #16 - organicglory (12/06/2012) [-]
Is that YFW cus your black?
User avatar #240 to #107 - A Pickle (12/06/2012) [-]
No, I didn't even think about that lol
#17 to #16 - augustusxxiv (12/06/2012) [-]
<---I probably would've done this.
<---I probably would've done this.
+10
#18 to #17 - A Pickle has deleted their comment [-]
User avatar #19 to #16 - savirleo (12/06/2012) [-]
Reminds me of what a friend of mine told me
His grandpa drove him to school
Saw all the *******
says "I'd feel safer with my shotgun"
#8 - baramill (12/06/2012) [-]
Playing Borderlands 2 with a friend   
He likes to just run around picking up everything that drops without looking at it (looking at the loot when he goes to sell it later)   
He quite often runs by and picks up 			****		 I'm looking at / want   
One time a legendary (orange) drops and just as I press E to pick it up he runs by   
I get annoyed because this happens so often   
Me: &quot;Stop running around and stealing everything like a 			******		&quot;   
Him: &quot;.....&quot;   
Me: &quot;.....&quot;   
Him: &quot;Did you just say that?&quot;   
   
MFW he's black
Playing Borderlands 2 with a friend
He likes to just run around picking up everything that drops without looking at it (looking at the loot when he goes to sell it later)
He quite often runs by and picks up **** I'm looking at / want
One time a legendary (orange) drops and just as I press E to pick it up he runs by
I get annoyed because this happens so often
Me: "Stop running around and stealing everything like a ****** "
Him: "....."
Me: "....."
Him: "Did you just say that?"

MFW he's black
#156 - therealtotodile (12/06/2012) [-]
&gt;Live in Florida.    
&gt;Cubans as far as the eye can see.   
&gt;In middle school waiting in line for lunch.   
&gt;Some Cubans fresh off the boat cut in front of my friends and I.   
&gt;Tell them to get to the back of the line.   
&gt;They start speaking Spanish so fast I can't even understand it, and I'm Hispanic as well.   
&gt;Make a joke saying &quot;get to the back of the line or else we'll tell the police your family is here illegally&quot;.   
&gt;They do. I wasn't serious.   
&gt;As they walk away, my friends and I sing &quot;row, row, row your boat. Stupid refugees. If you row fast enough, you'll make it to the Keys.    
   
Mfw I didn't even feel sorry.
>Live in Florida.
>Cubans as far as the eye can see.
>In middle school waiting in line for lunch.
>Some Cubans fresh off the boat cut in front of my friends and I.
>Tell them to get to the back of the line.
>They start speaking Spanish so fast I can't even understand it, and I'm Hispanic as well.
>Make a joke saying "get to the back of the line or else we'll tell the police your family is here illegally".
>They do. I wasn't serious.
>As they walk away, my friends and I sing "row, row, row your boat. Stupid refugees. If you row fast enough, you'll make it to the Keys.

Mfw I didn't even feel sorry.
User avatar #239 to #156 - swimmingprodigy (12/06/2012) [-]
that was glorious
#157 to #156 - psychorhino (12/06/2012) [-]
I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.
#172 - paarskwadraat (12/06/2012) [-]
> 2 years ago
> black friend runs to try and catch the bus
> as a joke shout: he stole my wallet
> police arrests and search him
> they couldn't find a wallet
> they came to me and gave me a ticket
#143 - xXScrappyJrXx (12/06/2012) [-]
>be 5 or 6
>mom playing random game on computer( i think it was poker or something)
>people could pick their own little avatar
>see a monkey on the screen "mom! look a monkey!"
>"where?"
>thinking i was gonna trick her i point at the only black person in the game
>dads fw
#110 - murdershy (12/06/2012) [-]
&gt;Be me   
&gt;Be in 8th grade   
&gt;Doing some boring 			****		 work in computer lab so I have my head down   
&gt;Teacher decides to show us a picture of a teacher/the mayor's adopted daughter   
&gt;Sudden urge to look up so I do   
&gt;Sees Chinese baby on the huge screen   
&gt;Blurt out &quot;CHUNG POW&quot;   
&gt;Whole class dies of laughter   
&gt;In huge 			*******		 trouble   
&gt;MFW
>Be me
>Be in 8th grade
>Doing some boring **** work in computer lab so I have my head down
>Teacher decides to show us a picture of a teacher/the mayor's adopted daughter
>Sudden urge to look up so I do
>Sees Chinese baby on the huge screen
>Blurt out "CHUNG POW"
>Whole class dies of laughter
>In huge ******* trouble
>MFW
#169 - samxdaxman (12/06/2012) [-]
>last year, I was hanging out at a mall with a black friend
>out of nowhere, a little black boy comes up to me
>says to me "are you really white?"
>"excuse me?"
>"are you really white? You're hanging out with a black person and you don't look white."
>look both ways suspiciously and reply "no, I'm actually a black person in disguise. I'm in charge of making sure the white people don't realize we control them. Don't tell anyone though!"
>he nods and runs away happy as ****
>MFW I probably just created a black supremacist.
#204 - ninootendoo (12/06/2012) [-]
> ***** part of family's daily vocabulary
>Be at Rainforest in Puerto Rico
>Brother starts running through the wilderness
>Dad yells RUN ***** RUN
>Black family behind us
>mfw
#130 - anon (12/06/2012) [-]
>get new job cooking in pub
>scream "INTO ZE OVEN" as I put a pizza in on my first night, my boss laughs along with me
>next day telling coworkers about it
>dude the boss is jewish
>mfw
#150 to #130 - axb (12/06/2012) [-]
MFW you have no face.   
   
Inb4 anti-pony hatred.
MFW you have no face.

Inb4 anti-pony hatred.
#20 - thefasrdog (12/06/2012) [-]
MFW I'm called a cracker.
User avatar #21 to #20 - intabutter (12/06/2012) [-]
okay louis
User avatar #25 to #20 - thefasrdog (12/06/2012) [-]
www.youtube.com/watch?v=TG4f9zR5yzY

Skip to 2:00 if you don't get the joke.
User avatar #34 to #20 - mrblueftw (12/06/2012) [-]
I laughed way to hard at that joke
Louis CK is awesome.
User avatar #24 to #20 - illegalartist (12/06/2012) [-]
ive never really been insulted when i was called a cracker. it just doesnt feel insulting enough. Ive actually felt bad for black people because they dont have a really good racist word for us.
User avatar #42 to #24 - sepheroth (12/06/2012) [-]
You should just remind them that the word comes from the sounds the whip would make when we whipped their ancestors. Cracker should be worse for them
#132 - I Am Monkey (12/06/2012) [-]
>No ride home from school
>Mom says she had to call an expensive cab service to pick me up
>See Indian with a black suit and cap standing by a Lincoln
>Start getting into the car
>"Wtf are you doing"
>Realize there is no correct answer to that question
>Poker face the **** out of there
User avatar #218 to #132 - elcreepo (12/06/2012) [-]
This is why i'm glad I live in a place that doesn't have cab service.
User avatar #127 - sphincterface (12/06/2012) [-]
>Be me, 5, at a really nice restaurant.
>Old black man sits at table nearby.
>He has very grey hair, some showing on his back. He is a very big guy, very tall and he is very very black...literally black.
>He looks like a silverback gorilla.
>I start shouting, "Mommy! Mommy! It's a gorilla!"
>She tells me to be quiet, I don't listen and keep declaring the old black man is a gorilla.
>Whole restaurant can hear me, it gets very silent. I don't notice.
>Black man is still there. He looks at me and laughs.
>I stop, embarrassed. I didn't catch the irony that its racist to call a black person a gorilla. I was only embarrassed that I was wrong.
#139 to #127 - swagbot (12/06/2012) [-]
awww shiiiiiiiiiiiiit

On the other hand, Gorillas are completely tough and badass.... that's not really an insult.
User avatar #244 to #139 - swimmingprodigy (12/07/2012) [-]
you're right, you should walk up to the next black guy you see and compliment him on being such an awesome badass gorilla
#245 to #244 - swagbot (12/08/2012) [-]
notsureifserious.jpg....
#65 - palindromia (12/06/2012) [-]
>be in smoking area around a bunch of black people
>discussing with friend who im gonna ask for a ride to an appointment
>"I don't wanna ask Max because i don't wanna listen to his ****** beats for an hour"
>loading...
>realization
> **** pants cuz of nearby black people
>they didn't hear me because they're loud obnoxious *******
>walk away with pants full of ****
>MFW
#166 - trevorsta (12/06/2012) [-]
>go out to random place
>bump into only black friend I have there
>bored as hell, hang out with him and his black friends
>they all make ****** jokes I don't get
>WhatAmIDoingHere.jpg
>get a bit drunk
>black friend disappears
>yell at the rest of black guys "ma ******* have you seen ma ***** ?"

TFW
+26
#128 - Turken **User deleted account** has deleted their comment [-]
#89 - sstony (12/06/2012) [-]
>2 black kids in class, one named broderick, the other named Davonne
>Tap on Davonne's shoulder and say "Broderick"
>he ignores me
>say broderick like 5 more times
>Broderick turns to me from three seats down
>"I'm broderick. He's Davonne"
>"Sorry, you look the same to me."
>HFW

Pic related, it's him.
#118 - Spikeydeath (12/06/2012) [-]
when i was 4 this black kid who did nothing wrong to me said hi to me, and i just beat him up like just destroyed him
#124 to #118 - curtt (12/06/2012) [-]
The poorly constructed sentence made it even funnier
The poorly constructed sentence made it even funnier
User avatar #60 - theism (12/06/2012) [-]
>At laser tag place with friends
>Sitting at racing game not playing because **** the police
>See black kid
>Whisper to my friend "Look, a niglet".
>He comes up and it sound like he says "Ya'll racist?"
>Get nervous thinking he heard me and cover myself by saying "Are you asking because I'm white?"
>Turns out he said "Ya'll racing?" because we were sitting at the game.
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